Don't Leave Me Breathless

by A Kelly

  The twins walked in silence, taking the back way, following the creek to avoid their dad. But he was waiting at the door when they got home.

  ‘Dinner will be ready soon,’ he said, which both Jake and Summer ignored as they headed upstairs.

  Jake pulled Summer into his room and locked the door.

  ‘Do you know someone named Charlotte?’ asked Jake.

  ‘No.’

  ‘I came home, Dad was with her.’

  ‘Must be his friend.’

  ‘In bed?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘They were kissing. It’s bloody disgusting!’ Jake said. ‘We have to tell Mum.’

  ‘Wait! Did Dad see you come home?’

  ‘No. But he knows now, doesn’t he?’

  ‘Did you just hear them or did you see them?’

  ‘Why are you always defending him?’

  ‘I’m not. There might be another explanation.’

  ‘You’re such a child! They were in bed!’

  ‘Jake… we have to think about this. If we tell Mum, then Mum will leave Dad!’

  ‘That wouldn’t be so bad!’

  ‘Jake?’

  ‘I think we’re better off without him.’

  ‘How could you say that?’

  He shook his head. ‘You’re always his chaton. The smart one who will go to law school like him.’

  ‘That’s not fair.’

  ‘Remember our holiday in Penguin?’

  Summer smiled. That Tasmanian town. She glanced at Tuxedo Sam (or Sam for short), the penguin that was lying on Jake’s pillow. She said, ‘Best holiday ever.’

  ‘Why do you think it was?’

  ‘We had a great time! The Big Penguin statue, and those fairy penguins – they were so cute.’

  ‘And he wasn’t there!’

  Summer gaped.

  Jake nodded to her face. ‘Had he been there, we couldn’t have stayed up playing games, or had so many ice creams. We were bloated but we were happy! And he wouldn’t care a thing about the penguins!’

  Summer couldn’t disagree.

  He continued, ‘Mum promised we’d go back to Penguin, but Dad kept moving us around. And he’d say…’

  Treat this as a holiday.

  ‘He did take us to Disneyland eventually. That wasn’t bad.’

  ‘Wasn’t bad, but wasn’t as good. He was moaning about the food all the time.’

  TTPF – Terrible Theme Park Food.

  Jake took Summer’s hand. ‘We tell Mum so we can get away from him!’

  ‘I don’t know…’

  ‘We won’t have to move ever again! We can stay in the Hunter Valley! We can go back to Penguin.’

  Summer shook her head tentatively.

  Jake begged, ‘Don’t tell him anything, please. At least for now.’

  ‘All right,’ said Summer. ‘Hey, let’s have dinner. I’m hungry.’

  ‘Would you bring mine here? Please, Summer?’

  Summer nodded.

  Downstairs she found her dad holding a bowl of salad, looking for a space on the table to put it. In the oven, Glenda’s brisket was heating up.

  ‘Where’s your brother?’ asked Joseph.

  ‘He wants to eat upstairs.’

  ‘Get him down here.’

  ‘Dad… please… he just needs time by himself.’

  Summer stared at him.

  He looked down. Without a word he took out the brisket from the oven, cut three slices, put some mashed potato and salad on a plate, and gave it to Summer.

  Summer paused.

  ‘You too want to eat upstairs?’

  Summer shook her head and power-walked to Jake’s room.

  ‘Come back down right away,’ her dad said.

  She stared at him once more.

  ‘Please,’ he added.

  Her dad didn’t like to eat alone.

  Summer knocked on Jake’s door.

  ‘Thanks,’ said Jake taking the plate off Summer. Seeing Summer was about to go back down, he whispered: ‘Don’t tell him anything!’

  Summer closed the door and joined her dad.

  ‘So… your brother’s friend’s dad drove him home this afternoon?’

  Summer nodded.

  ‘I’d like to meet the family, especially if they live nearby.’

  ‘His dad is a marine.’

  ‘Is that right?’ her dad said, taking his first bite of the brisket. ‘Is Jake okay?’

  Summer didn’t say anything.

  He sighed and continued eating.

  ‘Who is Charlotte?’ Summer whispered.

  He stayed silent for a while, but he didn’t look surprised. ‘I’m sorry, Summer. I didn’t mean to bring her here.’

