Hating You

by Beck, J. L.

  “You can’t do this,” her lips tremble, and while it sounds like she’s afraid, she’s not telling me to stop, and that’s good enough for me. I want this, need this. I’ve waited three long days to feel her beneath me. It’s time to watch the fragile beauty fall apart at my touch. If she remembers anything, it’ll be how she wanted this as badly as I did.

  “I can, and I’m going to.” Confidence oozes from every pore in my body as I move my fingers lower, till I’m grazing her entrance.

  “Would you fuck her already, we don’t have all day,” Nate calls from the door and like a dog with a bone, I turn and pierce him with a look that would normally be reserved for my enemies. Something he’s going to find himself if he doesn’t knock it the fuck off.

  Unphased by the look, the asshole rolls his eyes at me, and I make a mental note to slug him in the face later. Directing my attention back to Willow, I grip her by the chin with my other hand, my hardened touch causing her big green eyes to flutter open.

  Using my middle finger, I press it against her drenched cunt, exhaling as it slips inside her with ease. Her lips part, a soft sigh exhaling from them. She closes her eyes again, but I like seeing her. In her eyes, I can see how vulnerable she is, how much she wants this, and I need that. I need to be able to see that this is a punishment and nothing more.

  “Open your eyes,” I command. “I want you to look at me while you come all over my finger.” I half expect her to close her eyes out of spite, just because she wants to defy me wherever she can. Instead, she surprises me by keeping them open, staring up at me without even blinking it seems. All her fight and defiance are diminishing by the second, leaving a good amount of lust behind.

  Breathing heavily now, her perfectly straight white teeth sink into her pouty bottom lip, probably in an attempt to keep herself from moaning. I slide my finger in as deep as I can, all while keeping the rough pad of my thumb on her clit, drawing small circles against it.

  Cum beads the tip of my cock, and like a teenage boy, I wonder if Willow has the power to make me come in my jeans. Of course, she does, she’s the one temptation I can’t give in to, the one thing my body craves.

  Each second that passes makes her breathing grow rougher, her head twists from side to side as she fights against my touch, against each thrust of my finger into her tight little hole.

  “Fall apart for me. I want to feel you gush all over my hand. I want to see what your face looks like when you realize what I can do to you… that I do own you.”

  She shakes her head furiously, a silky strand of her black hair flies into her face blocking half of it from view, but I don’t have to see her eyes to know what she’s feeling. Moving my finger faster, I put more pressure against her clit. I can see she is close, feel it, smell it even, her arousal cloaks the air making it hard for me to breathe.

  Releasing her chin, I move my hand back to her perky breast, finding her nipple, I squeeze it through her sweater and bra. At the onslaught of sensations her head falls back against Warren’s chest, I’d almost forgot he was here at all. The muscles in my arm strain, my entire body begging for me to just strip her bare and fuck her out of my mind.

  Her green eyes glaze over, and that pretty fucking mouth forms a perfect O moments before she shatters, coming apart right down the middle. Her pussy clenches around my finger, so tight and warm, I almost come in my pants, thinking about how my cock would feel inside of her right now.

  “Fuck…. So tight and warm.” I grit out, continuing to rub her swollen nub until it stops pulsing, and I know her orgasm has rippled through her completely. Regretfully, I pull my hand out of her pants. Even if I want to spend all day there, I can’t. I can’t let her know how weak I am for her; how much I crave her. She’s like a drug, addicting, pulse-pounding.

  Like an addict seeking out his next fix, I bring my finger to my mouth, the same one that was just inside her. Sucking the digit into my mouth, I let her tangy juices explode against my tongue. She watches me through hooded eyes, her breathing still uneven but not as erratic as it was a few minutes ago. Her cheeks are a bright red now, her entire body still trembling. She leans back against Warren, and I bet if it weren’t for him holding her, she’d be on the ground.

  “Next time, it will be your turn,” I tell her before taking a step back. I want to take her into my arms, take her with me back to my house, but I can’t. Won’t. She’s nothing but trouble, nothing but a fucking liar, and I can’t forget that, no matter how tempting she is, no matter how sexy she looks when she falls apart.

  “Let’s go, Warren.”

  With her pants still undone, Warren releases her with a shove toward the table. Her hands fly out, and she grabs onto the edge to steady herself. I curl my hands into fists to stop myself from reaching out to her, and instead, take another step back. My chest heaves, and it feels like I can’t breathe. I may not have come, but it still feels like she took a piece of me with her when she fell off that ledge.

  Forcing my hands to uncurl, I adjust my jeans against my strained cock and walk away without looking back. Warren is by my side when I reach the door. Brushing by Nate, I ram my shoulder into his. He doesn’t say anything thankfully and simply shakes his head, falling into step as I walk out and into the hallway.

