Providence Series Books 1-4

by Mary B. Moore

  “What are…” she said as I opened the door and slipped inside. Her little nose was red and she was wiping her cheeks with toilet paper. I knew from experience that the stuff was about as soft as aluminum foil, and worried what it would do to her poor face with how hard she was wiping it. When she realized who it was, she turned away from me and leaned over to wash her face in the sink. “I’m just getting ready to leave to get my stuff. There was no need for you to come here.”

  I pulled some hand towels out and waited for her to finish with the basin before passing them to her.

  “Yeah, there was. I need to explain. Ebru, there is no baby; she got rid of it when I didn’t do what she wanted.” Way to go, Cole, just blurt it all out why don’t you?

  “What?” She stopped rubbing her face and stared at me in shock.

  This really wasn’t the place to discuss this shit, like at all. “Listen, can we go for a drive and I’ll tell you all about it?” I wasn’t above begging. In fact, maybe I should start now?

  Thankfully, I think she was in too much shock to argue with me, though, because she gave a slow nod and followed me out of the toilet. Lars looked up and passed over her bag as we walked past, but other than that nothing was said as we headed out to the car.

  “Leave your vehicle, baby. I’ll drive you in tomorrow, okay?” I really didn’t want to be apart from her right now. Knowing that I was going to be spewing the most painful moment of my life very soon made me need the contact with her badly. She must have felt the same way because again she followed me with no questions or arguments.

  I drove us toward the one place that gave me peace, the lake. Parking up fifteen minutes later, I turned to her. “You ready?”

  “Why are we here?” She was looking around her now, having just realized where we were.

  “I have a special place that I want to show you. And I want to be there when I tell you what happened.”

  Nodding again, she got out of the car. The relief that I felt when she reached for my hand was overwhelming.

  Walking through the woods to the area with a large rock that I always sat on when I came here to think, I launched straight into the story. I wasn’t going to leave us both suffering.

  “I met Adele at a friend’s house when I was nineteen. Initially, I wanted nothing to do with her, but back then fun was fun, ya know? And she practically offered it up to me on a plate,” I felt like a bit of a shit for phrasing it like that, but I had been young at the time and any respect that I’d ever had for her was long gone now. Fuck me this was hard. “We were only together for a couple of months, and it didn’t really seem serious to me, so I ended it. Turned out, she’d wanted Ren or Brett anyway because they were the ‘uncatchable Townsends’. Every female wanted to be with them, but they didn’t do commitment.” I started throwing the little rocks around us into the water for something to do with my hands. This was the worst part to tell. “Then she told me she was pregnant.”

  Ebru flinched and went to move away from me, so I continued. “She got rid of it.”

  Ebru

  Every part of me froze as he said those five words.

  “She got…rid of it?” What did he mean?

  “She aborted my baby,” he whispered, his voice cracking halfway through the sentence.

  It took me time to process what he’d just revealed while he went back to throwing small stones into the lake. It was completely silent around us apart from the plink of the stones going into the water and the odd animal noise here and there.

  “You didn’t want her to keep it?”

  “I didn’t have a choice. She just got rid of it.” He sounded so bleak when he said that, that I almost burst into tears. At that moment, I was torn between holding him, throwing up or going and throttling the bitch.

  I always tried to see both sides of the story, and something wasn’t adding up. Maybe there was a problem with the fetus? “Why did she do it?”

  He shrugged, but tensed up even more, so I knew there was more to the story. “Why Cole?” I pressed.

  “Because I wasn’t the Townsend that she wanted. Ren and Brett were what she was really after, and she said she didn’t want to get stuck with ‘Cole Townsend’s bastard’,” he said, huffing out a self-deprecating laugh.

  I was so shocked by what he’d just said that I had absolutely no idea what to say back and just stared at him. He eventually turned his head to look at me, and the look on his face broke my heart.

  “No one else knows about this, do they?”

  He shook his head slowly in response. The poor guy had been carrying this around with him alone.

