Renewed Rider: A Lost Saxons Novel #4

by Ames, Jessica

  Copyright © 2019 by Jessica Ames

  www.jessicaamesauthor.com

  All rights reserved. Apart from any permitted use under UK copyright law, no part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

  Renewed Rider is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination and are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or establishments is solely coincidental.

  Please note this book contains material aimed at an adult audience, including sex, violence and bad language.

  Editing by Charisse Sayers

  Editing by Lidia de Jager

  Cover design by Sly Fox Cover Designs

  Cover image copyright © 2019

  Imprint: Independently published

  To all my girls in the clubhouse.

  Your crazy antics make me laugh every day. Thank you for your unending belief in me.

  * * *

  Contents

  THE LOST SAXONS SERIES

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Epilogue

  Also by Jessica Ames

  Excerpt of Match Me Perfect

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  THE LOST SAXONS SERIES

  #1 SNARED RIDER

  Ten days. That was all I had to get through. Then I could go home and forget Logan Harlow ever existed…

  A decade ago Beth fled Kingsley for one reason and one reason only: Logan Harlow. Sure, the man is a sex on legs biker who she wants to jump every time she's within an inch of him, but he's also a thief; he stole her heart and broke it. Now, she's back in town and has no choice but to face him.

  As Sergeant at Arms of the Lost Saxons Motorcycle Club, Logan is no stranger to risk. He's made a career of throwing himself head-first into danger, but when danger comes knocking for Beth he's determined to keep her safe—even if she doesn't want his help. She may hate him, and she may have good reason to, but this time he's not letting her walk away.

  #2 SAFE RIDER

  Rule #1 of getting life back on track: don't fall for a biker...

  A new life; a new start—that was what Liv needed after escaping her violent marriage. Moving to Kingsley was a chance to rebuild what was broken and show the world she wasn’t defeated by her past. No part of that plan involved falling in love with a biker.

  Dean never expected to want the sweet woman living across the street. She’s not his type, yet he can’t stay away from her. When trouble follows Liv, he’s one step behind, ready to defend her because his time in the Lost Saxons Motorcycle Club has taught him two things: how to ride and how to protect what is his. And Liv is his—even if she doesn’t know it yet.

  #3 SECRET RIDER

  For the love of my Club, I’ll give my life. For my love of her, I’ll die…

  A one-night stand: that was all she was supposed to be. She wasn’t supposed to walk into his bar a week later and demand a job. Wade is used to dealing with formidable women but Paige may just be his match. She’s fiery, feisty and he wants her, but before they can be together, he needs to learn what she’s hiding.

  Paige’s life is on a downward spiral. Her money is gone, her ex is in the wind and she’s looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. The only bright spot is Wade. The problem is she’s neck-deep in trouble and she’s not dragging anyone into her mess—least of all a man as good as him.

  But Wade has his own secrets. His Club is testing his loyalties and he’s not sure who he trusts anymore. Digging into his brothers’ lives could put his own at risk, but he needs answers and he’s not going to stop until he gets them—even if it destroys his ties to the Lost Saxons in the process.

  #3.5 CLAIMED RIDER

  The moment I met you, I was claimed by you...

  Liv survived a nightmare. She may have got her happily ever after, but things are still not perfect in her world. How can she prove to Dean that she's his in every way that matters?

  Dean doesn't care about Liv’s past. She’s his in every way that counts. She's in his bed, on his bike and they're building a life together.

  But claiming each other may be a bigger challenge than anticipated.

  #4 RENEWED RIDER

  Betrayal will destroy them, but love will renew them…

  Beth’s life has been turned upside down. Everything she thought she knew is a lie. The people she trusted have betrayed her, the world she grew up in has crumbled to the ground, and out of the rubble, she’s trying to forge something new.

  For ten years, the only thing Logan thought about was having Beth again. He didn’t expect her to return to Kingsley while his Club is in tatters. All he knows is he’ll do whatever he has to do to protect her from getting hurt. Nothing and no one will touch what’s his.

  But the Lost Saxons are more divided than ever before and bridging those gaps is not going to be easy. Beth knows she has to fix things before her family is destroyed and she knows the only way to do that is with Logan at her side. Together, can they renew the bonds of brotherhood and rebuild the club before it’s too late?

  Renewed Rider

  A Lost Saxons Novel #4

  Jessica Ames

  Chapter One

  I’m at the kitchen counter making a cup of tea when I feel him come up behind me. His thick arms wrap around my waist, his huge frame engulfing my smaller one. I melt against his chest, letting all my anxiety drain out of my body as he holds me. Logan is six-foot-four and all bulk, so when he envelops me like this, I feel safe and protected. And I need to feel this so much these days. Things have been… well, a little crazy lately.

