Prudence and Practicality

by C. J. Hill

With that, the music ended and struck the warning notes of the next dance. Mr. Darcy approached and escorted Eliza to the dance floor amidst much whispering and conjecture at his choice from the surrounding company. It was his first dance of the evening and so far he had been living up to his reputation of being a singularly unpleasant fellow who disliked dances, the country and the people in it. His chief occupation this evening had been to converse with Bingley’s sisters and brother-in-law, and to judge, with sardonic eyes from the outer limits of the dance floor, the dancing of the company.

  Charlotte drifted thoughtfully away to the drinks table after noticing that her friend and her partner appeared to be evenly matched in their dancing abilities, if not in conversation; both were noticeably uncomfortable at being on show but appeared elegant and superior to all of the others in the line.

  Once again Mr. Darcy had singled out Elizabeth and this time, instead of merely speaking with her, had asked her to dance when he clearly detested the activity. Charlotte secretly hugged this latest morsel of information to her as she met her father at the table and filled his glass with punch.

  “What do you think of the evening, father?”

  “I don’t know when I have seen a better one, my dear! So elegant and refined! Such sparkle and wit to be had; I feel that I could be in London this evening. Some prudent matches could be achieved here tonight, mark my words.”

  Sir William drifted off to improve his evening with more society talk with the Bingley ladies who were obviously in need of company having lost both of their menfolk to the dance floor.

  Charlotte then found herself in the midst of a conversation with her mother who, it appeared, was tired of hearing from her friend about her expectations now for both Jane and Elizabeth; she certainly could not see why there was so much excitement over Mr. Collins – a very dreary fellow from her observations – and too much caught up in his own importance with an irritating manner which was hard to suffer. Lady Lucas publically wished her friend well in her endeavours, but secretly hoped that all would not work out as Mrs. Bennet anticipated.

  An agitated Elizabeth approached their table after collecting a glass of punch for herself and Charlotte, and sat down by her friend.

  “Charlotte, I am quite incensed! Do forgive me: I have just been accosted by Miss Bingley and she has spoken about Mr. Wickham in the most derogatory manner! Her insolence in assuming she can interfere and accuse him without knowing the whole story! Even Mr. Bingley is of the same opinion as Miss Bingley. It is intolerable that Mr. Wickham can be slandered without being here to defend himself. I am sure that if he were here, they would not be so quick to blacken his character!”

  Elizabeth tried to calm herself by looking around the room as Charlotte formulated her response, but Elizabeth’s eyes fell on the main object of her displeasure which only increased her anger at the misfortune of Wickham.

  Charlotte attempted to diffuse the situation.

  “But is it not possible, Elizabeth, that Wickham’s account of himself might not be entirely true? You know it would not be unusual for him to dissemble if he is at all interested in your good opinion. Surely if the Bingleys and Mr. Darcy have known him before this, they must know more of him than you can in only one week.”

  Elizabeth tutted angrily but as she did not want to enter into an argument with Charlotte, allowed that it may be, perhaps, but that Wickham had all honesty and openness about his face when he told her his history; she preferred to believe him until it was proved by a disinterested third party to be false.

  Charlotte then proceeded to improve her friend’s mood by jesting about her dance with Mr. Darcy - what a complementary couple they had appeared on the dance floor! What an honour to be so singled out! To which Elizabeth had many a jibe in retort. The least of which was that Mr. Darcy wanted in every accomplishment other than dancing which, she allowed, he managed far better than her cousin; but, Mr. Darcy had no conversation, no natural ability to flatter and was unable to speak about anything except in minimal sentences. His partner skills were thoroughly dissected by Lizzy and found wanting in every way. And when challenged about Mr. Wickham, he had not defended himself, which to Lizzy, confirmed his guilt. She would not allow him even one commendation.

  Charlotte, for her part, found even more curious the fact that Mr. Darcy had not returned to the dance floor since, preferring to remain, again, on the edge of the room watching the dancing with his London friends. Extremely curious behaviour!

