Death of a Suitor

by Elizabeth Spann Craig

  Myrtle gave a snort and Red frowned at her. “You have a comment about that, Mama?”

  “I do. Miles, who is always the perfect gentleman, ended the relationship. Eloise apparently had no clue how to behave as an ex-girlfriend, so she continued chasing Miles. It was quite ridiculous and appalling. I was going to report her for stalking Miles at one point.”

  Wanda piped up in her grating voice. “She was tryin’ to win him back.”

  Miles looked miserably down at his hands.

  Red said politely, “Well, Miles is quite a catch. So is that what was going on earlier tonight, then? Eloise came over to your house and tried to talk you into continuing your relationship?”

  Miles nodded. “I’d actually already turned in for the night and heard my doorbell ring, which woke me up. And it was a bit startling, too.”

  Red quirked an eyebrow. “Is it? I was under the impression that my mother frequently goes over to your house at odd hours and rings your doorbell. Didn’t you just assume it was her?”

  Miles said, “Myrtle usually knocks. And, most of the time, she does look to see if there’s a light on or not. Most of the time.”

  Myrtle blushed. Sometimes she forgot. Or sometimes it didn’t really seem all that important for Miles to be awake because she had something important on her mind.

  “I do usually knock,” she said simply.

  Red gave her a skeptical look. “Okay. So your doorbell rang, Miles, and you woke up and felt startled. You proceeded to answer the door and you saw Eloise there. I’m guessing you weren’t too delighted to see her.”

  Myrtle said, “Not upset enough to drown her in the lake, though.”

  Miles paled a little, whether at the mention of a dead Eloise or at the idea of him drowning someone, it wasn’t entirely clear.

  “No one has mentioned anything about Eloise being drowned in the lake,” said Red severely.

  “We’re not stupid, Red,” said Myrtle regally. “And there’s something you should know about Eloise’s swimming ability. Or lack of it.”

  She looked at Miles and he said, “Eloise couldn’t swim. It was something she was embarrassed about so she didn’t tell anyone.”

  Red rubbed the side of his head as if something was throbbing there. “All right. Good to know, although it’s too bad that just the two of you know that little fact. Now, you were upset with Eloise, Miles. And that’s completely understandable. It must be very frustrating to politely end a relationship with someone only to have them constantly trying to reignite something.”

  Myrtle snorted again. “I don’t think the ‘relationship’ was ignited to begin with. The problem was with Eloise. She was being unreasonable and pushy and needed to leave Miles alone.”

  Red looked very tired. “This leads me to something else I needed to bring up. Mama, I saw you have a run-in with Eloise at Jax’s service.”

  “Well, naturally. If you’d been doing your job at all, you’d have noticed that. I wasn’t trying to be subtle because Eloise was the type of person who was completely immune to subtlety. Pasha couldn’t stand her,” said Myrtle as if that settled everything.

  Red closed his eyes briefly. “Okay. What did you say to Eloise?”

  “What do you think? I said I could make her life very difficult for her if she didn’t leave Miles alone.”

  Miles shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

  Wanda said, “She didn’t have nuthin’ to do with this.”

  Red said, “Oh, that I know. Mama is a rascal, but she doesn’t go drown folks.”

  Miles turned slightly green and Red said, “Sorry, Miles.”

  “More sherry?” asked Myrtle.

  Miles shook his head.

  Red continued, “You see my dilemma though, don’t you? Both of y’all had words with Eloise. Mama, you directly threatened her. And now she’s gone. It’s not a very good situation to be in. I need you both to think very carefully about your involvement in this case and make sure you back off. The last thing you need is to be hauled in officially for questioning by the state police.”

  Myrtle said coldly, “Lieutenant Perkins has entirely too much sense to do such a thing. And now, Red, if you’re done upsetting us, we have a game of canasta to play.”

  Red stood up. “Just remember what I said.” With that stern advice, he took his leave.

  Miles said, “Well, that officially stressed me out.”

  Wanda croaked, “You’ll be okay.”

  Miles gave her a hopeful look as if he wasn’t entirely prepared to believe her, but very much wanted to.

  Myrtle got up and briskly moved to the kitchen. “Let’s just bring the sherry bottle out here in the living room.”