  ‘Is she beautiful? Do you love her?’

  ‘Chaton… I love your mum.’

  ‘Don’t call me that! I hate it!’

  ‘I’m sorry… It’s complicated. I had a relationship with Charlotte but it’s not what you think. Even your mum knows.’

  ‘What?’

  He put his face in his hands.

  ‘So, is Mum not coming back? Is Aunty Jean really sick or is it a lie?’

  ‘Of course Mum is coming back!’ he said. ‘And Aunty Jean is sick.’

  ‘Dad, I don’t want another mother!’

  ‘Summer, of course not! That woman’s gone. I promise.’

  She was his chaton, his kitten, yet he expected her to understand love, relationships, parents stuff, everything that she did not understand.

  Her mum knew? How could she let her dad do this? To her, and to her kids? Or had Summer got it all wrong? Was it okay for dads to be with other women?

  ‘You said you didn’t love Charlotte, but you had a relationship with her. What’s the difference?’

  ‘It was a stupid thing – Charlotte and me. Love is what I have for your mum. I can’t live without her. That’s love.’

  ‘I still don’t understand. So, Mum knows… and she’s okay with it?’

  ‘No, she’s not okay with it. She understands, but she’s sad.’

  Summer wanted to throw her dinner plate at her dad for making her mum sad. But he would probably slap himself later when he was alone in his study, or even bang his head against the wall – violently, until he bled. It wouldn’t be the first time he punished himself. After an argument, he’d do it in front of Mum and Mum would beg him to stop. Then they would hug and promise each other – again – they would stay together.

  ‘Does Mum have another man?’

  ‘Summer! No!’

  ‘And it would be okay if she did? Dad?’ She raised her voice. ‘Would you understand if she had another man?’

  By now perhaps her dad realised she was just a kitten, and he’d just choked her with mind-boggling big cat problems he shouldn’t have. But she’d asked him a question, and he couldn’t lie to her.

  ‘Mum wouldn’t do it, but if she did, I would be very, very sad, and I wouldn’t be understanding.’

  A thump stopped the conversation. Outside, something landed on the grass.

  Summer opened the front door and saw Jake running away in the distance. She went to her bedroom and got her torch, put on her boots and bolted outside.

  ‘Summer!’ her dad shouted. But she was well gone, and he probably didn’t know where they were going this time.

  She ran back to the park, and this time she continued to the forest. Jake wouldn’t be looking for woodpeckers at this time, he just wanted to disappear. But his sister knew him too well.

  ‘Leave me alone!’ Jake said when Summer shone her torch on him. ‘You promised not to say anything!’

  ‘We can work this out with Dad.’

  ‘Summer! You’re so spoilt, so stupid!’

  ‘Mum loves him, you know. She knows! She knows about Charlotte.’

  ‘What does that mean? She’s leaving us now?’

  ‘No. We talked to her yesterday, she promised she’d come back. She wouldn’t leave us, Jake.’

  Jake kic
ked a few rocks on the ground. ‘No… she wouldn’t.’

  ‘Mum and Dad will sort this out. We can’t tear them apart.’

  ‘What are we gonna do? I hate this place! I hate Dad!’

  ‘Let Mum and Dad handle Charlotte. It’s none of our business.’

  ‘Summer…’

  ‘Hear me out, Jake. Even if we ran away with Mum, Mum will be sad without Dad. Charlotte won’t matter. This time we just have to let it go and let the grownups worry about themselves. Imagine if we had to live apart. I can’t, Jake,’ Summer said and hugged her brother.

  ‘No, I can’t either. You’re the only one I’ve got,’ Jake said. He rummaged his jacket pocket. ‘I forgot to give you this.’

  A sketch.

  ‘It was a new bird I found this afternoon. I don’t know what it is yet. Some kind of warbler. It was grey and yellow.’

  ‘Nice.’

  ‘I’ll colour it when I have time.’

  ‘No, I love it the way it is.’

  Suddenly another torch shone on them.

  ‘Oh look, two little munchkins! Shouldn’t you be in bed?’

  ‘Let’s go, Jake!’

  The man looped his arms over Summer, but she slipped through his clumsy grip.