  After the Simon Wilson debacle, I thought things would settle down, but then Dean and Wade went on a fishing expedition and caught a pair of traitors, which threw everything back into disarray again.

  Dylan, I wasn’t surprised about. I don’t know him well, but he didn’t seem to fit with the Club, but Tap? His betrayal hurts in ways I didn’t know I could be hurt. I love that man—or loved him, I guess. I don’t know what I feel now. Since Logan told me what he did, I’ve been struggling with my feelings.

  Am I supposed to hate him?

  Am I supposed to forget all the things he did for me in the past?

  I don’t know. I can’t reconcile anything in my head and he’s dead, so I can’t even confront him. I don’t know what happened, all we were told was there was an incident and he died, but I have a fair idea the Club had a hand in it, and that doesn’t sit right with me. Tap betrayed me too; shouldn’t I have had at least a chance to talk to him first before whatever retribution they felt was justified was dealt?

  All I know is all of this shit is swirling around in my head and it’s giving me sleepless nights. Unfortunately, Logan is suffering them too, since he doesn’t seem to be able to sleep when I’m restless.

  “You left the bed.” His tone is worried and a little accusatory.

  “I tried to be quiet. I’m sorry I woke you,” I say, my hands running
over his arms as they rub along my stomach, seeking the warm skin under my camisole.

  The gesture soothes me and my eyes close as I take in a breath. I love my man. I love him so much, the intensity of my feelings scares me sometimes, and I hate that I’m causing him so much concern.

  His face nuzzles into my neck, and I tip my head to the side to give him better access as his nose runs down the soft skin there. A shiver runs through me as needy want builds between my legs, and I grip his forearms tighter to keep my knees steady. He unsettles me in all the right ways, and even as tired as I am, my body stirs to life under his electric touch.

  “I don’t give a shit that you woke me, Beth.”

  He might not, but I do. I can’t keep destroying his sleep pattern because I’m a basket case. First, it was weeks of nightmares after being held in the colliery by Wilson. I just couldn’t get that maniac out of my brain. I kept seeing his face every time I closed my eyes, and hearing that bloody song he was whistling when he came for me and Dean. I was just getting over that, and now I’m having a bout of insomnia because of Tap. It’s not right.

  It breaks through my heady lust, and I stare down at the mug of steaming tea on the counter in front of me, as Logan pulls me tighter against him.

  “Maybe I should sleep in the spare bedroom.”

  At least until this new drama has passed and I can get a full night’s sleep again. I hate waking him with my tossing and turning. I thought getting up would be better, but this is worse because now he’s out of bed, too.

  It’s clearly the wrong thing to say, however, because Logan goes solid at my back. I’m turned in his arms, so I’m facing him. The counter digs into my back, but I don’t pay it any heed because all my focus is on the stormy look building in his dark brown eyes, and it really is stormy.

  Translation: my man is pissed off.

  “Do you want to run that past me again?” His voice is gravelly and annoyed.

  “Logan—”

  His hand comes up, cutting my words off. “Why in the fuck are you talking about sleeping in the spare bedroom?”

  I glance away, unable to meet his hard eyes any longer. “Because this isn’t fair to you.”

  He closes his eyes for a moment, as if seeking patience, and when he reopens them, all traces of his anger are gone. Then he takes my left hand and my ring finger, running his thumb over the diamond. It’s a hell of a rock, almost obscenely sized really, but since he slipped it on my finger after I was taken by Simon Wilson, there isn’t a day I haven’t worn it. It tells the world he wants me. After all these years, he and I are finally where we’re meant to be: together.

  “I put this ring on your finger and my patch on your back to tell the world, to tell you, that you’re mine, Beth. You’re not sleeping anywhere but next to me.” The low growl of his voice is a warning, and a reassurance.

  My breath is shaky as I dip my head and lean it against his chest. “But I’m a mess.”

  “You’re not,” he counters.

  He’s kind to say it, but he’s also wrong. I’m without a doubt a complete and utter disaster.

  Logan takes my hand, his other snagging my tea off the side and guides me into the living room. He orders me to sit. I do as I’m told. Once I’m comfortable, he takes the seat next to me, pulls my feet into his lap and drags the crochet blanket—an engagement present from Dean’s gran, Dorothy—off the back of the sofa and covers us both. I’m not cold, but my legs are bare, as I’m only wearing shorts, so the gesture is cute. It makes me smile that he’s always looking after me.

  His next words are not so cuddly.

  “Talk to me,” he commands.

  “Logan—”

  “Talk.”

  I wrap my hands around my mug as he rubs my feet. In profile, I can’t help but stare at the strong line of his jaw, and the five o’clock shadow that’s moved towards nine and needs shaving. I like the designer stubble look he has going on, combined with the way he keeps his dark hair long enough to curl behind his ears and at his nape. Logan Harlow is a sexy as hell man and he’s mine. Finally. It took me ten years to get him back and I’m not letting him go again now that I have him, but I fear my craziness will push him away.

