Fast
Page 15
“I just…want this to work. And I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.” I crossed to the sofa and sat down heavily, burying my face in my hands. “I don’t know how to do a relationship, Hope.”
“Well, neither do I, but I think at first, the most important thing is that there’s chemistry.”
I snorted. “We have so much chemistry it blew up a condom. Hell, it’s taking everything in me to keep my hands off you right now. There are so many places in this apartment I’ve imagined laying you down and doing just dirty, depraved things to you.” I shook my head. “I don’t think chemistry is our problem.”
She glanced around the apartment. “You have? Because it’s been three weeks since you’ve so much as kissed me, so you can see why I was wondering.”
I sat up and turned to face Hope. “You think I don’t want you?”
Hope shrugged and looked down at her hands as she twisted her fingers together. “I want to be more than an incubator to you. If this between us ever has a chance of working, there has to be an us to begin with. Since the condom broke, almost every conversation has been about the baby or how our families are going to react about the baby.” She paused and hunched her shoulders. “I’d like to talk to you about you and well, maybe do more than talk, if you’re still interested in that with a pregnant woman.”
She whispered that last part like she was embarrassed.
And it was shitty that I ever gave her that impression. I didn’t know what to do about creating a relationship between us, but there was plenty I could do about letting her know that I wanted her.
“Come with me.” I stood up, grabbed her hand, and led her out of the living room, down the hallway to my bedroom. I might’ve had plenty of fantasies about her in every room in my place, but this was the one I’d spent the most time dreaming, fantasizing about. I had to have Hope under me again in my bed.
Maybe tomorrow we could defile my living room. Or my kitchen. Then maybe the shower.
Stopping next to my bed, I turned and cupped her face in my hands. “You are without a doubt the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. I wanted you the first time I saw you, and I want you every time I see you. It’s taken a hell of a lot of self-discipline for me to’ve kept my hands off you this long. But that stops now.”
Hope blinked up at me with wonder in her eyes, like she couldn’t believe what I was saying. Like maybe she wasn’t worthy of my words.
But she was.
I leaned down and kissed her. I let her feel the power of my hunger, all the times I held back, kept myself from reaching out for her, bleed through my kiss. I kissed her until she believed me. Until she couldn’t question that I wanted. Until I had to pull back and breathe.
But fortunately I was a talented multitasker. While I was busy breathing huge gulps of air, I grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it up and over her head. Hope made a surprised little squeak and I smiled. Christ, I don’t think there was anything about this woman I didn’t love.
I paused as the l-word flashed through my brain, but then my eyes dropped down to the thin lace covering her breasts. Suddenly I wasn’t capable of complex thought. All I wanted was to feel those pink tipped breasts under my hands, with my lips and tongue.
Pushing her bra cup out of the way, I passed my thumb over her hardened nipple. Hope sucked in a breath and arched into my hands. She was still wearing way too many clothes, but I couldn’t wait. I had to have a taste. Bending down, I licked her nipple before sucking the tip into my mouth. Hope groaned and buried a hand in my hair, holding me closer. I rumbled a groan of my own and sucked a little harder. She moved helplessly under me, arching into my mouth. I could hear her panting breaths and the little cries she made when I nipped her. But it wasn’t enough. She was still wearing too many clothes and so was I.
I pulled back with a groan. I didn’t want to let go of her at all, but I had to get her and me naked.
Hope swayed when I released her. I put out a hand to stabilize her and she looked up at me with slumberous, please-fuck-me eyes.
“Shit, sweetheart. You look just…” I trailed off with a groan. Taking a step back from her, I tore my shirt off over my head. Legit heard a ripping sound. Then made quick work of my itchy pants. Kicking them out of the way, I heard Hope make a groan of her own. Before I even looked her way, she’d closed the distance between us and ran a ravenous hand over my chest.
“This body of yours…” She shook her head. “Between your muscles and the tattoos, I think you’re like my fantasy brought to life. I must’ve used up all my wishes on you, and I don’t regret a single one.”
