Mars Needs Chickens!

by John Taloni

  “That’s right.” Peter moved away and poured water in a different area. As he did so, chickens came to the fence and clucked towards the colony creature. One of them fluttered over the fence and came to peck at the worm organism.

  “Shoo! Shoo!” Smita chased the giant chicken back over the fence.

  “Buck BUCK!” it exclaimed, flapping back over.

  “Well, they seem to think our Martian friends are delicious.”

  “I’ll take their word for it,” said Peter.

  “There’s news,” said Smita. She waited for Peter to finish his current action at the mini-lab before continuing. “The police have reported in. There’s a large colony creature forming at the fountain. They turned off the pipes, but not until it had absorbed a lot of water.” She pointed to the other dome. “And it seems to be consolidating itself there.”

  In the main dome, the tendrils lowered to street level. They became a black flow, like a liquid made up of large discrete drops.

  “We’ll need to bust it up before it breaks into our main water supply,” said Peter.

  “Yes, well, any ideas?” Smita gazed at Peter with a calm look that he had learned indicated that she was completely frantic inside.

  “No. I mean, yes, but a lot of supposition. Wild theories really.” Peter kicked at the dirt.

  “Out with it. Time is short” said Smita.

  Peter sighed. “The growth hormones that we’ve been feeding the Tyrannosaurus Rexes. It seems to make the worms grow. By themselves they’re microscopic and only get to visible size from the hormones.”

  “The ones that have almost no effect on the Tyrannosaurus Rexes.” Smita pursed her lips.

  “True, but just one of them made the chickens gigantic. Granted that was a lucky hit. We’ve been using a wide variety on the Tyrannosaurus Rexes.”

  Smita nodded. “This presupposes that Martian life is sufficiently like Earth that it would be affected.”

  “Why not?” Peter asked rhetorically. Panspermia theory, perhaps both planets were seeded from spores in space. Or a meteor strike blasted microscopic life forms from one planet, landing on another.

  “So we could be related,” said Smita. “What can you do with that?”

  “Nothing yet,” said Peter. “I’m working on a chemical that would make the colony discorporate. That would make it dissolve into some pretty harmless worms that are easily managed. If we can get that to work, that is. If I’m right, we need only handle this one time. After that it will be a manageable problem, like regular worms.”

  Smita spoke into her phone. “The police force is going to coordinate with our labs. They should be able to whip up something in at least small doses.”

  “What else are they doing?” Peter asked in a distracted fashion as he walked around his ersatz work area. Small colony organisms gathered themselves together as he supplied water in strategic spots.

  “They’ve tried small explosives. It penetrates the outer area to little effect. The worms just organized back into the hole.”

  “Can they get closer?”

  “Not really. The tentacles hit at them if they do. They tried driving a bus into it, but the organism just closed over the front. The driver got out the back luckily, but they aren’t eager to try that again.

  “Uh huh.” Peter kept walking around. He applied a chemical solution to one colony organism with an eyedropper, made a few notes, then moved on to another. He went on in a similar fashion for about an hour. Finally one organism slumped to one side after he applied the solution.

  “Have them try this formula,” Peter said to Smita. She read it over the phone to their lab.

  “It’s the best so far, but it’s only moderately effective,” he continued.

  “Well then, back to work,” said Smita.

  Peter nodded, distracted, his focus on his work.

  An hour later Smita came by with a status report.

  “How did it work?” Peter looked up from his desk, where he had retreated to look at results..

  “Not much effect,” said Smita. “The exterior of the larger organism just absorbs the chemical. No slump and certainly no discorporation.”

  Peter sighed. He leaned over and put his head in his hands.

  At that moment one of the giant chickens fluttered over the fence enclosure and made a beeline for the small group of colony organisms Peter had grown for his tests.

  “Hey, get back!” He stood up, but the chicken had already reached them. As Peter moved to intercept, two other chickens did the same. They pecked at the organisms, separating out individual worms with their beaks.

  Smita ran with him. Both waved their hands at the chickens. “Stop! Stop!” Both yelled.

