The City of Veils

by S. Usher Evans

  "Mm," he replied, flipping the page. "I don't think you want to help people. I think your ego wants to do what it wants, and doesn't care about who you are or what you represent. If you wanted to, you could use your position as queen to make Forcadel better."

  "I tried that."

  "No, you used your position to get to Beswick. You didn't use your position to help anyone but yourself, and it was selfish."

  That word again. I hated it, especially coming from Felix's mouth. "How is taking out one of the most notorious crime bosses in the city selfish?"

  "Because you won't let anyone else do it for you," he said. "I think you couldn't care less about your people, because if you did, you wouldn't want to be out there, risking your life, when you could do more as queen. If you wanted to, you could send any one of my guards out in your stead to investigate, but instead you drag both of us out in the middle of the night. All you care about is getting the glory as some masked vigilante." He shifted in the seat. "And since it's my job to keep you alive, here we are."

  My face was burning as I struggled to find the words to refute him. But there was a sick feeling in my stomach now, one that very clearly wanted me to admit Felix had a point. When I'd begun my life as The Veil, there had been a purpose, a greater goal. But now, maybe I'd forgotten why I donned the mask. And that sat like a weight on my chest.

  "Now, if you're done trying to manipulate me," he said, rising to his feet, "I think Riya might be a better watchman for you. At least she's wise to your bullshit."

  I winced as the door slammed behind him.

  Riya was now my nightly companion, arriving at dusk and leaving before I woke up. I barely saw Felix except in passing in the hallway, where he did his best to avoid my gaze. Confessions and apologies threatened to bubble from my lips in those brief moments, but I kept them to myself.

  The Severians moved out of the castle within three days, but per Katarine, they were still unable to make the trek back home. Ilara had come down with a horrible illness, and had to remain ensconced in an inn near the water until she was well enough to travel. But she was out of the castle, which seemed to appease my Council. They were still furious with me over the treaty incident, but with time and silence, they soon grew to a tepid dislike. Garwood had even resumed our weekly lunches, although I still let him do most of the talking. Mostly because I had nothing to offer.

  The only people in the castle who still enjoyed my company were Katarine and Beata, who joined me for breakfast every morning before we continued our lessons. Beata had even started adding more sweets to my meals, but they didn't help.

  "Not even a smile?" Beata asked, as she placed the plate of iced pastries in front of me.

  "Not much to smile about," I replied, looking out the window. "Felix hates me, I'm stuck in my room all day only to be let out to be ignored by my Council. And worst of all…Beswick is still out there ruining lives and there's nothing I can do about it."

  "But I had the cook make you chocolate," Beata said, holding one up hopefully. When I shrugged half-heartedly, she pouted and put it back down. "See, Kat? I told you it wouldn't help. She needs to get out of the castle."

  "Like that'll happen," I replied dryly.

  "Maybe I can work on Felix," Katarine said. "We could take another day trip out into the city, buy you some more dresses. He could even come with us, if he's so concerned about you."

  "I wouldn't give you the slip," I said with a half-smile. "But I don't think going on a girls' trip would make me feel any better. I don't think anything would make me feel better."

  Beata shared a look with Katarine, who rolled her eyes and shushed her as she took Beata's hand. "I'm sure that's not true. Let me talk to Felix about it. You've been very good as of late. He's got to loosen his grip a little."

  "Good?" I muttered, casting them a look. They seemed very cozy, holding hands and giving me the same concerned, motherly look. Oddly, it made me miss Felix even more. Despite the pain in my heart, I forced a smile onto my face. "Thank you for taking such good care of me. I do appreciate you both."

  Beata chuckled and rose, wiping her hands on her apron then kissed Katarine on the forehead. "I suppose I'd better get to it."

  "Have a good day," Katarine replied, watching her as she walked out the door.

  "I can see what August was talking about, if that's how you two were around him," I said, shoving the rest of the pastry into my mouth. "So what's on our agenda this morning?"

  "I have a special treat for you today," she said. "You have a full day of citizen grievances."