  “Wait, is that why you passed out drunk here and ended up with…” I didn’t want to kick the guy while he was down, so I just gestured to his crotch. Thankfully this got a small smile from him as he nodded. “I’m so sorry!” I decided to take the risk and put myself out there, so I climbed onto his lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and shoved his head in my neck and I held onto him tightly. I hated that bitch hugely, but I also hated that people thought of him as a clown when that wasn’t the real and true Cole; there was so much more to him.

  I hated making myself vulnerable by talking about the two events from my life that had broken me and that I was still struggling to recover from. I needed to share in return, though, so that he knew, without me saying it outright, that I was invested in this relationship between us.

  “I was bullied from the age of twelve until I was sixteen,” I whispered into his hair. “The only person I had behind me was my sister.”

  He raised his head and looked at me with a ‘what’s that got to do with the price of fish?’ look. “You’ve confided in me, so I want to do the same.”

  “Didn’t your parents stop it?”

  “No,” I replied, shaking my head. “They told me that it was in my mind, that I needed to give out the love to get the love back.” I almost started laughing at the confused look on his face. “They’re pagans,” I tried to explain, but the confusion got even worse.

  “As in no dairy and no meat?”

  I never thought I’d laugh when I told this story, but there was a first time for everything. “That’s vegan, Cole. Pagan’s worship the earth; it’s actually quite beautiful, but my parents only cared about themselves. Louise and I were left to raise ourselves, and God forbid we ever needed anything…” I broke off and took a couple of seconds to clear myself of the hurt that they’d caused both of us.

  “So, when I was in tenth grade, the girls who had been bullying me for four years had finally had enough of me following my parents’ advice, which was to smile and give out love. I had a free period and stopped at the girls bathrooms on my way to the library. I’d heard them come in because they were talking about a couple of the popular guys in our grade so I’d tried to take my time, but they weren’t leaving.

  “When I walked out, they were waiting for me, and I didn’t even have a chance to say anything. The ringleader turned around, and I thought she’d just punched me in the side a couple of times because I felt winded. The other two girls pushed me, and I hit my head off the cubicle behind me and passed out,” fuck I hated this bit. “When I woke up, there was blood all over the floor around me. They’d stabbed me three times.”

  “What the fuck?” Cole exploded, making me jump. “Please, tell me those fucking bitches are in jail.”

  “I had to drag myself out of the bathroom and down the hallway. It was my English teacher who found me; she’d thought the red line down the hall was a prank. I coded on my way to the hospital, and when I woke up, my sister Louise was hysterical. My parents…,” I couldn’t hate them for this anymore because what they’d done to Lou was far worse. “They just said that I would grow from the experience.”

  “I…how the fuck are you meant to grow from someone who tried to kill you?” he spluttered.

  Shrugging, I continued. “They refused to pass over the girls’ names to the police, and when we got home, we released their names
out into the world in the hope that they would find healing and peace at some point in their lives.” I finished.

  “Are all vagrants like that?”

  It took me a second to understand what the hell he was asking me and, proving that he really was an amazing guy, I burst out laughing. “Pagans, Cole. Pagans.”

  “All right then, Pagans.”

  “No, it was just my parents’ way of dealing with it and their viewpoint on life,” his hands rubbing up and down my back relaxed me. I don’t think he even knew how much comfort that simple action was bringing me.

  “What about Louise? Were they the same with her?”

  I wasn’t ready to discuss this with him, so I just nodded. I didn’t discuss Lou with people because every memory that I had of her was mine and I was so protective of her. Even though I trust Cole, I needed to keep this one thing for myself for a bit longer.

  Hugging me closer, Cole rested his chin on top of my head while I sat staring out over the water with my cheek on his chest. After at least ten minutes of back rubbing and silence, he said something that was just typically Cole.

  “It’s a bit sick being a non-meat and animal produce eater and calling yourself a pigeon isn’t it?”