  He’s also a tenacious man who is demanding answers and if I don’t give him any, he’s going to start getting shirty, so I sigh and say, “I’m just… everything is going around my head. I… can’t stop thinking about stuff.”

  “What stuff?”

  I shrug and then quietly mention the elephant in the room. “Wilson. Tap.”

  Logan stops rubbing, and lets out a long breath.

  “B, we’re all feeling the Tap thing. All of us. He screwed us all over completely, but he doesn’t deserve your sleepless nights.”

  “I know that.”

  And on some level, I do. I realise I probably don’t know the ins and outs of what really happened, only the Cliffs Notes version Logan and the Club told me, but I do know that Tap and Dylan utilised Simon Wilson’s appearance on the scene to cause problems in the Club. The reasons behind that are less clear to me, but I do know they told Wilson where I would be and that was how I was abducted so easily from the hospital, that was how Wade ended up with an abdomen full of lead and how Dean ended up with his own hospital stay. I know Dylan escaped Club retribution, but Tap paid with his life for that betrayal.

  I also don’t know how I feel about that.

  And that is why I can’t sleep.

  I drag my fingers through my hair.

  “I can’t reconcile the Tap I knew with the guy who handed me over to Wilson,” I tell Logan.

  “None of us can.” He squeezes my foot.

  “All I remember is the man who taught me how to do Pythagoras for weeks, who took care of me when Dad was on Club runs, who stood between me and Gina at times.”

  My throat clogs and tears threaten. I don’t let them fall. Goddards don’t cry. It’s not written in stone, but it is a truth. In my entire life, I’ve cried maybe a handful of times, most of which have been in the past few months since I came back to Kingsley.

  Leaving London and my life there was an easy decision. Too easy really. My relationship with Alistair was dead, done. Me and Logan were fanning the embers of our old fire from the moment I stepped foot off the train in Kingsley. This, here and now, was the only logical outcome. I was always going to end up in Logan’s arms again.

  If I knew what was going to happen with Simon Wilson in that old colliery and the chain reaction that culminated in Tap’s death would it have changed my decision to come back?

  No.

  Not at all.

  But it hasn’t been easy. The nightmares have been very real.

  Logan takes my mug from me and places it on the coffee table. He pulls me against him, and I go willingly. I need this man like I need oxygen. I cling to him like he’s my saviour because he is, but I need to be better. Stronger. He doesn’t need me to fall apart. He’s got enough crap to deal with.

  Still, despite this, he says, “It’s okay to be upset, love.”

  “I don’t think I am upset,” I admit.

  And as I say these words, I realise this is the truth. What I am is angry. I’m furious, in fact. Tap was family, and he betrayed us. How do you do that? How do you just turn your back on everyone you loved? I know I left for years, but leaving is different from allowing people you care about to be hurt. Tap’s actions got me, Dean, Wade and Logan hurt—badly. I was nearly killed. If Logan hadn’t arrived at Hazelwood Colliery when he did, I would have been. Wilson had his fingers around my throat and was choking me. Another few seconds and I was done for. White lights, pearly gates—the whole nine yards. I was inches from shuffling off my mortal coil.

  I push that memory down, not able to deal with the week of terrors it’ll bring to my sleep.

  “I want to smack him for what he’s done.”

  “I know, love.”

  “I hate him for it.”

  “I know,” he repeats.


  “And I’m mad that he’s made me hate him.”

  Logan sighs, running his fingers through my hair. The motion soothes me. “Hating a dead man is pointless, Beth.”

  I close my eyes. “And I hate him for that, too, because I hate that he’s dead.”

  Despite everything he’s done, I miss Tap. I miss his stupid face. I miss that crazy red hair that had more white in it these days, and his crap jokes. I miss him. And I shouldn’t miss him because he’s a backstabbing bastard.

  Emotions swirl through me and I struggle to contain them as Logan’s fingers continue to sift through my hair.

  I snuggle against his chest, needing his warmth, needing his bulk, needing him. Logan doesn’t disappoint. His huge arms wrap around me, pulling me against him and engulfing me completely before he resumes stroking my hair. This, right here, is my safe space, my happy place. It’s the only place on the planet I feel whole. How did I do without it, without him, for so long?

  I feel his chest heave up and down beneath me, and the steady beat of his heart, as I burrow against him.

  “You have to remember Tap as he was, before the drink completely addled his brain.”

  This makes my eyes roll. “Tap drank for years, Lo. I’m not buying that as an excuse for what he did.”

  I don’t remember a time Tap wasn’t drunk. Even as a kid, I have memories of the man with a pint in his hand. There is a reason he was coined Tap, for God’s sake.