The Last Kids on Earth: June's Wild Flight

by Max Brallier

  But the Boss Rifter is suspicious. I can practically see the gears turning. He glances down at the clubhouse, then back up to me. “Wait a second . . . Flunk, I told ya to guard—”

  “The human?” I say, snapping up my face visor. I grin at the Boss. “Don’t worry, I’m right here. And so is this. . . . ”

  Globlet inches forward on my shoulder and raises Blasty. “That’s right,” she chirps. “I’m a rubbery little pickpocket!”

  He scowls. “My entire crew is here. And any ol’ second now—”

  He shakes his head. “You’re tough, human girl.”

  “You haven’t seen tough. Now tell me . . .”

  And—I kinda can’t believe it, but—he starts to tell me. He’s about to spill it. And then, suddenly, from below—

  “THE HUMAN PRISONER STOLE MY PANTS! AND ALSO ESCAPED!”

  It’s Flunk—bursting out of the clubhouse.

  Globlet frowns. “He’s really mad about his pants, huh?”

  And that very dumb question reverberates, ringing in my ears, as the Boss Rifter reaches out, grabbing me by the armor, the helmet banging against my ears.

  With one massive heave, the Boss Rifter hurls me to the waterfall’s edge! My foot snags Globlet as I go, then we’re smashing to the grass with a deafening, shattering—

  KA-KRUNCH!

  My helmet pops off. The armor bursts. My golf club stilts snap. Tumbling, end over end, I plow into Johnny Steve, and his mask pops off.

  chapter twenty-six

  “Flunk!” Boss calls out, shouting down at the pantsless guard. “You was s’posed to be guardin’ ’em!”

  “I—I know,” Flunk stammers. “But she tricked me! Her and her friends! The Wretch!”

  The Rifters are suddenly shouting.

  “The Wretch is alive?” one cries.

  “WHERE?” another shouts.

  Neon answers that question, exploding out of a huge plastic shark at the sixteenth hole.

  He comes crashing down beside us, talons slamming into the green.

  The Boss Rifter scowls, then jumps off the waterfall ledge. He hits the green—and it quakes.

  “Perfect.” He sneers. “We’ll bring Thrull his revenge and his Wretch . . .”

  Neon snarls. These are the jerks who tortured him, chased us, and kidnapped me, his friend. Neon isn’t going down without a fight.

  He roars.

  And his roar—usually soft and cute—is loud. I think wow, what a perfect time for him to grow into his roar! He’s like Simba! But then I realize, it’s the karaoke microphone, turning his ROAR into a—

  ROAR!

  Johnny Steve has pressed it against the underside of Neon’s throat. The sound is so epic that the Rifters leap back. I get chills. It’s like Neon is proclaiming ownership over the Rifters’ headquarters and everything in it.

  The Boss Rifter takes a step back. He must be thinking that this baby has suddenly grown full Wretch. That’s a scary deal, wings or no wings.

  “Quickly!” Boss says, pointing to two Rifters in the back. “Untie the Ogres! Get them over here!”

  The two Rifters run off, looking very happy to have an assignment that takes them away from the suddenly ferocious-sounding Wretch. They are unchaining the beasts of burden. I see it clearly, because they’re lit up by a sudden bright light, almost like headlights in the distance.

  I gulp. Oh no. Backup Rifters?

  But no. Wait. Those are actual headlights.

  And then I hear a new voice. This one booms, too. From Neon’s stomach. . . .

  Globlet shrieks. “NEON ATE JACK!”

  I do a double take. . . .

  It takes me a split second to realize what’s happening—

  Neon ate the walkie! And the walkie is working again?!

  “Jack!” I shout, pressing my head to Neon’s belly. “Can you hear me!”

  “Yes, friend!” It’s Quint’s voice now. “You came into range hours ago! We’ve been tracking you—and trying to talk to you. But YOU couldn’t hear US!”

  “I can now!” I say. “Johnny Steve, put the mic up to Neon!”

  There’s a long pause, before—

  “Who’s Johnny Steve? What’s Neon?”

  Before I can answer—

  KA-KLANG!

