Don't Hide From Me

by Lorhainne Eckhart

  “Bruce. I lived with Bruce for five years. That’s what you’re trying to say. He was my lover. Do you want details?” He was really pushing it, and maybe deep down he wanted to see where Vic’s squeamish point was.

  Vic stepped around the other chair across from him and sat down. “Don’t be an asshole, and stop pointing out all the fucking time how gay you are. I know you are, have known for a long time. You pushing it in everyone’s face, being this dramatic, is bordering on overkill. There may still be people who don’t get it and will make your life a living hell, but don’t dump that on me. Just be who you are and stop worrying about what everyone thinks.” He sounded pissed and glanced away a second to compose himself.

  Of course Luc couldn’t help how he quickly shifted to the defensive. How dare he accuse him of flaunting? That wasn’t what he did. He honored who he was and didn’t care who he told. He was ready to leave. “I don’t flaunt it. I state a fact so people won’t presume. I get it all the time on flights, especially women either wanting to pick me up or hook me up with their daughters.”

  Vic said nothing, but his expression said everything as he considered what Luc was saying. “So what makes this guy different? How do you know he’s not going to screw with you?” Vic leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and then gestured to him. It was something in what he wasn’t saying that had Luc really looking closer. Vic didn’t do emotions, closeness, and this seemed so much as if he were stepping into that uncomfortable territory.

  “The same things that are important to you are important to me,” Luc said. “I see you with John, the excitement you have with Fiona carrying your baby. You have a wife, a family, a place.” He gestured to the room. “I want the same stability. I want a husband. I want kids to raise, a home of our own, maybe a dog and a cat. If it’s Lubbock or here, it doesn’t matter. Bruce didn’t want kids, but Julian is willing, and I see something there in him that tells me this could be really good and could last. He’s got a career. What you’re offering is nice, thank you, but I don’t want your handout. I can find something where Julian is, understand?” he added.

  Why had he always had such trouble talking to Vic? Aaron got him, and everything was a given. Even Chase, who mothered them all to death, was cool. It was just that Vic was so alpha, such a man’s man, the kind with whom Luc never knew where he stood. “I know you’re not one for talking, Vic, and I appreciate you sticking your neck out, offering me a job, letting me send my stuff here…” He gazed over to his brother, who was sitting back now, his hand wiping across his chin shrewdly. “But what exactly is it about me that makes you uncomfortable?”

  He waited for Vic to deny it, to say something, anything, as the ache inside his heart grew. He realized that as much as he fought it, he loved his brother and wanted his approval, his acceptance, everything. If he didn’t get it, he’d be okay, but the ache would still be there. He lifted his glass, downed the last of the vodka, and rested the tumbler on the table, then uncrossed his legs to leave. It was better, he figured, to leave the words unsaid.

  “Hey, wait, stop it,” Vic said. “You’ve got it wrong. It’s not anything about you that makes me uncomfortable. I love you. You’re my brother, just like Chase and Aaron, but you have it harder, and I knew that even though you made it seem like no big deal. You, out of all of us, had your life together the most.”

  Luc sat back in the chair, his feet planted firmly on the ground, and Vic smiled. Maybe it was the shock he could feel pulsing through him that made it seem as if the room had tilted on its side. “Huh?”

  “Aaron, I had to get on a plane to find him and haul his ass home, and Chase shows up, pesters, calls, you know, but you… God dammit, I never knew where to start or what to do. Something didn’t work for you. You’d move on, pull it together, and I didn’t know how to help you, because it was never anything simple. You didn’t need rescuing, you never needed to vent, you just did things. So if you’re bent on moving to Lubbock, seriously? Well then go, be happy, give it your all, and get that family. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t have it. Just do it, and hold on to it. Make it work with Julian, but…” Vic raised his finger sharply, his gaze heated, strong. “If he messes with you or anyone, or if something doesn’t work, you call me, you come home.” He said it with such passion, and this was the first time Luc had ever seen a hint of tears in his brother’s eyes.