  As Elizabeth finally regained her composure and finished her diatribe on Mr. Darcy, Charlotte saw a look of horror pass across her friend’s face which quickly was hidden behind a false smile. Grabbing Charlotte by the arm, Elizabeth swung her around to come face to face with Mr. Collins who was holding two glasses of punch and smiling in anticipation of joining their conversation.

  “Charlotte! May I introduce to you my cousin, Mr. Collins, who is late come from Hunsford in Kent where he is an esteemed parson and close advisor to Lady Catherine de Bourgh of Rosings Park. Mr. Collins has been staying with us this past week -I believe I might have mentioned him to you, Charlotte?

  “Mr. Collins, may I introduce to you my most intimate friend, Miss Lucas, daughter of Sir William and Lady Lucas of Lucas Lodge.”

  Both parties bowed solemnly to each other and Charlotte broke the silence before Mr. Collins could launch upon one of his interminable speeches about which she had heard so much from Eliza.

  “And how do you enjoy Meryton, Mr. Collins? Have you visited much of the area during your stay?”

  “Miss Lucas, I am so charmed to make your acquaintance! Any friend of my dear cousin is certainly a friend to me. I am enraptured with all that I see both outside and within the homes I have been permitted to enter.”

  At this he turned slightly to smile with significance at his cousin.

  “I have been in the company of my amiable cousins all this week; they have shown me the sights to be seen in the area and have been so kind as to introduce me to members of their family and their acquaintance. It has been a most interesting and eventful week, and this ball, of such great taste and elegance, is something which I rarely have the privilege of attending as, you may imagine, my work dictates a great deal of time being spent in the preparation of sermons and attending my parishioners as required from a man of my standing.”

  Charlotte smiled politely and looked questioningly at her friend, who was caught looking elsewhere.

  “My patroness, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, of Rosings Park…” Mr. Collins continued, happily oblivious, as Elizabeth excused herself before she heard the story a tenth time and Charlotte stifled a smile.

  “…oh, excuse me my dear cousin! Of course! I will attend you later. Now where was I? Ah, yes, my patroness is extremely determined that I should attend to all my duties with her help and knowledge. She is a most caring landowner and employer and could not manage without my knowledge and sensible assistance, she tells me, as the cases brought to her attention are numerous and sometimes complex. She is a most conscientious lady who always endeavours to improve and act upon crises as they arrive.”

  Mr. Collins continued in this vein for what appeared to be an interminable length of time to Charlotte, but actually only occupied the space of ten minutes, before Elizabeth returned, out of sympathy for her friend.

  Much overjoyed, taking Elizabeth’s return to be a reflection of her esteem for him, Mr. Collins changed his topic to include his most recent important discovery. He had discovered, just this evening, that a nephew, no less, of Lady Catherine was in attendance at this ball!

  Looking at the two ladies expectantly, Mr. Collins waited for them to ask who this esteemed personage could possibly be.

  Charlotte noticed a singular lack of interest from her friend and so provided the encouragement he so evidently sought.

  “Indeed! That is certainly a coincidence! Who could that be, sir?”

  Mr. Collins was sufficiently gratified.

  “Why, none other than
that man who stands over there with his friends! Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy is the man of whom I speak. He is Lady Catherine’s nephew. I accidently overheard a conversation between him and Miss Bingley and it included references to my patroness which alerted me to his lineage.

  “I feel it is my duty to introduce myself and inform him of the excellent health of his aunt only a week ago, yesterday!”

  At this, Elizabeth snapped to attention with alarm at such an imprudent suggestion. She tried valiantly to dissuade him from such a scheme; surely it would be impertinent rather than complimentary to do such a thing without a proper introduction?

  Mr. Collins listened patiently to her reasoning with a superior smile upon his face but remained determined to act upon his initial instinct, regardless of her entreaties.

  “My dear Miss Elizabeth, please be assured that your concerns are the concerns of the laity; they do not constrict the affairs of the clergy. We have access to all levels of society due to our education and standing with not only the poorest of our flock but also the richest. This will always make our presence in any society desirable. I should not feel I had done my duty if I had not spoken with a close relation of my patroness simply because of a misguided sense of propriety.