  Then one of the chickens pecked in the middle of the crown at the top of the colony organism. It slumped down and dissolved into component worms. The other chickens focused their efforts on the fleeing worms, gobbling them up as they wriggled.

  “Or, perhaps, ‘go, go chickens go!’” Peter skidded to a halt and stared, slack jawed. He and Smita swapped significant looks. The chickens moved off as they finished the worms.

  Peter went to his desk and came back with a glass rod. He whacked a colony organism on the tip from the side, like a small sledgehammer. The organism just bounced and came back up. He tried poking the middle of the crown with the rod. No effect.

  “In for a penny, in for a pound,” muttered Peter. He took off his shoe and placed the rod on the crown. With a swift motion he smacked the sole of his shoe into the rod, as if driving a stake. The colony organism shuddered and dissolved. Peter danced back to avoid the flood of worms.

  “Well, that certainly was grotesque,” said Smita.

  “Like a nest of cockroaches,” Peter agreed. He stood on one leg while putting his shoe back on.

  Smita got back on her phone. “Try getting some small explosives into the middle,” she said, explaining to the police chief. She stayed on the phone for a few minutes, then hung up.

  “Nice idea, but the angle is bad for them. They can’t reach from the rooftops. The thing is growing, too.”

  “Which means it’s found additional sources of water. Not good. Can they do something else? Bounce the explosives off the dome?”

  “Are you seriously suggesting that we expose the dome to explosives?” Smita raised an eyebrow towards Peter.

  “Yeah, bad idea. Problem solving mode, you know.”

  Twenty feet away, Katy kicked idly at some dirt, pretending not to listen. When they were done she went up to Kaz and his group, who were throwing treats to the mini Tyrannosaurus Rexes.

  “Hey Kaz. You wanna really ride those chickens? Because I have an idea.” She explained briefly.

  “I dunno,” said Kaz. “Dad would get mad at me.”

  “Do you always do what your dad wants? If you’re scared I’ll just do it myself.”

  “I am not scared!” Kaz stuck his head at Katy, scrunching his face together. “But it’s dangerous.”

  “No more dangerous than sitting here doing nothing,” said Katy.

  “It does sound fun,” said Kaz.

  “Come on then.” She went over to Hestia and spoke to her.

  “Buck BUCK,” the chicken clucked. Katy got on.

  “Hey Dad, we’re gonna ride the Chocobos a while,” said Kaz.

  Yoshi started to object, but Smita stopped him. “Let them ride. They could use the distraction.”

  “Very well,” said Yoshi. He made an extended exhalation through pursed lips.

  With Katy astride, Hestia headed over to the chicken group. She gently beaked them into order. One chicken resisted having a rider placed on her back. Hestia made light clucks while standing beak to beak and the smaller chicken subsided.

  With a swift “Buckaw!” Hestia headed down the Chocobo track. The other giant chickens followed. They went through one loop of the track and then another.

  After a third loop Hestia took to the air and flew towards the “Lord of the Rings Short V
ersion” ride. The other chickens followed, their line breaking down and becoming less orderly. “Buck Buck!” Hestia called. The chickens more or less followed her lead.

  After one loop Hestia landed. The other chickens followed suit. Hestia clucked at them and then took off again. The flock took off and followed again. They each made a pronounced downward swoop at the Mount Doom section, then back up again. The third time the line of chickens made an orderly procession through the ride.

  After four loops, the chickens stopped for a rest. Smita called out to Katy.

  “Uh oh, I better go,” Katy said to Kaz. “Keep them here.” Hestia trotted over to Smita.

  “Katy darling,” said Smita in a low voice, “it does look like you’re enjoying yourself with your new friends.”

  “Oh yes!” Katy forced cheerfulness into her voice. “Just trying to keep people distracted, you know.”

  “Right, right,” said Smita. “Of course, to someone who knows you, it looks like you might be doing a test run.”

  “Um...of course not!”

  “Yes, well. If you were, it would be irresponsible of me to point out that I’ve just acquired a container of the explosive charges that the police tried to shoot into the colony organism. Strictly for your father’s testing purposes here of course. I made sure your dad infused them with the chemical that he used for his first successful experiment.” Smita hefted the container by a makeshift handle. “The charges aren’t dangerous right now because I have them all keyed to a detonator, which I’ve got right here.” Smita patted her shirt pocket.

