Cthulhu Armageddon

by Phipps, C. T.

  “You bastard!” Peter shouted, unaware I took that description as a point of pride. Turning to Obadiah, he said, “You don’t believe this, do you?”

  “On the contrary, Peter, I know you. So, I have no doubt Mister Booth is telling the truth.” Obadiah gestured for the robed Deep One to bring him a pitcher of fruit juice, refilling his drink. “The problem is, Mister Booth, I don’t necessarily care. Alan Ward, inferior human slime ball that he is, is powerful and blessed by my god. He’s also good for business. We’ve sold more children to him in the past few months than I’ve sold in years.”

  “He’s a prick just out to rescue his female. She’ll fetch a high price, trust me, Obadiah.” Peter was overplaying his hand, which helped me.

  I was glad that Peter had undoubtedly put into Obadiah’s head that I was some sort of giant Boy Scout. It would help my credibility when I started lying my ass off. “Alan Ward is planning to take over the Wasteland. The whole Dunwych army attack is a lure to get them to be wiped out by his summoned monsters. He then intends to take over Kingsport and purge the nonhumans. It’s all a Remnant plot with Mister King.”

  Peter just stared at me, as if I’d sprouted six heads. “You lying son of a …”

  “A plausible story,” Obadiah said, continuing to sip on his drink. “But I’ve heard many plausible stories in my time. Why would you turn against your own people?”

  “The woman is pregnant with my child,” I said, staring at them. “I am touched by Nyarlathotep and she would be killed if it was allowed to come to term.”

  I lifted my shirt and exposed the mark, causing all of the Deep Ones to exchange looks of fear and confusion. Peter was shocked himself, though I doubted he knew the mark’s true significance.

  “I believe you,” Obadiah whispered, gurgling as he talked. “The question, John, is how exactly am I going to benefit from turning over Mister Goodhill and your little honey to you?”

  This is where the riskiest part of my plan entered into the equation, the plan I’d completely made up on the spot. “Do you have a radio in your possession?”

  “Several,” Obadiah leaned back in his hot tub. “Why?”

  “I serve the Opposition Party in the Remnant.” I made up a story I hoped would sound plausible to the power-obsessed mobster. It never hurt to assume people believed the worst of everyone. “We’ll benefit from seeing this current one collapse. Contact a Major Martha Booth on a frequency I give you and we’ll have a trade. A set of heavy assault rifles, enough for you to eliminate all of your competition, in exchange for Doctor Takahashi’s safe return and Peter Goodhill’s head. She has converted to the worship of our gods.”

  It was, all in all, a suicidal gambit. In all likelihood, the Remnant would send R&E squadrons for the express purpose of exterminating me as well as Doctor Takahashi. However, they were also very likely to go along with any deals until they arrived. The fact the Marshes were E.B.Es., however, would work in my favor. In the confusion, it was quite possible Doctor Takahashi and I could sneak out.

  If it worked.

  Obadiah Marsh paused, before looking at Peter. “Looks like you’re just out of luck, Peter.”

  The Deep Ones turned their guns on him, which caused him to stare at me with pure hatred—hatred that turned into a kind of admiration. “You do realize Ward’s going to kill you, right?”

  “No,” I said. “I don’t have the brains for it.”

  Peter made a rush for one of the Deep One’s guns, using him as a shield as he shot one and then another before I grabbed the gun of one of the fallen ones and blew his head clean off. Peter died like a warrior, an R&E Ranger.

  Tossing my gun onto the ground, I said, “Show me Mercury.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Of course, they made me send a message to the Remnant first. It was strange because I got the distinct impression the operators on the other line were distracted by something, almost as if they had a gun to the back of their head. Certainly, they didn’t react as if my call was unexpected or in any way abnormal despite my supposedly public execution.

  Whatever the case, it seemed to satisfy Obadiah Marsh and he ordered me to be taken to Doctor Takahashi. The Deep Ones led me down a blackened ash-filled staircase for two or three stories, eventually bringing me to a floor which looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since the Rising.