  ‘Oh! The girl is feisty!’

  Summer pulled her brother’s arm so he kept up with her. But the man got him this time. A tug-a-war ensued. ‘Come on, Jake!’ she cried. But soon the tug grew heavy, and she lost her grip. As she steadied herself, Summer shone her torch on Jake. The mad man had a hold on Jake’s ankles, and he hauled him back into the forest.

  ‘Let him go!’ Summer gave chase.

  With a phlegmy grumble, the man turned around. His left arm hooked around Jake’s neck and he had a knife pointing at her brother’s right cheek. She trembled. Her dad would’ve said where’s your courage? When she’d said I can’t, he would’ve said Courage is like love. It’s there but you have to find it.

  She loved Jake, so she had to be courageous. With a loud, steady voice she said: ‘Let go of my brother!’

  ‘What are you gonna do, girl?’

  She wished her dad was here. But he was just a diplomat. Even though people often called him a great diplomat, she doubted he could’ve done anything right now. She shouted: ‘Our dad is a marine. He will break your neck!’

  ‘Well he ain’t here now, is he?’

  ‘Dad we’re here!’ Summer’s voice echoed.

  No, her ‘marine dad’ wasn’t here. She wished someone had taught her how to fight.

  ‘Let my brother go and you can have me,’ Summer said.

  Her statement distracted the man and Jake seized the moment to bite his captor’s arm and escape. By then Summer had come close to the man and picked up a broken branch. She swung it against his face. The impact made Summer lose her torch. She abandoned it and ran with Jake. But after a few strides, she tripped on a dip in the ground and the man pounced at her. Jake hit him multiple times with his fists, but the man wasn’t letting go.

  ‘Go get Dad, Jake! He’s close.’

  Jake cried.

  ‘Go!’

  With only the man’s torchlight shining, Summer could see her brother’s silhouette getting smaller as police sirens and people’s voices loomed. How long had their dad looked for them before panic set in? Had he, too, worried about the possibility of his children being kidnapped? Getting the officials involved – it was what a diplomat could do. It wasn’t heroic, but it’d save them.

  A few seconds later a familiar figure burst out of the dark. She vaguely saw Jake coming towards it as she herself fought to resist her captor’s effort to drag her deeper into the forest.

  ‘He got Summer, Dad!’ Jake cried.

  ‘Summer!’ Their dad was ready to run to her, but someone halted him.

  ‘Stay back, Mr Rideau!’ that person said.

  Then about half a dozen policemen came in like a wall, all pointing their guns at her and the mad man.

  ‘Drop the knife!’ the policeman who halted their dad shouted. ‘Let the girl go!’

  Still immobilised by the man’s grip, with the knife tip at her chin, it surprised Summer how she was glad to see her dad. She and her brother might not want him in their holidays, but she couldn’t imagine life without him. And tonight, seeing her dad standing behind the police, with Jake hanging on to him, she was truly glad.

  But what would happen when their mum came back? Things might not turn out fine. Summer needed to buy time, at least to have both her parents together for just a while longer. She could learn from her dad. Summer had seen how he’d won over her mum after a fight. Her parents must’ve thought the kids were asleep, but Summer would sneak out and peeped into her dad’s study. In there, his dad would slap himself, or hit his own head against his solid oak desk or the brick wall behind him, or cut his arm with a letter opener. This way her dad had always made her mum stay no matter how bad the situation.

  In the chaos of the police storming her captor, Summer snuck behind the mad man and reached for the knife he’d dropped, and with it she sliced the side of her left thigh. She almost bit her lips to muffle her cry. Her mum wouldn’t leave when Summer was hurt. Just like her mum had stayed when her dad had bled from his own punishment. They would stay as a family, at least until Summer had healed.

  This year might be the year they would have a proper Christmas. And by then Summer prayed things would be all right between her parents.

  2

  The unbreakable bond

  Penguin, Tasmania, Australia

  The crowd at Penguin Cemetery slowly disbursed, leaving the towering figure of Joseph Russo to cast a lonely shadow over Emily Russo’s grave. Next to him, five-year-old Cornelia leaned against his leg; she hadn’t let go of his hand since the start of the funeral.

