by Blair Holden
Oh shucks. I’ve really dug a hole for myself, haven’t I? I wonder if someone will hear me if I scream loud enough. Shrugging out of my coat, I place it on my lap and hide my phone beneath it. At least if and when she decides to pull a knife on me, I can call 911.
“I moved here a couple of weeks after Cole did.” That explains why I’d never seen her when I’d been helping Cole move in. “Before that, Lainey and I had been living with my mom because I’d been evicted from my last place.” She gestures to the mound of bills on the kitchen counter. “Not much has changed, but when I saved enough to get a place of my own, I made a run for it. Lainey need somewhere better to stay than a trailer park and the kind of assholes that live there.”
A shudder passes through me at the pain in her voice. “So we moved in, and by ‘we’ I mean, me, Lainey, and her dad, my boyfriend.”
Oh okay, that I did not foresee. The last time I’d been here I did not see a guy around the two and had just assumed that they lived alone. It also helped me understand why Cole felt the need to be there for them. Knowing that there’s a boyfriend and a father in the picture changes things and makes them a lot messier.
“My boyfriend, he uh...” Her voice starts to quiver and a shadow falls over her face. I should tell her to stop, tell her that I don’t need to hear anything else and that I have a pretty good guess of what she’s going to say next, but it’s like a train wreck that I can’t stop watching.
“Lainey’s dad, we had an argument and Cole stepped in. He uh...”
I don’t even pause to think about the words that will next come out of my mouth and just ask, “Where is he now?”
Yup, wrong question to ask because the tears start again and before I know it, I’m getting up and wrapping my arms around a shaking Melissa’s shoulders, wondering how I get myself in these situations. I do not know how to comfort a hysterical female, especially not one who looks like she could crumble beneath the weight of my arms. She’s outright sobbing between wails of “I’m sorry,” and I’m thinking of the quickest and least rude way of leaving her and get the hell out of Dodge. But of course life does not work that way and of course I can’t leave immediately.
Because the door bursts open with a loud noise and I think that this is it, this is the moment I die in the middle of nowhere in a shitty apartment complex and no one will ever know why.
Then again, like I said, I do tend be dramatic at times and this seems to be one of those instances because, believe it or not, it’s not a serial killer by the door but somehow almost something worse.
A very, very upset-looking Cole Stone.
Uh oh.
***
He moves around the apartment like someone who knows their way around it. It’s funny because just last week, he’d been so angry and jealous toward Jay for being so familiar with my apartment. The hypocrisy of it all stuns me, but now’s not really the time to voice it. Dr. Cole is working hard on making sure that Melissa recovers from the panic attack that I supposedly caused. Like the naughty kid in class, I sit in a corner and sulk as he makes her tea and covers her with a blanket. He’s not even looking at me, but I can practically see the anger rolling off of him in waves. I don’t think he’s ever been this upset with me in recent times and that just makes me angrier to the point that we’re both glaring at each other, him slamming doors and cupboard and I’m digging my nails into the palms of my hands, surprised that I haven’t drawn blood yet.
This is getting ridiculous and I’m increasingly beginning to feel trapped. He can take care of her all he wants without even bothering to acknowledge my presence, but I don’t need to be here for that. I grab my things and begin slipping my coat on when he says his first words to me.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He’s bristling with anger, rage trapped beneath a lot of self-restraint, but I’ve known him so long that I know one tiny push and it’ll all come out.
I don’t need to be here for that.
“I need some fresh air.” The ventilation in this place is horrible. You’re either freezing your butt off or drowning in a pool of your own sweat.
“Let me just take care of Mel and I’ll—”
“Take your time. I’ll leave my details at the front desk. When you’re done here, you can come find me.”