  “Please excuse me,” he bowed deeply to both Elizabeth and Charlotte, “I will desert you for a limited time only, I assure you, and I thank you for your obvious concern over my situation. I will disregard your judgment, if I may, cousin, on this occasion, although I may well wish to be guided by your advice in other matters in the future.” With a significant look at Lizzy, Mr. Collins wove his way around the dance floor to where an unsuspecting Mr. Darcy was deep in conversation with another of his London friends.

  Charlotte and Elizabeth watched in astonishment as they saw the pompous man make himself appear ridiculous to such a man as Mr. Darcy. Mr. Darcy, for his part, clearly could barely conceal his wonder as he listened to Mr. Collins speak about his aunt’s health; Charlotte could imagine the exact words that were being spoken, and watched, along with Elizabeth, the growing irritation on Mr. Darcy’s face until he bowed abruptly to Mr. Collins and left him, apparently in mid-sentence. Elizabeth was mortified.

  “How could he impose himself like that? He is truly the most humiliating man I have ever encountered! His arrogance is astonishing – to approach Mr. Darcy without an introduction. How embarrassing to be connected to him by family!

  “He is seeking a wife you know, Charlotte, he said as much to father. How could anyone ever agree to marry him? Lady Catherine has advised him to find one and mother seems intent on him marrying one of us! It shan’t be me, I can assure you of that! I don’t care if it means we shall lose Longbourn.

  “Mary would have him; they would be perfect for each other. They can read sermons and be entertained by the other’s wit and pomposity!”

  “He pays much attention to you, Elizabeth. I would advise you to prepare your refusal as soon as may be. He does not remain at Longbourn for much longer, I understand, and I am sure he expects to have a marriage settled before he leaves Meryton.”

  Elizabeth smiled at her friend’s gentle advice.

  “Yes, Charlotte, you are right. Fortunately I, too, try to prepare those little speeches which may be used for such occasions, but I like to give them as unstudied an air as possible!”

  Both ladies laughed with ill - concealed merriment at their personal joke, causing those nearest to them to interrupt their conversations and regard them with an interested air. The two friends linked arms and walked into the supper room.

  Here, again, was all merriment as the wine and food had been flowing for many hours. Conversation was pitched high to overcome the other conversations and therefore, everyone was experiencing great difficulty in transferring their observations to anyone more than a seat away. Charlotte saw her mother was again entrapped by Mrs. Bennet who, although several seats away from her friend, was still continuing her thoughts on marriage and Mr. Bingley, Jane, Elizabeth and Mr. Collins at the top of her voice. Not only was Lady Lucas forced to hear Mrs. Bennet’s triumphant expectations, but also many others at the table were party to them. Charlotte went to sit by her mother in order to avert the conversation a little, and Elizabeth felt it prudent to try as she could to stem her mother’s flow of conversation, to no avail. Once Mrs. Bennet started on an animating subject she would not be diverted. Indeed, once she had exhausted her hopes and thoughts on that subject, she then responded to Elizabeth’s request to lower her voice as she was being overheard by Mr. Bingley’s friend, Mr. Darcy, by insulting him as someone whom she did not fear and proceeded to malign him and his lack of civilities in an equal manner.

  Elizabeth was shamed, more so than when she danced with Mr. Collins. Charlotte watched as her friend was humiliated again, this time by her mother but could do nothing to alleviate her suffering. Charlotte sat with her mother and tried to engage her away from the utterances of Mrs. Bennet by discussing the event of the evening, namely her meeting with Mr. Collins, at which her mother sniffed most profoundly, saying she wanted to hear no more of that man, if you please, and Mr. Darcy’s dance with Eliza was not a subject to be discussed openly either. Mr. Darcy had formed a suitably austere personality in most minds that they were not so daring as to discuss him publicly; however, behind a fan or delicately raised hand much was being discussed and reasoned. Lady Lucas preferred to ask what opportunities her own daughter may have encountered that evening. She was to be disappointed.