  As he stood up, feeling as if the floor had softened beneath him, so did Vic, and this time it was Vic who took the two steps over to him, pulled him in his arms, and kissed his cheek. Then he slapped his back—more, Luc was sure, to pull himself together than anything else—before slinging his arm around his shoulders and saying, “Let’s go see who won the game.”

  Chapter 14

  The doorbell was ringing again.

  “Just a minute!”

  It was as if someone were leaning on the bell, jamming it over and over, as it chimed throughout the house. Julian had built this two-story, four-bedroom Tudor-style home on spec two years earlier, as Luc had only recently learned. Fresh from the shower, he raced down the carpeted steps to the front door. He’d pulled on a pair of gray sweats but was still dripping wet, with a towel tossed over his shoulder.

  The bell rang again before he had crossed to the tiled entrance, feeling the chill from the air conditioner working double time to counter the heat outside, which hovered around one hundred and five degrees every day. He yanked open the door to see a tall cowboy wearing sunglasses, a cowboy hat, boots that made him appear as if he’d just left the range, and blue jeans that fit him like a second skin. The bronc on his belt buckle was the focal point of this man, whose expression was unfeeling, as if he weren’t liking the fact that Luc was the one who had opened the door.

  “Can I help you?” Luc said as the man slowly pulled his glasses off, taking him in and letting his gaze run down him in a way that felt unflattering.

  “Who are you?” the man replied. His dark hair was neat and short under his hat, his blue eyes cold, and his face was so much like Julian’s that Luc curled his hand defensively around the door.

  “Who’s asking?” he snapped back.

  “Where’s Julian?” the man asked again and then pressed his hand against Luc’s chest to brush him aside and push past him. “Julian!” he yelled out.

  Luc was surprised he’d been caught off guard like that. No one pushed him around, yet this guy was walking into the house as if he owned the place and was calling for Julian with no care as to who Luc was.

  He ran the towel through his hair, which was dripping down his back. “Hey, I don’t know who you think you are, barging in here like this, but I’m only going to ask you to leave once, and then I’m calling the cops,” he said.

  The guy turned to him, his expression icy. “Where is my brother?”

  Ah, brother. Here we go. So this was Travis, the asshole who liked to hurt women. “Not here. You should go,” Luc said, stopping himself from adding all the other things he wanted to tell this guy, including that he hoped he had a long and miserable life and would have to endure the same horrible things he’d done to Rose.

  “Well, where is he?” Travis said just as a car sounded from the driveway.

  Tires squealed, and a door closed. Luc turned to see Julian stepping around his black Lincoln, dressed professionally in a white shirt and black dress pants, sleeves rolled up.

  “Travis here?” was all Julian said as he stepped inside and closed the door, which was letting out the cold air—though the temperature in the house seemed to have dropped below zero since Travis had arrived.

  All Luc could do was gesture to the man standing on the white carpet in his cowboy boots. Luc treaded down the two steps to the sunken living room, taking in the floral seating pattern, the plants, the tables, the art. Everything was tasteful and had been chosen by Julian’s wife—well, his ex-wife, Sylvie.

  “Well, well. What the hell is this?” Travis gestured to Luc as Julian strode down the stairs bes
ide him.

  Julian touched his shoulder, allowing his hand to linger a second, and Luc wondered what this was. “Luc, this is Travis, my brother. Travis, Luc is my boyfriend. He’s living with me, and you shouldn’t be here,” he said, staying beside Luc.

  Travis now leveled a shrewd glare at him. If Luc didn’t know any better, he’d have thought Travis wanted a moment alone with him, for what specific reason he couldn’t pinpoint—to threaten, intimidate…kill? The man exuded loathing. He tensed.