He takes a step toward me, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Just because I’m furious with him doesn’t mean that I don’t see how exhausted he is. The need to take care of him and make sure he’s okay is instinctive. The words are at the tip of my tongue, I want to know if there’s something wrong, if he’s gotten himself involved in something he shouldn’t have in the first place. But with the way he’s acting, as if I’m the one in the wrong, makes me want to shove a fist in my mouth because honestly, he doesn’t deserve my concern right now. I don’t recognize who he is right now or what’s gotten into him. I’ve watched him lead Melissa to bed, tuck her in, and make sure that she’s fine. I watched him check in on her daughter and make arrangements for her to stay with a family friend until he picks her up. He seems to belong to this life, to these people, and certainly not to me.
“Tessa, don’t. Just...give me five more minutes and we can talk.”
I want to yell at him that there’s no point in talking if he’s not going to be upfront. Besides, given what a mess I’ve made here, it’s better that I remove myself from the situation. The image of a sobbing Melissa crumbling to the floor is not one I’ll forget easily. Heck, I go out of my way to avoid stepping on ladybugs, that’s how much I’m averse to causing pain to another living being. So the fact that I may possibly have triggered her makes me feel about two feet tall.
“Take care of whatever you need to here; I know you’re busy. Come see me when you can.” And I rush out of there blinking back tears, because looking at Cole feels like I’m looking at a stranger.
***
I feel cold, really cold, and it’s got nothing to do with the weather. I think I might be slightly in shock and a bit dazed because the Uber driver who’s dropping me home asks me if I’m okay a couple of times. I think I nod my head and he doesn’t seem convinced. The cold’s seeped into my very bones, so miraculously when I make it back to my hotel room, I run myself a bath and try to unwind. It’s impossible to not think about the day’s events and how when I’d started my week, I could’ve never expected that I would end up here. Somewhere along the way, I’d become a planner. I needed my life to be very organized and for me to know just how my day was going to go. I paid attention to detail, I hated letting things just unfold with no specific order, so as one might imagine, this is my worst nightmare. I don’t do spur of the moment too well because once the high wears off, you’re left wondering okay, what now.
So, Tessa, what now?
I curl into a ball in the bathtub and allow my skin to become pruned. Only when I’m certain that my bones have turned to jelly do I get out and slip into a robe. Despite my stomach feeling queasy, I order myself some room service and play Friends on Netflix. Normalcy, that’s exactly what I need to do, followed closely by packing and getting the first flight out of here.
I check my phone out of habit to find several calls and concerned messages from Cami and Travis and Beth. Apparently Beth had gone to visit me, only to be informed that I’d left town, so understandably she’s confused and worried because my past record of operating under heartbreak isn’t that great. I’ll call them back later because it’s not the texts or voicemails or calls that grab my attention, it’s something else entirely. I open up the email and scan it quickly, rereading it multiple times just to assure myself that I’m not see things. I quickly text Leila just to make sure, and then suddenly my heart’s beating too fast and my mind’s working overtime. I have to physically restrain myself from typing out a reply because what’s the lesson we learned today, kids? Spontaneity is bad! Still, I wonder if fate really is a thing or if I’ve got the most kickass guardian angel looking down at me, knowing that perhaps at this point in t
ime, this email is exactly what I need.
I’m so engrossed in the back-and-forth conversation with Leila that I nearly miss the knock on the door. It must be room service and I’m glad, because following the bit of news that I just got, my appetite has made a return. Looking forward to my pizza and chocolate cake, I adjust the tie of my robe, cursing myself for not changing into my pajamas and hoping that I don’t flash the poor waiter. I open the door, only to have a very angry Cole barge into my room. Okay then, guess I will have to starve for a little while longer and guess what? My being hangry really doesn’t help Cole.
I close the door behind him because I don’t think the occupants of the rooms around me would appreciate the yelling this late in the evening. And will there be yelling? Of course.
“Wh-What were you thinking showing up at Mel’s? Are you insane?”
Of course he’s yelling.
“Lower your voice, Cole. I don’t want to cause a scene,” I hiss at him.