  Almost all of the walls separating the former hotel rooms had collapsed, with the entire north side of the building opening to a surprisingly majestic view of the city. You could almost forget the Marsh quarter was a pit of scum and slavery.

  Sitting in the center of this view was Doctor Takahashi, still wearing her clothes from earlier and tied to a chair with rope. A gag was stuffed down her throat and she looked positively broken by her experience. There were a few bruises on her face but no sign she’d been manhandled in a more … unpleasant manner.

  Walking up to Mercury, she looked up then looked down, uninterested in what she was seeing. A second later her eyes bulged as she did a double take.

  “Mm mph!” Mercury bounced in her chair, trying to speak.

  Struggling to speak through her gag, I placed my hand over her mouth and whispered, “Stay calm. I’m here to get you out. I convinced Obadiah Marsh to release you and kill Peter in exchange for the assistance of the United States Remnant in destroying the city’s other crime lords.”

  “Mm mph?” Mercury raised an eyebrow before saying, “Mmm.”

  I nodded, knowing she understood the situation to be ridiculous. “I’m going to remove the gag now.”

  Pulling the gag out of her mouth, Mercury took a deep breath. Her eyes darting to the Deep Ones and then back to me, she said very softly, “You know, I’m no longer upset at you for being a liar. Apparently, it’s quite a useful talent.”

  “I try,” I said, before walking behind her and starting to undo her bonds. “Are you unharmed?”

  “I really need to use the bathroom but I’m not injured in any serious way. They threatened me with rape and torture but I managed to talk my way out of both. They’re really awful at interrogation, too,” Mercury said, looking anxious to get out of the chair.

  I blinked. “Really? Impressive.”

  Mercury nodded. “I learned quite a bit from them, like Goodhill is working for Ward, the Black Cathedral is going to be coming under attack soon, and Ward is prepared for the Dunwych with an army of tribals he’s deluded into believing Cthulhu will protect during the battle.”

  This was all very useful information. “Thank you, Mercury.”

  She took a deep breath. “Booth, I’ve had a lot of time to think and I want you to know a lot of things.”

  “Okay.”

  “I’ve killed a lot of soldiers over the years,” Mercury said, staring up at me. “I’ve witnessed incredible amounts of suffering. I’ve never enjoyed it, though. I want you to know that. I need you to know that.”

  I had a nasty retort waiting for her about how that was surely a comfort to all those she’d killed before I realized no one’s hands were clean in this world. Also, I’d rather have someone like her at my side who regretted it than someone like Katryn who didn’t even know such things were wrong. “I believe you.”

  Mercury nodded, looking to the Deep Ones who were approaching us. They got within six feet, holding their shotguns close.

  We were both prisoners now.

  “Well, crap,” I muttered.

  “Uh, what are we supposed to do now?” Mercury asked.

  I reached over and grabbed one of the shotguns before forcing the Deep One holding it to shoot his comrade. The massive fish-man left alive blinked its huge bulbous eyes, stunned at the act before I grabbed his neck and snapped it. The fish-man’s body proceeded to fall onto the corpse of his friend.

  “This,” I said, rubbing my hands. “God, does no one teach that guns are supposed to be used at a distance?”

  “I guess not.” Mercury looked down at their bodies.

  “Let’s focus
on getting out of here.” Shaking my head, I picked up one of the shotguns on the ground and proceeded to smash in the heads of the two Deep Ones on the ground. Their race did not regenerate, at least to my knowledge, but there was no point in taking any chances.

  “Okay, Booth,” Mercury took a deep breath. “I’d like to work with you. I mean after this. Maybe we can make this world a bit better—you know, before it ends completely.”

  I looked at her. “I’d like that, too. Recent events have caused me to question whether I have any right to cast stones. We all did things we had to in order to survive. In this world, we’re all Children of the Great Old Ones, Doctor Takahashi.”

  “Halsey,” Mercury said.

  “Pardon?”

  “Mercury Anne Halsey. It was my name before Geoffrey took me as his wife.” She looked over her shoulder. “Could you call me that instead? You know, if you’re still going to avoid calling me by my first name.”

