Cowboy State of Mind (Tarnation, Texas Book 4)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  “That’s good. You should.” He gulped down half of the coffee, feeling it burn all the way into his stomach. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was headed, but, by Cady’s body language, it couldn’t be in any good direction. She seemed about as shocked to see him as he was her this morning. “CC and I didn’t sleep together…well, we slept together, but not in a way you might be thinking.”

  “There’s a lot you don’t know about her.”

  “Cady, I respect the fact that you’re looking out for her, but nothing—”

  “Please, let me finish.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “My sister doesn’t like for anyone to know certain things about her. I guess that’s for self-preservation. I can see why she likes her privacy, but she must trust people. I know her as well as I know myself and I know CC’s up to something.”

  He drained his cup and rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to get in the middle of things between the sisters. “Have you talked to her about your concerns?”

  “She’s good at keeping secrets. Anyway, I doubt she’s told you what you need to know.”

  “Cady—” He blew out a long breath then placed his cup in the sink. The caffeine was starting to work magic in his bloodstream.

  “She is sick,” she blurted, keeping her voice low.

  “Sick? She only has a cold.”

  “CKD. Ever heard of it?”

  He felt a sock to his gut. He’d never heard of it, but it didn’t sound good. “No.”

  “She doesn’t look or act like it, but she has chronic kidney disease. She was diagnosed in her late twenties and she’s done a damn good job at changing her lifestyle and the medicine helps.”

  Adam dropped into a chair. That would explain the medicine bottles and what Betty had implied last night in the parking lot.

  “I know it’s shocking. It’s not a disease we can look at her and know she has it.”

  “How bad is it?”

  “She’s in stage two. Her labs are good, but…” She looked away.

  “But?”

  “I want her to be happy, Adam. Although I’m not saying that you two aren’t in love—”

  “Whoa. Where’s this headed?”

  “CC would probably like for me to mind my own business, but Rob told me last night that you and my sister are engaged. I thought he was lying, but now…well…You can understand my concern when she didn’t even tell me. Her sister. She tells me everything.” Worry etched lines around her eyes.

  Damn, he should have known things would spiral out of control. “Just so you know, I’d never hurt her.”

  One corner of her mouth played with a smile. “You seem kind. You have honest eyes. And I saw you with her last night and there is a connection between you two, no doubt. I just don’t want her to end up like she was with Rob.”

  “Cady, I think your concern is great, but—”

  “Don’t.”

  “Sorry, but you should speak to CC.”

  “Please don’t tell her I told you about her illness. I probably shouldn’t have said anything—”

  “You said something because you love her. I respect that.”

  A blanket of silence fell over them.

  “This looks serious.”

  CC was standing in the doorway, her hands on her hips and her chin tilted. She glanced from each of them, curiosity spinning a tale in her expression. Adam felt his gut twist and his heart skip five beats. Had she overheard them talking? The heat turned up in the small space.

  “Hi,” Cady said.

  “Any more of the coffee left?”

  “Coming right up.” Cady stood and went to the coffee maker. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better. Did Adam tell you that I had the sniffles?”

  “Yes, that’s what he was just saying.” Cady gave him a quick glimpse.

  Adam’s gaze naturally traveled from CC’s wavy hair, to her sweet, flushed face to the white robe that landed mid-thigh. She looked healthy, but Cady said she was sick. He had no clue what the symptoms were of CKD, but the puzzle pieces came together. This was why she wanted to have a child, before she got sicker. He didn’t know for sure, but he’d bet his eye teeth on that fact. CC could be described as a nurturer. He saw it with how she took care of animals. No doubt she’d be a damn good mother, but what if getting pregnant made her sicker? A stabbing sensation centered in his chest.

  “I hope my sister behaved herself. She likes to stir up trouble.” CC’s gaze met his, a silent question in the clear depths. “Always has. Just like coming all the way out here without calling first.”

  “I’m standing right here so I can hear you.” Cady laughed.

  “I knew you could.”

  “Why do you think I have a key? That means I don’t need to call first. I’ve treated you just fine, haven’t I, Adam?”

