Miss Alice Lovelady's Second Omnibus of her Inexplicable Adventures

by Sadie Swift

  They commenced quickly speaking what I took to be Egyptian between themselves, which I had no chance of understanding, all the while indicating my dirty, messy hair. With a last look Hasina sped out after the old lady. Did this mean my bath would be cancelled?

  “What is going on?” I asked Shemei.

  It looked like she thought she’d drawn the short straw by being left here with me. I tried again. “Is there a problem?”

  “Your hair?”

  “Yes?”

  Her worried eyes kept flicking between the direction the old lady and Hasina took and myself in case I did something strange. “We’ve never seen–” She stopped and corrected herself, “We’ve only seen it one place before.”

  “Oh?” I suppose it was a bit of a rarity, but maybe it would catch on. “I know it’s a tad dirty–”

  She gave a little gasp of relief as her colleague came back into the room and then started speaking quick Egyptian to her. Both of them fell silent and turned to watch as Badru’s mother came back in.

  I saw her eyes widen at the sight of my hair. At this point I was getting rather self-conscious about it. She fired some quick Egyptian at the ladies and they seemed to sheepishly reply to her. Was I ever going to get my bath?

  Slowly, almost reverentially she walked towards me. “May I?” she asked indicating my hair.

  “Look, I know it’s dirty. You really don’t have to. I’m quite capable of washing it myself.”

  Without more ado she reached up and I felt a gentle tug on my hair. And then a harder one.

  “Ow!”

  “It is real?” she asked.

  “Yes, of course.”

  Before I know what was happening she fell to her knees and bowed her head to the ground in front of me. What the devil was going on? Was she injured in some way?

  Following in quick succession Hasina and Shemei followed her lead. I stood dumbfounded at the sight.

  “Um… This really isn’t necessary you know? Please do get up.”

  They stayed in position. The bath did look awfully inviting, so I decided that if they weren’t going to help me get undressed then I was certainly capable of the feat myself. I started unbuttoning my dress and headed to the fragrantly inviting water. Behind me, at ground level, was some quickly whispered Egyptian.

  From the corner of my eye I saw the two servants get up and then help Badru’s mother to her feet. With my dress looser I sat on the marble steps leading up to the bath and began unlacing my travelling boots.

  Shemei came over and knelt down in front of me. Silently she began unlacing the other boot. To one side Badru’s mother was whispering intently to Hasina. Hopefully it was to do with laundering my clothes.

  With my boots off and my dress looser thanks to Shemei’s help I shrugged it off, standing in my undergarments, mercifully sans the corset and some layers.

  I had no clue what was going on with them and my hair but I was determined to wash whatever grime was on it away.

  With my last few items of apparel lying on the marble steps I melted into the warm fragrant bath and slid under the surface to clean my hair. Rising up for air I opened my eyes and quite to my astonishment saw both Shemei and Hasina quickly disrobe and then slide in either side of me. Not quite sure of the correct etiquette I stayed silent hoping for a clue as to what I should do.

  Hasina’s eyes flicked to Shemei’s and she quietly said, “It would be an honour for us to welcome you into the house by completing your bath.” She then added something at the end that I couldn’t understand. Some honorific or something? I didn’t know. I’m not sure I cared too much either, especially after having two such delightful ladies take such an interest in making sure I was utterly satisfied with my bath.

  I didn’t bite. Too much.

  Six

  Word of my hair had apparently spread around the house as on the way to the main dining room to rejoin Sir Percival I kept noticing glances from alcoves and behind doors. If I weren’t quite so relaxed I’m sure I’d be concerned about it.

  The internal gloom seemed to have lifted from me and I was in far higher spirits concerning our Egyptian visit. Truthfully I’d thought about what Katherine would say about the bath I’d had and decided she’d just laugh about it, and probably hope I’d learnt a few things to try out with her, if my strange vision involving her was to be believed.

  The loose white dress I’d been given to wear and jewelled sandals felt deliciously exotic and was far nicer in this climate than my usual travelling dress. Shemei had even put some sort of jewelled chain device in my hair. I loved it as soon as I saw myself in a mirror.

  Sir Percival was out of his khaki-coloured jacket and in his shirt sleeves sitting on a cushion facing Badru over a chess set on a low table. I detected the faint smell of damp dog. Apparently he’d not been offered a welcoming bath, or taken one up if he had. I felt it prudent to sit downwind of him.

  “Miss Lovelady,” Sir Percival nodded in greeting.

  “Sir Percival, Badru,” I nodded in reply.

  “So it is true,” Badru said when I’d comfortably seated myself.

  “The hair thing?”

  He nodded.

  “I’m rather partial to it. It does though seem to have caused quite a stir. Is there a story concerning it?”

  “Merely old wives tales,” he offhandedly said, returning his concentration to the board, but I got the distinct impression he was feigning ignorance of some sort.

  Well I knew just the old wife to question about it.

  A metallic echo filled the room and Badru said, “Dinner is ready. Shall we save the game until afterwards, Sir Percival?”

  “Indeed.”

