by Quinn Ward
“What makes you say that?” From my perspective, our life wasn’t that different from Frankie or Freddie’s. Sure, we weren’t house-hunting, but we also didn’t have the history Freddie and Peter did. Frankie and Calvin had been together a long time and their situation was unique because they’d lived together before they were even a couple. He needed to stop measuring his happiness using someone else’s ruler. Teo hunched his shoulders, curling in on himself, but didn’t respond. “Talk to me, please.”
“I’m not like them. I never will be.”
“No, you’re not,” I agreed. “But you’re the only one who thinks you should be like them. I’m in love with you, Angel, not them.”
“For now,” he argued, sounding so defeated it was hard to believe we hadn’t had some huge fight earlier. “What about when you get tired of taking care of me?”
“Angel, that is one thing I can promise will never happen,” I insisted, holding him tighter. His head fell against my shoulder and I could feel his ragged breaths. “We both have fears. Would you believe I lie awake at night watching you sleep, worrying about what I’d do if you decided you were sick of having a daddy? It’s hard sometimes, living a lifestyle so many people don’t understand. Having a boy who lets me take care of him is what I need to feel complete.”
“Seriously?” He glanced up at me, eyes wide.
“Absolutely. Just because we aren’t Frankie and Calvin or Freddie and Peter doesn’t mean our relationship isn’t just as real.” It wasn’t planned, but waiting another minute wasn’t an option for me. “I love you with all my heart, Matteo. I want to go to sleep next to you every night and wake every morning with you in my arms. Move in with me.”
“Seriously?”
“One of these days, you’ll realize I don’t joke about the things that matter. You know better than to doubt me.” I swatted his hip, more playful than disciplinary. “Would you like to tell me what started this spiral?”
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” He buried his face against my neck. I kept rubbing small circles over his back until he relaxed. “I do know better. It’s just… only us brothers know it, but Freddie’s going to propose to Peter today. When I was showering, I realized I want what they have. But I have no clue if you want to get married someday or if you’d ever think about having kids or getting a dog or buying a house or—”
I sealed my mouth over Teo’s to shut him up. Matteo twisted around so he could straddle my hips, grinding against me. I twisted my fingers in his hair as I shoved my tongue past his lips, reminding him who was in control here. His moan vibrated through my body. Over the crisp scent of his bodywash, I caught a hint of his arousal. My mouth watered and I nearly caved to the temptation to distract him with a blowjob. But if I was truly in control, it was on me to keep us on schedule today.
“When we get home tonight, you’re going to pay for teasing me,” I warned him as I lifted him off my lap.
“What did I do?” he asked, proving he knew damn well what he was in trouble for when he reached over and stroked my cock through my pants. It was hard to remember the time when he was so insecure and shy that he’d never initiate anything sexual.
I dragged Teo over my lap, yanking down his pants and undies in the process. Both my cock and my heart swelled at the sight. Now that he was here most of the time, it was rare for me to see him wearing anything other than the little boy undies I’d purchased for him. According to him, they were a reminder that he was mine and I loved him. And my cock—well, that was easy. Anytime my boy was displayed like this for me I turned into a walking erection. He was beautiful, both physically and in the way he submitted to me.
The first crack of my palm over his ass echoed through the room. He rutted against my lap and I knew he was as turned on as I was. But morning spankings weren’t about getting off, and today he needed extra attention to remain focused. He moaned loudly with the second, sighed at the third. Splotches of pink came to life on his olive skin. To keep him on edge, I traced a finger over the darkest handprint, dragging my fingernail along the edge. Teo hissed at the new sensation.
“You like that, Angel?” I slid my hand between his legs, pressing two fingers against his taint. He dropped his feet to the floor, pushing off so his ass stuck higher in the air. I pulled away, smacking him again. “Who decides how much you get?”