I huffed a little laugh. “What? Wishes? What are you even talking about, beautiful?”
Hope shook her blonde hair out of her face and looked up at me with eyes that were brimming with emotion. “And that. That right there. The look on your face when we’re together like this. I think I forgot it with all the crap going on in our lives outside of the bedroom. You’re like this perfect mix of bad boy and reverent lover. I don’t know what I ever did to be worthy of having you in my life, but I’m so glad.”
And now my skin felt itchy. Perfect? Hope thought she had to be worthy of me? What the fuck? Hope was the gorgeous, self-assured, college graduate who was living so far away from home. I was the asshole with anger issues who’d barely graduated high school and hadn’t managed to move more than a dozen miles from where I grew up. A hot, itchy sensation swept over my scalp and my heartbeat pounded in my ears. But I tried to laugh it off. “That’s just because you don’t know me, beautiful. It’s kinda the foundation of our relationship.”
Hope laughed lightly as she ran a hand over my chest, pausing to play with my left nipple. “I know enough to know an amazing man when I see one, Ryan. Because you are amazing—with your family and this body and the way you make me feel when you kiss me.” Her eyes sparkled when she looked up at me. “You’re amazing.”
I couldn’t take hearing anymore of this. It made me feel uncomfortable. Not worthy. So I did the only thing I could think of. I pushed her down onto the bed and covered her mouth with mine.
Crouching over her on the bed, I kissed her. Hope buried her hands in my hair and kissed me back. Tempting me, moving restlessly under me, hypnotizing me with her taste and scent. I continued to kiss her as I grappled with her bra. Finally, the clasp sprang free and I pulled back to tug the material off her. I dove onto her breasts, teasing one with my fingers and suckling the other deep into my mouth. I went back and forth until we were both breathless with arousal.
“Ryan,” Hope groaned as I left her breasts and fumbled with her pants. I wanted to feel all of her. Under me. Around me. Clasping me with her warm, wet heat. The last thought almost had me coming right then. After several tense seconds, I finally pulled her pants free, and her panties were quick to follow.
Kneeling between her thighs, I ran a delicate finger over her folds, teasing the soft delicate skin. Hope made a keening cry as she arched into my touch. But her cry was quickly followed by a gasp as I nuzzled the center of her folds.
“Oh my god. Oh my god.”
I smiled as her litanies grew in volume. Using a soft nuzzling kiss, I played with her perfect, gloriously wet pussy. But those words of hers kept niggling in the back of my mind. Perfect. Amazing. Worthy.
Shaking my head like I could shake them out of my brain, I got back to business. Gently parting her with a finger, I slowly ran it up and down her center. Spreading her wetness. Relearning her taste. My thumb softly passed over her clitoris and she jumped in my hands. I continued to tease her clit with my thumb while I explored her folds with my tongue. Hope groaned and buried a hand in my hair.
“I don’t… I don’t think…” Whatever else she was going to say was lost in a groan ending in a scream as she went over.
I could feel her pussy spasming even though I hadn’t even gotten so much as a finger inside her. Her whole body pulsed with her release. I waited a few beats for her to come down, enjoying the look
of ecstasy on her face, that expression of sheer joy and awe. I felt like I could scale a mountain just then. Take on ten hairy bikers all on my own.
Hope blinked as a slight shudder shook her body, and then she smiled drunkenly at me.
It only took one look from her gorgeous eyes, and those words were pounding in the back of my brain again. Perfect. Amazing. Worthy. I wasn’t. Despite what that smile on her face said. I was so far from any of those things.
I bent my head and made us both forget those words ever passed her lips.
This time I gently teased her with one finger, slowly pressing it inside her as I softly licked her throbbing clit. Hope groaned and shimmied beneath me. It only took a few seconds of me teasing her with both my fingers and mouth before she went over again. She grasped my finger in the vise grip of her soft, silky center that had me groaning. I could easily imagine what she’d feel like around my dick. Because I remembered. And I wanted to be there again.