  Miles said glumly, “I doubt that will help with my canasta-playing skills.”

  Wanda turned Myrtle down for alcohol, but Miles did take a bit more of the sherry, although it wasn’t his favorite beverage to imbibe. Myrtle poured herself a very tiny glass and took a delicate sip of it.

  “What are we going to do?” asked Miles.

  “Do?” asked Myrtle. “We’re going to clear our names and solve this case.”

  Now Miles looked rather panicky. “Myrtle, we were just told to back off and not have anything to do with this case. So . . . I think we should back off and not have anything to do with this case.”

  Myrtle snorted. “No, we should do precisely the opposite. Do you want to leave our fates up to Red? Absolutely not. Tomorrow we start digging to find out who killed Eloise. I guarantee you that whoever did also killed Jax and is trying to cover their tracks.” She turned to Wanda. “Wanda, do you have any thoughts about this case?”

  Wanda said sadly, “Not real clear thoughts. Something about Sherry.”

  Myrtle’s gaze dropped to the glasses in front of them. “Sherry?”

  Wanda shook her head. “Not that kind of sherry. A person.”

  Myrtle and Miles looked at each other. “Sherry, our neighbor,” said Myrtle. “Although how she figures in is anybody’s guess. Did she even really know Jax or Eloise?”

  Miles said, “Sherry definitely knows Eloise. They went to the movies together from time to time. I was always glad that Sherry wanted to go out when I didn’t want to.”

  “Well, it sounds like we’ll have to add Sherry to our list of people to talk to.”

  “An’ tea.”

  “Tea. Interesting. Tea has already figured into this investigation. I shall have to mull on that.” Then Myrtle gave Miles a critical look. “You still look sort of peaked, Miles. Go ahead and play canasta with Wanda—it will be good for you.”

  So while Miles and Wanda played cards, Myrtle made a list of names and little notes beside each one. She listed all the suspects and ranked them.

  After Miles and Wanda were done and Wanda declared the winner, Myrtle said, “All right, I think I have a plan to execute.”

  Miles winced. “Let’s not use the word execute right now.”

  “Fine. I have a plan of action for us starting tomorrow. We’ll go around and see as many suspects as we possibly can as soon as we can squeeze them in. So, to recap, that’s Bailey Pratt and his wife Marigold; Allen West, formerly with the theater; and Jax’s daughter Nicole.”

  “And me,” said Miles glumly.

  Myrtle rolled her eyes. “Snap out of it, Miles. If you’re on that list, then I’d have to be too since I was harassing Eloise at Jax’s service. We’re going to speak with these folks and then we’re going to put all the pieces together. We don’t have any time to spare.”

  Miles looked alarmed. “We’re not going out to speak with anyone now, are we? It’s nearly three o’clock in the morning. They’ll be calling the police on us.”

  “No. Now we’re going to go to sleep to prepare for our big day today. Wanda, you can take my guest room.”

  Miles left and Myrtle locked the door behind him then brought Wanda a new toothbrush and an extra blanket. Then, finally, Myrtle turned in and fell right to sleep . . . a most unusual occurrence
.

  Chapter Twelve

  WHEN SHE WOKE UP LATER, it was to the sound of thunder cracking overhead. Myrtle groaned. Apparently, the weather hadn’t gotten the memo that they were going to be out and about a lot today.

  Wanda was still sleeping, so Myrtle tried to be quiet as she got ready. She pulled out her big umbrella to get the paper at the end of her driveway since it was now raining buckets. Lightning flashed overhead as she returned with the paper and she jumped as something brushed against her leg.

  “Pasha! Oh, poor baby. Here, come inside.”

  Pasha eagerly followed her in. Pasha, as a feral cat, was accustomed to all sorts of weather, but this was some of the worst. At least the cat was good about letting Myrtle know when she wanted to be indoors for a while.

  Myrtle dug out an old towel and carefully wiped Pasha down. Then she got her a can of cat food, which Pasha quickly devoured. As Myrtle solved the daily crossword, Pasha sat in the window watching the storm outside with interest.

  A particularly loud clap of thunder made both Myrtle and Pasha jump and even woke the deep-sleeping Wanda from her slumbers. Wanda wandered sleepily out of the guest room and Pasha bounded happily over to see her. It was unusual for Pasha to take to people, but Wanda and the black cat always got along perfectly.

