Hard As Stone

by K. M. Scott

  Hearing this story broke my heart for everyone in the Stone family. Nina took another deep breath and continued while I listened to what she had to say with a lump in my throat.

  “Diana was in a coma for a week. We didn’t know if she’d make it or not. I can honestly say those were the worst seven days of my life. I watched my one child lie in that hospital bed hooked up to all those machines not knowing if we’d lose her and my other child sit by her side day and night, refusing to leave her because he couldn’t bear the idea of what he’d done to her. She came out of it, thank God, but she had to endure physical therapy for a year to help her walk again since she had a broken pelvis, a broken hip, and two shattered femurs. And then she had to endure all those plastic surgeries to fix what the glass from the windshield did to her face. All the while, Ethan blamed himself for every horrible thing she had to go through.”

  Tears welled in my eyes for both Ethan and his sister. “I had no idea. He never told me anything about Diana. The only sister he ever talks about at all is Tressa.”

  “The two of them have always had a bond he just doesn’t have with Tressa. I don’t know why, and I don’t blame her for feeling left out sometimes. But as bad as it was dealing with Diana lying there in the hospital in a coma, things got worse when we were informed that the police planned to charge Ethan for the accident. He could have gone to jail. I couldn’t bear that, and my husband knew it. So Tristan paid off the owner of the land for the damage, and although he’s never said he did, I think he paid off the local police too so they wouldn’t charge our son.”

  I didn’t know what to say to her as she tried to force herself to smile. I’d thought their family had been so blessed. I never considered that there could be another side to their lives.

  “Please don’t think badly of Tristan for what I just told you. He’s devoted to his family and couldn’t stand to see our son go to jail because of what happened. It was bad enough we almost lost one child. We couldn’t stand the idea of losing our son to prison. But all that did was make Ethan feel like he has to make up for his crime, so whenever Diana needs him, he does whatever he can to be there for her. His firing from Belle wasn’t just because he was with you or any model. He missed shoots entirely because he’d have to fly back to be with his sister when he was supposed to be halfway around the world.”

  Her story stunned me. So that’s who he ran to whenever he received one of those messages.

  “Is Diana okay now?”

  Nina shook her head and sadly admitted what I already guessed. “Not really. She lives in the Richmont in Midtown because she wanted to live on her own, but she can’t really. She’s physically fine, but life for her hasn’t been easy after the accident. She has what some might call PTSD. She’s afraid of so many things that she doesn’t go out without one of us with her. She can do it, but she’s just too afraid. To see her now, you’d never know how horrible the accident was, but she doesn’t see that when she looks in the mirror. All she sees are scars.”

  Diana lived in the Richmont? Had I seen her in the hallway coming or going while I was staying there? I wondered and thought about who she must look like—Ethan or Tressa?

  “I’m sorry, Nina. I had no idea. Ethan never said a word about any of this. He never spoke about Diana at all, in fact.”

  She smiled and gently touched my arm. “He wouldn’t. To talk about Diana would mean he’d have to talk about how guilty he still feels about what happened. We’ve tried to make him see that he doesn’t have to make up for anything, that it was an accident, but he still feels like he ruined her life.”

  I looked away, ashamed at what I had to admit. “We had a big fight the first time we broke up, and then again the other day after we got back together because he wouldn’t tell me who the messages were from and why he had to leave anytime he got one. I feel awful, but I didn’t know and he refused to tell me anything. He just kept asking me to believe him that it wasn’t another woman. I couldn’t, though. I kept thinking it was some model, someone prettier than me that he wanted but couldn’t be with all the time.”

  “You remind me so much of myself, and not just because you have long brown hair and grew up near where I did. I always doubted that Ethan’s father could want someone like me because he was so wealthy and could have any woman he wanted. He didn’t want anyone else, though, but it took me a long time to get over my insecurities. I think you’re a lot like me that way. My son is a lot like Tristan, especially in that I think he wants to be with someone who’s down-to-earth. Maybe he could have models and actresses, but he was never happy until he started spending time with you.”

  I had a hard time imagining Nina Stone as insecure, but maybe when she was younger she was a little like me. I liked that idea, actually.

  “Do you care about Ethan? I mean, really care about him enough to accept that he comes with some real issues that involve his sister that might never get better until she gets better?” she asked pointedly.

  I didn’t have to even think about my answer. “Yes, I do.”

  “Well, I’m certainly not unbiased by any stretch of the imagination, but I care about him too and I’d hate to see him lose out on someone like you because he’s too ashamed to tell you what happened.”

  “I don’t know if he’ll even want to talk to me. It ended pretty horribly,” I admitted sheepishly. “Maybe he’s decided it’s too much trouble being with me. I think he might already be with someone else too.”

  Nina smiled and squeezed my hand. “I know my son, and I’d be willing to bet that never crossed his mind. Knowing Ethan, he’s sitting in his apartment wishing he knew some way to be the brother he desperately wants to be and the boyfriend you want him to be.”