  “That...would be irresponsible,” agreed Katy. “Unless we all agreed to be careful and not take unnecessary chances.”

  “Yes. Even then, I couldn’t make such a decision on my own.” Smita waved over a person from the crowd.

  “Mom!” Katy urged Hestia forward. “I thought you were supposed to stay inside!”

  “Hi honey,” said Kim. “Smita said she needed some urgent help that only I could provide. I could guess it involved you.” Kim patted Hestia on the torso and laid a hand on her daughter’s leg. “If you can do this, life will go back to normal soon. If you can’t, we’ll likely have to evacuate the dome. That would mean giving up everything here and going back to Earth. We’d live, but it would be a big waste. So do try, but be safe.”

  Katy smiled and made a mock salute. She and Hestia headed back to the other group.

  They made another run around the course, then Katy headed straight for the basket of explosives. Her father looked up as she ran by and said “No, don’t!” Kim stepped next to him and gripped him by the arm, holding him back. “Really?” he said. Kim nodded and Peter sighed.

  The giant chickens and their riders ran through the connecting tunnel. Before anyone else could react they came out into the main dome.

  The group trotted down the street until they arrived at a main thoroughfare. They then ran up it until the central park came into view. The police had made a cordon a hundred yards back from the park. The chickens took flight well before the line.

  “Wait! Stop!” Several police yelled and a few ran towards the chickens. They arrived too late. The chickens took flight and circled around. They went above the cordon and then through the park. As they approached the colony organism, tentacles slapped at the chickens. They swerved to avoid contact, but still a few landed hits.

  “Buck buck!” Hestia called to the flock. They backed off, circling back out to land on buildings overlooking the central area. Once secure on a rooftop, Hestia rustled her feathers before settling down.

  “Hestia?” Katy urged her forward. The giant chicken bobbed her head back and forth, but did not take off.

  A moment later, Katy’s phone rang. “Hi mom. No, the chickens don’t want to go. The tentacles are scaring them. They’re right, too. We could be knocked out of the air.”

  Back in the other dome, Smita paced back and forth.

  “What’s wrong?” Kim Costello looked at Smita with concern.

  “They can’t do the approach. The tentacles are too much.”

  Yoshi Tabata came up behind them. “Perhaps we should evaluate our resources.”

  “Yoshi! You aren’t-”

  “Mad? I suppose I should be. But my son is impulsive as well. Better that energy is channeled.”

  “We already had the police attempt to distract it with bullets. They just pass through.”

  “Not that. It seems our mini Rexes enjoy the taste of worm as well.” Yoshi pointed to the Tyrannosaurus Rex exhibit, where the five foot tall specimens congregated at the fence nearest Peter’s tests with the smaller colony creatures.

  Smita smiled. “I’ll call the police here. We’ll herd them to it.”

  “Carefully,” said Yoshi. “Avoid further damage.”

  Smita gave him a terse smile, then began organizing with the police. Several minutes later the T-Rexes were loosed in a carefully prepared lane leading to the colony creature in the center of the main dome.

  With some shooing, the Tyrannosaurus minis were pushed onto a street that led to the central park. Once they spotted the giant colony organism they started running towards it.

  “RAAAAAHHHHTTTTT! RAAAAHHHTTT!” The noise reverberated through the streets.

  “Well, I think it’s safe to say they are excited,” said Smita while covering her ears.

  Moments later the mini Rexes arrived at the central park. They immediately began attacking the colony organism. Their claws did little damage on each individual strike, but they kept at it and gouged holes in the outer wall.

  Tentacles reached down from several stories above them and struck at the Tyrannosaurus Rex mini monsters. Even though the tentacles hit, they did not deter the Rexes from attacking.

  With the tentacles now diverted, the chickens could attack. “Hestia, are you ready?” Katy urged her mount forward. With a flutter of wings, Hestia took to the air. She flapped towards the colony organism in the center of the park, mounted over the fountain where Hestia had first taken flight so many months ago. The chickens followed one after the other, making a ragged line in the air.