“You do, Daddy,” he responded, panting between words. I felt bad for him; it wasn’t going to be comfortable walking to the car with an erection. But he’d done this to himself. I slapped his ass three more times in quick succession, all falling in the same spot for maximum sting. “I’m sorry, Daddy. Please let me come before we leave.”
“No. If you’re a good boy today, you might get to come later tonight.” I pulled up his pants, deliberately dragging my fingers through his crease. On the heels of what Matteo called his sexual awakening, I got a thrill out of teasing him mercilessly. “Otherwise, you’ll get to suck me off and you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for another chance.”
“I’ll be good, Daddy. I promise.” Matteo stood and disappeared into the kitchen. “I’ll clean up in here while you shower. Unless you want me to help you.”
Matteo was relentless today, but no matter how much he tried to entice me into fooling around, we had things to do. “Nice try, Angel. I already told you later. Don’t ruin it now.”
“Yes, Daddy.” I chuckled as I made my way to the bathroom. I could practically see Matteo pouting as he realized I wasn’t going to give in.
Organized chaos was the only way to describe the scene at Freddie’s townhome. All the brothers had taken the day off today and it seemed while they had a common goal, no one had a plan. Matteo stood in the small front lawn, overwhelmed by all the activity. I stepped up beside him, sliding a hand around his back. “Why don’t you head inside and see what boxes you can start loading into the truck,” I suggested. Matteo nodded and I followed him into the house.
As disorganized as everything looked from the outside, once we were inside it seemed Freddie and Peter had done a good job getting everything packed and stacked along the walls to make the day go smoothly. Freddie came out of the kitchen carrying a plastic container filled with muffins. He set them down on the coffee table and held out his hand. “Levi, it’s good to see you again. You sure you’re ready for this?”
“Of course. I have plenty of experience helping friends move and I’m always glad to help out.”
“Oh, the moving part is going to be easy by comparison.” Freddie laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder. “I’m worried more about you being able to put up with all of us brothers when Mama isn’t around to referee. I love these guys, but I’ll be the first to admit we tend to butt heads. In fair warning, the more stressed we are more the sarcastic we tend to be.”
“I can deal with that,” I assured him. I could see there was something else Freddie wanted to say, but he was holding back. Knowing what Matteo had told me about how protective his family could be, I assumed it was most likely a warning that I’d better take care of the baby of the family or face the wrath of his older brothers. There was nothing to worry about because I’d rather cut off my own arm than hurt Matteo.
“Okay, well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Freddie and I stood back, watching what everyone was doing. He looked me up and down, then nodded slightly as if he’d made some sort of a decision about me. “I have most of the guys working on carrying boxes down to the truck. Soon, it’ll be time for us to start hauling the furniture down. You up for helping out with that?”
“Yeah, whatever you need help with. Just point me in the right direction.”
Freddie directed me to the living room before disappearing to check on the others. At first, I felt like Matteo’s brothers spent as much time watching me as they did loading the truck, but eventually we all fell into an easy rhythm. By midafternoon the truck was loaded, and we formed a caravan heading over to the new house. There, the process was the same but in reverse. One of the men was meticul
ously organized, having color-coded all the boxes and placing sticky notes in each room so we didn’t have to ask what went where.
As much as I wanted to be near Matteo., I didn’t want anyone thinking I was hovering around him for no reason. It was important to me that they understood I knew how capable Matteo was of taking care of himself. We almost had everything unloaded when I finally realized how much Matteo was struggling. He wandered from one room to the next, trying to figure out what he could do. Twice, I saw him fumble while he carried a box. I no longer gave a damn what the brothers thought and rushed to his side. “Everything okay, Angel?” Matteo nodded, but wouldn’t make eye contact with me. If we were at home, I’d punish him for lying to me, but putting him in the corner for quiet time might raise more than a few suspicions here. I leaned in close enough that I could whisper without being overheard. “What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing,” he tried to reassure me. I had no doubt he’d convinced himself it was nothing, but there was obviously something distressing him. “This is just part of who I am. Sometimes the more that’s going on around me, the more scrambled my brain gets.”