  “You’re serious,” Travis said. “When I got your message, I was sure you’d lost your mind, and now here I am to see that you’re crazy. Shit, is this a phase? If it is, fine. Just have your fun and move on.” Travis was pacing, marking the carpet with dirt from his boots, and Luc couldn’t shake the feeling that Travis imagined himself stomping with all that muck over him. He couldn’t remember ever having felt this kind of hatred from anyone, not to this degree. It had him feeling as if he were insignificant. He wanted to shout, I am somebody!

  “Not this again,” Julian said. “I told you, Travis. I’m not rehashing this with you. Luc is living here with me. You’re welcome to visit, but you’re not to talk about him as if he’s not even here.”

  Luc rested his hand over the towel and took in the way Travis was looking at his brother, then shooting a sideways glance to him. It was nothing friendly. “You know what?” Luc said. “Why don’t I leave you two to work this out or not? I’m not about to be talked down to by some prick who gets off on hurting women.”

  Travis stilled. His expression should have had Luc stepping away, but instead he was interested in provoking this asshole, which could very well backfire on him. “Excuse me?” Travis said and stepped into Luc’s space.

  Julian slapped his hand to his brother’s chest. The sound ricocheted through the room. “Chase McCabe is Luc’s brother,” he said. “Remember Rose is now with Chase?”

  Travis’s laugh was not what Luc expected. He had a deep chuckle, not the kind that anyone would find friendly. It was unnerving. “Why, that little bitch. Jesus, Julian, of all people you had to get mixed up with.” Travis paced in a circle and then over to Julian, right in his face. “End this now and we’ll forget all of this, but you know what’ll happen if you don’t.”

  He wasn’t even trying to hide his threat. He stepped away after jabbing his index finger into Julian’s chest, and Luc just took in Julian standing there, an unreadable expression on his face. He couldn’t believe Julian had just let Travis treat him with such disrespect.

  “And give that little bitch a message for me,” Travis said as he faced Luc, his hands resting on his hips and his eyes filled with loathing. “She got her divorce. The papers are signed and sent back. She’d better not make trouble, or what comes at her will be something she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy.”

  He got the threat, loud and clear. This guy was deviously smart and dangerous. “You know what?” Luc said. “Don’t make threats against Rose ever again, because it’s not just me and Chase you’ll have to contend with if you do.” He stood nose to nose with Travis, staring at him. He was a hair taller than Luc, and he was fit, but Luc was sure he could take him.

  “I’m serious, Travis,” Julian said. “Leave now. Enough of this. I’m happy. I’m with Luc now, and you need to accept that or not. I’m done with your bullying and threats, trying to run my life and tell me who to be with. I’m done. I told you this is who I am. You either accept it or you don’t, but I won’t pretend anymore that I’m someone I’m not. You should go before you say anything else you might regret.”

  Luc looked from Julian to Travis, and he was so proud of his guy for standing his ground and standing up to his prick of a brother, a man he’d never wanted to meet. Travis, with his hands on his hips, didn’t seem defeated as he stepped up toward the door. No, the man seemed to be thinking, considering, as he stopped and turned around, facing Luc and Julian, taking them both in.

  “Then I expect you to clear out of here,” Travis said. “You have twenty-four hours, and then I’m having the locks changed, and if I find this asshole still here, I’ll have him arrested for trespassing.”

  Then he was gone, the front door slammed, and Luc turned to Julian, who was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes shut, appearing as if the world was about to come crashing down around them.

  Chapter 15

  “Mind telling me what that was about?” Luc said as he gestured to the door. He’d moved to another state to be with Julian because he was the one he wanted to spend his future with, but something wasn’t sitting quite right. “Clear out of your house, or is it his? Didn’t you say you had this built a few years ago? I’m confused here.”

  “Yes, for me and Sylvie,” Julian said. “I hired the architect and had it built, but my dad paid for the property, a wedding gift, and it stayed in his name. It was just a formality that was supposed to be resolved, but he died six months ago. Everything kind of went to…”

  Luc was getting some of what had happened, sort of. It was a total mess. “Your brother has it all now. Is that it?”

