A Darker Kind of Love

by Angela Peach

  “You already do!” I whispered, straining forward to kiss her. But she pulled back slightly and I realised why when she repositioned herself so that the tip of her clit was touching mine. I groaned, my head falling back to the pillow and pushed my hips up gently, increasing the pressure. She gasped and ground down on me, lowering her head to kiss me again, locking our mouths as we moved in a gentle rhythm against each other. It was agonisingly, torturously beautiful! When she drew her head back to look at me, our eyes met and I saw the powerful effect we were having on each other. I opened myself up to her completely, letting all my feelings flood out and into her, and hers into me. It was like getting caught in an explosion in a hurricane and she paused her movements for a second, staring at me in surprise. I pulled a hand free and caressed her face, understanding how intense this was for her – we were so connected right now, it was hard to tell our feelings apart. Pulling her back to kiss me, I recognised that the energy between us had changed, evolved into something that was capable of blowing our minds. Without sounding too cheesy it felt like we'd connected as one person, joining together as one energy. It was something I'd never really believed in before but was definitely experiencing first hand now.

  On a more physical, carnal level our clits had swelled with hot blood, desperate for more contact, more pressure, more everything. Suddenly we were rolling around on the bed groaning loudly with desire, aware that we needed some kind of release before we exploded. As Sophie's hand reached between my open thighs I gasped, pushing onto her fingers and feeling myself reach an emotion close to perfection. Shyly at first as she gauged the speed and pressure I liked, she expertly (and ridiculously quickly) drew me toward a powerful climax. I lost all sense of control and rose off the bed, crying out as a wave of intense ecstasy crashed through me. The pleasure didn't ebb away like a normal climax though. Instead, pulses of wonderful tingling sensations rippled through me for what seemed like ages afterwards.

  “Was that okay?” she whispered, delicately brushing strands of hair from my face. I opened my eyes feeling drunk and high and totally blown away all at the same time. Unable to speak, I simply looked into her eyes, feeling such a powerful exchange of love and respect blossom between us, it was almost as if every single nerve ending in my body was having its own individual climax. It was like a full body pins and needles experience, but in an intensely pleasurable way. And by the expression on Sophie's face, it was entirely mutual. I wanted to cry from such a beautiful shared moment.

  Needing to touch her, I stroked my hand softly down her body, feeling it quiver with excitement as I passed over extra sensitive spots that I planned returning to later. By the time I reached her swollen clit, it was open and warm and welcomed my fingers eagerly. Sophie's jaw dropped as I circled it gently, and when I eased my fingers inside her, she groaned with pleasure and clutched me tight. As she pushed herself onto me, I gasped – the sensation of being inside her was beautiful and I watched her face as I located and stroked her G-Spot. I built a deep, slow rhythm up, and feeling her grip and ride my fingers was giving me more pleasure than I'd got from most sexual partners trying to please me! She was beautiful and I loved her and I was loving her!

  Her thrusts became more determined and we locked mouths as she lost control, giving in as her own powerful climax rocked through her body. She cried out as her body arched, shaking with the intensity of it, and I almost came again with her. It was a while before she relaxed, a small smile of wonder on her face, and I stared at her in awe – she was practically glowing. She managed to open her eyes, and they searched mine for a few seconds.

  “Hanna..?”

  “I know.

  There was no need for any other words. Now that we'd got the initial burning desire out of the way, we were free to explore each other slowly and tenderly. We spent hours finding new spots of pleasure on our bodies, alternative ways to orgasm that we'd never even thought existed before (as well as the more conventional ways, of course.)

  Between all this I helped explain to her how to see energy fields. Whether or not it was because we were so completely connected on every level, she was able to easily de-focus her eyes on our energy and saw the sparks that crackled between us. It was such a magical thing to observe as she moved her hand a couple of inches above my skin, smiling when she spotted the little lightning bolts of energy connecting us.

