Saxon's Soul (Haven, Texas Book 5)

by Laylah Roberts

She grumbled but she was too tired to argue.

  “How come you want that side? Is it a Dom thing?”

  “It’s a protection thing,” he replied, brushing his lips over her forehead. “I need to be between you and the door in case someone breaks in.”

  “That’s crazy.” He had some very strange ideas.

  “Go to sleep, Aspen. If you need anything in the night, I’ll be here. Although I’d be willing to bet you’re going to sleep through to morning.”

  She came awake slowly. Her mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, and her eyes were heavy-lidded. It was a huge effort to sit up, and if it wasn’t for her full bladder she’d have been tempted to curl under the covers once more and go back to sleep. She sighed and swung her legs over the edge of the bed then stumbled her way into the small bathroom to take care of her most pressing issue. She looked in the mirror, her hair was sticking up on one side, her eyes were filled with sleep, and there was a red line on her cheek from the pillow. She’d obviously fallen asleep and then hadn’t moved all night.

  She walked back into the bedroom and went to grab the monitor, wondering why the boys hadn’t woken her then realized it wasn’t there. She glanced at the clock and gasped at the time. Ten! What the hell?

  She raced out of her bedroom and into the boys’. Both cribs were empty. Her heart raced. Holy shit. How could she have let this happen? She should never have taken those pain killers last night. They’d sent her off into la-la land. This was all Saxon’s fault.

  Saxon.

  Relief flooded her. Saxon had been here. He’d stayed the night. She blushed slightly at the memory of cuddling into him. She strode out of the bedroom and down to the living area. As she moved, she heard childish giggles, which brought a smile to her face. She walked in to see the boys sitting in two high chairs, the portable kind that attached to a counter or table. They both had banana smeared over their faces and were giggling like loons.

  Jamie caught sight of her first and let out a happy gurgle.

  “Good morning, sweetheart,” she said with a smile, walking over to him to place a kiss on the top of his head. “You look like you’re having fun.” She moved to Caleb, putting her hand on his forehead. No temperature. Thank God. And he was looking much happier this morning. “Hello, baby, are you feeling better this morning?”

  “He seems to be,” a deep voice answered her from behind. She’d been half-expecting it, and still she jumped.

  “Easy, sprite,” he told her, moving up behind her to place his hands on her shoulders. The heat from his body pressed next to hers filled her, and she trembled.

  He ran his hands down her arms. “How are you feeling this morning?”

  “I feel a lot better. No headache. Guess I just needed some sleep.”

  He nuzzled her neck. “I like sleeping next to you. Especially when you snuggle into me and wrap your leg around my waist. You’re much more trusting and open in your sleep.”

  “Y-you really did stay the night?”

  “Oh, yes. You didn’t seriously think I’d leave you with Caleb teething?” There was an almost hurt note to his voice.

  She shook her head. “I knew you wouldn’t. But you should have woken me. It’s late and you’ll be needing to get to work—”

  He pressed his finger to her lips, silencing her. She frowned and tried to move her head to stare up at him. But he kept her still.

  “I’m not working today. So there’s no reason to be concerned.”

  She relaxed and he moved his hand. “You’re having the day off?”

  “Yes, and I’m going to spend it with the three of you,” he said casually as he moved away from her and towards the kitchen. “I thought we might take the boys on a picnic by the river.”

  A picnic? With Saxon? And the boys? She stood there frozen for a moment. That was so . . . so normal.

  He turned and looked at her, eyebrows raise. “Problem?”

  Even though he was still dressed in the clothes he’d worn yesterday, he managed to look as gorgeous as ever. While she . . . oh, holy shit, she looked like a mess. She reached up to smooth down her crazy hair.

  “Aspen?”

  “No. No, problem,” she squeaked out. “I’ll just go get ready.” She turned and rushed out of the room, hearing his low chuckle follow her.

  That was embarrassing.

  8

  She was an idiot.