  Julian walked over to the very plush feminine sofa and sank into the deep cushion, his hand over his forehead, over his eyes. “What I’m saying is that Travis is the executor of the estate. Everything is in his name until the estate is settled. Everything goes to him, and then the estate is divvied up.”

  Luc didn’t know what to say. He was now living in Lubbock, Texas. His boxes had since arrived at Vic’s and were now en route, but now, by the looks of it, he would be moving again. He’d have to get a hold of the shipping company and have them sent…where? What the fuck? He could imagine what they’d say. He pulled the towel from around his neck and dropped it on the chair. “Your brother is an asshole. I take it we’re moving—or I am, at least.”

  Julian said nothing else as he sat there, brooding. His mood could be so hot at times, but right now Luc wanted him to make a decision and do something. He needed to handle his family, his mess. Julian leaned forward. “He’s pissed because I told him I’m gay, and I told him about you. I knew he took it badly, just didn’t think it would be this bad.” Julian’s phone buzzed again. He was staring at the screen. “What now!” he said as he answered.

  Luc had never seen him this off, and he didn’t know what to say, what to do.

  “Are you kidding me?” Julian said into the phone, now standing, and he wasn’t looking Luc’s way. “Do nothing until I get there.”

  “Everything okay?” Luc asked when he hung up. Julian had basically come out for him, but now nothing seemed to be going their way.

  “Lost four accounts earlier today, just out of the blue. They were four of my biggest ad accounts, and now another.” He shoved his phone in his pocket.

  For a minute, Luc sensed what he thought was resentment toward him, but this wasn’t his fault, so that was ridiculous. Maybe he was misreading it. “Do you want me to do anything?” he said.

  Julian wouldn’t even look his way as he shook his head. “Don’t know how long I’ll be, so don’t wait up.” He started up the steps and out the front door without another word, wrapped up in everything, so much emotion.

  Luc heard the car start, and he leaned down and picked up the towel. So much for a new start in a new place, with everything working out.

  * * *

  Luc had made dinner, a steak, for himself since Julian hadn’t called. He’d just cleaned up and was barefoot, sipping a beer while listening to the latest country hits via satellite radio, when he turned the corner into the living room and stopped, because there was Julian, sitting in the dark in the corner by the window.

  “I didn’t hear you come in,” Luc said. He strode down and over to his guy and was about to lean down and kiss him when he sensed before he could get too close that Julian wasn’t in the mood to be touched. This was the same mood he had often seen from Bruce, but he’d never picked it up from Julian until now.

  Julian dropped his hand to the arm of the chair and l
ooked up to Luc, but his expression was so distant that he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

  Luc pulled up a stool in front of Julian and sat down. “Say something,” he said. “First your brother walks in here on some power trip, and then you raced out because of some lost accounts. I kind of need to know what’s going on. That’s what you do in a relationship: You share.” He held out his beer, and Julian just stared at it before reaching for it and taking a swallow, then handing it back.

  “I didn’t realize what a fool I was, thinking people would accept who I am—my clients, my family, my employees. You want to know the truth, what’s going on? Well, half my accounts have been cancelled. Not all of them, but the ones that mattered, the ones that paid the bills, the salaries, the office space. The small nickel and dime ones won’t even cover my assistant’s salary. Every one of those major accounts was connected to my family, my brother, my father. The gay son isn’t going to be accepted. That’s the message I got.” He was staring at Luc, and Luc couldn’t help feeling as if he were blaming him.

  “And you think it’s my fault?” he said. “Fuck you, asshole, seriously.” He stood up and moved away, then turned back to Julian, who was still sitting there. Luc had been in his position at one time, when he’d just come out. He knew the feeling well, but he had never blamed others for how some idiots behaved. “You know what? You came after me, remember? I told you to leave me alone, that I know who I am and am not hiding. So it didn’t work out. There are two choices: You either want to have a relationship with me and you make it work and stop lying to the world about who you are, or you want to go back to that place of oblivion, living a lie just to please everyone around you. But you need to figure that out.”