  With every step I take, I try my best to get the image of her face as she came out of my brain, but I don’t know why I try. I already know it’ll forever be branded in my mind.

  7

  Willow

  I can’t believe what just happened. I’m in the science lab on my own now. My pants are still undone, my panties are soaked, and my pussy is throbbing from the intense release I just experienced. As I’m coming down from the endorphin rush, dread starts to set in my bones.

  Parker just made me come…but that’s not the worst part. He did it in front of his friends. He did it to prove a point, that he owns this place, that he owns me, my body, my feelings they’re all his. I feel humiliated, dirty, and used.

  When my breathing has evened out, and my heartbeat has returned to a somewhat normal rhythm, I stand up a little straighter. My knees are still shaking, and my stance is unsure as I button and zip up my pants.

  Part of me wants to remain in this classroom, hiding from the world, while the other wants to run out, to run away and never come back here. What the hell am I going to do? What the hell was I thinking provoking him like that? My hands tremble as I stare at them.

  “Next time it will be your turn...” his words run on a loop through my head. What did he mean? That I’ll jerk him off? Jesus, what is wrong with him, but more importantly, what’s wrong with me? How could I have been so aroused by this? Why was I so wet? Why am I still thinking about what happened? And if it’s going to happen again. No, no… this is all wrong.

  The more the fog of arousal is lifted from my mind, the clearer my thoughts become. This is so fucked up. Parker is fucked up, and I need to get away from him. He’s just proven that he has no boundaries. He thinks he can do whatever he wants, and in a way, I guess he can, but that doesn’t mean I have to let him do anything to me again.

  Taking my phone out of my bag, I unlock the sleek device with trembling hands. I don’t want to do this, but I feel cornered, trapped. Looking through my contact list, I scroll to the last person I want to call, but the only one who can actually help me in my current situation. I push the green call button and hold the phone to my ear.

  After a few rings, my father finally picks up.

  “Willow,” his stern voice comes through the line, and if I wasn’t feeling like crap before, I am now, knowing that I have to do this. “How is everything going at Blackthorn?”

  “Not good, Dad,” I admit. “Not good at all.” I sigh into the empty room, knowing that nothing good is going to come of this phone call.

  “What did you do, Willow?” Of course, he blames me. He has no idea what I’m calling about, but his first thought is that I did something wrong. It’s times like these that I wish my mother were s
till alive. If she were here, nothing would’ve ever happened to Ashton… I wouldn’t be here now, a pawn in my father’s sick chess game.

  “I didn’t do anything unless you count being alive and being here, wrong, which apparently Parker does.” I’m trying really hard not to sound like a whiny little brat, but it’s harder than you’d expect. I hate being here already, and I hate that he’s here even more. “Dad, I can’t do this. I can’t be here. He hates me, he threatens me constantly, and he—”

  “Willow,” my father cuts me off. “Stop being so dramatic and do what I told you to do. If Parker is there and noticing you, then that’s exactly what we want.”

  No, it’s what you want.

  “It’s wrong, he wants me to sleep with him. I—”

  “What’s the issue then? If he wants you, then use that to your advantage. Sleep with him, wrap him around your finger. Do whatever it takes to get into his good graces.”

  What?

  I hold the phone away for a moment, looking at the screen, hoping the phone might be broken or something. That would make more sense than him saying what he just said.

  “You’re kidding, right?” I bring the phone back to my ear. “You don’t actually expect me to sleep with him… I mean, you can’t really, right?” I feel like I’m in some horror movie that keeps playing on repeat, every time the killer kills me, I come back, reliving the same events over and over again.

  “God, you are so dramatic. Don’t act like you are some kind of saint who’s saving herself for marriage. Spread your legs if you have to. You’re a woman, that’s what’s going to get you places. It’s how the world works, Willow, so don’t blame me. I didn’t make the rules. Just remember, sex is only what you make of it.”

  “No… I won’t… that’s… do you even hear yourself right now?” My stomach twists so violently I have to hold onto the side of the table.

  Frustration burns through the phone line. “Look, Willow. I don’t care if you sleep with him or not as long as you get into his circle of friends. Just make it easy on yourself and get it done soon. Your sister has cost me enough time and trouble, don’t make the same mistakes she did. Just do what you’re told.”

  Just be my puppet… that’s all I hear.

  “I’m not staying here. You can’t expect me to, not with how insane he is. You don’t understand. He’s going to hurt me, he’s already tried—”

  My father chuckles into the phone, “Parker is a college kid, a fly, what’s he going to do?” The better question would be, what isn’t he going to do?

  “You’re perfectly safe there, and you’ll remain there, that is unless you want your sister to be homeless?” The threat hangs in the air between us.

