Cowboy State of Mind (Tarnation, Texas Book 4)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  “I would have told you.”

  “So, you’re really married, huh?”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  Arc laughed. “CC’s a catch.” When Adam didn’t answer, Arc looked at him. “Right?”

  Feeling as if the buttons on the shirt became hot rocks, Adam shrugged. “It’s temporary. Just like you and Alaska, right?”

  The long hesitation spoke volumes. “I’m in love with her.”

  “Is she in love with you?”

  “I’d bet my life on it. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Now, do you love CC?”

  “I don’t know her that well.” He kept his gaze glued to the land, eating up the grass on the horse.

  That’s not what I asked, Bro. Do you love her?”

  “There are many things that I admire about her. I’ve never met anyone so damn hypnotic, amazing, charismatic, and smart. I never thought I’d meet a woman I’d want to be around twenty-four seven. I don’t know what it is, but she has my attention for sure.”

  Arc swiped a hand down his clean-shaven face. “Sounds like love. Smells like love. Must be love.”

  Adam wasn’t sold. “Lust can feel a lot like love too.”

  “True, but you know how to tell the difference? Imagine if you were paralyzed and you had no use of your body below the belt. Would you still want CC? Still crave her companionship and conversation? Don’t think about it just go for that first instinctive answer.”

  Something poignant lodged inside Adam’s chest. Yes…he’d want CC no matter what. He wanted her as his wife, not just for now, but forever. He wanted children with her, wanted to come home after a hard day’s work and share his bed with her. He wanted to always know that she was his. And he’d always be hers.

  “Exactly what I thought.” Arc set the horse into a gallop.

  Adam did the same, struggling with all his new emotions.

  When all four brothers walked into the house after they’d searched for Ash for hours, they found CC, Abriella, Alaska, Stella, and Roe Robins in the kitchen. Platters of food covered every inch of space, enough to feed an army for days.

  “Where’s Lexi?” Adam asked.

  “She left a while ago,” CC said. “Corbin is sleeping.”

  Abriella kissed Baxter. She looked concerned when she asked, “No luck at all finding Ash?”

  “Not a lick,” he said on a growl.

  “We had no idea what to tell Lexi. She asked, but we weren’t sure,” Alaska said from where she was placing chicken wings into plastic bags. “You boys hungry?”

  “Starving,” Brennan grabbed a paper plate, piled it high with food and dug in. When he realized everyone was staring, he shrugged. “What? Are we just going to let it go to waste?”

  Roe cleared his throat, his round face looking redder than usual. “Fellows, we should have a talk. In private.”

  Adam’s heart dropped into his boots. He met CC’s concerned gaze a fleeting second. In that moment they’d passed a silent message. She knew too that Ash disappearing could break the stipulations of Buzz’s will.

  The four brothers and Robins stepped into Buzz’s old office. It was a large, masculine space with wall-to-wall shelving, a massive desk and expensive leather furniture. Arc and Baxter took the couch, while Brennan took the chair to finish his plate of food. Adam stood by the fireplace while Robins sat down on the corner of the desk. He seemed full of restless energy. No one said a word for a good minute. Adam had only been in the room several times since they’d arrived in Tarnation. This was one place he felt his father, could imagine him sitting at the desk, making decisions. Buying more property. Building numbers in his bank accounts.

  Robins looked from each of the brothers then shook his head in regret. “You all know I hate to say this, but I’m sure you understand what Ash’s disappearance means.”

  Arc sat forward on the edge of his seat, his jaw hard, his hands clasped and knuckles white. “We don’t know yet if he’s left town. Hell, we don’t even know if he’s safe. I think this conversation is a bit premature, don’t you think?”

  The attorney shrugged making his suit jacket appear smaller on his bulky frame. “Maybe. Maybe not. We don’t have anything that says that he left, and we also have no reason to believe he’s still in Tarnation. When a man disappears the day of his wedding I’d say that’s reason enough to suggest he got as far away as possible.”

