Hard As Stone
Page 11
I didn’t know what to say. No one had ever said those kinds of things to me. Maybe Tressa was right. Maybe all I needed was more confidence.
“Now go have a good night and I’ll see you first thing in the morning to get working on that party.”
I left her office feeling like a million bucks, but not halfway down the hall I saw Ethan’s office and everything she said evaporated into the recesses of my brain. With every step, I couldn’t escape the truth of why I felt so awkward about him. About us.
His door was unlocked, so I opened it and saw him sitting there staring off in the distance. He barely noticed anyone had come in, but I needed to say some things.
“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for snapping at you in the elevator. I’m sorry. To be honest, I’m sorry about a lot of things. I’m sorry things ended so badly between us. I’m sorry you got fired from Belle. I never meant for that to happen, Ethan. I was upset when you didn’t bother calling me after what happened, but Julia caught me off guard. I didn’t intend on getting you in trouble. It’s just that I answered her truthfully when she asked the question about us being together. I swear I didn’t mean to ruin things for you. I’m sorry.”
He stared at me blankly as I stood there for another moment, but just before I turned to leave, I thought I saw a hint of hurt in his eyes. I was sorry for that too. I never meant to hurt him by lashing out like I did in the elevator.
By the time I hit the chilly February air, my emotions were all over the place and I felt exhausted. These Stones sure were a lot to deal with. Tressa built me up so high I felt like I could take off into the clouds, and Ethan made me want to run back to my hotel room and bury my head in a pillow.
This job was an emotional rollercoaster.
The ten block walk to the Richmont helped clear my head so at least I didn’t feel like I was about to unravel like a cheap sweater. I just needed to get to my room, change out of my work clothes, and watch some mindless TV. Always the recipe for relaxation, I was sure I’d feel better after a few hours of some stupid sitcom.
Just as I reached for the handle on the glass entrance door to the hotel, I heard someone call my name. Looking around, I didn’t see anyone I knew, but I had heard my name yelled out. True, I had a name that was also a noun, but it was unlikely anyone was yelling about the season in the middle of the winter.
“Summer! Wait!”
That time I heard it even clearer and knew exactly who had yelled. I turned around to see Ethan not even wearing a coat over his suit and marching toward me like a man on a mission. But what exactly could his mission be with me? He looked like he was about to start barking at me right there in front of his father’s hotel.
I stepped out of the way of a group of fellow hotel guests who wanted to go inside and waited for him. He reached me in only a few seconds and stopped dead in front of me, his expression downright serious.
“What are you doing here?” he asked angrily.
“Why, hello to you too. Yes, I think it is a lovely day for February. Maybe spring will come early,” I answered in my best smart ass tone.
He let out a sigh and drew in his eyebrows in clear frustration. “I meant did Tressa send you on an errand or something? It just seems strange to see you coming here.”
“I would think it’s strange for you to see me coming or going anywhere since we aren’t together anymore, Ethan.”
Another sigh, this one deeper, and then his expression softened and he looked like the man I’d spent that incredible month with again. “So what are you doing here? Does my sister have you doing busy work on your time off?”
I saw a hint of that stunning smile of his when he finished speaking, so I told him the truth. “I live here now.”
“What? What do you mean you live here?” he asked, that edge to his voice present again.
God, I hated having to admit to my ultra-wealthy ex-boyfriend that I had to live off the charity of his family.
“I had to leave my apartment when Julia fired me because I couldn’t afford it. I ended up moving in with two people I knew from a coffee shop near the Belle magazine offices, but that was in Brooklyn and I hated it for reasons I don’t feel like getting into now. When your sister offered me the job as her assistant, I told her I couldn’t take it because I had to move back to Pennsylvania with my parents because I’d run out of money. She offered me a room here for as long as I need it.”
He listened in rapt attention to my tale of woe, and in my shame, I quickly added, “I plan on moving out as soon as I can. I don’t take charity. I just had no…”
I didn’t finish my sentence. Too embarrassed to finish, I looked down at my gloved hands and wished this moment could end and Ethan would go away so I didn’t have to feel like such a loser.
“That Julia is a piece of work, isn’t she?” he said, that edge in his voice gone again.
I looked up and nodded. “She’s made sure to tell everyone she can what a rotten assistant I was. I haven’t been able to find a job anywhere because of her blackballing, but then I guess you know all about that.”
“Yeah.”
The sadness in his eyes at that one word made my chest ache. Badmouthing me was bad, but I never thought being an assistant to an editor or anyone else was anything more than temporary. Being a photographer was what Ethan was. It wasn’t just his job. It was his identity, and Julia had done everything she could to take it away.
Even worse, she’d succeeded.
Suddenly, I wanted Tressa’s plan to succeed even more spectacularly. I still wasn’t sure about the part involving us together, but I believed in the part about getting him back to taking pictures. It’s where he belonged.
I just didn’t know how I was going to do that.