  He tugged at the collar of his shirt. “No complaints.”

  “She likes to scare men. Even tough men like you.” CC sighed. “She once had Rob peeing his pants.”

  “Really?” He looked from both women. “Why don’t I find that hard to believe?”

  “Don’t believe her.” Cady warned then she handed CC the steaming cup that was in the shape of a cat’s head. Fitting. “He didn’t pee himself but he may have needed a change of boxers.”

  The funny banter between the sisters almost made him forget that he knew CC’s secret. “I don’t hear you sneezing or coughing. You seem much better.”

  The feminine softness returned to CC’s face. “I feel fine. Did you take off work to come all the way here?” she asked Cady.

  With a careless shrug, Cady smiled. “I just wanted to see my sister. Is that a problem?”

  “No, I guess not.”

  Feeling like this was his cue, he stood and started for the door. “I should be going.”

  “Don’t leave on my account,” Cady offered.

  “I’m afraid I have chores back at the ranch I better get to. If I skip out, I’ll have Brennan searching for me.” He took another few steps then looked down at his socked feet. “My boots. They’re upstairs. I’ll grab them and see my way out.”

  “Adam?” CC said.

  “I’ll see you later.”

  By the time he’d made it upstairs, dragged his boots on, his heart had started beating normal again. However, he didn’t make it halfway down the sidewalk before he remembered he didn’t have his truck. “Shit!” Although the three-mile walk wouldn’t kill him, he’d rather not. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and found that it was dead. Figures since he hadn’t charged it since early yesterday. The front door opened and CC stepped out onto the porch.

  “Where are you running to, cowboy?” Her soft twang made his heart flutter.

  He shrugged, feeling an ache in his shoulder. Sometimes he was reminded of the earlier days that he was thrown from a bronco more than once. “Getting out of your hair.”

  “How about I give you a lift to Grinning Spurs? I need to check on Sally anyway.”

  “I can call one of my brothers so you can visit with your sister.” He needed some time to clear his head.

  “She’s leaving soon. She got what she came for. Her nosiness is satisfied for the moment. I can only take so much of her mothering, so you’ll be doing me a favor by giving me an excuse. Stay there. I’ll be back in five flat.”

  Chapter 10

  “WELL?”

  CC didn’t even look at her sister as she grabbed a pair of jeans from the drawer and stepped into them, dragging them up her legs and hips. “Well what?”

  “Let’s not go through this. Rob told me that you and Adam are engaged.”

  “It was pretend.” CC reached for a shirt and pulled it on.

  “Good. There for a moment I thought—”

  “I did ask Adam to marry me.”

  Cady went pale. “You what?”

  “Come on, you heard me.” Checking herself in the mirror, CC didn’t bother with makeup.

  “So th
en it’s true?”

  “No. We’re not engaged because he hasn’t said yes.” CC faced Cady.

  “Why? You don’t know him.”

  “I want a child, Cady.” It was best just to be honest.

  “You’ll have one. Eventually.”

  “I hope so.” She ate up the distance between them, taking her sister’s hand in hers. “Sis, please. I’m thirty-four. I realize you see my sickness every time you look at me but open your eyes wider. I’m not dying, at least not today. I’m healthy. I’m okay. I’m smart and understand the risks I’m taking. What I need now is your understanding, compassion and support. Can’t I have one sliver of happiness in my lifetime?”

  A shaky smile spread over Cady’s face. “You know you’ll always have my support.” They hugged.

  CC pulled back. “Thank you. I’m sorry, but I have a sexy cowboy waiting for me downstairs. You can see yourself out, right?”

  “Yes. You better call me later.”

  “Will do,” CC answered as she descended the stairs. Adam was leaning against the passenger side of her truck, his ankles crossed and his hat pulled low, shading his eyes. When she approached, he looked at her, smiling.

  “That was fast.”

  “Leftover skill from my college days. Those eight o’clock classes always came too early.”

  Once they were on the road, she said to him, “Cady is amazing.”

  “Yes, she is.”