  “Alright,” I smiled. “Mercury.”

  Mercury then leaned over and kissed me, lightly. “Do you know any way out of this place?”

  Mercury nodded, “We can go down the next floor and use the servants’ elevator. I saw it coming up. It’s Obadiah Marsh’s kitchen so we’ll just have to deal with some Deep One cooks. When I last saw them, they were preparing human beings for tonight’s meal.”

  “Mercury …” I trailed off, finding the idea ridiculous.

  Her eyes looked desperate as she grabbed me by the shirt. “Booth, we need to get the hell out of here!”

  I realized she’d been serious. “Oh. I see. I will, I promise.”

  “And give me a gun,” Mercury said, letting go of my shirt.

  I tossed her one of the shotguns that had been lying on the ground.

  “Thank you,” Mercury said, cocking it. “I’ve never been so happy for mandatory training.”

  Before we could do anything else, the sounds of patch-work cobbled-together helicopters were heard over our heads. Blinking, I sucked in my breath. “Those are Hunter-13s!”

  “Oh shit,” Mercury’s voice resounded in the room. “The cavalry has arrived.”

  “For the other side.”

  Grabbing Mercury by the arm, I prepared to make a dash for the downstairs as I heard the sound of assault-rifle fire. That meant they were already closer than the penthouse. Almost as soon as we reached the stairwell, a group of armored infantry troopers came into view from above. They wore thick, heavy body armor, metal helmets, and environmental masks which were tough enough to stop a bullet. In their hands were heavy assault rifles with laser sights that immediately covered us both. They, noticeably, kept their distance as they aimed.

  “What do we do now?” Mercury turned to me, panicking.

  “Stand perfectly still and surrender,” I said, calmly.

  “What?” Mercury’s voice sounded like she was going to do something desperate. I imagined her going down, guns blazing.

  I placed my shotgun on the ground and raised my hands, noticeably covering the gun with my foot to keep her from trying to grab for it. “I don’t think so.”

  “Why?” she asked, right before I put my hands on her and held her tightly.

  I whispered in her ear, taking a deep breath and speaking as gently but firmly as possible. “Because, Mercury, if that were the case, then we’d already be dead.”

  “Okay,” Mercury said, reluctantly raising her hands. “Good point. I guess there’s no point in panicking.”

  “Panic can make you do or say things you regret,” I said, keeping my hands up. “I’ve said much worse.”

  I recognized the Armored Infantry unit as the Red Wolves, Sergeant Major Aaron’s unit. She was a stone-cold, brutal, and merciless soldier who I’d long admired as one of the Remnant’s best. Given I’d long considered her a friend, it bothered me to feel her put a gun to my back. She led Doctor Takahashi and me up the stairwell into Obadiah Marsh’s penthouse. There, every single one of the crime lord’s Deep One followers had been blown to pieces. Obadiah, himself, had been riddled with bullets before being left to float in his pool. It was a poetic place for a Deep One to die.

  Ezekiel King would have to wait for his copy of the Necronomicon, but it looked like I’d fulfilled half our contract.

  Albeit inadvertently.

  “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to let me go for old time’s sake?” I asked Aaron.

  “Sorry, John,” Aaron’s voice echoed through the gas mask on her face. “Not happening.”

  “Hey, why does she get to call you John?” Mercury asked, clearly trying to calm the mood. That was right before a gun was shoved into her back, hard.

  Leading us onto the rooftop, I saw two Hunter-13 helicopters had landed. To my surprise, I saw my wife and General Ashton-Smith standing beside them.

  Martha was still dressed in the same clothes she’d worn two days ago and looked somewhat frazzled, a tremendously off look for a woman I’d never known to miss a day’s sleep even after spending an entire day rewiring someone’s brain.

  General Ashton-Smith, on the other hand, looked poised and confident. He was a tall, balding, toffee-skinned man in a thick black coat over a military uniform covered in countless awards, enough to make me look like a rank amateur. Unlike some in the Remnant’s top brass, he’d earned every single one of those awards too.