He seems incredulous. “Oh now you don’t want to cause a scene? Because you know when I came back from work early, only to be told by the damn manager that my girlfriend was in town, I was expecting that we’d talk and clear any misunderstandings, but instead I find you holding me neighbor while she’s having a panic attack. That, Shortcake, is a scene.”
I’m stunned, literally taken aback by how angry he is, and it makes me angrier. I move closer to him and shove my finger into his rock-hard chest.
“Misunderstanding? Is that what we’re calling it? The fact that you dropped dead on me, during the three days we’ve had together in ages, and went out to play daddy in a completely messed up family role-play? Is that what you’re into these days, Stone? Is that what makes you happy? Shacking up with your little Mel and taking care of her kid? Because, silly me, I thought you were so busy with school you couldn’t even find the time to breathe, let alone raise a family.”
With every word, I shove his shoulders, making him back into the room. Now I really don’t care if anyone hears us because how dare he accuse me of anything? All of this stupid, unnecessary drama is his fault.
“How’s your Mel doing, by the way? Is she okay? Have you put her to bed and told her that everything’s going to be okay? Did you wipe off her tears and kiss her good night?”
I’m being sarcastic, but somewhere down there I’m also voicing my worst fear.
“That’s not...we’re not, I can’t believe your mind would even go there.”
I laugh. “That’s rich. What else am I supposed to think? Why do you all of a sudden care so much about a woman that you’ve never met before in your life? What is it about her that’s got you acting like someone I barely recognize? Because I look at you and I have no idea who you are.”
My voice breaks and, to my utter mortification, I feel tears drip down my face. I don’t want to cry in front of him, I don’t want to be weak. All I want is for him to be honest, but how much can he really tell me if I look this pathetic? I turn my back to him and take some deep breaths, calm myself, and get ready to try again. Only when I turn around, Cole’s right in front of me with no space between us.
“You’re breaking my heart, Tessie.”
He doesn’t give me time to think, doesn’t give me time to react, and before I know it, his lips are on mine and his tongue is coaxing my mouth to open. His arms come around me, pulling me to him and erasing any remaining space between us. We’re good at this; this is easy and effortless. My arms go around his neck, I’m moving without even thinking. My mouth opens up to him and he groans, hands sliding down my body to cup my butt. He has magic hands, hands that make me forget why I’m even mad at him. So I allow him to kiss me senseless because I’ve missed him so much and don’t question it when we tumble onto the bed. He never stops kissing me, not even when his hands are busy tugging at my robe and mine slip beneath his shirt. His skin is so cold that I shiver, and I realize that he walked in without any coat, wearing only a thin t-shirt.
I think he needs to be warmed up.
In the back of my head, I hear a voice telling me this is a bad idea and that allowing myself to be distracted won’t really help our case. But I tell the voice to shove it because with the way Cole’s kissing his way down my neck? They could tell me Zayn came back to One Direction and I still wouldn’t care.
Oh wow, he’s really good.
“I’ve missed this.” He groans against my skin and my hands impatiently tug at his shirt, wanting it off right now. He realizes what I want to do and pulls it over in a second, flexing those ridiculous abdominal muscles of his as he does so.
Utterly ridiculous.
“Likewise.”
He’s got the robe off one shoulder and his tongue laves at the skin there like I’m something delicious to taste, but I’d rather have his lips permanently attached to mine, so I pull him back up. And it’s when things are really going somewhere and my robe is nearly off and his jeans undone that it finally happens.
Room service arrives and never in my life have I wished to be someone different. Preferably from the sunny state of California because a Valley Girl stores kale like a camel stores water. But alas, my stomach has let me down this time.
And maybe it’s for the better. We spring apart at the sound of the knock and it’s like being drenched in cold water. I push him off me and tighten my robe. My cheeks burn like fire as I move around him, doing absolutely anything to avoid looking at him. My face must be flaming red and, coupled with the fading bruise, I really must make a spectacular view. Thankfully the waiter says nothing, despite me being flustered and nearly dropping the tray as I hurriedly grab it from him. The last thing I need is for him to stumble on a nearly naked Cole in the room.