  There’s a metal smash and the gate enclosing the golf course BUSTS open! Then the sound of action-movie music blasting and Big Mama is suddenly there, exploding through the Putt-Putt sign and my friends are leaping into action. . . .

  Big Mama smacks down onto the green, landing on a plastic pirate ship cannon. Green turf shreds as it spins and slides to a stop.

  “I would say we’re here to help,” Jack says. “But it seems like you’ve got it under control.”

  “I never turn down my friends’ help,” I say. “Let’s do this.”

  Big Mama is flanked by DoomKarts driven by Skaelka, Biggun, and the other Joe’s Pizza monsters. Even Rover is here!

  “Ax time!” Skaelka shrieks gleefully, chasing after the nearest Rifter. He gives a high-pitched squeal and flees—leaping a fence.

  A Rifter runs at Jack, and Jack slashes out with his Louisville Slicer. Now we’re all in the fight. Five Rifters dive at Dirk, but—

  KRAK!

  Biggun sends the villians pinwheeling through the air with one massive slap.

  I whirl, taking in the action—

  It’s a full-on Rifter versus everyone else battle! The Rifters have the numerical advantage, but we have our monster allies, our serious new armor, and we know how to battle as a team.

  “Shields up!” Jack shouts as he grabs a small, scurrying Rifter with his octopus hand and hurls it toward Quint.

  “Up and at ’em!” Quint says, swinging his shield into the Rifter.

  The Rifter hits the ground, hard—then scrambles up and flees.

  “ARE YOU FLEEING?!” the Boss Rifter screams. “IF YOU RUN, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME BACK!”

  I spin, focusing on the Boss. Our eyes lock. He sees that things are not going his way. Snarling, he grabs a Rifter and hurls it at me, but misses.

  In a flash, Neon is by my side.

  I reach out toward him and touch the nubs where he once had wings, but now has armor.

  And he doesn’t pull back from my touch.

  Neon leans into my hand, and it’s like we’re holding each other upright. We look at each other, and I see fear in his eyes. But I also see trust.

  Tremendous trust—because he suddenly spins back, lunges low, and uses his snout to toss me up, and—

  “I’m riding a Wretch!” I shout as I grab the armor and hold on tight. I can’t help but call out to my friends. “Guys! I’m riding a Wretch!”

  “Just like George Washington did, at the battle of Mars!” Johnny Steve exclaims. He has a golf club in one hand and his walking sword in the other and he’s swinging them about like a whirling dervish.

  A Rifter swings a heavy blade, but Neon reels around, knocks him aside, then dodges another Rifter and makes a flying leap onto the rope bridge where Johnny Steve had been performing.

  “Neon!” I cry. “You’re amazing!”

  “DOUBLE AMAZING!”

  I glance down and see Globlet on my shoulder. “Oh hello, fellow Wretch rider!”

  “This is making me nauseous,” Globlet says, “AND I LOVE IT!” I just laugh.

  Neon pauses for a moment, staring out at the mini golf course turned battlefield—and the dozens of scattering Rifters. After a moment, he lets out a tremendous, triumphant “RAWWWR!”

  He lost his wings, his home, and his family. He’s been tracked all over town by bad guys who want to hand him over to Thrull.

  But he’s not broken.

  Not at all.

  “Neon,” I say, leaning forward. “Let’s go find th
at Boss Rifter. It’s time.”

  I feel Neon’s sides expand as he takes a deep breath, and then he bolts forward.

  “Yeep!” Globlet cries out, clawing at my shoulder. We careen through the waterfall and into the cave. A Rifter is waiting for us when we come out the other side. His Ogre lunges for us, but Neon darts between its thick, clumsy legs.

  I apply a little pressure to Neon with my left leg, and he instinctively knows that I’m asking him to turn. He picks up speed as we approach a bin of colorful golf balls.

  “Swing me!” Globlet says, and I whip her around, into the bin, spilling it over on its side.

  I twist around to watch with satisfaction as a pair of Rifters slip, trip, and flip.

  I look around for the Boss Rifter.