Chapter Fifteen
Ethan
As I stood there on the sidewalk in front of the Richmont hotel, I wanted to tell Summer the truth about everything. That I wasn’t the asshole she probably thought I was. That I had my reasons for not being able to tell her the truth that night.
The problem was then what?
So I did what I did best.
“Well, I better get going. See you around the building, I guess,” I said before walking away from the one person I should have stuck around for.
I thought about looking back to see if she was watching me walk away. I wanted to, but I couldn’t stand to see the expression on her face indicting me for being exactly the asshole I didn’t want to be.
By the time I got back to work, my emotions were all jumbled up and the one that had surged to the forefront was anger. And the person who was going to be on the receiving end of all of that anger I had stored up inside me was my sister, the person who’d created this current issue for me.
I found Tressa behind her desk, as usual. Her claim that she actually had some personal life to keep on the down low seemed particularly suspect considering the fact that she never seemed to leave this damn place. Then again, I didn’t want to think of her that way. Better to keep my anger finely tuned and not let it get diluted with thoughts of her as anything but the manipulative snake she truly was.
Slamming her office door behind me, I launched into the conversation with both barrels. “What’s your plan with Summer, Tress? You trying to be her savior or something? You give her a job and a place to stay? What exactly do you plan to extract from her that requires that level of indebtedness?”
My sister tilted her head up and stared at me for a moment before she let out a sigh. “Why do you always think the worst of me, Ethan? I’m your sister, for God’s sake. Why can’t I just be doing something nice that will benefit everyone involved?”
“Because that’s not who you are. Don’t bother pretending to be all nice and kind. I know you better.”
She pushed her chair back from her desk and folded her arms across her chest, never taking her eyes off me. “It’s not an act. I like Summer. She’s an excellent assistant, to be honest. That Julia Carmon is a fool, if you ask me. And why s
houldn’t I do something nice for Summer like letting her stay at one of our hotels? We have those rooms for exactly that purpose. I told you the other day that I felt it only right. You were part of the reason she became homeless. Why shouldn’t another Stone make reparations for that?”
No way was I buying this act of hers. Nope. I knew Tressa far too well.
“Again, because you aren’t kind enough to want to help anyone for nothing in return. So what’s your deal? First, you tell me you want me to return to photography and you’ll support me with our father, and then you bring my ex-girlfriend around to make things extra awful for me here. Are you hoping that Summer will make me hate being here so much that I go back on my deal with Mom and Dad and then you’ll have this place all to yourself and be the favorite child who can do no wrong?”
Tressa’s expression twisted into a look of disgust. “Actually, I think you like her being around far more than you want to admit. I’m not sure why you’ve been such an ass to her, but let me clue you into something you seem to have missed. I liked her since the night we met at dinner. She’s smart, capable, and beautiful. Why she wanted to spend time with you I have no idea, but I think you better get used to the idea that women like Summer Carmichael don’t come along that often, especially for someone with your history. I think you might find that it’s not a matter of when you might want her back but if she wants you back at all because she has other romantic opportunities. Think on that a bit. Now if you’re done trying to pick a fight with me for the millionth time in our lives, kindly close the door on your way out. I have work to do.”
And with that, my sister left me more stunned than I wanted to admit. I hadn’t thought about Summer and me getting back together, but the very mention of Summer possibly being with someone else made my chest hurt. Was my sister planning on setting her up with one of her executive types she hung out with? I hated those kinds of guys with their three-piece suits and shiny shoes who only seemed to be able to talk about their jobs and how the fucking stock market was doing. I couldn’t imagine Summer with a guy like that.
I didn’t want to imagine her with anyone, in fact. The problem was that I’d fucked things up royally with her and then made things worse today with my behavior in the elevator.
As I made my way out of the building, my sister’s words repeated in my brain, torturing me. She has other romantic opportunities. Other romantic opportunities.
She planned on setting up Summer with one of her friends. She probably had someone in mind already. Maybe that blond haired guy she brought to the house once. But I thought he was gay. Maybe he wasn’t. Christ, I didn’t know. All I knew was every minute I thought of Summer with someone else was worse than the previous one.
By the time I got back to my place, I couldn’t remember how I’d made it home because I’d spent the entire trip from Midtown to the Upper East Side running through every guy my sister knew. The jackass who sat on some board of directors by the age of twenty-four, which made everyone think he was some kind of wonder boy in business. I’d only met him once, but by the time that little get-together ended, I’d wanted to lay him out with a sharp right after listening to him boast on and on about how much his company was worth. His father’s company, by the way, but you’d never know it from how he talked. What an asshole!
Summer didn’t belong with the likes of him. Plus he was short with stubby hands. He didn’t even stand six foot. What was he, like five eight? What kind of kids would they have?
Jesus. I’d never once in my life thought about what someone’s kids would look like, and there I stood in my kitchen drinking a leftover beer lost in thought about Summer and the short jackhole’s future children.
I needed to get my head together, for fuck’s sake.
Maybe if I called Ilsa. I hadn’t planned on getting back to her for a few more days, but I had to get my mind off Summer. That’s exactly what I needed. A beautiful distraction.
