The Demon

by Hubert Selby Jr.

  But these are not the only reasons I recommended Davis for the position. You see, I have not changed my opinion and/or the evaluation of your ability. I think you have unlimited potential and can be a great asset to the firm. A great asset. But you are going to need a change of attitude to realize that potential, and I am hoping that this will shake you up enough to realize that you are jeopardizing a great future and that you will change your attitude.

  I believe in our firm. I believe in it completely and absolutely. We are growing and will continue to grow as long as men are willing to dedicate their lives to it and give their absolute loyalty to it. Theres no other way. It is all in the attitude,

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  Harry. And I want you to be the asset I know you can be. Being passed over for a junior vice-presidency now is nothing, if you will just take my advice and change your attitude. You got me?

  Yes . .. yes I have, Mr. Wentworth. I—

  Good. Think over what I said. You know, Harry, someday you will thank me for this. You will look back on this day as the turning point in a spectacular career, Harry nodding his head and blinking his eyes rapidly. O.K., end of lecture. I will see you tomorrow.

  See me tomorrow, going back to his desk and plopping in his chair, his eyes still blinking rapidly, the twisting ball still bouncing from his gut to his throat and lodging and tugging, see me tomorrow. Some day youll thank me for this. What kind of shit is that? Who the hell does he think hes talking to? I break my back for him and look what he does. . . . O screw it. He went to the mens room, pissed, splashed some cold water on his face and killed a few more minutes until it was time to leave.

  The science fiction books didnt seem to help much during the ride home, as he wondered who Wentworth thought he was coming on so high and holy. You/d think I was the only one who played around with the broads. Who is he to talk???? Yeah, who are you to cast the first stone, you and your public relations team. . . . Ahhh, screw it ... its not the only job in the world . . . they need me more than I need them . . . just see what happens if I dont take care of the work . . . yeah, how long would Mr. junior veepee last then ... ah, I dont know ... I cant seem to figure . . . shit! What the—why cant they just get off my back . . . ahhh . . .

  Tony, Mike and Steve were going to the ball game that night, so Harry went along with them. From time to time, during the night, Harry would find himself reaching down into the dark hostile corners of his mind to abuse Wentworth and let him know what an asshole he was, and he was going to

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  show him, but he had already dissipated a lot of his energy, and found himself partially involved in the excitement of the game, and so that inner hand was unable to bring the hate up into the light of the night.

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  4

  It was a perfect day for an outing, and the Wooddale Country Club was the perfect place. There was an eighteen-hole golf course, sunken gardens, a huge pool, impeccable grounds surrounded by pleasant woods, and all the other facilities and amenities of an exclusive country club.

  Most of the others sat around the tables in the sun, or on the shaded patio. A few were on the tennis courts and Harry watched them for a while, then drifted along the fringe of the wooded area.

  He enjoyed the time alone, not because it made him feel any closer to the trees that surrounded him, the birds that chirped and flew through the branches, the green spotted earth under him or the sun and blue sky over him; nor because of a fear of people or an inability to socialize—he had no real problems in that area—but rather he enjoyed the self-satisfied feeling he

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  experienced as he looked around at the vastness of the club, knowing there were people throughout the grounds involved in various activities and feeling that they were aware that he wasnt there and were wondering where he was.

  He stood in the shadows of the trees and looked out at the bright sunshine on the sloping grass that ended at the sunken gardens and the edge of the pool, a feeling of power surging through him. He half-closed his eyes and looked at the images within him, feeling the destiny that would bring him the money, property and prestige he desired and knew he would have someday.

  The line between the shadows and the brightness was sharp, and the transition abrupt as Harry stepped into the almost tangible substance of the sunshine. He could feel the suns heat on his face while still feeling the coolness of the shadows on his back, but by the time that brief instant registered on his consciousness, it had passed and he was feeling the suns brightness and heat on his back too.

  He walked toward the pool, where half a dozen or so people were lying around, swimming, or stretched out in the sun. As he got closer to them, he noticed a girl in a bikini standing alongside the pool and could feel himself staring at her. He could hear the voices of the others, the sounds of tennis from the courts a few hundred yards on the other side of the pool, the occasional yell and splash of someone jumping into the pool, yet he was completely preoccupied with the girl in the bikini and the way her boobs seemed to ooze out of her top and the way the bottoms seemed to hang miraculously from below her hips in a narrow band just under the slight swell of her belly. . . .

  He stared at the water dripping down to her navel and thought of a keyhole and blinked from the brightness of the sun and the electrical shocks of his lust. Krist, he/d like to ball her right there, right now. She took her bathing cap off and shook her hair loose before lying down on a towel beside the pool. He could tell her pubic hair was thin and did not cover a large area.

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  He stood so his shadow covered her body. She opened her eyes and raised her head slightly. Youre in my sun.

  O, Im sorry, and he stepped aside and watched his shadow slowly slide across her body and onto the grass. Theres nothing worse than a sun stealer.

  Thanks, smiling, eyes still closed, right now Im primarily interested in getting dry before lunch.