  Badru’s mother, still in black, came in and clapped her hands. Almost immediately servants carrying metal trays followed. Badru stood up and carefully lifted the chessboard and took it to a table at the side of the room to give space for the serving dishes. “As is the custom we’ve engaged some local performers to entertain our guests.”

  “Delightful,” Sir Percival said. He was probably hoping to see some bare-chested Aladdin-types.

  Badru’s mother sat on the cushion to my right, and Hasina and Shemei sat either side of me and began offering me interestingly-spiced food from the dishes. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this, and caught Sir Percival’s startled glance in my direction. I hid a smile as he looked hopefully towards the male servants in case they’d do the same for him, but they ignored his silent plea.

  The entertainment turned out to be several men with flutes and drums and a female dancer who whirled around and then did strange things with her stomach in time to the wailing noises and unusual drumbeat. According to the applause they were quite the bee’s knees, although I couldn’t see them topping the bill at the Adelphi. They bowed towards us at the end of their session and were ushered out

  A huge yawn made its move on me and I managed to hide it behind my hand hopefully before any offence was caused. This exotic travel seemed to be rather tiring (not to mention the recent bathing activity).

  I cleared my throat and said to Badru, “Would you be too offended if I called it a night?”

  “No, no, Miss Lovelady, I am fully aware of the strains on the body travel takes.”

  At a glance from Badru’s mother, Hasina and Shemei lithely stood up and helped me to my feet.

  “Good night, Sir Percival.”

  “Miss Lovelady,” he replied, hiding his disappointment at such personal service by eyeing the chess set.

  Gas lamps had been lit as the day had somehow morphed into night without me noticing. With the two servants either side of me I was led through the house and through a wooden door. A gorgeously decorated wooden bed lay before me with mirrors on the walls and the ubiquitous low furniture around the room. My eyelids felt like lead weights and I could only manage to open them momentarily to see what was going on. I stumbled and luckily one of the girls held me up (I’m not sure which one). I felt my dress being expertly removed
from me and another, looser item of clothing pulled down over my head. Another glance told me the covers had been pulled back and then I fell into what felt like a cloud.

  Seven

  My dreams were filled with strange misshapen creatures and the Egyptian language I’d heard the servants and Badru’s mother use. Lots of chanting seemed to be going on in a very large flickering torch-lit room. One of the funny things I noticed was that there were an awful lot of females in attendance, and it seemed that they were worshipping me. I couldn’t see any men. I also felt something on my head and partially covering my eyes, like a head-dress or something.

  Then the strange dream-distortion cleared and I saw a creature with a human body but a dog-like head standing before me. Its eyes glared hatred and its fangs were bared. I sat in a throne-type chair and only felt mild annoyance at its presence. Then it came to me – this was the figure I’d seen in the dust cloud! What was it?

  It ran at me swinging its arm and I heard lots of screams, then I fell upwards.

  I jerked awake in the bed, sweat sticking the cotton sheets to my body.

  Eight

  I found I’d somehow fallen back to sleep and woke to see sunlight lighting up my room. The dream stayed with me and I felt I should make some enquiries about it. What was the dog-headed being that I’d now seen twice? My first port of call though was the bathroom. The covers seemed rather heavy and I forced myself to lift them up and roll over and out of the bed. Luckily it was low to the ground or I’d probably damage something on the rug-covered marble floor.

  Using the bed for balance I lifted myself up and found I wore a delightful red silk nightgown. I wondered if they’d let me take in back to Britain with me?

  I recognised the bedroom door and looking round saw another one to the side. I sincerely hoped it led to the bathroom as whatever it was Hasina and Shemei had fed me last night was making its presence felt.

  Luckily it was and I breathed a sigh of relief at the European-style plumbing.

  When I got back into the bedroom the two servant girls were waiting for me.

  I smiled at them, “Hello, thank you for making sure I got into bed last night.”

  They mumbled something along the lines of ‘you’re welcome’.

  I got the distinct impression that they didn’t seem to want to meet my eyes. Perhaps I’d better not request another bath then? Oh well, their loss.

  But there was something I wanted to know about. “Tell me about my hair,” I directed at Shemei.

  She gave a scared look to her colleague and clammed up. Well, I wasn’t above mucking about if I wanted something, so I sat on the bed and crossed my legs (feeling the delightful silk gown caress my skin).

  I looked at the two of them and raised my eyebrows questioningly. As I guessed it would, a flurry of quick Egyptian passed between the two.

  Hasina nervously swallowed and said, “We’re here to help you get dressed, Miss.”

  I stayed sitting down and coyly played with my pink hair while looking at them. Another burst of Egyptian and meaningful looks ensued.

  Apparently it was Shemei’s turn to plead as she turned to me, dropped to her knees and prostrated herself arms flat on the floor towards me. I sat still as a statue, shocked to my core.

  “Please, Miss, don’t ask us,” Hasina said, tears threatening to fall from her kohl-rimmed eyes.

  No, I couldn’t do this to them. I needed to head further up the chain of command.

  I relented and after a quick wash to remove last night’s sweat, let them dress me in another of the cool white dresses. Shemei placed another decorative headpiece on my hair.

  Badru’s mother though was in for some tough questions when I next saw her.