  She stood, hidden behind some shrubbery, and watched as he climbed into the pool. The lights around the patio gave off enough light for her to view every gorgeous inch of him. Did the man not have any flaws?

  Sure, he did. He was arrogant, bossy, and he always thought he was right.

  He could also be kind, was too clever for her peace of mind, and far too perceptive. And his body, oh, Lord, his body would put most men to shame. And she had an especially good view right now as he was dressed in just a pair of swim shorts. Very short swim shorts. She licked her lips as he dived into the pool. There was barely a splash. The man swam like he did everything else in life, perfectly, with precision, and without hesitation.

  How she envied that.

  Sometimes she felt like she was a mess of anxieties and worries. Fear that she’d mess up with the boys and scar them for life. Afraid that she’d lose her job and would be out on the streets. That she’d reach rock bottom with no way out and fail Jamie and Caleb.

  Money-hungry whore.

  She pushed that voice away. She wouldn’t let Aaron’s mother get to her. Winifred Hartfield had probably never known a day’s hardship in her life. Never worried where her next meal was coming from. But she sure knew how to hate. And the old bitch had thought that Aspen would abort her boys. For money.

  Bile rose, and she took a deep, fortifying breath. They were okay. They were safe. She glanced down at the baby monitor she held in her hand, smiling as she took in her sleeping angels. Weren’t all children angels when they were asleep? Saxon had the cameras installed the day after she’d arrived.

  She looked over at her boss again. What was she going to do with him? When she’d protested the expense, he’d simply given her the look. The one that made her want to slide to her knees and do whatever he asked. Then he’d calmly stated that the boys’ safety was more important than her pride, or did she think otherwise?

  Way too clever for her peace of mind.

  She’d been here for close to two weeks and she felt more stable and happier than she had in years. And she thought the boys seemed happier as well.

  She not only worked fewer hours and got paid more, but they were living somewhere safe. Where she wasn’t worried the boys would get sick or hurt themselves. Sure, Renard wasn’t the easiest guy to get along with, and she often had to bite her tongue, not wanting to argue with him and have him complain to Saxon.

  But she could cope with Renard. What she wasn’t sure she could cope with was her attraction to Saxon. She’d thought if she kept her distance, she’d get over it. But it seemed that wasn’t possible. Especially after the other night when he’d helped her with Caleb then spent the day with them afterwards. Her interest in him had gone way beyond just thinking he was hot. She didn’t just want his body. She wanted more.

  Idiot. He made it clear he’s not looking for more.

  And he hadn’t even mentioned the night at the club she’d agreed to as payment.

  That was disappointing.

  Jesus. She really needed to get her head together. Concentrate on the boys and her job. She peered around the tree at him. She couldn’t believe she was watching him. Like some Peeping Tom. It was so wrong. Yet, she couldn’t stop. She was here night after night, watching him like a sad, lovesick teenager. She really needed to stop. She was supposed to be putting some distance between them.

  Yeah, good job, Aspen.

  Saxon smiled as saw Aspen peek out at him. He knew she’d be horrified to know he was aware that she was there. But there wasn’t much he missed, especially when it came to her.

  She was trying her
best to avoid him. That was pretty obvious. The sprite was good at hiding her thoughts, but he saw more than most. Be interesting to get her into a space where she wasn’t capable of holding back, of thinking about anything beyond him. And the pleasure and pain he intended to dish out in equal measures.

  His cock thickened. Fuck. Had he ever been this interested in an inexperienced subbie before? In any woman?

  Maybe it was her innocence that attracted him. That naivety paired with more courage than someone that small should have. Many people in her situation would have fallen into despair. Would have spent their time blaming everyone else. Not that she didn’t have that right when it came to her shitty mother. Instead, Aspen had picked herself up and moved on with life the best she could. She wasn’t used to relying on anyone else. Or trusting them. That was going to be the tricky part.

  Was it fair to go after her when he had no intention of keeping her?

  You care nothing about ruining other people’s lives.