  Well, with the sun the way it is and a suit like that, it shouldnt take long—

  Hi Harry. Why dont you come in. The waters great.

  Hi Steve, Joan, waving his hand, not right now. I/ll wait till after lunch—

  For some reason, frowning, Im confused about that business about drying and the suit.

  O, well, I only meant that its the suit that takes the longest to dry and you dont have that much suit to get dry, the laughter in his voice obvious and she responding to it with a chuckle.

  You no like?

  O, on the contrary, laughing and squatting beside her. Im Harry White. I dont believe Ive ever met you.

  Im Linda Sorrenson, turning her head toward him and opening one eye, Im Mr. Donlevys new secretary. I only started a couple of months ago.

  You have been with the firm for a couple of months and I havent seen you before? My God, I must be going crazy. I/ll never forgive myself. Where have you been all this time?

  Right at my desk where I belong, turning over on her stomach, her head turned facing Harry and looking up at him and smiling.

  Well, I have an idea Im going to be involved with Donlevy quite a bit in the future. She chuckled and Harry looked across the grounds toward the buildings. It looks like theyre getting ready for lunch. Maybe we should start strolling over.

  O, I dont think I want to bother. Im a light eater.

  You dont have to worry about that, laughing.

  O, yes I do. Its not easy to stay bikini size.

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  Well, you should come along anyway. If nothing else, youll like the way they lay it out.

  Really?

  Yeah. Its a buffet and it looks lovely, standing and stretching for a moment, youll like it, believe me.

  She looked up at him for a moment, then rolled over. O.K., youve talked me into it.

  Harry extended his arm and she grabbed his hand and he tugged her up, her momentum stopping her just inches from him. You look familiar, smiling at her.

  Not too familiar, I hope, taking her hand from his and rolling her bathing cap in her to
wel.

  They walked across the grass, Harry walking beside her, part of him following and watching, his eyes caressed by the swing of her hips and ass as they flowed with her movements.

  They sat on a shaded patio and ate their lunch, some of the others sitting at tables in the area, but most of them remaining in the air-conditioned dining room. Louise and Rae joined Harry and Linda, setting down plates that were filled with a variety of foods.

  You dont mind, do you Harry?

  Do you have a reservation, smiling at them.

  Of course he doesnt mind, Louise, why should he want to sit alone with a beautiful young girl? Oi, I hate you already, Linda looking a little surprised, such a cute figure, Harry and Louise laughing. Even before I was a grandmother I didnt have such a figure.

  Have another blintz and relax.

  Harry, you should only plotz. They all laughed and lunch continued amid the clicking of fork on plate and laughter.

  After lunch Harry put on his trunks and joined the others around the pool. He jumped in and swam to the other end and stood beside Linda. You look vaguely familiar, smiling through the water trickling down his face.

  Not too vaguely, I hope.

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  O, not at all. Not at all, and he splashed her and she splashed him and they tumbled around in the water laughing.

  Someone came up with a beach ball, and the swimmers formed a large circle in the pool and the ball was tossed up in the air and knocked from one to another, the first one to miss being dunked by the others. Most of the players tired of the game after a while, and Harry continued to fool around in the pool with Linda.

  Davis and his wife joined the others, and when Harry first noticed them walking toward the pool he felt that twinge twist his gut and he stood still with the water just under his chin, moving his hands to help maintain his balance, feeding the churning in his gut and staring at them, automatically and unconsciously sizing up the wife with her obvious inches of flab strapped in her one-piece suit, sneering at Davis, already going to pot, and his skinny hairless legs. But she isnt so bad, not bad at all, especially when you consider shes had some kids, and a little belly aint bad, as long as they dont have any wrinkles in their ass—

  Hey Harry, get out of the way, Harry not hearing a sound, you deaf or something?— Yeah, thats not a bad idea . . . Ive never fucked a junior veepees wife—

  Hey move, tugging his arm, Harry turning and looking at Linda questioningly, they want to race.

  Huh???? O, moving to the side of the pool with Linda.

  You must have some very strong powers of concentration.

  What?

  They were yelling at you and you didnt hear a word.

  Im studying Yoga, smiling at her and watching the Davises out of the corner of his eye. He helped her up onto the side of the pool, then joined her just as the swimmers dove into the pool and raced toward the other end. There was cheering and yelling for a moment, and it separated Harry from the Davises.

  Want to get out and lie in the sun?

  In a minute, looking at Linda and feeling his face smile,

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  but not really feeling a part of that smile. I want to get a few kinks out.

  Linda left, and Harry lowered himself under the surface and swam to the other side of the pool, then swam the length of the pool a few times, feeling a small knot of energy that he sensed he had to exhaust, and halfway through the third lap he could feel it dissolve, so when he reached the end of the pool he hiked himself up and out and joined Linda.

  He stood over her dry back and let a few drops of water splash on her.

  Ooooo, thas cold, you rat, twisting over and away from the water.

  You spend an hour in the water and then scream when you get two drops on you, laughing and sitting beside her.

  That is funny, isnt it? laughing and readjusting herself on her towel.

  Boy, that was good, stretching out on his stomach and looking at her face cradled on her arms only a few inches away from him. A good swim is just about the most relaxing thing in the world.