“You need to go take a break?” Matteo shook his head. I’d trust him to know what he needed, for now. But if things started sliding further downhill, then I would intervene and find someplace quiet to help him re-center and focus.
After that, I stayed close to my boy and we worked together unpacking boxes in the kitchen. I gave him clear directions on what he needed to do next, and it didn’t take long before his hands seemed steadier and he was able to focus on unpacking a single box at a time rather than pulling out random items from every box scattered around the room.
I was hopeful we’d gotten through the worst of his anxiety. We were nearly finished unpacking the kitchen, which was no easy task since Freddie and Peter seemed to be on a mission to collect every kitchen gadget known to man, when I startled at the sound of something shattering against the tile floor.
“I’m so sorry, Peter. I didn’t mean to drop it,” Matteo apologized. Tears streamed down his face as he scooped up shards of a ceramic plate with his bare hands. I could see dots of red where the jagged edges had pricked his skin, but Matteo was so upset he hadn’t noticed.
Without thinking, I dropped to my knees in front of him, curling my fingers under his chin. When he looked up, I slid a hand around the back of his neck, drawing him to my chest. “It’s okay, Angel. No one’s mad at you.”
“Freddie is,” Matteo argued through the remnants of his sobs.
“He’s not,” I assured him. It might be a lie, but Freddie would get over it if he was upset. I held Matteo and carefully reached up for the pressure point we’d found that almost always calmed him. It took longer than normal this time, but he calmed and pulled away from me, wiping the tears from his eyes.
I stood, holding out a hand to help my boy off the ground, when someone appeared with a broom. It was one of the twins, but having only met them once, I wasn’t sure which one. He shooed us away, letting us know he’d take care of the mess. It amazed me how in tune all the brothers were to Matteo’s struggles and how they worked together to keep him from shattering like that damn plate. It made my heart ache that Teo couldn’t see there was no pity or animosity from any of them because they did it for the same reason I did: love.
“I’m not angry, Teo. It’s just a pie plate.” Peter placed a hand on Matteo’s shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze.
“But it was your mama’s and I know it was special to you. I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve let someone else unpack the boxes with breakable stuff.”
Peter’s other hand came up to Matteo’s opposite shoulder and he shook him gently. On instinct, I stepped up behind them, ready to demand Matteo take a break. If he didn’t settle down a bit, there was no way we’d get through the rest of the afternoon and evening. “Listen to me. It’s okay. Life’s too short to be upset about something as silly as an old baking dish. Just because it’s broken doesn’t mean the memories are gone, and remembering Mama is what really matters.”
“Freddie, do you mind if I take him to the guest room for a few minutes?” I asked, placing a hand on Teo’s hip. “There’s a lot going on and he needs a few minutes alone.”
“You are not having sex in my house before I do,” Peter teased. Matteo groaned, his cheeks turning adorably red. “Go on. I think Tony and Enzo already have the bed set up in there.”
Before the bedroom door was closed, Matteo collapsed onto the bed. He threw a hand over his face, shielding his eyes from my view. I sat on the bed next to him, debating whether to reach out for him. I wanted to comfort him, but there were times he got worked up and wanted to be left alone. Those times were hard for me, because I felt as if I was failing him as a daddy, a friend, and a lover.
“Talk to me, Angel,” I urged him. I kept my voice low, trying to hide any of my own frustration. Seeing Matteo come undone left me feeling anxious and helpless. “Do we need to go home?”
Matteo simply shook his head, still not looking at me. We sat there in the silence long enough I wondered if Matteo had fallen asleep. The noise from downstairs grew louder as more of Freddie and Peter’s family arrived for dinner. My back ached from all the lifting, so I lay down on the bed next to my angel. A few minutes later he reached out to me, slowly stroking my arm.
“I wish I could be normal, even for one day.” My standard retort was on the tip of my tongue, but I knew he wouldn’t believe me if I told him there was nothing wrong with him. And I wasn’t sure what had triggered him today, which meant I’d be arguing without enough information.