  “We should give him some time. Ash wouldn’t just up and leave.” Adam leaned his back on the mantle, crossing his arms over his chest. He didn’t know Robins enough to like or dislike him, but this conversation could be the deciding factor. “I’ll vouch for him. Whatever has happened that has kept him away it wasn’t by choice.”

  “I’ll second that,” Baxter said.

  “We’ll all vouch for him,” Brennan added.

  Robins looked from each of them again. Although the man seemed uptight, there was something that seemed different about him lately, although the concern couldn’t be denied in his expression. “I didn’t make the rules. I only see that they’re followed.”

  “Fucked-up rules,” Brennan snorted.

  Robins shifted on the desk looking mighty uncomfortable. “Maybe. But you all five agreed to abide by them. You each signed a contract. In fact, if I do say so myself, it seems you’ve all gotten pretty comfy with the rules. You can’t pick and choose when the rules apply and when they don’t.”

  “Hell, maybe you should just spit it out in plain talk.” Brennan dropped the uneaten chicken wing back onto the plate, eyeing the other man with a narrowed eye.

  “Marriage, my friends. It appears you all have swept some women off their feet.” He waved a hand. “I digress. As you all know there is a clause in the will that states clearly any of you Colts can’t be gone from Tarnation more than twenty-four hours. Considering we can’t pinpoint exactly when Ash left, I’ll give him twenty-four hours from right now to show himself before I void the contract.”

  “Is there also a clause in that will that protects us if something happened to him that he couldn’t make it back?” Adam asked.

  “No.” Robins stood and gave a dismal smile. “Listen, if I were in your shoes, I’d do everything in my power to find your brother. If you hear anything, let me know.” He left and shut the door quietly behind him.

  “I’m going to strangle him,” Arc snarled.

  “Who? Robins?”

  “No, Ash.”

  “What if he’s hurt?” Brennan asked.

  “We looked everywhere. He’s not in Tarnation,” Adam said.

  “Robins might believe that fact, but he doesn’t have the proof.” Baxter shook his head.

  “Or does he?”

  All eyes turned on Adam. He pushed away from the mantle and went to sit on the arm of the couch. “I have a feeling someone is watching us.”

  “Watching us?”

  Baxter laughed. “Watching as in stalking?”

  Brennan blew out a long breath. “I get what you’re saying. That Buzz wanted to keep tabs on us to make sure we followed his rules. How could Robins be expected to keep an eye on all five of us? He couldn’t so it makes sense that someone in this town is watching.”

  “Exactly,” Adam said.

  “Good point.” Arc stood and took Robins place on the corner of the desk. He pulled at the collar of his western shirt.

  “I guess it might have crossed my mind too. But I brushed it off because I made the pact to follow through.” Baxter’s jaw tightened.

  “That’d suck if Ash decided on his own to break a promise.” Brennan shrugged.

  “Before we start accusing Ash of breaking the pact or promise, let’s make sure we know what’s happened first.” Adam would protect his brother, any of his brothers, if needed. “We’re still in this together. Let’s remember that, okay?”

  “I don’t want to throw him under the bus,” Baxter added. “I just think it’s pretty damn pathetic that he’s gone and he didn’t think to tell one of us. Not even Lexi. Im
agine how she must feel about now.”

  Adam sighed, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. “I agree. All we can do now is wait and hope like hell he calls, texts, or shows up. I’m not sure how long we can keep Robins at bay, and if we have someone watching, we might have a lot of explaining to do.”

  “Who says we have to wait?” Brennan stood. “I say we get a couple PIs on the case and let them find Ash.”

  Adam looked over at Arc who had been mostly silent through this. “Arc? You’re quiet. What do you think?”

  He scratched his tight jaw. “I think we need to get into recovery mode and fast.”

  “Recovery mode?” Adam didn’t like the sound of that.

  “Ash isn’t in Tarnation.”

  “How do you know?” Baxter mumbled.

  “Because I’ve heard from him.”

  Chapter 16

  CC FELT ADAM close before she heard his light footsteps on the grass outside of the barn. Seconds later, she looked up and smiled as he came closer. “Were you trying to sneak up on me, Cowboy?”