  He pushed that thought from his mind. His half-brother wasn’t part of his life anymore.

  He’d made certain Aspen knew he wasn’t looking for a relationship. He wasn’t taking advantage. He’d never do anything she didn’t want or agree to. And he could show her what she needed.

  He knew a thing or two about reeling in prey, even cautious little sprites with big eyes, large hearts, and no idea of their own appeal. But perhaps it wasn’t wise to wait too long. Maybe it was time for a bit of a push. He grinned at the thought.

  “Aspen come here.”

  She jolted. He couldn’t possibly know she was there, right? She was hidden behind a large tree. She was perfectly safe. But she started to back away, just in case.

  “Sprite, if I have to come and get you, I’m not going to be happy. And neither will you.”

  Her stomach dropped. Damn him. She found herself stepping forward, moving around the tree to the glass fence surrounding the pool.

  Saxon hadn’t even moved. Had arrogantly assumed she’d do as he’d ordered. And she had. What was it about him that made her want to please him? To see that smile on his face? To know that she’d helped him?

  You’re a sap, Aspen.

  Yeah, apparently, she was a sucker for a drop-dead gorgeous guy with a mouth-watering body and an ego the size of Texas.

  And just maybe a heart to match. Because even though he liked to tell her he wasn’t a good guy, she didn’t really believe him.

  “How did you know I was there?”

  He frowned as he stared up at her. “Come closer.”

  “I need to get back to the guesthouse. The boys might wake up.”

  “Isn’t that the baby monitor in your hand?”

  “Well, yes . . .” Shit. There went that excuse.

  He slid around in the pool, resting his muscular forearms on the side. “Aspen, I know you’ve been watching me these last few nights while I’m swimming. Do you like voyeurism?”

  “What? No! I . . .” Shit. Did she?

  “Hmm, I’m going to take that as a maybe.”

  “It’s not voyeurism, it was just . . . I know I shouldn’t have. I’m really sorry.” Abject misery filled her. What must he think of her?

  Shoulders slumped, she turned away. Why couldn’t she just ignore her attraction to him? It would make her life so much simpler. He was her employer. He was letting her live in his home. She needed to stop thinking of him as anything more, because it was messing with her judgement.

  “Aspen. Stop.”

  She froze. Idiot.

  “I’ll get out of this pool if I have to, but your butt is going to pay the price.”

  She turned, heart racing. “You’re threatening to spank me? Because I was watching you swim? Well, I guess that’s fair enough. I suppose I deserve it.”

  “Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to punish a little sub less. Pet, I’m starting to believe you’re harder on yourself than anyone else could ever be. Come here. I’m not mad about the spying. I promise.”

  He held out his hand to her, his green eyes watching her so intently with no hint of anger or impatience. Just confidence. And warmth. Maybe she imagined that, but she found herself stepping through the gate and walking over to the side of the pool. She stopped about a foot away from his hand.

  “You’re not mad?”

  He grinned. “About the fact that you find me so irresistible you can’t help yourself grabbing a peek at my half-naked body each night I come out to swim?”

  “You’ve known? All along?”

  “Yep. Best part of my day. I’ll miss it when I have to go to work tomorrow night.”

  At the club, with lots of beautiful submissives vying for his attention. Jealousy filled her. Maybe she should . . . water splashed her.

  “Hey!” she stepped back, looking down at the splotches of water on her top. “What was that for?”

  “Just bringing you back to the here and now. I don’t like when your mind wanders. Get in the pool with me.”

  “What? No.” She took another step back.

  His gaze narrowed. Saw too much. Shit.

  “You’re scared of water.”

  “No. Well, not quite.”

  “Not quite? You’ve had a bad experience?”

  “More like I’ve never had much experience at all,” she admitted.

  His eyebrows rose. “You don’t know how to swim?”

  She shook her head. “Believe it or not, learning how to swim wasn’t a high priority in my household.”