  Abruptly Kaz and his ride appeared at Katy and Hestia’s side. “I wanna be first!” Hestia spooked at the sudden appearance and veered to one side in a flurry of wings. She dropped towards the ground, her flight pattern interrupted by the disturbance.

  The flock’s line separated and turned into disarray. Hestia issued a loud “BUCKAW!” She fluttered her wings, attracting the flock’s attention. “Buck buck BUCK!” Hestia headed back to the rooftop and the flock followed.

  Once safely on the rooftops again, Katy turned to Kaz. “Don’t do that. You’re messing up the line! We have to work together. I need you to be last.”

  “No way! I’m gonna be first!” Kaz stuck his chin out in aggression.

  Hestia turned into a flurry of clucks. “Buck BUCK!” She nosed one chicken into place, then another behind it. “Buck buck BUCKAW!” She pushed the other two as well, then finally put Kaz and his mount into last place. “BUCK!” That cluck had the force of command.

  “Buck buckaw,” agreed Kaz’s mount, and took its place in line.

  “Oh, fine,” said Kaz.

  Hestia stood on the edge of the rooftop and fluttered her wings. She took off. The chickens followed her, one after the other. The line remained straight, following Hestia in the air.

  Hestia and Katy flew directly towards the middle of the colony organism. At the correct moment Katy signalled Hestia and she swooped down, giving her rider a clear shot at the middle. Katy threw and yelled. “For Frodo!” The explosive charge fell directly in the middle. Hestia pulled up.

  The next chicken in line swooped, following Hestia’s example. That rider’s missile also hit. “Gollum lives!” the rider cried. The next was not so lucky, and bounced off to one side. The remaining three had similar luck: Two hits, one miss.

  Hestia circled around and came in again. Riders threw their payload of mini explosives, saturating the middle
stalk of the colony organism. After four passes they had used up their ammunition.

  The flock fluttered back to the rooftop, still in an organized line. As they landed, Katy’s phone rang.

  “All clear?” Smita’s voice rang out from the speaker.

  “Yep, but I’m not sure we hit enough,” said Katy.

  “We’re going to find out soon!” Smita hit the detonator button. A series of small explosions occurred in the middle stalk. The colony organism slumped, then collapsed into a pile of worms.

  “Buck buck buck! Buck buck buck!” The chickens flapped around in a frenzy. They fluttered down to the ground, riders still attached, and began pecking at the worms.

  Adults ran forward to help the children off the chickens. Kim reached Katy first. “Nice work, honey! Now it’s all clean up.”

  “Not sure there will be much left to clean,” said Katy. A flurry of chickens pecked at the ground around her. Nearby, mini Tyrannosaurus Rexes also enjoyed a feast.

  #

  Back in the tourist dome, the group congregated for a rest and some refreshments. They left the animals to a well deserved feast.

  “I think the chickens will be on worm duty for a while,” Smita reflected.

  “They don’t mind the rides so much,” replied Katy. “Just not all the time.”

  “I think we can arrange that,” said Yoshi. “Life on Mars! Even if it is odd-acting worms. It is historic.”

  “The research money won’t hurt, eh Yoshi?” Smita gave him a sly smile, which he returned. “And I have scientists to reward.” She drew in a deep breath and sighed. “We’ll be cleaning up for a month. The problem should go down to a small nuisance if we’re more careful here.”

  “Too bad the Tyrannosaurus Rexes are such a disappointment,” Peter put in. “We just can’t seem to get them any bigger. And we’ll have to be much more careful with growth hormone now.”

  “Oh, I am not so sure,” replied Yoshi. “Can you make them smaller?”

  “It’s hard to even get them to the five foot size!” Peter made a wry smile.

  “A smaller version may make an exotic pet for the right market. A high scale market. Big profit margins.” Peter drew in a breath to speak, but Yoshi went on. “With a lot of safeguards, correctly licensed. Using equipment we will also sell at a high margin.” Peter nodded, a smile on one side of his mouth.