  “No.” He looked tired and agitated.

  “Still no word from Ash?”

  He averted his gaze. “Nope. How’s the calf doing?”

  “He’s doing great. Getting stronger every minute. This is definitely a success story.” She stood and pulled off her gloves, dropping them in her bag. “I heard from Raina too. The puppies were seen by the local vet and they’re all healthy.”

  “Good.” He stuck his hands in his front pocket, back to being the distant Adam.

  “I’m sure Ash’s disappearance is bothering you.” She touched his arm, feeling him tense under her fingers.

  There were lines of concern etched around his eyes and it saddened her. She’d grown to care deeply for him and the last thing she wanted was to see him stressed. “I’m sure Ash has a good explanation.”

  “Any word on how Lexi’s doing?”

  “She’s taking it pretty hard from what Stella has told me. I can understand.”

  He took her hand and pulled her into his arms. Laying her cheek against his chest, she could have stayed right there forever. Over the last days they’d grown closer, although much of that time had been spent in the throes of passion. She couldn’t complain, not when she wanted to get pregnant. Yet, she realized, too, that she wanted more from Adam. Foolishly, she’d fallen in love with him. They’d agreed on a temporary marriage and suddenly she wanted forever. She wanted a normal—at least as normal as possible—marriage. Wanted him to come home from working the land, have dinner together, and go to their bed and make love.

  CC wanted to tell him about her disease. She wanted to assure him that she wasn’t sick and could be a good mother.

  What would he say? She trusted that he wouldn’t change his mind about having a baby.

  When things calmed down, she’d have to speak to him about her feelings and her health. He deserved to know the truth about everything. Now was definitely not the time when he was upset over his brother. “I’m sure you’ll want to stick around here tonight in case he shows up or calls.”

  “I think that would be best.”

  Her cell rang from her jacket pocket and she brought it out, seeing Sherriff Bash’s name on the ID. “I need to get this.” She answered, “Hello? Oh no. What happened? No. I can be there in a few minutes. Okay.” She clicked off, feeling her heart drop into her knees.

  “Is everything okay?” Adam was beside her.

  She looked up into Adam’s concerned expression and her vision blurred with unshed tears. “That was the sheriff. He-he...my clinic burnt down.”

  CC gulped back her torn emotions. She watched from a safe distance as the last embers of the fire that had destroyed her business were being extinguished by the firefighters. She and Adam had arrived to find the flames ravishing what was left of the offices. What had seemed like hours had actually only been minutes before everything transformed into hot ashes. Her tears had dried, thankful no one, no animals, had been hurt. She had insurance and everything would be rebuilt in time, but a sadness stemmed from knowing she wouldn’t be able to see the number of animals she’d been seeing without a proper exam room.

  Sandy, who arrived right after CC, was a few feet away, shocked at what she was witnessing.

  Adam, who hadn’t left CC’s side, laid his hand on the small of her back, both in support and probably closely monitoring to make sure she didn’t collapse. “You okay?”

  She nodded. “It hurts to see this, but no one and no animals were hurt. That’s what matters.”

  Sheriff Bash strolled over, sweeping off his Stetson and pressing it against his chest. “I’m sorry, CC. I know this is a lot to absorb.” She and the sheriff had known each other since school, back when he was a freckle-faced boy who tried to kiss her on the playground. Not only did she think of him as a good friend, but she respected him as being fair and knowledgeable. She met his gaze and gave him the best smile she could muster.

  “Thank you for calling me, Sheriff.” Her arms were tight around her waistline. She felt her stomach rumble.

  “The fire will be under investigation, but the Captain said he found some signs of tampering.”

  “Tampering?”

  “He believes just from what he sees now that the fire was set from an outside source. Of course, this is only preliminary, and a thorough investigation needs to take place.”

  “You think someone started the fire on purpose? Why?” She dropped her hands to her sides and tried wrapping her brain around his claim.

  “Don’t know. Like I said, we don’t have every detail yet, but I want to ask you some questions to help in the investigation.”