  Finally, I spot him and shout, “THERE!”

  The Boss Rifter is scrambling up the fifth hole obstacle. It’s one of those where you have to hit the ball really hard to get it to the top, because otherwise it just comes rolling back down toward you and it takes like fifteen swings and eventually you give up and just PLACE the ball in the hole because the laws of gravity just don’t play fair.

  But Neon makes it to the top in just a few big strides. From there, I see the Boss Rifter jumping onto a long rope ladder and sliding down to the course’s bottom level.

  “He’s doing a getaway-type thing!” Globlet cries out.

  “I don’t think so,” I say.

  Neon growls softly—and I’m pretty sure that’s his version of “I don’t think so.”

  He charges.

  He leaps.

  And for a moment—

  A long moment—

  Neon IS flying.

  The first hole—a massive wooden pirate ship— nearly crumbles as we plow into the Boss Rifter.

  Neon and Globlet both tumble off the deck, onto the putting green below. I’m thrown across the rough, rotted wood. Vines have twisted and broken it, so that the front juts out like a plank.

  I try to scramble to my feet, but it’s the Boss Rifter who rises first.

  I almost laugh, because he couldn’t be more wrong.

  I’m not all alone.

  And if he thinks he can scare me by saying that I am, then he doesn’t know June Del Toro. My friends are always with me, helping me—even when they’re miles and miles away.

  “Where is the Outpost!” I demand.

  He shakes his head. “Why should I tell you?”

  “Because my friends and I—we are going to find Thrull. It’s just a matter of time. And when we do, I’ll have to decide what I say to him.”

  “What are you yappin’ about?” the Boss Rifter asks.

  “Ya know,” I say with a cool shrug. “Do I mention the name of the Rifter who revealed to me that this Outpost even existed? The Rifter who couldn’t manage to wrangle a single Wretch?”

  Boss narrows his eyes at me. He hadn’t thought about that.

  “Or . . .” I say. “Do I forget your name altogether . . . ?”

  “You wouldn’ know how to find it even if I told yer. S’no place for a human—” he says “human” like it’s a dirty word.

  He’s stomping forward and I’m picking up Blasty. Things are about to get ugly, when—

  “JUNE! JUNE!!!”

  It’s Globlet, shrieking in terror. I glance over the side of the ship, at the putting green below us, and I see—

  The Boss’s Ogre! His Ogre has Neon pinned—and it’s pressing him into the ground.

  “Tell him to stop!” I growl. “Right now.”

  “Don’t think I will,” the Boss says.

  I’m this close to learning what I need to learn, to getting information that will lead us to Thrull, lead us to the Tower, and stop Ŗeżżőcħ.

  I have to make a choice. Get the information I need. Or stop the Ogre from crushing Neon.

  I make my decision.

  And in a flash—

  I slam Blasty onto my wrist and fire. Two bottle rockets shriek through the air and—

  The pirate ship rocks and swings as the Ogre staggers away, howling. There’s no more fight left in him. I spin back just in time to see the Boss Rifter leap off the bow of the ship.

  I’m a step too slow—and I’m left watching the Boss Rifter land on the Ogre’s back. Escaping.

  And his Rifters go with him. Ogres pour out from the course with four or five Rifters apiece clinging on for dear life.

  Maybe they’ll look for some other gift to bring Thrull, to prove they can be an asset.

  But they won’t be bringing him any of us.

  I grab hold of a coil of pirate rope—it’s just decoration, but it holds me—and I slide down to the putting green.

  I smile as I see—

  Neon goes down on his belly. Gently, I rub his wing armor. And he smiles.

  I feel like I’m on a team. And it’s a really good feeling.

  I can go it alone. I got this far, after all. But it’s way more fun to fight evil with my buddies by my side. I mean, that’s what buddies are for!

  chapter twenty-seven

  I’m on my fifth bag of Tropical Skittles Jack brought, because he figured I’d be hungry. Which I was. And I’m ALWAYS in the mood to taste the rainbow.

  “Guys, should this be our new hangout?” Dirk asks, looking around. “I dig the skulls. I dig the crossbones. I dig the whole thing.”