  Yes, it is. It makes you feel kind of dreamy, her eyes closed, her smile in her voice. You sound like youre going to sleep. Hhhmmmm. Wake me up in a little while so I can get some sun on my front too. Whats a little while?

  O you know, when Ive had enough sun on my back. O, O.K., aware of the nearness of her, and smiling. Harry didnt sleep, but he drifted within himself, hearing, but not really listening to, the sounds of swimmers and others around the pool, their voices blending in with the noises to form almost a single sound, with different parts, that absorbed the surface of his mind as did the Forty-second Street movies; and Davis and his wife were not allowed to enter his mind, his senses filling that part of his mind, and he was drowsily aware of the feel of the sun on his back, the smell of the grass and earth and the feel of them and the towel under him, the brush

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  of flies and other insects that investigated his back and legs, but mostly of Linda and the feeling of her lying next to him, feeling that same sun on her back and the little bugs leaving his skin to touch hers, and the smell of dampness that floated from her as she stepped from the pool, the smell of water and skin and air that mingled together to excite him and stay within his mind even now when the sun made dampness a thing of the past.

  He remained consciously involved in these feelings and sensations, and then he slowly became aware of something else, of another feeling ... a feeling of relaxation. He sort of chuckled within himself as he realized he did not feel like this when he said a swim was relaxing, but he did now. Thats funny. Funny too how you can know theres a whole lot of people around you, yet you can feel distinct from them. Nice to float and drift and feel the ground under you. . . . Really nice. . . .

  Good water . . .

  nice sky . . . and trees....

  He

  heard Linda take a deep breath and sigh slightly as she rolled over onto her back.

  Time to move ?

  Huhmm.

  How come?

  The back is done, and she smoothed out a place for her head by moving it back and forth, then settling in her little niche.

  Well, I guess its time for me to roll over too.

  Harry could feel the brightness of the sun on his eyelids, but soon adjusted to it and started to drift down into the hollow of sleep within him, and he droned deeper and deeper within himself until the drone was almost silent, then wake-fulness suddenly jabbed him. He squinted his eyes open and rolled over onto his side. He could hear that no one was in the pool, and it was much quieter than before. He looked around

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  and noticed that most people were lying in the sun and a few were playing cards.

  Time to get up.

  Hmmmmm, stirring.

  Youd better get up if you dont want to get baked.

  She rolled over on her side and half opened her eyes, then blinked them rapidly and tried opening them again.

  I thought you had some sort of built-in timer so you wouldnt stay in the sun too long.

  I havent been in too long.

  Yeah, but if I didnt wake you, you wouldve been burned to a crisp.

  Well, I didnt say exactly how I would wake up, did I? smiling, there are all kinds of alarm clocks.

  O, I see, laughing, you set my timer.

  Well, you did wake me up when I was done, joining him in laughing—

  Hey Harry, how about some rummy? You too Linda, we need a couple of hands.

  Harry looked at Linda and she answered with a why-not shrug and expression, and they joined the others and sat around the towel that was being used as the playing area. Do you know how to play five hundred, Linda?

  I think I remember.

  I see youre keeping score, Tom.

  Naturally Harry, what else? They laughed and chuckled as they played, and halfway through the game the women changed places so they would be evenly exposed to the sun.

  When the game was over, which To
m won amid yells of fraud and demands to have the score sheet audited, they went, along with the others, to dress for the cocktail hour and dinner.

  When Harry got to the bar, Mr. Wentworth called him over and introduced him to Mr. Simmons, the president. Its good to meet you, White. Walt here has been telling me some good things about you, an arm around Harrys shoulder, and I like to make a point of meeting, and getting to know,

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  our up-and-coming men, the new blood thats the backbone of our firm.

  Thank you Mr. Simmons, I hope to be able to make some major contributions to the growth of the firm.

  Good, good, thats the kind of attitude I like.

  You want a drink, Harry?

  Scotch and water.

  Wentworth waved for the bartender, and when he brought the drink, he handed it to Harry.

  Thanks. The way I figure it is simply that the more I can help the firm grow, the more I can grow along with it.

  Thats right. Its like I always say: The more important the firm is to you, the more important you are to the firm. They looked at each other and nodded in understanding and approbation.

  They remained in a small group for a short time, Harry a little surprised that he felt fairly comfortable with Wentworth, there being no anger bubbling within him. He meant everything he said: he did want to contribute to the firm and become a successful corporate executive, and he did like the firm and his work and would be perfectly content to stay with them the rest of his life, the life that he had planned and projected, the life that included not only a title and success, but a large home, automobiles, boats and all the other ac-couterments of success, like membership in an exclusive country club like Wooddale.

  Harry sipped his drink and sincerely listened to their sincerity, almost feeling a part of the conversation and the two men with him, but vaguely aware of a feeling of separate-ness. He quickly, and automatically, brushed it aside and replaced it with a swelling and glow that came from the fact that he could feel the others in the room watching him talk with Simmons and Wentworth as equals, and knew, too, that they were in awe of him and envious.