  “Sure.” CC felt Adam’s arm tighten around her waist. He didn’t seem to care that they were surrounded by people who would witness his affection toward her. This pleased her, knowing he would be there for her.

  “I know you have a security camera, but it was destroyed. Looks like someone threw a rock and busted the lens. Have you had any trouble with anyone lately? Any unreported cases of vandalism?”

  She shook her head. “No.” She placed her hand against her throat, feeling a constricting feeling. “I can’t think of anyone who’d want to do this.”

  “Everyone in town respects and likes you, CC. I can’t think of anyone, myself, who’d want to do this, but if you can think of anything that would be useful—”

  “Wait, I might know something, although I don’t know how it would help,” Sandy said.

  “What is it?” CC asked her assistant.

  “Rob. I think it’s important to tell Sheriff Bash about the incident.”

  “I don’t think it is important.” The smoke had made CC’s throat sore and her voice raspy when she spoke.

  “Rob came to visit you?” Adam’s gaze narrowed.

  “What happened, CC?” Sheriff Bash asked.

  “The other day, he came by. He was drunk and upset. I had completely forgotten about it until now. He seemed…well, not himself, but not dangerous.”

  “What do you mean upset?” Sheriff Bash jotted the notes in his notebook.

  She tried to remember the incident in more clarity through her tired brain. “He didn’t like it that…” She looked up at Adam for a split second before continuing, “Adam and I were engaged.”

  If Sheriff Bash was taken back in any way, he didn’t show it. He concentrated on his notes. “Did he make any threats?”

  “No, not any threats. He was only drunk and sad. He thought we had a chance to get back together.”

  Feeling Adam shift, she looked up at him again, seeing the agitation carving lines in his features. There was no love lost between the two men.

  “The man’s an asshole, Sheriff. If you ask me, he’s more than capable of being the firestarter.”

  “So you’ve met Rob?” Sheriff Bash asked.

  “Unfortunately,” Adam growled.

  “What do you think, CC? Is it a possibility?”

  Looking
at the sheriff, CC hesitated. “I don’t think—”

  “CC, tell them about the bruise,” Sandy encouraged.

  “I need to know everything,” Sheriff Bash urged.

  “He grabbed my arm, not to hurt me. He just wanted my attention. He didn’t stay long, and he made no threats to hurt me or burn the building. I don’t know why it even matters.”

  “It does matter.” Adam shook his head, his teeth gritted.

  Sheriff Bash scratched his temple. “That’s important information. I’ll definitely speak with him soon. I should ask, CC, have you spoken to him since?”

  “No.”

  “Well, if you remember anything else, just let me know.” Sheriff Bash bid them all good night.

  “I’m sorry, but I thought it was important,” Sandy said.

  “It’s okay. I understand your concern. Why don’t you go home and get some sleep? I’ll stay a while longer,” CC told the other woman.

  With a disappointed nod, Sandy gave CC a hug and then left.

  Once she was alone with Adam, she felt his grave stare on her profile.

  “Why didn’t you tell me he stopped by?” Adam muttered.

  “I didn’t think too much about it.” She shrugged.

  “We’re married.”

  “We weren’t at the time, but it’s not like we’re acting like a normal couple, Adam,” she whispered.

  “Like a normal couple? I thought we were doing pretty damn well.” His lips thinned.

  “That’s not what I mean and you know it. I’m only saying that we haven’t had too many conversations since the ceremony. And besides that, you shouldn’t make out to Sheriff Bash that Rob is guilty. That’s unfair.”

  “Sandy seemed pretty convinced too. The guy is a creep.”

  “Yeah, he might be a lot of things but an arsonist? Seriously? I know Rob, and although he can be a jerk and a player, he isn’t one to burn down buildings because he has his feelings hurt.”

  “I beg to differ. He’s a psycho. Any man who’d grab a woman—”

  “Adam! Let’s not put more into this than there needs to be. Yes, he grabbed me and left a bruise, but it wasn’t his intention. Rob is in the past.”