  I hoped she was right because I’d never done anything like I planned to do that night. “Please tell Tressa I had to go. I hope she understands. And thank you. And congratulations on your show!”

  “Nevermind all that. Just go and good luck!” Nina said, pushing me toward the door.

  Without thinking it through, since I knew I’d talk myself out of going, I did as she said. I just hoped I wasn’t too late.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ethan

  For the fourth time that hour, I picked up my phone to check the time. Nine-thirty. The party was still going on. If I hurried and got dressed, I could get there in time to at least make an appearance.

  Christ, I should go. It wasn’t every day my mother had a showing of her work.

  But then I thought about dealing with Tressa and Summer would probably be there since my sister was a slave driver but she had manners. She wouldn’t have had her do all the work to arrange the party and then not invite her.

  I couldn’t handle seeing Summer this soon. Not that I thought she’d make a scene or even start an argument with me. That wasn’t her style. No, it would be even worse than that because she would probably just turn away when she saw me. I couldn’t deal with that yet. A couple weeks, maybe a month. Maybe longer. But not tonight.

  Then again, how shitty a son was I to let my fucked up personal life get in the way of celebrating my mother’s artistic achievements? The woman had never once not supported me one hundred percent whenever I tried anything in life. How could I not at least make an appearance to show her how proud I was? It would hurt like hell since my artistic achievements could be summed up as he took some pictures of beautiful women in nice places, but that wasn’t my mother’s fault. She didn’t deserve to be punished for my bad choices.

  I had to go. No matter how bad it felt to know I’d failed or to see Summer and know I’d never have her, I had to go to my mother’s show.

  After I threw on a grey dress shirt and found a tie that would work with it and my black pants, I took a glance at the mirror and ran my hand through my hair. I may have felt like shit, but I cleaned up nicely. At least I could do that.

  I headed down to the lobby to grab a cab, and while I made small talk with the doorman, out of the corner of my eye I sa
w her. She wore a black dress that made her look as beautiful as any of the models who graced the magazines I’d shot for, and if I hadn’t fucked things up with her, I would have been all over Summer at that moment.

  But I had, so I stood silently pretending she wasn’t there, just as I had in the elevator that day. I knew it was stupid and immature, but I didn’t know what to say.

  The doorman sensed something was wrong and made an excuse about having to go outside to look for my cab, leaving me to face Summer alone. I couldn’t, though. Nothing had changed, and it didn’t matter how much we talked things out. I couldn’t explain to her why I had to leave the first time back at her place all those months ago or why I had to on Saturday at the shelter.

  And that would never change.

  “Ethan, please at least acknowledge I’m standing right beside you. It hurts that you can act like I don’t exist, even though you’re not doing a very good job of it tonight. Your shoulders look like they’re about to swallow your head.”

  I hadn’t realized how tense I felt until she said that, and immediately I relaxed and lowered my shoulders. “I don’t know why you’re here, Summer.”

  “I wasn’t sure I should come either. Where’s the naked woman in the fur coat?”

  At least I had a chance to clear that up. “Nothing happened with her. I didn’t leave because of her. Not the first time and not the other day.”

  “I know.”

  Confused, I turned to face her and saw her smiling up at me. “You know what?”

  She touched my arm, sending a rush of sensation across my skin as my body reacted to her being so close. “Your mother told me everything. Please talk to me.”

  I had no idea what my mother had told her. Whatever it was, I didn’t want to talk about it. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I’m heading to her show, so I’ll ask her when I see her, I guess.”

  My words weren’t those of a man who desperately missed the woman trying to get through to him but those of a dick who spoke like he barely knew Summer. The iciness in my voice was intentional, even though I knew how it hurt her.

  And still she didn’t give up.

  “She told me all about what happened with Diana. It’s your sister who you leave to help, isn’t it? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

  Rage coursed through me at hearing her say she’d heard what I’d done. I never wanted her to know about that. Better for her to think I was some asshole who might cheat on her than someone who nearly killed someone he loved.

  I needed to get away from Summer before I said something I’d regret. Storming off toward the elevator, I left her standing in the lobby and went back to my apartment as my brain whirled with anger and guilt. What the fuck had my mother been thinking telling Summer about Diana? We didn’t tell anyone about her. She knew that.

  As slid my key into the lock, Summer caught up to me. “Ethan, please stop. Talk to me. Please.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. My mother shouldn’t have told you anything. I have to go.”

  I walked in and pushed the door to close it, but Summer followed me. “So this is how we’re going to act toward one another? You tell me you love me and you won’t make me regret telling you I loved you and days later you want to slam your apartment door in my face? Why won’t you talk to me?”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. Whatever you think you know, trust me. You don’t,” I said, still refusing to look at her while I marched back to my bedroom.

  She didn’t stop and wait for me. Instead, she followed right behind and slammed my bedroom door shut behind her. “Then tell me what I don’t understand! Why are you acting like this toward me? What did I do wrong? I know what happened and I came here to tell you I understand.”