  I quirked a brow. "I haven't had one of those in a while."

  "No, you haven't. The Council wasn't sure, after the last one…" She cleared her throat. "But they feel you can be trusted now. And besides, there's quite a queue."

  I shook my head. I was getting tired of being treated like an impetuous child. "So they want me docile and stupid? Color me surprised."

  "It's all temporary," Katarine said, taking my hand. "But for today, it's probably best to continue that trend. Don't agree to anything and don't—"

  "I know, I know," I said. "Are you sure they want me and not a sack of potatoes?"

  She smiled. "You've got a nicer shape than a sack of potatoes."

  In the receiving room, I assumed the position and rested my chin on my hand. Galton was back, walking with purpose into the room with a thick stack of papers. He bowed low at the hip and straightened.

  "Good morning, Your Highness. We have fifty citizens to meet with today, so please take caution not to spend too much time with each person."

  "I won't," I mumbled. Now even the attendant was telling me what to do? Had I really sunk so low?

  The parade of citizenry was more or less the same as the first time. Merchants asking for help, disagreements between neighbors that needed my input. Requests to increase my budget.

  "I'm sorry," I replied softly. "I'm unable to help."

  The last woman nodded and walked away, taking a piece of my heart with her. I exhaled and sat back in my chair, holding my chin in my hand. Felix had said that I could help more people as queen, but I hadn't done any of that. Instead, I'd unilaterally denied even valid requests, all so I could regain the trust of my Council. It seemed to me that everyone should be working toward the prosperity of Forcadel and its citizens. So why did it feel like I was the only one who cared about that?

  I glanced at the other end of the room where Felix was standing at attention, and the urge to reach out to him was strong. But just as I caught his gaze, he turned to leave, and Joella took his place.

  "Oh, don't look so glum, Your Highness!" Zuriel strode in with a bright white smile. "I come bearing good news on the progress of your summer festival."

  The summer festival, that was something to look forward to. Maybe if I strained my ears, I'd be able to hear the music from my locked tower. "Please, give me some good news."

  "We have three hundred merchants in town or on their way," he said, showing me a sheet of paper. "Our inns are filling up and our coffers are, too, from all the import taxes. So much so that it appears we have a surplus for the year." He paused. "I came to ask for your guidance on what you'd like to do with it."

  I hesitated. "What are my options?"

  "We could commission a new art piece for the castle, perhaps. Or purchase some new flowers for your coronation ceremony. I may have a line on some blue flowers that grow along the banks of the Vanhoja River."

  "Do I have to spend it on myself?" I asked, a pleading note in my voice.

  Zuriel thought for a moment. "I guess we could give it to Godfryd. Perhaps the captain's guard would like a bonus. They have been working extra hard lately."

  That wasn't exactly what I meant, but it would have to do. I cast a look at Joella and wished she was Felix. "That sounds fine. I know they'll appreciate it."

  "I must say," he said with a grin, "this will be a festival to remember. I've never seen the people so excited to welcome you as our queen."
>
  I wished I could smile, but I just didn't feel like it.

  Chapter 37

  When I returned to my room, faces and sounds of disappointment echoed in my mind. I opened the window, leaning out and letting the wind cool my face. I wasn't sure how long I stood there, but Beata came and left with my dinner and I didn't have the energy to acknowledge her.

  I needed out. I needed to walk somewhere without Felix or guards or anyone looking over my shoulder, without anyone judging my behavior or deciding if I'd been "good enough" to allow me to help others. I released my grip on the sill and craned my neck upward. Well, they may not let me out of the building, but I could still get a bit of freedom.

  I climbed up onto the sill, holding onto the outside of the window. I leaned forward and grabbed the ledge above, hanging by my fingertips. I swung myself forward and backward then propelled myself up onto the roof, landing on my feet.

  Rising, I stood on the edge of my roof and inhaled, taking in the sight of the kingdom before me. And for the first time in a few days, I exhaled a loud, freeing breath. The weight on my chest lessened. And with a smile on my face, I leaned backward to lie on the still-warm tile roof of the castle.