  “Mamma, pray do not presume again on this topic. I have many times informed you of my opinion, and as early as this very evening I warned you against hopes of that nature. I have enjoyed my share in the evening but more than meeting Mr. Collins briefly, and Mr. Darcy even more briefly, and with neither, due to their attentions to my friend, could I have improved upon my situation should I have wished to. I am, and expect to be, your daughter who remains at home and can not consider my fate to be otherwise.”

  Lady Lucas patted Charlotte’s hand in comfort.

  “I know it must make it hard for you to watch every other young woman taken to dance and paid compliments; it is not as if you are unattractive, daughter, and with your accomplishments you would make someone a suitable and useful wife. If only you would comport yourself more to the expectations of men, perhaps they would consider you to be more compatible.”

  Charlotte laughed as she watched Mary, Eliza’s younger sister, approach the piano and prepare her sheets of music.

  “My accomplishments, indeed, mother! I do not sing, I do not play, and I am utterly disinterested in foolish talk or coyness in the capture of a husband. You would have me hoodwink some poor fellow by pretending what I am not? How disappointed he would be when he learns the truth.

  “Observe Mary, if you please. She has attempted to improve herself in the accepted manner through study of The Bible and piano but does that make her more attractive in the eyes of her beholders? I think not. She feels that her work, however incompetent, should be acknowledged because she has followed convention; she shows her incompetence everywhere she is allowed to but to no avail. Listen to her husband-catching accomplishments! What good does it do her? Allow, mother, that at least I do not aspire to give pain to all whom I encounter through my accomplishments!”

  At this her mother could not disagree and, concealing a smile of satisfaction, allowed that in Mary, at least, Mrs. Bennet could not expect any fortunate circumstances ending in marriage.

  The ball continued through into the night; candles burned low, new acquaintances met and discussed, fashions discussed and intimately dissected, dances counted as significant or not, chaperones yawned widely behind fans, and mothers kept up a constant vigil over the fates of their offspring. Trains ripped under dancing feet, men’s faces were made ruddy by indoor exercise and jackets were cast aside, and musicians stretched tired fingers and arms.

  Through all this Charlotte watched the constant tide of revellers from a safe distance; a distance that had been
imposed upon her for several years now. She no longer expected to dance, and for the most part was happy not to do so. Several times during the evening she had the questionable pleasure of being Mr. Collins’ confidante and had received many thankful nods and smiles from her friend for this great service. Charlotte found him to be just as Eliza had described but even more so as the evening wore on.

  He talked tirelessly on any subject; there was nothing about which he was not of an opinion, and could expound his thoughts to a compassionate audience for great lengths of time. Charlotte was that compassionate audience; she had the patience and the understanding of what kind of man he was - not very intelligent but one who desperately wished to be so. Someone who had been educated a certain amount but not sufficiently enough to propel him with complete confidence into the upper echelons of society. His good luck with his recent promotion had merely puffed his pride and increased his self-conceit; it certainly did not suddenly confer a superior intellect upon him. She heard a passing reference to his father, who appeared to have been no positive influence upon his son and about his education at one of the universities - information passed on more for the consequence of the speaker than the interest of the listener. It implied, rather than confirmed, him being one of a select educated body with many equally educated acquaintances. Charlotte regarded her conversation with Mr. Collins as an interesting edict on how true intelligence could not be bought or forced; intelligence had to radiate from within. Mr. Collins, she decided, did not radiate much of any thing.

  Eventually the evening wore itself out, and coaches and carriages were assembled at the front doors according to importance. Lady Lucas was openly content that theirs was one of the first to arrive, far in advance of the Bennet’s. Her satisfaction being short-lived as Mrs. Bennet was engaged in noisy conversation with Mr. Bingley and did not notice the affront to her situation. Wearily, the Lucas family drove home amid much tired chatter and comparisons of the evening.