  In fact, the whole night was completely magical. I had so much to look forward to with Sophie, exploring each other physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, that I wondered if we'd ever find time to do anything else with our lives! This was knowing I'd found my soulmate. It was the connection of our minds, bodies, hearts and souls!

  It was love.

  CHAPTER 21

  “Are you watching me sleep?” Sophie muttered, not opening her eyes. I smiled.

  “No. Yes. Sorry!”

  She forced one of her brown eyes open to look at me, amused.

  “Don't go all weird and freaky on me now that I've had sex with you Hanna Compton. Just cos you made me cum about a hundred times...”

  “Surely it was more than that?”

  “Mm, maybe. But don't let it go to your head. What was I saying?”

  “How amazing I am?” I offered, kissing her neck. I loved how she tasted, like all of her. As I ran my tongue up the soft curves leading to her ear, she tilted her head to allow me more access and I felt my clit re-engage.

  “Touch me,” she huskily demanded, finding my hand and guiding it down. I was happy to obey and briefly wondered if she'd woken up this wet, or had just got there super quick. Either way, it was very inviting and I readjusted my position so I was above her, and able to kiss my way down her body. Lowering my mouth to her nipple, I took it gently into my mouth, knowing they were incredibly sensitive. She tangled her hands into my hair, massaging my scalp as I softly sucked and circled my tongue around it until it was erect, then I moved to the next one. (Well, they both deserved to be treated as equally as each other.)

  As I was tracing my mouth over the contours of her stomach, she kicked the duvet off and I saw a flush on her face that was incredibly endearing. And by the time my lips reached her clit, she was raising her hips to meet me impatiently. I kissed her, sliding my tongue through the silky folds and drinking in her juices until I found the entrance I was seeking. She opened up further and I pushed my tongue through, loving the cute groans of pleasure that escaped her mouth as I did. Still holding my hair, she ground gently onto me as her thighs gently gripped the sides of my face and I marvelled for the millionth time at how beautiful she looked. I devoured her in a way not so dissimilar to the fruit from the poem Goblin Market, like she was feeding me and without her, I'd waste away and be unable to continue living. (Okay, so that was probably a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the general idea!)

  When she came, a kaleidoscope of colours burst from her and I watched stunned. I'd never seen anything like it during sex before and it was almost hypnotic.

  If this is what sex is like now, what on earth is it going to be like when we know each other more, when we're more connected than we already are?

  As Sophie smiled her dreamy, satisfied smile and pulled me up to kiss me, I knew I was certainly going to enjoy finding out.

  I was pretty sure we'd only managed to grab a few hours kip, not wanting to waste our precious time together by sleeping, but I didn't feel tired at all. On the contrary, I felt energised and ready for the day if not a little shaky on my legs!

  But we were both out of bed by half nine and walking Danny (who seemed a little sulky about being left in the lounge all night on his own) before making fried egg sandwiches and a pot of tea for breakfast. It was how I wanted to wake up every Sunday. It was kind of how I wanted to wake up every day, but I'd definitely settle for every Sunday.

  While Sophie grabbed a quick shower, I stripped the bed, put the sheets in the washing machine and quickly did the pots. But after a sexy invite to wash her back, I ended up joining her and w
e spent a good half an hour unnecessarily soaping each other down. It felt so erotic sliding our bodies together and kissing under the hot jets, although the romance of the situation got a bit lost when water kept going in our mouths and eyes.

  Ju wasn't due back until later this afternoon so we had most of the day to relax (which basically meant putting Netflix on while we canoodled on the sofa under my duvet.) At one point in the afternoon I actually shed a couple of tears out of sheer contentment. Instead of laughing, or teasing me even a little, she simply cuddled me into her chest and held me tight. I whispered that I was in love with her, and she told me she felt the same before making love to me so tenderly, I wanted to cry again! I felt like I already knew her soul but was only just getting to know her. What she liked and disliked, her past and dreams of the future, sad memories and fondest ones too. We were in no rush, seeing our lives together just beginning. It was an exciting notion.