  The stars were just starting to twinkle above me as the sky changed color. Another rare wind blew the humidity away from my face, leaving goosebumps on my skin. I rested my hands under my head and closed my eyes, imagining I was back at the butchery, catnapping until another night saving the kingdom.

  "Son of a…"

  Riya's dulcet tones echoed up from the open window, followed by a lot of banging and clanging. A few minutes later, Felix's angry voice came wafting out, too.

  "I can't imagine she's gone far," he said. "Zathan and Coyle are at the bottom of the stairs, and—"

  "I'm up here," I called, loud enough for him to hear.

  "Y—Brynna? Where are you?"

  "Are you on the roof?" Riya cried.

  "Yep." I adjusted myself and sighed. "Come up if you want."

  "Come back in here this instant," Felix barked. "What if you slip and fall?"

  "I'm in no danger," I replied. "Why don't you come out and see?"

  His fingertips appeared on the edge of the roof, followed by the rest of him. He wore a scowl as he crawled on his hands and knees toward me. "Brynna, this is exceptionally dangerous."

  I sighed. "It's too hot in my room. The air doesn't move. The bed is warm and sticky, too."

  "I'm absolutely sure that this has nothing to do with driving me crazy, hm?" He hadn't turned back around to admire the view, and his knuckles were white.

  "Are you afraid?" I asked.

  He glared at me. "I'm afraid of sitting on a sloped roof where the slightest wrong move could send me sliding to my death, yes."

  I laughed and propped myself up on my elbows. "So don't make any wrong moves and you'll be fine."

  "Brynna, I have had a very long day, and I'm not in the mood for your games."

  "This isn't a game, Felix. I just wanted some fresh air," I replied softly.

  "So go out to the gardens. Or anywhere else that's not a thousand feet up in the air."

  "You won't let me. You've trapped me in my room." I smiled, gazing up at the stars. "Lie down and you'll understand what I'm talking about."

  Grumbling, he carefully turned onto his back. "What am I supposed to be seeing?"

  "The stars, Felix. They're up in the sky."

  "I can see the stars from the ground." He craned his neck toward the black sky then quickly returned to me. "There, I looked at them, can we please get back into your room?"

  "I like being up here."

  "No, you don't, you—"

  "Felix, I'm being serious." I closed my eyes. "This isn't another ploy to try to convince you to let me out tonight. I've had a hard day, too."

  "Pardon me if I don't believe you after all the stunts you've pulled."

  His words stung, but they weren't untrue. "I'm sorry for lying to you."

  "Are you drunk?" Felix asked, eyeing me. "Or is this another—"

  "I'm just trying to apologize, you ass," I snapped. "Isn't that what you wanted from me? I'm acknowledging what I did wrong and promising to do better."

  "It's just so rare. I didn't think it was possible."

  I turned to him, ready to argue further, but stopped at the smirk on his lips. It drew a smile onto mine and a lessening of the knot in my chest.

  "Joella told me about the bonus to the soldiers," he said. "Thank you for that."

  "Well, my options were to buy a painting, get some blue flowers, or give my soldiers a bonus." I turned back to the stars. "And after telling everyone else no today, I wanted to do something for somebody else."

  "It'll get easier," he said.

  I sighed heavily. "I don't want it to get easier. I want to help people. I didn't help anyone today except the guards and, no offense, they're doing just fine." I shook my head. "I want to help the poor people in Haymaker's District, like I used to do as The Veil. Now, I'm just one of the rich people who's part of the problem."

  "See, there it is again," Felix said.

  "What?"

  "That ego," He sat up. "I don't believe for a second that helping the people in Haymaker's is about anything other than giving you glory. Being altruistic for selfish reasons isn't very altruistic at all."

  I blew air out between my lips. "You just have no idea."

  "Then illuminate me," he said.

  "Being the Veil used to be a sacred thing to me. It was…it was penance for what I did. Even if that thing was unforgivable, it made me feel like I was doing my best to atone for it."

  "Did you…kill someone?"