  I shake my head. “Hard pass. Please.”

  Quint plucks an electric blue Skittle out of my hands. “June, next time you decide to get lost—could you please keep track of your walkie? I had to listen to hours of weird Wretch stomach grumbling before I could pinpoint your location.”

  I laugh. “Not surprised. Neon’s diet is—well—unusual would be putting it lightly.”

  They all glance down at Neon. He’s gnawing on a Rifter ax handle like it’s a bone. My friends eye him warily. “And you sure he’s not evil?” Jack asks again. “Like . . . REALLY sure?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “I’m not worried,” Dirk says. “Look, Rover loves the shiny dude. They’re golf buddies already.”

  It’s true. Now Rover and Neon are jumping and playing on the eighteenth hole like they’re old friends.

  “Hey, Jack,” I say, grinning. “Did you help Quint with the radio and the map?”

  “Me?” he says. He sticks his hands in his pockets and looks embarrassed. “No, no, of course not. I was, uh, stargazing.”

  “Dude,” I say, “you are the worst liar.”

  “He was just freaking out the whole time,” Dirk says.

  “No way!” Jack protests. “I was very cool. Very calm. I said, you know, June? She’ll be fine on her own. Maybe she’ll come back someday, maybe she won’t, no big deal.”

  “Oh yeah?” I say, raising my eyebrows.

  “Pretty much,” he says with a shrug. “I guess, sure, I was slightly nervous. Medium nervous. Like, a four on a scale of one to ten.”

  Dirk erupts in laughter. “Medium nervous!!” he howls. “Oh man. The kid was having kittens! He calls it a four. You should’ve seen him. . . .”

  Jack blushes. His face is practically magenta. “I really did know you’d be okay out here on your own. I just . . . y’know. I wasn’t sure we’d be okay without you.”

  “We’d all be okay on our own,” I say. “But we’re better together. Like peanut butter and marshmallow fluff.”

  I’m trying to find a free second to tell my friends the stuff I learned about Thrull and what the Boss Rifter revealed about the Outpost, but Globlet and Johnny Steve are sort of dominating the conversation. They’re regaling everyone with the story of their epic journey and blowing the whole thing way out of proportion.

  When the sun comes up, we begin the journey back home. We take Big Mama most of the way—but then Neon star
ts to get fidgety in the backseat, and Skaelka keeps nagging us to drive, so we let the monsters take the truck.

  And we walk.

  Nobody asks where Neon will stay. . . . With me? With Rover? I’m not even sure. I’m thinking it over when Johnny Steve announces, “Well, human-folks—I must be on my way now.”

  “Whoa, what?” I ask, stopping dead in my tracks. “You’re not really leaving . . . ?”

  He nods his head. “I have business out there in the unexplored lands. I must meet with a monster. Our reunion is long overdue. . . .”

  “Reunion?” Globlet exclaims. “I LOVE REUNIONS!”

  “What kind of business?” Jack asks.

  “I’m afraid I cannot say,” Johnny Steve says. “But I promise you that Neon and I will keep each other fine company.”

  “Wait,” I say. I look from Neon to Johnny Steve and back to Neon. “Neon’s coming with you?”

  “He has business as well,” Johnny Steve says, patting Neon’s hide.

  After all that. After everything we’ve been through, they’re just gonna pick up and leave? I crouch down next to Neon. “You don’t have to go, you know,” I tell him, my voice catching.

  But then Neon puts something in my head. One last vision. It’s like a replay—a flashback of what happened hours earlier.

  It’s me, letting the Boss Rifter escape so that I could save Neon. I’m making a sacrifice by not learning the location of the Outpost so that he could get away.

  And it’s like Neon’s saying he’ll make it up to me.

  I run my hand over his back, about to tell him he doesn’t owe me anything. But then I remember something Bardle once said. Some monsters are on the side of good—willing to make their own sacrifices to defeat Ŗeżżőcħ.

  Neon is my friend, but something out there is calling him. Something I can’t be a part of. His own adventure, maybe. And this time, he’ll have friends waiting for him when he gets home.