  Karl Ashton-Smith was the very epitome of an R&E Ranger, a man who had turned down repeated promotions to the General Staff in order to remain the head of Gamma Squadron until the battle with the Color left his left leg crippled. He was even leaning slightly off his cane, trying to hide his infirmity. They were two of the last people on Earth I expected to find here, let alone arrest me. I’d made peace with Martha on the cliff face, sort of, and General Ashton-Smith was my aunt’s husband. He’d been like a father to me after my actual one’s suicide.

  “General?” I asked, hesitantly. I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to salute a man representing the government who’d betrayed you, but I did it anyway. I owed Karl Ashton-Smith my life many times over.

  “President, actually.” He returned my salute.

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m now President of the United States Restored,” Karl said, offering his hand for me to shake. I took it before he said, “The old Council of Leaders has been dissolved.”

  “It has?” Mercury blinked, skeptical of both his claim as well as the grandiose name for a city in the middle of the desert.

  President Ashton-Smith looked at her as if she was something unpleasant underneath his shoe before gazing up at me. “Yes, the Secretary of Finance was found bludgeoned to death in his office by parties unknown.”

  I grimaced. The late Geoffrey Takahashi wouldn’t be missed, but it was unlikely President Ashton-Smith approved of murdering one’s husband. “How did that result in the Council’s fall? Surely, he can’t have been that vital.”

  “The amount of blackmail material he had in his files revealed enough ‘indiscretions’ by the old Council to remove them from office and some from the mortal coil. The files were presented to me by Major Booth.” The newly elected President gestured to my wife. “Not a moment too soon either. The files indicated the Council had some insane plan to annihilate the Wasteland’s civilian populace.”

  Martha just smiled at me. “The revelation of Doctor Ward’s treachery provided the perfect justification for overthrowing the Council of Leaders.”

  In a way, it was disgusting. With only a thousandth of the original size of humanity left on this Earth, mankind was still fighting over who owned the rights to what. None of this was going to help in the battle against Ward, but undoubtedly they’d taken advantage of the power vacuum from Mercury’s husband’s death to paint them as collaborators with the man who’d imperiled the city a dozen times. I wondered how long Martha had been planning this. Was this why I’d been framed or just convenient timing for her to paint herself as the bereaved widow wronged by the Council of Leaders? In the end, it di
dn’t really matter, did it?

  Martha just flashed me an enigmatic smile. It was her way of letting me know I’d never know the truth.

  “I see,” I said. “Thank you.”

  President Ashton-Smith beamed proudly, clearly unaware he was Martha’s puppet. “Needless to say, I was happy to extract some personal vengeance for your execution. I must say, you’re looking very well for a dead man.”

  “Thank you,” I said. “May I ask if this new government is meant to be … permanent?”

  “Excuse me?” President Ashton-Smith asked, seemingly confused by my words.

  Martha sighed, undoubtedly reading my mind. “He’s asking whether or not you intend to rule by fiat.”

  President Ashton-Smith smirked. “Yes. We need strong leadership to guide us through this crisis.”

  This crisis, presumably, being Post-Rising life.

  “I see.” I paused, aware our lives hung in the balance. “Congratulations.”

  Martha smiled. “Which brings us to the matter of you. You have no idea how surprised we were when we received reports from our operatives in the city that you were here, even more so when you radioed us in order to make an arms deal.”

  “I … assumed something different would happen,” I said, uncomfortably aware there were still guns pointed at my back. “I am curious, however, where this leaves me. Doctor Hals … Takahashi as well.”

  “Your ‘execution’ was unjust, John. I’m prepared to offer you a two-rank promotion to the position of Colonel in charge of the R&E Rangers.” The President made air quotes as he said the word execution. “There’s going to be a substantial number of revisions within the New Arkham government. We need men like you, men of vision, to carry out the transition.”

  Mercury coughed into her fist. “And me?”

  “If you ever step foot in New Arkham again, you’ll be shot.” President Ashton-Smith didn’t even bother looking at her.