“Tessie.” Cole grabs my arm and tries to turn me around to face him as I stand frozen behind the closed door. I lean my head against it and take a few deep breaths.
“Can you please just tell me the truth, whatever it is.”
He’s silent for a minute, the longest minute ever, and then in a voice so low that I barely hear him, he says, “Yes.”
Chapter Fifteen: I’m as Subtle as the Front Cover of a Romance Novel
“Her boyfriend is an abusive motherfucker. The first time I saw her, Mel’s lip was split open and she couldn’t even walk after how hard he’d kicked her.”
I’d been expecting this, but somehow in the quiet of this hotel room, the reality of it hits me harder. A shiver runs through my entire body as Cole continues. “That first day I asked her if she was okay and she said she had a small accident. But her kid, Jesus, she looked so scared. I knew something was wrong the minute I saw the guy. He couldn’t stand watching her talk to me but instead of telling me to fuck off, I knew he took it out on her. The signs of abuse were so obvious, but no one in the damn building tried to help her or call the police. I’d see a fresh bruise every other day and she started covering it up with clothes or with makeup. But she couldn’t hide Lainey’s reaction. The little girl was so afraid of her dad, I could hear her scream and cry whenever he was around. The day I saw a handprint on her cheek was when I lost it.”
I gasp, my heart aching at the thought of that innocent little child going through something like that. I realize how fortunate I’ve been and that even at their worst, my parents have never been physically abusive. I don’t understand it, don’t understand what makes someone so ugly on the inside that they’d take it out on someone much weaker than them. It all starts to make a lot more sense to me now, why Cole’s been acting the way he is, but of course I still have questions.
We’re sitting on the bed, facing each other with our legs crossed. He takes my hands in his and raises them up to his lips to kiss my knuckles before continuing. “I confronted him because I couldn’t live with myself if I let it happen again, especially not to Lainey.”
I gasp. “What did you do?”
“I tried talking to him, but guys like that…” Cole’s eyes darken and he clenches his jaw. It’s not very often that you see
this amount of hatred in his eyes. I’m reminded of an incident in high school and a bastard named Hank, Cole had been vibrating with anger then and what had followed was not pretty.
“You didn’t.” My breath hitches.
“I had to.” He looks at me pleadingly. “I couldn’t keep letting him beat Mel like that. Everyone knew what was happening, they’d hear the screaming and crying, but no one had the balls to do anything about it.”
“You do realize that everything you’ve worked so hard for, could’ve gone away the instant you touched that guy and…Cole, how could you be so stupid? Why didn’t you get the cops involved?”
“In the end, I had to.” He drops his head as if going back to a terrible memory.
“I’d told him to not come around anymore. One of my dad’s friends from the academy is the deputy chief of police and I actually got in touch with him, trying to figure out how to get rid of the guy when Mel wasn’t willing to come forward. He told me not to get in a fight with him, because he’d press charges, but we had a few run-ins. I never let it get too far, but he knew I was watching and he took it out on Mel. The more I interfered, the more bruises Mel would have the next day.”
“That poor woman, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me any of this before. I feel so horrible, I brought up her boyfriend.” I groan and hide my face behind my hands. I’m so ashamed of what I’ve just done. Granted, the circumstances warranted it, but maybe I should’ve talked to Cole first before barging into someone’s home like that.
“He hasn’t been around lately, though, not since I came to visit you. What happened?”
“God, just thinking about that night makes me want to find that fucker and kill him with my bare hands.”
“What happened?” I ask softly, running my hand up and down his arm knowing that whatever he’s remembering right now is incredibly upsetting for him. I can’t even begin to imagine the things he’s seen, the kind of responsibility he’s undertaken, and how he’s kept it all to himself.