I waited as her face came into focus and saw that gorgeous smile of hers. “Ilsa, what’s up? I was thinking about you and figured I should get back with you to talk about those headshots.”
“That’s great! I just got home from a meeting with my ex-fiancé. Can you believe he wants his ring back? He’s so cheap. My lawyer says I’ll probably have to end up giving him the damn thing back, but I don’t plan to make it easy for him.”
And there was that usual Ilsa drama I grew to despise enough that I avoided anything involving her after our last time together. We barely made it to the second call before she began dumping the crazy all over the place.
“What do you say to early next week for those shots? How does Monday night sound?” I asked, completely ignoring her complaining about her engagement ring dilemma.
“That sounds great! Do you want to do it at my place or yours?”
The invitation in her words was unmistakable, but just in case I missed it, she made sure to wink. My kingdom for a woman who understood subtlety.
Strangely disgusted by the barely veiled offer of a night of sex with her, I quickly answered, “Better to do it here at my place. It’s easier, and I have all my equipment here. How about six Monday night?”
Ilsa giggled at my suggestion. “Ooooh, that’s early, but I’m up for it. I remember how you are, Ethan, so I’ll be sure to bring my sunglasses. See you then, hon.”
I pasted a smile on my face until the screen went dark and then rolled my eyes. Her reference to the sunglasses meant she thought she wouldn’t be leaving until the next morning. Not that she came up with that on her own. My past with her was riddled with long nights exactly as she planned, but I had no intention of getting involved with Ilsa Stanton again, and this time it had nothing to do with breaking some fucking provincial fraternization rules. I simply didn’t want what she was offering.
My plan to distract myself with her in shambles, I paced around my apartment trying to think of something else to do besides the one thing I wanted to do. Back and forth from the kitchen, through the living room, and to the bedroom, I walked a path for nearly an hour trying to convince myself that going to see Summer wasn’t a good idea.
It wasn’t. But still some tiny part of my brain kept making it seem like something I should do. The rest of my brain kept telling me I was crazy. No matter how much I wanted to think about how happy I was with her, the reality of my life wasn’t going to change any time soon. This was why I’d stayed single for the past five years. I couldn’t honestly say I could be there one hundred percent of the time for any woman, so better to just be there sometimes and focus on everyone enjoying themselves.
The problem was Summer wanted someone who wasn’t just a good time guy. I thought I could be that, but it turned out I couldn’t be.
And still I found myself driving toward the Richmont Midtown.
I knocked lightly and stood waiting at her door, my mind running through all the possibilities why she hadn’t answered yet. Maybe she was in there with one of Tressa’s three-piece suit guys already. My sister did like to work fast. The image of that short guy with his stubby hands running them all over Summer’s body made my stomach churn until I felt like I’d puke.
Knocking louder the second time, I stood there needing to know if my horrible thought was true. Was she with that guy already?
The door slowly opened, and Summer stood in front of me in a pair of black pants and a green sweater. For a moment, I couldn’t take my eyes off her, but then I remembered about that stubby-handed guy and looked around her to see if she had anyone in the room with her. Thankfully, I saw no one.
“Ethan, what’s going on? What are you doing here?” she asked with a mixture of confusion and panic in her voice.
“I was just thinking about…I was driving down Lexington and thought…”
For some reason, I’d suddenly forgotten how to complete a sentence. The truth was I didn’t know how to explain why I was standing in front of her hotel room door hoping to be invited in.
“I just wanted to see h
ow you’re doing. Can I come in?”
“How did you find me?”
I couldn’t help but smile. “My family owns this hotel. I just asked the front desk clerk.”
“Isn’t there some kind of federal rule about that?” she asked shyly. “I mean, what if I didn’t want you to find me? What if you were some abusive ex-boyfriend who wanted to kill me?”
“I don’t know if there’s a law, but Maia knows I’m not an abusive anything. She’s known me since I was a little boy and came to see my father in the penthouse. Can I come in?”
Summer stepped aside and nodded as she asked, “Your father lived in the penthouse here when you were a child?”
Turning around, I waited until she closed the door and explained, “My father would stay in the penthouse when he had to work late. When that happened, my mother would sometimes surprise him by bringing the three of us down to see him. It felt like an adventure going out at night to the city.”
“Oh, that sounds sweet. I can see your mother doing that. She was very nice the one time I met her,” Summer said nervously as she walked away toward the mini-bar on the other side of the room.
Why didn’t she want to be near me?
“My sister must be trying to pinch pennies. She could have put you up in the penthouse since my father doesn’t stay in the city working late anymore,” I said as I took a few steps toward Summer.
“Tressa mentioned that she sometimes stays late like your father used to, so maybe she keeps the penthouse for herself. I’m not exactly penthouse material anyway, so this is fine,” she said as she searched the mini-fridge for something. “Do you want a Coke? It’s all I have.”
“They didn’t even stock the bar for you? I’m going to have to talk to Maia about that,” I said with a chuckle as Summer’s unease began to seep into me.