  “If I ever see your mother again . . .” he growled in a low voice that had her tummy dancing with happiness. He cared about her. “Well, we need to remedy that. Not just for you but for the boys.”

  Remedy it? “Uh, no, we don’t.”

  “You cannot live next to a swimming pool without knowing how to swim. It’s dangerous.”

  “I think I can steer clear of the pool. I’ll stay on the other side of the fence.” Like she had been before she’d been rudely summoned over. And she wouldn’t be living here forever and she was pretty certain that any accommodation she could afford wouldn’t come with a swimming pool.

  “And what about when the boys get older and want you to swim with them? What then?”

  Fuck. He made a good point. She didn’t want to hold them back or let them down. She glanced down at the dark water. She still wasn’t sure.

  “Aspen, place the monitor next to the pool then strip down and sit on the side of the pool.”

  “Strip down?” she squeaked.

  “You can’t go swimming in your clothes.”

  “But I don’t have a swim suit.”

  “You’ve got a bra and panties on, don’t you? That’s the same as wearing a bikini.”

  Not exactly.

  “Unless you’re not wearing panties,” he said in a low, seductive voice. “That could be interesting.”

  She glared at him. “I’m wearing panties.” She still hesitated. “You’ll teach me to swim?”

  “I will. We might have to adjust our lesson times for when I’m at the club, but I’m going to have you in the pool each day.”

  Somehow when he said that, it sounded almost dirty. Naughty. Her mouth went dry. She could do this. For her boys. She started to strip, blushing bright red when she was left wearing just a pair of white cotton panties and a bra.

  “We have got to have a talk about lingerie.”

  She snorted. “Why would I care what my underwear looks like? I’m the only one that ever sees it.” Until now.

  Her blush deepened.

  “It’s not just about who sees it, but how it makes you feel.”

  She shrugged that off. Lingerie didn’t exactly factor into her budget. It was a want not a need, and she’d never really been that interested in lacy undergarments.

  “Come, sit on the side, dangle your legs in the water.”

  She looked from him to the water.

  “Aspen, I know you’re not used to trusting other people, but can you trust me e
nough to know I won’t let anything happen to you?”

  “I know you won’t.” Everything he’d done so far had been with her protection in mind. Even his threats to spank her. Well, mostly anyway.

  “Then come here.”

  She moved to the edge of the pool and slid down onto the rough tile, dipping her legs into the cool water. God, that felt so nice. The evening was hot and humid, and she longed to get in.

  “Feels good, huh?” he asked with some amusement. “Going to feel even better in a moment. I’m going to pull you into the water.” He put his hands around her waist and she tensed. It might have seemed appealing while she sat there safely on the side of the pool but getting in there was another story entirely.

  “Easy, I’m not going to let you sink,” he told her in a coaxing voice. “I promise, you’re safe with me.” He drew her in, his voice almost hypnotic as he spoke. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, clinging to him tightly.

  “Well, if I’d known a swimming lesson was all that was needed to get you this close to me I would have done this the day you moved in,” he told her.

  She loosened her hold, aware she was being an idiot. He was standing about chest height in the water, that meant she could probably touch the bottom on tip toe and not drown since the top of her head reached his shoulders.

  “We’re just going to move slowly around, get you relaxed and used to the water.” He walked with her wrapped around him. It was an interesting, sensual mix. The coldness of the water against her flushed skin and the heat burning from the inside out.

  “I’m going to turn you around now and float you on your back.”

  She tensed. “What? No.”

  “Aspen.” His voice was low and controlled, but with a hint of steel that had her listening. “You said you trusted me to keep you safe.”

  “I know, but . . .” her voice was almost a whine and she stopped herself. She did. She trusted him. She blew out a breath. “Okay.”

  “Good girl,” he murmured in her ear, his breath brushing against her and sending a shiver of longing through her. He twisted her around so her legs floated out in front of her and her head was on his shoulder. One arm was across her torso, just below her breasts, pushing them up through the water. “Put your arms around my neck and keep them there.”