  “But she can also be a pain.” CC kept her gaze steady on the road.

  “She cares for you.”

  “That’s true.” She couldn’t just come out and ask if Cady had revealed anything. “I told her I asked you to marry me.”

  His chin turned up. “Yeah? I have a feeling that didn’t go over too well.”

  “Sometimes I have to keep her on her toes.”

  There was a long hesitation. “She said your ex told her that we are engaged.”

  “What did you tell her?” She glanced at his tight profile

  “Nothing.”

  “I shouldn’t have told him that we are engaged.”

  He scratched his jaw, scraping against his whiskers that sounded like sandpaper. The jolting feeling between her legs didn’t match her desire to remain cool. “It’s none of his business.”

  “True. He should keep his attention on the red head he was with last night.”

  “I bet he keeps his attention on every red head, brunette, blonde and, well, you get my drift.”

  She laughed. “I have a confession to make. I saw Betty follow you outside last night at the bar. Knowing her and her insatiable desire for cowboys I guess I figured she was introducing you to her tricks of the trade.”

  “Tricks of the trade?”

  “Ahh, she could just about have any man she sets her sights on.”

  “But not me, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “No…I wasn’t asking. It’s none of my business.” She nibbled at the corner of her mouth. “I wouldn’t blame you if you liked her. I get that she can be a bit…well, too much at times, but she’s okay.”

  “She seems nice—nice for some other guy.”

  “So, what is your type?”

  Did his jaw tighten? “I wouldn’t say I have a type.”

  “Ah, come on. Don’t all men have a type?”

  “Well, do all women have a type?” he replied smoothly.

  She should have known he wouldn’t make peeling back his layers easy. “I believe they do. And sometimes we have no clue what our type is until that person comes along.”

  “How about I say this, what I think you’re really asking is if a woman like Betty is my type. She’s sexy, I won’t lie, but she’s missing that spark…that thing that makes a man forget his last name. I’m sure she does it for a lot of men, but not me. You don’t fall into that category of women who believe a man only looks at a woman’s physical body and that’s all he wants, do you? I want someone who challenges me every single day to be the best that I can be.”

  “Rob would have jumped at a chance with Betty.”

  “Well, your ex is a dick. Point blank, but I don’t think you need me to mince words. You already know what his character flaws are because you left him- and what a wise decision that was.”

  “I’m not Rob’s cheerleader, but I’m getting the feeing you really don’t like the guy.”

  “I don’t like his type.”

  “And neither do I.”

  “What about you, CC? What kind of man makes you see stars?”

  “I like a man who knows when he needs to be gentle and understands when there’s a time to be tough. A solid mixture of kindness and bravery. Someone I can see myself sitting next to when we’re eighty, rocking on the front porch, holding hands.”

  “Have you heard of the poet Rumi? He wrote, “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along’.”

  Her breath stilled. “Adam, that’s beautiful.”

  As they pulled into Grinning Spurs, he said, “Those words have always stuck with me—Wait is that Brennan?”

  CC followed the narrow lane with her gaze. Sure enough, Brennan was standing along the edge of the grass waving at them. She slowed and stopped the truck as Adam rolled down the window. “What’s wrong?”

  By Brennan’s frazzled appearance something had happened. “Hey, I’ve been trying to call you both. It’s Sally.”

  Feeling her heart kick against her ribs, CC tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “Is it the calf?”

  “She’s been in labor all night. I stayed with her, watching, but this morning she’s no closer to birthing and she’s tired.”

  “I’ll pull over and grab my bag from the back.”

  Brennan stepped out of the way as she pulled over into the grass. Adam was out first and he waited for her at the front of the truck. Together they followed Brennan, who was still limping from his accident, into the barn. Sally’s distressed sounds echoed off the wooden walls. CC hurried to the back stall. New straw had been laid down. “When did she start showing signs?”

  “Last night. I didn’t think she seemed like herself, so I stayed out here to watch her. Around three this morning she was restless and kicking at her belly.” Brennan dragged off his hat and rubbed his forehead. Of all the brother’s he looked the youngest, and his wavy hair curled at his collar. CC liked Brennan even if he seemed a bit uptight at times.