  By the time Ju called with her one hour warning, I was already starting to feel pangs of sadness about Sophie going home. In fact, I really didn't want her to go, so much so that I could feel myself getting slightly clingy with her. I started wondering how Ju would feel if she stayed over an extra night, and when I heard the front door open I was all geared up to ask.

  “Hello-o, are you both decent?” Ju called out, the door ajar as she waited outside. We both shouted yes and she came in, flopping dejectedly down on the sofa next to me and pulling the duvet over her.

  “Everything alright mate?” I asked. She shrugged, gave a small sigh then nodded.

  “Yeah. Did you guys have a good time?”

  “Wasn't too bad I guess,” I replied, unable to stop from smiling. I glanced at Sophie and she held my gaze, sucking her lower lip suggestively in a way that made me want to jump her right then and there. Under the duvet I felt her squeeze my leg.

  “Oi, less of all that! Don't think I can't see your hands moving under there.”

  “Sorry!”

  We both put our hands on the top of the covers, but clasped them tight as if not wanting to miss a chance at physical contact.

  “So listen, I was talking to Fred, and we kind of came up with a plan. I invited her over tomorrow so we could spend Christmas together, but we didn't want you two to miss out. So if Sophie doesn't already have plans, and wants to come over, you're more than welcome cos I've got plenty of food and drink to go round. We're just gonna watch films, open presents and probably get really drunk on whiskey and baileys and be asleep before five,” Ju said, trying to unsuccessfully deal with Danny clambering on her lap. Sophie sat forward excitedly.

  “Seriously? Cos that'd be amazing! I was just gonna go to my Mum and Dad's but it's not really something I was looking forward to, so this would be perfect,” she said happily, smiling at me. I smiled back, but the anxious feeling in my stomach was making me feel positively sick. Was this separation anxiety just from spending one night together? Was I going to feel like this every time we were due to part ways? I'd never really experienced this level of neediness with a partner before, and didn't want to scare Sophie off by being too clingy with her, so I quashed it down and tried to get a grip on myself. But I decided I was definitely going to quietly ask Ju if Sophie could stay over again, rather than me taking her and Danny back to the flats just for one night. I got the opportunity when Sophie went to the toilet, but as I turned to her with the question ready in my mouth, Ju spoke first.

  “Hanna, I really need to talk to you when Sophie's gone home,” she whispered, an urgent tone in her voice. I actually felt my stomach sink like lead.

  “Uh, sure. Is everything okay?”

  “I don't know. Yes, I suppose, but I really need your opinion, or your advice, or both, I don't know,” Ju hissed, seeming genuinely flustered. I forced a smile for her and placed my arm around her shoulders.

  “Of course, mate. You can have whatever you want.”

  After everything my best friend had done for me, the least I could do was put her first and help her out with whatever was bothering her, no matter how loud my instincts were screaming. She gave me a big grateful hug, then went to put the kettle on for a cup of tea.

  When Sophie returned, I tried my best to eke out driving her and Danny home for as long as possible, but by eight fifteen I knew I couldn't put it off any longer, especially as Ju had started dropping subtle hints.

  With a heavy heart, I loaded my girlfriend and my dog into the car and drove them to a street near the flats so Sophie could walk him before going in for the night. But it was an incredibly hard struggle driving off and leaving them, and I had to keep telling myself that Ju was waiting to talk to me and she deserved some attention too.

  It's less than twenty four hours. Come on Hanna, get a bloody grip.

  My pep talk did nothing to ease my nerves, and after I'd parked up outside Ju's I dialled Sophie's number, hung up before it could ring, then re-dialled it again. She answered on the second ring.

  “Hey, I was just about to call you!”

  “Really, why? Is everything alright?”

  “Yeah, I just...ah fuck, I know it's gonna sound stupid...I um, I'm almost home and I just looked up at the building and...”

  “What?”

  She gave a nervous laugh.

  “It's stupid. It just...it doesn't feel like home anymore.”

  I closed my eyes, wishing she was here next to me in the car.