  Nine

  Unfortunately the lady in black was nowhere to be seen in the dining room at breakfast. Sir Percival arrived, thankfully in a different outfit, and additionally thankfully I detected the scent of soap about his person.

  The low table was set for breakfast with sliced fruits and juices ready to be consumed. I was rather pleased to see that Badru had imported the habit of tea.

  Once again Shemei and Hasina sat either side of me to serve me (which I could quite happily get used to, although I doubt Mrs Miggins would be appreciative of such a request). Sir Percival gave Badru some meaningful glances at this activity in the hope that some male servant would do the same for him, but his school-hood chum feigned not to notice and seemed to treat it as something quite normal, giving a polite, “Miss Lovelady.”

  “Your mother not joining us?”

  He flashed a gold-toothed smile, “No she is… unwell.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can help with?”

  “Er, no. Thank you for your concern.”

  Clearing his throat in a slightly aggrieved tone at the personal service I’d received Sir Percival said, “Badru had offered to take us around some of the historic sights today.”

  “Splendid, I’d be most interested in visiting… Er, what was it, Sir Percival?”

  “The Pyramids?”

  “No, that other thing?”

  “The Sphinx?”

  “Yes. I’d be most interested in seeing it up close.”

  Badru choked on some tea and one of the servants came to his aid.

  “Are you quite alright, old chum?” Sir Percival enquired.

  After a few smaller coughs and a heavy-handed slap on his back, Badru managed to squeak a, “Fine, thank you!”

  I then noticed that Shemei and Hasina had frozen into place either side of me.

  To say that I felt there was something going on was like saying that aetheric experimentation was a damned dangerous job. Even for a girl like me.

  Curious, I turned to raise a querying eyebrow at the delightful dark eyes of Shemei. “Will you be accompanying us?” I asked, to break the awkward silence.

  Her eyes flicked to Hasina’s (as I surmised they would – they seemed to like doing things together, which gave some delightful aspects to yesterday’s bath).

  Hasina’s eyes flicked to Badru, “Er, if our master wishes.”

  Quite some silent communication went on at that I can tell you, seemingly straight over Sir Percival’s head as he was happily munching on a banana at the time.

  Apparently the outcome was that, yes, they’d be allowed to accompany me. With everyone making such a to-do about it it just made a curious girl like myself doubly determined to visit it.

  Why on earth was it of such import?

  Ten

  Camels again. I suppose I should have guessed. I think I was given the same one, at least I believe it had the same smell.

  I declined the offer of a far nicer looking parasol to keep the sun from me – I wasn’t going anywhere without my trusty umbrella. I knew it wasn’t the same one that prevented me falling to my death from a certain (un-named) airship, but I somehow felt safer with one of the similar type by my side. Or, in this case, over my head keeping the suns burning rays from me.

  This time our camel train was longer, with a male servant for Badru and Sir Percival, and both Shemei and Hasina accompanying myself. The gates were opened and I felt the dry air outside try to suck all the moisture from me.

  We headed as straight as the roads and alleyways of Cairo permitted to the Pyramids. At times they were like two vast weights pressing down onto the ground, seeming to deform the earth and making our travel towards them easier.

  Slowly the strange sight of the Sphinx came into view. I could now make out the lion-part of its body. We rode between the pyramids seeing the massive stone blocks in their construction. The distance between Shemei’s camel and that of the male servant in front of her slowly lengthened until we lost sight of him. As soon as that happened Shemei turned back to me and grabbed my camel’s reins.

  “What is going on?” I queried, but she shook her head.

  Glancing back I saw Hasina look around us and with a nod to her compatriot we took a different route.
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  “We wish to show you the image,” Shemei quietly replied.

  “Image of what?”

  “Your hair.”

  My hair? What the devil was going on now about my hair? The cloak and dagger style was getting to me and I wondered if I should refuse and ride back to stay with the others. But surely Badru and the servant already knew about this?

  Before I could act I was startled to see a shadow seem to detach itself from the side of the pyramid and resolve itself into Badru’s mother. If she was here then it had to be safe. She came up to my camel and took the reins from Shemei, saying something similar to what I thought was a honorific to me in the process. So she wasn’t unwell. Curiouser and curiouser.

  Eleven

  We headed down alongside the pyramid, towards the Nile. All three of my secretive companions continually looked around us; for what was a mystery. Was there danger involved in this outing?

  Shemei rode up to me and handed me a sand-coloured robe, “Please put it on, and close the umbrella,” she said, not forgetting the honorific at the end.

  I did as told, noticing the cloth was the same colour as the huge sandstone blocks we rode past.

  A human shape wearing another sand-coloured hooded robe emerged from between two of the massive stone blocks. Badru’s mother went up to them and had a whispered conversation for a few moments, with the result that she gave quick hand gestures to Shemei and Hasina. On cue they slid off their camels and came over to help me down from mine. The hooded shape took her own robe off and handed it to Badru’s mother who quickly put it on, covering her normal black clothes. The figure turned out to be another dark-haired lady who looked slightly older than Shemei and Hasina. She took the reins from all three camels, seemingly to bow slightly before taking mine, then moved a short way away from the pyramid as if to shield us from sight.