  Myrtle beamed at Wanda and Pasha and said, “I’ll make us some breakfast.”

  Wanda shook her head though. “Nope. I’ll make us breakfast. You just do yer puzzle.”

  Myrtle remembered that, once before, Wanda had cooked a marvelous and extravagant breakfast for her. “Thank you, Wanda,” she said instead.

  Wanda was very adept in the kitchen. She made eggs and bacon, cheese grits and toast with jam.

  “Wanda, this is fabulous,” said Myrtle after taking a big bite.

  Wanda gave her a shy smile.

  After breakfast, Myrtle called Miles. “Ready to unmask the murderer?”

  “I wasn’t aware it was a masked bandit,” said Miles. “And no, I’m still not entirely sure this is a good idea. It makes me look like I’m in more trouble than I am.”

  Myrtle said, “As far as we know, we’re both in a lot of trouble. You and I both had words with Eloise, witnessed by others. We’ve got to get to the bottom of this now.”

  Wanda croaked from behind her, “I can go with you, Myrtle.”

  Miles heard her over the phone and eagerly said, “Yes, Wanda’s a better fit for today.”

  Myrtle tapped her foot impatiently. It was so aggravating when Miles was difficult. Ordinarily, he was happy to cooperate.

  “Okay, here’s the plan. Wanda will go with me to see our first interviewees of the day, Bailey and Marigold. That will give you some time to mope around the house, Miles, which is apparently what you’re wanting to do. Have some coffee, watch some mindless TV, then you can come with me to talk to the next of our suspects.”

  Miles sighed. “I suppose so.”

  “Good. I’ll call you in a little while.” Myrtle hung up the phone and clicked her tongue in annoyance.

  Wanda drawled, “He’s just worried. Prob’ly upset his tummy.”

  “Oh, I’d forgotten what happens with his stomach when he’s stressed. Yes, you’re probably right. Well then, it’s just as well that he’s not with us right now.”

  Wanda gave Myrtle a thoughtful look. “How’re you gonna git in to see them people?”

  “You mean Bailey and Marigold? I’ll just tell them we were walking by and I wanted a glass of water. When you’re my age, people just let you in their house. They don’t want anyone to expire on their front step.”

  “And me?” asked Wanda.

  Myrtle made a dismissive gesture with her hand. “Everyone is fascinated by you, Wanda. They’ll want you to read their palms and tell them what’s coming down the line for them.”

  Wanda looked grim. “Sometimes what’s comin’ down the line ain’t good. Then they get upset.”

  “I would imagine that would be quite the occupational hazard. Let’s just see how it goes.”

  As it happened, Bailey and Marigold’s house was a fair distance from Myrtle’s house on Magnolia Lane. By the time she reached it, she was indeed thirsty and Wanda was, too.

  Myrtle walked right up to their front door and tapped loudly. Then she stood back, leaning heavily on her cane and looking as frail as a tall, large-boned lady was able to look.

  The door opened and Bailey stood there, looking rather startled at the sudden appearance of an octogenarian and a psychic on his front porch.

  “Miss Myrtle!” he said with concern. “Is something wrong?”

  Myrtle gave him a weak smile and said faintly, “I’m rather parched, Bailey. Wanda and I were taking a stroll and I suddenly felt as if I were having a spell.”

  Bailey’s already wide eyes opened even wider. He appeared to have no idea what a spell might encompass, but he was positive he didn’t want Myrtle to have one outside his front door. “Here, come inside,” he said, ushering Myrtle in. Wanda lingered uncomfortably in the back and he prompted, “And you, too, uh . . . Wanda.”

  Bailey gestured to chairs in the living room and hurried off to get the water. Myrtle looked around them. The living room was quite grand with a collection of fine antiques and paintings. Myrtle sat up a little straighter than usual.

  “Nice place,” grated Wanda.

  “Yes indeed,” said Myrtle. Then she added in a hushed tone, “But not very comfortable, is it?”

  Wanda shook her head in agreement.

  Bailey returned with the ice waters for both Myrtle and Wanda and they took a couple of big gulps.

  Myrtle gave him a smile. “You’re a lifesaver.”