“All I could think while I was unpacking their stuff is what a huge step it is to live together. Never mind the fact they’ve been living together a while now. But until now it was Peter living at Freddie’s house, and this is completely different. They’re building this whole life together and I want that, too.”
“Angel, if you’d rather we look for a place to share that’s not mine but truly ours, that’s okay.” Truth be told, I didn’t care where we lived if Matteo was with me. I liked my apartment, but it was a place to live, nothing more.
“I don’t think that’s it, but who knows. No one ever knows what sets me off.” Matteo rolled to his side and opened his eyes, finally looking at me.
I offered him a tender smile, hoping my eyes conveyed the reassurances I couldn’t bring myself to say. “Angel, let me ask you one question.” I paused, giving Matteo a chance to shut me down. When he didn’t, I continued. “Do you want to move in with me? I know I blindsided you this morning when I asked you to move in with me. I made a promise to you when we first started seeing one another that I’d never rush into anything you aren’t ready for, but maybe I did.”
“Are you kidding?” Matteo propped himself up on an elbow and placed a hand over my heart. “Until this morning, I’d resigned myself to living at home forever. Knowing you love and accept me exactly as I am means everything to me. It’s just that sometimes major life changes get to be too much for my brain to handle, no matter how much I want whatever is about to happen.”
“As long as you’re sure you didn’t agree to move in because you think it’s what I wanted, then we’ll find a way to get through this together,” I promised him.
Matteo shifted closer to me on the mattress, burying his face against my chest and inhaling deeply. Whether it was today or fifty years from now, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get tired of the smallest gestures Matteo made that told me he needed me as much as I needed him. We lay there a bit longer, until I felt confident Matteo was okay. But eventually, it was time for us to rejoin the rest of the family. I didn’t want Matteo’s episode derailing his brother’s plans for the evening, not so much for Freddie’s sake, but because I knew Matteo would never forgive himself.
“Angel,” I whispered. “Are you ready to go back downstairs?”
“Yeah, I suppose it’s about time.” Matteo sighed. “And after dinner, I’d like i
t if we can go by Mama’s house to pick up some more of my stuff.”
“Angel, there’s no rush.”
“I know, but it seems pretty silly for me to keep asking you to drive me by the house every day so I can pick up more stuff. Not to mention, it’s a waste of time we could spend doing other things.” When he put it that way it was hard to argue with him. “Besides, I need to tell Mama what’s going on.”
“Do you think tonight’s the right time to talk to her?” Today was a big day for the Marino family and it seemed the proposal would be more than enough for her. Like I kept telling Matteo, there was no reason for us to rush into anything. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to find an apartment that was ours rather than mine. Maybe something a bit closer to Matteo’s family so he never felt isolated when I was out of town.
Matteo shook his head, adamantly disagreeing with me. “No, if I’m going to do this I want to get it over and done with. If I wait, I’m going to sit there obsessing about all the reasons I shouldn’t move in with you and that’s not fair to either one of us. And it’s time. For too long, I lived with Mama, telling myself it was because she needed me, but the truth is I’m the one who needed her. She’s always been a safety net for me and it’s time I take a leap and either succeed or fail on my own.”
“Angel, as long as we’re together, you’ll never have to face anything alone again.” That was the easiest promise I’d ever make to him.
Hand-in-hand, I led Matteo downstairs to where the rest of the family was already gathering for dinner. No one made a big deal about the scene earlier or our prolonged absence. The worst that happened was a couple of Matteo’s brothers pulled him to the side wanting to make sure he was okay, and that was far from a bad thing.
15
Matteo
I’d intended to talk to Mama after dinner at Freddie’s, but she was so happy about Peter finally being an official part of the Marino family that I couldn’t risk it. Daddy and I snuck by the house to pick up a few more changes of clothes and enjoyed an evening of lazy sex and snuggles before I drifted off to sleep.