But first, I bent down to nuzzle her pussy one more time, only I was denied. Hope groaned and rolled away from me.
“No more. Please. I don’t think I can take another orgasm.” She groaned into my pillows.
I sat back stunned. Shit. I’d gone too far, and now she was a raw nerve ending. Meanwhile, I was gonna die of a literal case of blue balls.
Dammit.
With a heavy sigh, I headed over to the light switch, turned it off, and crawled into bed next to Hope.
“What are you doing?” She asked as she sat up, pushing her hair off her face.
“Going to sleep.” Maybe. And maybe I’d wait ‘til she fell asleep then sneak off to the bathroom and rub one out.
Despite the dark room I could see the frown wrinkling her forehead. “I thought we were having sex.”
“And you said no more, so…”
“No more oral. I didn’t mean I was done fucking you.”
It jarred me a minute hearing that word fall from her mouth. Usually Hope went to crazy lengths not to curse. And then I figured out what she was saying. “Wait, so you want more?”
“I want you. I kinda thought I made that perfectly clear, but apparently not. I guess I’m just gonna have to take control here.” She swung over so she was straddling me, her hair falling in a curtain around us. A naughty little grin curved her mouth and I had to hold my breath. Then she shimmied down my legs until she could sit between my thighs. Only my boxer briefs were between me and Hope.
Fuck that.
Without waiting for her to say a word about them, I pulled her a little higher onto my stomach, arched my hips, and pushed my stupid boxer briefs down my legs. Everything tangled for a minute—my underwear, my legs, Hope—but after a moment and a few giggles from the two of us, the briefs were gone and it was just me and her.
After shimmying down my legs until she was nestled between them, Hope sighed. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of looking at this bad boy,” she murmured as she gently stroked up and down my length. “In fact I think I need some up close and personal time.”
And then I about swallowed my tongue as she bent forward and slowly licked every inch of me. She took me into her mouth until the tip of my dick rested against the back of her throat. When she swallowed it took everything inside me not to lose it then and there.
I reached down and grabbed her under her arms, lifting her off me.
“Wait! I was just getting to the good stuff!”
I snorted. “Unlike you, I don’t get to play again and again. And there’s no way in hell that I’m coming for the first time in a month inside your mouth. Where the hell did I put those damn condoms?”
I was craning my neck, trying and failing to reach the nightstand when Hope spoke.
“I uh, don’t think we need those anymore.”
I froze. She didn’t mean… My head swiveled and I gave Hope an incredulous look.
She shrugged. “It’s not like I could be more pregnant.”
“Condoms don’t protect you from just pregnancy.”
“Are you saying you have an STD?”
“No. I’m clean. I had my yearly physical a month before you and I got together the first time, and I haven’t been with anyone else.”
“I am, too. I went to the clinic after we…” She shrugged and I was sure if I could see her clearly there would be a blush staining her face. “I didn’t know you, and the condom broke, so I got tested.”
“Smart.” Because it was. She didn’t know me from Adam, despite her fangirl status. I couldn’t resent her for that. Besides… “Does that mean you don’t want to use anything?”
“If you’d like.”
I’d like. Fuck, I’d love. Dammit, there was that word again. “As long as you’re comfortable.”
A wicked grin swept over her face. “I think when I’m done, we’ll both be comatose. Forget comfortable.”
“Is going bareback on your sex bucket list? Because it’s sure as hell on mine.”
Her eyes sparkled. “Ditto. And I’m thrilled that I get to take your bareback virginity. You better lay back and find something to hold onto. I’m gonna take you for a ride.”
Then she pushed me down on the bed, straddling me once more. Only this time, she lined herself up, holding my dick in one hand as she sank down onto my length.