  Bailey became flustered. “I’m not sure about that, Miss Myrtle. Do I need to call an ambulance? You mentioned having a spell.”

  “Oh no, no. I’m just fine now. I suppose I must have gotten dehydrated. Dehydration does terrible things to a body.”

  Bailey glanced at his watch. “Marigold should be coming back any minute now. I’m about to have to go run to a meeting for my work.”

  Myrtle gave him an innocent, feeble look. “Should Wanda and I go then?”

  “I don’t really think that’s a good idea, Miss Myrtle. You’re only just now getting your color back.”

  Myrtle was surprised to hear that she had lost or gained color. Her coloring always seemed rather status quo to her.

  Bailey continued, “I think you should stay here after Marigold comes in, just to be sure. Then she can drive you back home.” He hesitated. “I suppose I can talk for a few minutes before I have to leave. I don’t want to be a bad host.”

  Myrtle said, “Well, that would be lovely. I’d like a little mini-visit, wouldn’t you, Wanda?”

  Wanda silently nodded.

  Bailey cleared his throat. “All right then. Let’s see.” He seemed to be searching his mind for some sort of topic that would be suitable for his unusual visitors. He finally seized on: “What’s new with you?”

  Little did Bailey realize the can of worms he was opening up. Myrtle beamed at him. “Actually, I had quite a night last night. Wouldn’t you agree, Wanda?”

  Wanda croaked, “It was somethin’ else.”

  Bailey gave them a polite smile in return. “Really? What was it—a lost dog? A boy setting off firecrackers?” He frowned, wondering if there was a recurring pattern. “Nothing medical, I hope.” His gaze flicked over to his cell phone as if he was still contemplating a 911 call.

  Myrtle did so hate to be patronized. She said with a bit of bite in her voice, “No. I discovered a dead body.”

  Now Bailey was the one who lost color. “What’s that?”

  Myrtle looked across at Wanda. “It’s hard to believe word hasn’t gotten out about that yet. I guess that’s what happens when bodies are discovered late at night.”

  “Guess so,” said Wanda, agreeably.

  Bailey said, “Where was the body? And who was it? Did you call the police?”

  M
yrtle pressed her lips together. She had the feeling that Bailey thought her somewhat incompetent. In her schoolteacher voice she said, “The body was floating in the lake behind my house. Of course I called the police. The chief of police and I are fairly close, as you know.”

  Bailey looked chastened. “Sorry, I forget that sometimes. I don’t often see you and Red together.”

  Myrtle sniffed. “That’s by design. And to answer your last question, it was Eloise Pembroke.”

  “Eloise.” Bailey sat back in his chair, looking suddenly exhausted. Then he rallied for a second. “You just had an argument with Eloise at Jax’s service. I heard you.”

  Myrtle’s expression was frosty. “That was my attempt at keeping Eloise in line. However, she didn’t seem to heed it.”

  “An’ now she’s dead,” said Wanda in a laconic voice.

  Bailey pressed his hands up against his face.

  “Where were the two of you last night?” asked Myrtle sweetly.

  Bailey stammered, “Not out drowning anyone.”

  Myrtle waited for a better explanation, letting the seconds tick by while she drank the rest of her water.

  Bailey, finally not able to stand the silence, said, “Marigold and I were here together last night, of course.”

  Myrtle clicked her tongue. “There’s something about your demeanor that isn’t very believable, Bailey.”

  Wanda croaked, “You weren’t here.”

  Myrtle said sternly to Bailey, “When you have a psychic telling you that you weren’t here, that’s a bad sign.”

  Bailey’s shoulders slumped. “Miss Myrtle, you should go ahead and call Red. I want to confess.”

  Myrtle stared at him. Then she and Wanda stared at each other.

  Wanda said, “I ain’t said you was out killin’ nobody. Jest said you wasn’t home.”

  Bailey shrugged. “Regardless, I did it. I killed Eloise.”

  Myrtle said flatly, “And Jax.”

  “Yes, that’s right. Jax, too. So call Red and get him over here.”

  Myrtle frowned and pulled her old schoolteacher voice back into service. “Now Bailey, Red’s not much of a fan of getting his time wasted, especially in the middle of a murder investigation. Are you absolutely certain that you’re responsible for two deaths? Why don’t you walk us through them?”