  “It's not stupid, sweetie. Home is where the heart is, right?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, it is,” she said, sounding so sad that I actually put the key back in the ignition, ready to go back and get her. Then she sighed. “So, what were you calling me for?”

  “I don't know. I think I just wanted to hear your voice one last time.” I wished I'd chosen different words as a chill worked through my bones.

  “Aw, well I'm glad you did. Anyway, I'd better go now. I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night with Julianne.”

  “Okay. Give Danny lots of cuddles,” I wanted to add 'I love you' but it still felt quite early to be saying that on a phone call so I just ended it with, “See you tomorrow, sweet dreams.”

  “You too. Bye.”

  Then the phone went silent as she hung up. I wanted to cry. Before I knew it, I was crying and I knew it was irrational and silly and that I was going to be seeing her in less than seventeen hours, but I couldn't help how I was feeling. I allowed myself a couple of minutes before wiping the tears away and taking some deep breaths to go inside.

  “You've been ages. I thought you'd gone in for a quickie,” Ju said, glancing up from a Christmas special of 8 Out Of 10 Cats. “I poured us both a drink but I started on the wine while I was waiting for you.”

  I sat next to her on the sofa and looked at the glasses on the table, knowing they would contain a lethal mix of whiskey and Baileys, Ju's favourite tipple at this time of year. Despite feeling like I could really do with a drink, I ignored it. She lifted her legs up and lay them across my lap and turned the volume on the tv down.

  “Sorry. So what did you want to talk about? Is everything cool with you and Fred?”

  “Nothing's wrong. The opposite, really. It's all great.”

  “O-kay, so why are you so down?” I waited patiently for her to continue as she fidgeted with her wine.

  “It's not easy for me to say, Hanna.”

  “That's okay, just take your t...”

  “I really want to have sex with her, but obviously not with her...”

  “You-know-whatsy?” I interrupted, smiling.

  “Do you have to be so childish about it? Yes, that. But Freddie doesn't want to do anything until she's transitioned. Anything, Hanna. Not even kiss!”

  I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

  “So what did you both do last night?”

  “Well, we watched Death Proof and Donnie Darko, then we talked a lot, and then we snuggled in bed, with full pyjamas on. Don't get me wrong, it was really nice and we sorted through a lot of stuff. But...”

 
“But you're really horny?”

  “Yes!”

  “Aw, honey. I don't know what to say.”

  “The worst thing is that tomorrow and Christmas Day, we're going to be drinking a lot of booze. And we all know what happens when we drink lots of booze together, don't we?” Ju asked, taking a large sip of her drink. “We get frisky is what happens. So what do I do?”

  “I think you're just gonna have to let Freddie set the pace, mate. It's got to be what she feels comfortable with at the end of the day. Wow. That feels weird,” I said, pushing her legs off and putting my head between my knees. I'd suddenly got incredibly dizzy and had to shake my head slightly to focus.

  “You okay Han?” Ju asked, but her voice was distant.

  “No. I think I need some air or something,” I mumbled, getting shakily to my feet and stumbling towards the window. But before I got there, my vision went dark and I saw something else. Something terrifying.

  “...to the sofa, I'll get you a glass of water,” I heard as my senses all returned at the same time.

  “No! We have to go now!” I said, already running for the front door and not caring if Ju followed me. I couldn't waste any time waiting to explain what I'd seen, so she either came or she didn't.

  “Oh my god, what's going on Han?”

  I jabbed impatiently at the button to call the lift as Ju pulled on her jacket and trainers before running out to join me.

  “I saw her. I saw Mel...hurting Sophie. She's going to kill them, Ju, she's going to...” I struggled to breathe but fought against the rising panic to just run down the stairs. It would take longer than the lift and I needed to preserve as much energy as possible.

  “What do you mean? Are you sure? I mean...”

  “Yes, I'm sure. I didn't just see it, I felt it. Sophie doesn't stand a chance against Mel and we don't have long.”

  The lift doors opened and we jumped in, aware of time slipping away at a scarily rapid pace.