  Chapter 7

  Maya

  I t was six days until my due date and, seriously, Shamu had nothing on me. I hadn’t seen my toes in months, I had to get someone to make sure my shoes were on properly, nothing fit and I felt like the baby was going to drop out of me any second. Ren was driving me nuts harping on about the fact that he was having a son, and the amount of ‘baby shit’ that we had around the place was crazy. Even Isla and Luke didn’t have this much, and they had two. I hadn’t even gotten to buy a majority of it, Ren was like a crazy man buying everything he came across. Two weeks ago, I’d put a ban on his new online shopping obsession, so now he got it delivered to work and snuck it into the house at night.

  Amy had arrived a couple of days ago, and my sister was due to arrive in the next couple of days too. Not having Lucy around was a bit of a blessing because she tended to explain everything in medical terms and in great detail too, and I was one of those people who held the ‘what I don’t know doesn’t hurt me’ beliefs; ignorance was bliss. My parents were flying back after Baby Townsend arrived because Dad couldn’t take too much time away from his position as head of the Embassy in Canberra. Plus, Mom wanted to spend as much time with us as possible which would be cut into if I carried past my due date, so having Ames here was comforting. Every time someone knocked on the door, though, or the door opened, she’d freeze and stare at it. I knew that she was looking for Coleman, but I wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t want to see him or if she did want to see him. I was going to go with the latter.

  “So, did you get butt cherries?” My bitch of a best friend asked as she bit into the sandwich she’d made herself. I’d just eaten a ton of fruit and could feel it settling where my stomach was now lodged in my right lung. How the hell did Isla carry twins?

  “Nope! I’m grape free.”

  “Are you ready for your vagina to expand to the size of a blue whale?” How the hell did she keep eating with that graphic image in her mind?

  I was just about to call her a list of names when Tony walked through the front door without knocking. We were still surrounded by security, but I couldn’t help the quick panic that passed through me. When you’d been through what we had all been through, and you knew that whoever was responsible hadn’t been caught yet, it made it impossible to relax.

  “Hey bitches,” he greeted in true Tony fashion, before bending down to give me a kiss. “Hey, Moby Dick.”

  “Better watch out dude, she might sit on you,” my soon to be ex-best friend said between mouthfuls of whatever the hell she’d put in her sandwich. Her Mom was the worst cook in the world and had raised Amy to put a bit of everything in sandwiches, which were the most edible meals that she made. I was still waiting for Amy to get a sandwich clue.

  “Speaking of which, how’s Ren’s back?” Tony asked, making himself comfortable and opening up the large tube that he’d brought in with him.

  I wasn’t going to dignify that with an answer, so I gave him the middle finger and watched what he was doing until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “What’s that?”

  He pulled out some rolled up glossy paper and then started laying them out on the floor, just as Cole and Isla walked in with the twins. It took me a couple of seconds to figure out what I was looking at, but I recognized Cole’s car with a long rainbow tail flowing behind it as he drove past. The next one was of a huge white unicorn stuck on the hood of his car with ‘my other ride’s a unicorn’ written under it in bubble writing. The shots showed the car driving by in various angles, but my favorite was the one where it looked like the tail was flying out behind it.

  “You bastard,” I heard Cole hiss at Tony over the laughter coming from the four of us.

  “Wh…whe…” try as hard as she might, Amy just couldn’t get out what she wanted to say through the laughter. “We should put it back on and braid it! Or make a horn and attach it to the front,” she laughed out, holding her side.

  “Oh my God! I’ll get my brush,” I said as I tried to get myself out of the chair. “I’ll check that we’ve got glitter too.” And then it happened, the worst bit of being pregnant. I pee’d a little bit. It happened when I coughed, laughed, sneezed you name it, and it was horrifying. “And I’ll check my panties,” I muttered to myself, thankful that Tony and Amy were still laughing as loudly as they were.