  From the corner of his eye, Joseph caught a woman separating from the last group of people ambling back to their cars.

  Not her, again…

  ‘Joseph.’ The woman loosened the bow of her blouse when she got close to him.

  ‘Gillian,’ said Joseph.

  ‘I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record. If there’s anything I can do, I’m here.’

  What could she do? She wouldn’t be ‘here’ – she wouldn’t survive living in this Tasmanian town. Joseph knew what she really meant: when you’re ready, sell your house, sell Sergeant Scipio (that pet shop will never make money!), come with me to the mainland and be the man in my house.

  ‘I really appreciate it, but we’ll be fine,’ he replied, keeping his charming smile while his eyes were scanning the cemetery. Where the hell was Caine? His best friend was supposed to be the ‘crowd control’ to protect him from this kind of advance – which wasn’t the first since Emily died.

  ‘Emily and I used to be close… but you know, her life was…’ Gillian trailed off.

  ‘Yeah,’ Joseph said, this time without a smile. He tidied up Cornelia’s hair as a gust of wind swept through the cemetery and blew it into her eyes.

  ‘She’s such a brave girl.’ Gillian reached to touch Cornelia’s face, but the girl cowered behind Joseph.

  ‘I’ll see you at the Neptune,’ Joseph said.

  ‘Sure.’

  She leaned in to kiss him very close to his lips, but Joseph turned enough to avoid contact with her puckering mouth. She walked away.

  ‘Russo!’ Caine Lawlor was wandering over. He nodded briefly at Gillian as he passed her by.

  ‘Where have you been?’

  Caine Lawlor sped up his stride. ‘Sorry. I had to talk to the boss,’ he said, brushing away some pollen from Joseph’s shoulders. ‘Who was that? What did you do?’

  ‘Emily’s friend from Sydney. What do you mean “what did I do”?’

  ‘Never mind. I know the answer. She wasn’t for you anyway.’

  ‘Carl!’ Cornelia suddenly let go of Joseph’s hand and ran towards a teenage boy sheltering under a tree, four rows away from Emily’s grave.

  So the boy had
been at her mother’s funeral after all. Carlton Davis, Emily’s son from her first marriage – the son Joseph had lost custody of, the one who would never forgive him for it. Joseph was about to stop Cornelia and say they had to go, but he let her be.

  ‘You all right?’ asked Caine.

  ‘Yeah.’

  ‘Is he gonna be trouble?’

  ‘No. I’m glad he’s here. He still cared enough to say goodbye to his mother at least. I’d better talk to him.’

  ‘Righto. I’ll see you at the Neptune.’

  Joseph watched Cornelia giggling at Carlton’s disappearing coin trick. The last time he’d seen the boy, about a year ago, he’d lit a match inside Sergeant Scipio, right next to bottles of pet stain and odour remover. Carlton had insisted he just wanted to light up the room and see what was there. But when Joseph caught him, he had been sure the boy was about to let go of the lit match.

  ‘Joseph Russo,’ said Carlton, as Joseph made his way over. He put his hands on Cornelia’s shoulders and gently ushered her back to Joseph.

  ‘Where’s your dad?’ asked Joseph.

  ‘I’m fourteen, I don’t need a chaperone,’ Carlton said.

  Joseph suspected Neil, Carlton’s dad who lived in rural Victoria, didn’t know where his son was. Joseph himself could’ve been in trouble if Neil found out he was speaking to his son. Since Joseph had lost custody, Neil had never allowed him to make contact with Carlton; even threatened to issue a restraining order. But every now and then the boy appeared in Penguin out of nowhere. Joseph would like to think the boy missed his stepdad, but more likely Carlton just wanted to remind him of his failure as a parent.

  ‘Happy belated birthday,’ Joseph said, remembering Carlton had had his birthday last week.

  Carlton nodded.

  ‘What happened to your face?’ asked Joseph.

  ‘I get into fights all the time, Joseph.’

  ‘Why didn’t you join us earlier?’ Joseph said.

  ‘With these?’ Carlton pointed at his bruises. He chuckled. ‘I wouldn’t embarrass you. Besides, I didn’t belong with those people. I was always the troublemaker, no?’

  ‘She was your mum. No one would’ve judged you – not today.’