  “I need to check on the progress. Brennan, I’ll need you to grab a bucket of warm water as well as the chains from the back of my truck just in case we need them. Adam, can you hold her head while I examine her?” She pulled on a pair of long gloves. Once Brennan hurried to do as she requested and Adam was at Sally’s head, she checked the cow. “Her cervix has fully dilated but the pressure of contractions must have constricted the birth canal. I can feel that the calf’s feet are upside down. We need to get him out before it’s too late, if it isn’t already.”

  “I have the chains,” Brennan said as he hooked them over the rail. “Water’s coming right up.”

  “I’ll need your strength,” she said to Adam. “Sally likes you. That’s obvious.” She grabbed another pair of gloves from her bag and handed them over. “Reach in and see if you can pull the calf out. The chains will only be used as a last resort.”

  After his gloves were in place, he did as CC urged him to do, following her direction, but it wasn’t working as CC feared would happen.

  “Switch me positions, Adam. You stay at her head.” She made quick work in attaching the chains using a half-hitch around the fetlock and another above the hoof for less risk of injuring the unborn calf that was already in distress.

  Brennan was back with the bucket. “Where do you want me?”

  “Here’s how we’re going to do this, fellows. Brennan take Adam’s spot and keep Sally as calm as possible. When she begins to contract, I’m going to stretch the vulva while Adam you pull the handles to the chains. Each time she contracts we pull. When she rests, we rest
too. We can’t force this because we don’t want to hurt the calf or rupture Sally’s uterus. The goal is to save her.”

  ****

  “How’s the leg?”

  Brennan patted his jeaned thigh. “Getting better at least. Glad to be out of the cast and only walking with a limp. Thankfully I don’t need surgery.”

  “Could have been a lot worse for sure,” Adam said.

  “CC did great work today,” Brennan looked up the lane where she’d left earlier.

  Glancing over at his brother as they walked up to the house, Adam nodded in agreement. “She always does.”

  “You should probably just say it, bro. You know, the elephant in the room and all.”

  Knowing this conversation needed to happen, Adam stopped walking and tucked his thumbs into his front pockets, looking into the distance where a rain cloud hovered. “Things like this can just happen—”

  Brennan had a rigid set to his jaw underneath a layer of whiskers. This could have gone two ways, and while Adam expected the worst, Brennan shrugged and said, “It’s okay. She’s a beautiful woman but not the one for me. Damn, what had I been thinking?”

  Kicking up a clot of dirt with the toe of his boot, Adam looked up into the sky where the rain clouds were moving in fast. A storm was brewing, and not just in the sky. He felt like at some point one of them would fuck up and this entire debacle would come back to punch them in the face. “I hate this position we’re in. How the fuck are we supposed to marry someone we barely know?” Brennan’s laughter caught Adam off guard. “You think this shit is funny? We’re down to the wire, man. It’s either get hitched or the others will never forgive us.”

  “Do I find this funny? Hell no, but what I’ve found is that since the moment we’ve arrived in Tarnation we’ve been dead set against this whole shitty stipulation and yet look at us. The five of us have grown closer, worked side by side, stepped out of our comfort zones. We’ve grown to love this ranch. Not one of us can deny that fact. There’s a magic about this place, like fate is at work and setting our internal GPS where we need to be. Take a look at Baxter for instance. He married Abriella and he seems pretty damn happy if you ask me. Ash has become a father and he’s getting married in a week. A week!” Brennan whistled through his teeth. “And how about Arc? He never would have found Alaska and River if we hadn’t come here. So, is it possible that a man can find happiness in six months? Less than? I would have said “no way is it possible” at the beginning of this fiasco but now, really, I’ve been witness to something that can’t be explained.” Brennan looked up at the sky as a raindrop fell. “I’ve decided maybe Buzz knew something we didn’t. It’s possible the old man didn’t do this to hurt us, but instead to make us appreciate life. When life is on the line we learn to live. How else can we explain it?”