  I finally got up from the couch as gracefully and discreetly as someone the size of a rhino could, and went to walk toward the stairs to get cleaned up and changed, when the big mouthed bitch called Amy spoke up. “Ruh roh, did someone go sissy?”

  I was in too much of a hurry to fix my issue, so I just walked away and up the billion stairs that led to our bedroom. I hated Ren for choosing a house the size of a Disney castle just now. No one would ever understand how difficult it was to get to the bedroom, and it was these fucking stairs that led to Ren needing to go to a chiropractor in the first place. Granted I didn’t make him try and pick me up, but I’m pretty sure it was my Jabba-the-Hut ass that caused his back to pop.

  When I walked back into the living room, Cole was sitting there with a shit-eating grin on his face that didn’t bode well for the new pair of granny pants that I was wearing. Another downside of pregnancy, my panties could be seen from outer space and were about as attractive as… I couldn’t think of a good analogy; fucking pregnancy brain.

  Sitting down with a sigh, I decided to just put the asshole out of his misery. “Yes, I pee every time I laugh.”

  He grinned even wider and rubbed his hands together. “Challenge accepted!”

  I was about to reply when Isla cut in. “Oh don’t worry about it, that soon fixes itself. The second they place the baby in your arms, though, you’ll realize that it was all worth it.” Kali started fussing in her arms, so she held him out to Cole who swapped her for the snoozing Dewi; settling Kali instantly. He was also the baby whisperer. “Birth is beautiful…” she stopped as Tony stood up quickly.

  “You don’t know,” he growled, bending over and pointing at her. “You weren’t there! You didn’t see the horror that I saw. You’ll never know the extent of that horror until you’re face to face with a black hole that could suck the Starship Enterprise and the Death Star through it. At the same time! The stretching…” he gulped and stood up straight, swaying slightly. “The…” another savage gulp sounded from his direction. “Canon…”

  I think it was the expression on his face, or maybe the screams that we’d heard coming from Isla’s hospital room that night that most definitely hadn’t sounded like her, but I was laughing my ass off when all of a sudden a gush of water came out of me and I looked down in horror. I mean, Jesus Christ, I’d pee’d while I was upstairs; what the fuck else did my bladder want from me?

  “Hey,” Cole yelled, st
anding up and pointing. “No fair! I didn’t get to do it.” He looked so outraged over what had happened that I started laughing again and more and more of it came out of me. “Just an FYI though, My - that’s fucking disgusting.”

  “Just cause you’re baking in the oven Wilbur, doesn’t give you the right to pee…” Tony started, and then stopped as I gasped and held my stomach as someone tried stabbing me from the inside out. “Oh fuck me, no! No, no, no, no,” he backed away with his hands up in the air, shaking his head desperately from side to side. “Not again, I can’t! Canon…” he was backed into the corner now with his arms wrapped around his waist, rocking slightly.

  “What’s he on about?” Cole frowned in Tony’s direction, watching him like he was a science project.

  Amy sighed and got up, putting what was left of her sandwich on the table. “Right, let’s go!”

  Cole looked between us and then at Isla who was picking up the diaper bag that had replaced her designer purses when she had the twins. “Where are we going?”

  Isla turned back to him and, with patience that I wasn’t likely to ever feel in my life but especially not at that moment, explained, “To the hospital.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Canon…” came Tony’s trembling whisper from the corner of the room, cluing Cole into what had just happened.

  “You’re having the baby? Now?” He questioned, going pale. “But Ren isn’t here. I’m not ready to become a dad. I wasn’t expecting this. I haven’t had time to prepare dammit!” His frantic ramble ended on a yell, waking the sleeping baby in his arms.

  After twenty minutes of talking Cole down from his panic and Amy steering Tony out of the house and stroking his back, we were in the car on the way to the hospital. Cole hadn’t been in any fit state to drive. Once he’d realized what was happening, our security guy Graham hadn’t been in a better state, but he was the safest of the three men to drive so we’d gone with him. Baz was taking Isla and the Babies in the car, as well as the twins.