My eyes rolled back into my head. I’d never been bare back with a woman before and let me tell you, it absolutely lives up to the hype. There is nothing like that hot, wet clench of woman with nothing between you. I was inches from losing it all and we had only barely gotten started. I cursed myself for missing the show. I opened my eyes just in time to see Hope fully seat herself on me. She tilted her head back as a shiver shook her body. Her long hair tickled my thighs, and then it was my turn to shiver. After a second, Hope clenched around me but not moving at all, and I groaned.
I reached up and grabbed her around the back of her neck, urging her to bend toward me. I needed to do my part here too. Straining up, I nipped at her nipples dangling overhead and Hope gasped. Finally, finally she moved slowly up and down my length. Talk about perfect. Between the gorgeous woman, tasty nipples and hot, wet, naked pussy, I wasn’t sure how much of this I’d be able to take. I reached down with one hand and softly flicked at her clit. Hope groaned and rode me a little faster.
I clenched my teeth and tried like hell to get her there first, but dammit it was close. I thought about the complicated wiring of a Harley. I thought about the ingredients to my favorite baby back rib rub. I tried to think about anything other than the perfect clench of Hope’s pussy.
Right until I felt the telltale first clench, and then I lost it. I griped Hope’s hips and thrust into her. One. Two. Three thrusts, and I was coming.
And coming. Fuck, it’d been forever since I’d been with her, and my hand had nothing on the feeling of Hope’s naked pussy—especially when she was clenching around me like now.
Hope collapsed onto my chest, and I couldn’t fight the little laugh bubbling up.
“What?” She muttered into my naked chest, unable to even lift her head up to look at me.
“Nothing. I’m just happy.”
I could feel the curve of her lips as she smiled against my chest. “Me too.”
We lay there for a moment, lost in the happy glow of our post orgasm haze.
It was damn near perfect.
Fuck, there was that word again.
After a minute, Hope groaned and pushed herself up. Shoving her hair off her face, she smiled at me. “I’ll be right back. I just gotta go clean up.”
“I can do that. Just wait here a second.”
Hope raised her eyebrows. “Unless you can bring me a toilet, I think maybe I should do this myself.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. I need to pee. I do that a lot lately.” With a quirk of her lips, she jumped off the bed and headed for the attached bathroom with more energy than I was capable of at the moment.
But I had to, since I had some cleaning up of my own to do.
/>
The whole time I was in the hall bathroom those words she’d said earlier buzzed around my brain. Perfect. Amazing. Worthy.
The words gnawed at me. Antagonizing me. Because I was none of those things.
When I got back to the bedroom, Hope was already in bed with a happy smile curving her lips. I climbed in next to her and pulled her into my arms. She fell against me with a sigh.
“Sleep, beautiful. I’ll take you home tomorrow. I just want to sleep with you, hold you tonight.”
Hope didn’t say a word and in a few minutes her soft, steady breathing told me she was asleep.
Perfect. Amazing. Hope was both of those things.
I had to figure out how I was going to be worthy of her.
I wanted to be—had to be—if I had any chance of keeping her.
Chapter 19
Hope
From Ryan: How’s my favorite girl doing today?
I grinned as I looked down at my phone. Just seeing Ryan’s name had those butterflies rocketing in my stomach in a way that had absolutely nothing to do with morning sickness. Although I had puked once already today.
Not that I was gonna tell Ryan that.
Apparently morning sickness was tragically misnamed; it should’ve been called all-day sickness.
Me: I’m your favorite?
Ryan: Of course but plz don’t tell Sabrina. She’d kick my ass.
I laughed then held my stomach with a groan. Between the constant queasiness, occasional puking, and horrific smells from my coworker’s lunch, my stomach was a war zone. I really hoped this morning sickness thing didn’t last long.
Me: Your secret is safe with me :)
Thinking that would be the end of our exchange, I set my phone aside and took a quick inventory of what I had to get done even though it was already after five. Screw it. Nothing was pressing, and I really just wanted to get home, take off my bra, and veg in front of the TV. I shut down my computer and was reaching for the drawer I stashed my purse in when my phone pinged again.
Ryan: You busy?
Me: Nope just shutting down for the night.