  I slid the tie from around my neck and tossed it on the bed before spinning around to face her finally. “You don’t understand. You couldn’t. Now go back to the party and back to your life and leave me alone.”

  Summer shook her head and frowned. “No. I’m not leaving. I deserve to hear the truth from you, at the very least. You owe me that much.”

  Hearing her say she deserved the truth made something snap inside me and I marched over to where she stood. She didn’t want the truth I had to offer because she had no idea. But now she’d get it.

  “You deserve everything you want, Summer. I’m just not the man who can give that to you. I can give you some of what you deserve, but when it comes down to it, I can’t be there when you might need me. I just can’t. You deserve to be with someone who can say he’ll always be there for you. I can’t.”

  My emotions churned inside me like some toxic stew of guilt and rage and sadness. The woman I loved stood right there in front of me, and I couldn’t promise her that no matter what she needed, I’d be there for her. And no amount of money or success or looks would change that.

  Summer reached out and took my hand in hers. Her touch made me want so much to take her in my arms, but I fought against what my heart wanted because my brain knew differently. We’d already tried twice. There was no point in going through that again.

  “It’s okay, Ethan. I know what’s going on.”

  Looking down into her beautiful face, I saw hope in her eyes. I had to make her realize there was no hope for us. “No, you don’t. Whatever my mother told you, she didn’t tell you everything. You should go now. Go and find some stable guy who can give you the life you deserve.”

  “But I don’t want anyone else. Why do you keep pushing me away even though I’ve told you I understand why you had to leave when your sister messaged you? It’s okay. I understand.”

  “Why do you keep saying you understand?” I barked, frightening her. “Because Nina Stone told you something? Well, she didn’t tell you everything. She couldn’t because she doesn’t know. My mother prefers to keep this fantasy up that what happened was just some unfortunate accident that no one could have prevented, but that’s not true.”

  “Then what is?” Summer asked quietly, still clinging to my hand.

  I tried to pull away from her, but she wouldn’t let go. “The truth is way uglier than what my mother told you.”

  “Are you afraid that if I know the truth that I won’t love you anymore? Is that what this is?”

  “I never wanted you to know the truth. I thought I could live in both worlds—the one where I’m happy with you and the one where I take care of the one person I can’t hurt again—but I can’t. This can’t work, so please, just go.”

  “Not until I know the truth, Ethan. I promise if you want me to leave after you tell me the truth, then I’ll go, even though I’ll still be in love with you. That’s not going to change. But I have to know the truth. I can’t spend the rest of my life not knowing why I lost you.”

  “The truth is I’m fucking careless and hurt people. Until I met you, I slept with women simply to get off. I cared enough about them for long enough to get them into bed. I didn’t care about what they felt or what they wanted out of life. They were there to give me what I wanted. Period.”

  I watched for the look of horror to come across her face, but she simply shook her head. “Well, that’s not the truth, and you know it. Oh, I know about the women who came before me. Anyone who can read gossip knows about you and women, Ethan. But you’re not going to chase me away with your past as a man-whore. That’s got nothing to do with the truth I want to hear from you. Tell me what I have wrong about what happened to your sister.”

  Hanging my head, I finally gave in and told her what she wanted to know. “I was careless and she paid for it. She’s still paying for it even today five years later. What happened was no accident. I was screwing around and driving too fast, and even when she begged me to slow down, I just floored it. She started to cry because I was scaring her, and I ignored her because I wanted to show off.”

  “That doesn’t mean it wasn’t an accident, Ethan,” Summer said softly. “You were a punk kid with too much money and a too fast car. You didn’t mean t
o hurt anyone.”

  “When I missed that turn and the car flew into the air, everything went silent except for Diana’s scream. Music had been playing the whole time we were in the car, but no matter how hard I try to remember, all I can think of is the sound of her screaming my name. And then the car landed and all I heard was the sound of metal splintering apart. By the time I found her, she was lying in a heap on the ground, her head covered in blood so she was barely recognizable. She kept saying my name until I reached her, and as I held her in my arms, she begged me to stay and not let her go.”

  I’d never told a single soul what really happened that night. My parents had created a story out of their love for Diana and me that said it was an accident on a dark, winding road, but the truth was what happened had been completely preventable if I hadn’t been so careless.

  “So now whenever she needs you, you drop everything to go to her. That doesn’t make you a bad person, Ethan. It makes you someone who cares about making up for what he’s done.”

  I sat down on the edge of the bed, exhausted from the guilt I felt about Diana and now Summer. “You deserve someone who can be with you one hundred percent. I can’t, no matter how much I wish I could. What I did to her that night means I’ll always have to be there for her.”

  Summer sat down next to me and rested her head on my shoulder. “So you have to be there for her. That’s not a horrible thing. Maybe I’ll feel put out sometimes. Maybe you’ll feel bad, but we can deal with it if we’re honest about things with one another.”

  “You deserve someone who doesn’t have to divide his time. Why would you be willing to take less than one hundred percent of what you should have?”