  I couldn't help the sharp intake of breath that gave me away, so I continued staring at the stars, my heartbeat throbbing in my chest.

  "You said The Veil didn't kill."

  "The Veil didn't." I squeezed my eyes shut. "Brynna did. Or Larissa. Me. I killed a man before I became The Veil. Killing him made me The Veil. I decided to become The Veil after I…" I forced my lips shut to keep from rambling.

  He was quiet for a moment. "Brynna, I'm sure that however it happened was an accident—"

  "It wasn't," I said, replaying the scene in my mind. "We were robbing a carriage, and one of the guards was aiming for one of ours. So I…" I swallowed hard. "I shot him."

  "To save your own," Felix said. "I can't imagine—"

  "It was Holden Oleander."

  I wasn't sure why the name of Felix's guard tumbled from my lips, but once it had, I regretted it. Felix sucked in a breath and released my hand, staring at me as if he'd never seen me before.

  "You…you killed Holden Oleander?"

  I averted my gaze so I wouldn't see his disgust. "It was the very first mission Celia gave me to lead. She wanted the diamonds they were transporting—I think they were for Kat, actually. It seemed like something that wouldn't hurt anyone, but…there were more guards than I'd thought. I tried to use knockout powder, but…"

  Oleander's lifeless eyes flashed through my mind and I shuddered. But more terrifying was the deafening silence coming from Felix, so I kept talking to fill it.

  "When I came back to camp, Celia wanted me to act like it was nothing. Like taking a man's life was…just a part of doing business. But I couldn't live with myself. I had to do something…so I decided to leave the camp and turn myself in." I was finally brave enough to open my eyes, but not brave enough to look at him. "To you, actually. I saw you and Fishen telling Oleander's family and I was ready to…just hope you didn't recognize me so you'd throw me in jail where I belonged." I swallowed. "But before I could get that far, I saved a woman from two street thugs. Fishen saw me do it and told me that if I really wanted to repent…maybe I could do it by helping people instead." A tear fell down my cheek and I didn't wipe it away. "So I did. Every time I put on that mask, I would remind myself why I was there. And maybe I strayed a little from that in my pursuit of Beswick. But I'm not doing this… I just wanted to find some f
orgiveness for what I did. To be able to look at myself in the mirror and not be disgusted with what I saw." I closed my eyes again. "Now I'm part of the problem. Sitting on a throne and telling people I can't help them because I have to keep all my gold for myself."

  Felix was silent for a long time, and more tears fell as I ruminated over what I'd said. The gentle touch of his thumbs wiping the tears from my cheeks prodded my eyes open into his sad, brown ones.

  "Oleander's death was…" He paused. "Well, it was. But you don't have to be part of the problem. You can help people—even more than you have as The Veil. And when you're queen, I have no doubts that you'll do everything in your power to destroy Beswick and anyone else who's harming people in this city. But you have to be careful that in the pursuit of one evil, you aren't unleashing more." His thumb brushed against my cheek again, although there were no tears to be found. "That's why you have to listen to us. We all want what's best for Forcadel."

  I stared into his eyes, words tumbling from my lips before I could stop them. "I'm sorry. About…about Oleander. I wish that I…"

  His eyes shifted, but his hand didn't leave my cheek. Instead, he pressed a sweet kiss to my forehead. "C'mon, let's get off this roof already."

  I barked a laugh, bolstered by the feather-light feel of his lips lingering on my forehead. "Felix, we've been running on rooftops for weeks now. Surely you're no longer afraid of heights."

  "Heights, no. Sitting on top of a tall tower? Yes."

  I sat up, wiping my face with my free hand. "Fine. I'll walk you through getting back into the room, O fearless Captain of my Guard."

  Chapter 38

  Talking with Felix had lifted a weight off my chest, and not just because I was allowed out of my room again. Our relationship was damaged, but it wasn't broken. And I was surprised at how much I wanted it mended. Even though I wanted to visit Ilara in the city and tell her how I'd fared with her advice, I didn't broach the subject. Even the Council was starting to tolerate me again, and I wanted to keep things moving forward.