  “So, we’re back to threats, great, you’re no better than Parker.” I grip the phone hard enough to break it. I’m so tired of this. I dealt with it all last year, and this year I thought it would be better, different. But it’s not, it’s all just the same. Same shit, different day.

  “Goodbye, Willow,” he hangs up the phone without another word. He just hangs up! I’m not even sure what to say at this point.

  Even more shocked than before this phone call, I stand in the center of the empty science lab. Tears prick at my eyes, and before I know it, they’re falling, leaving streaks down my cheeks. I guess the only good thing about today is that I didn’t cry in front of Parker and his friends.

  I wanted to cry. I wanted to beg and plead, to tell him to stop, but I didn’t. I knew better. It wouldn’t have helped me any. What he did today, it was a warning, it could’ve been much worse, and it will be if I don’t stay out of his way.

  Peering down at my black phone screen, I know what I have to do.

  * * *

  A few days have passed since our run-in, and I’m about to head to English literature, one out of two classes I’ve been dreading going back to. I’ve managed to avoid Parker, at all costs, mainly by hiding out in my room, but I know I can’t hide today, much less forever.

  I’ve spent the last few nights thinking about what Alice and I had talked about, and as much as I hate to say it, I think apologizing is my best shot at being forgotten right now.

  Maybe it will make things better. Perhaps if I explain that my father won’t let me leave, that I overstepped, which I didn’t, he’ll understand. Yeah, right. That’s wishful thinking.

  It won’t matter to Parker. He won’t care, just like his brother didn’t care that night. Shaking my head, I try not to think about my sister or even my father. No one can save me, protect me. There is just me.

  Arriving early to class, I walk to the back of the room and take the same seat as last time. Parker isn’t here yet, and thankfully so. I suck in a tiny breath of relief, thinking over what exactly I’m going to say to him. I’ve barely got my books out of my bag when Parker comes strolling down the aisle.

  Half of the chairs are still empty, but of course, he chooses to take the one right next to me. Because why not choose one of the twenty other empty seats?

  “Did you keep a seat for me?” he asks, a smug look on his arrogant, beautiful face. I want to come back with a snarky remark. Something like: you can shove that seat up your ass, but I swallow the insult down instead.

  “Yes, actually… I wanted to talk to you.”

  He raises his eyebrows, looking thoroughly intrigued. “Yeah, is that so?”

  “I wanted to apologize… ah for, kneeing you… you know in the…” I stumble over the words, and my stupid cheeks flame as if the sun is beating on them.

  “Balls?” He finishes for me.

  “Yes, for that.” Even though you deserved it, I add in my head.

  For a long moment, he just looks at me, studying me like I’m a math problem to be solved.

  “Your words mean nothing to me,” he blinks slowly, “however, you can come back to my place after class and show me how sorry you are.”

  “I…” I should have known he would say something like this, I’m still a little shocked. I take my bottom lip between my teeth. I know better, every single cell in my body is going off, blinking with a bright red sign telling me what a bad idea that would be. But if it’s my only option, I can take this stupid mark off my back…

  “Worried? Afraid?” He feeds right into my fear like he has a direct line to it.

  Do I admit that I’m afraid, or do I just let him think whatever he wants? After what he did to me the other day, I doubt he cares about me being scared of him, or his friends, then again, he seems to be a little more composed now, less angry.

  “If I do this, come to your house and do whatever… will you leave me alone afterward?”

  Amusement flickers in his chocolate-brown depths, and I don’t know why I’m trying to make a deal with the devil. “No, Willow. I won’t ever leave you alone. Not as long as you are here at this school. I don’t care how many times you apologize, nothing is going to erase what you did. You destroyed my brother’s life with your lie. You destroyed mine.”

  “I didn’t lie—” The words get cut off when Parker slams his fist on the table, making me, and the people sitting in front of us jump. The professor, who has already entered the classroom, glances over to us but doesn’t say a word. Reminding me once again that no one is going to stand up to Parker.

  I have the urge to get up and run out of the class, to leave Parker behind, and find someone to talk to. Trouble is, I have no one. Even Alice has been distancing herself from me.

  Ever since I told her about what happened, she’s been avoiding me, going as far as staying somewhere else overnight instead of in our shared dorm room. I’m alone in this, completely alone. I never should’ve come here. Never.

  “That’s the problem with you, Bradford girls. All you do is lie and manipulate and…” Parker is reaching his boiling point, lips curled, and the edges of his face hardened, making him appear more like a brooding statue. He’s a bomb, and I’m watching, waiting for him to detonate.

  “Look, I’m sorry, Parker… I d
idn’t…”

  Anger pours out of him, and I shiver at the image before me as he leans in, his face mere inches from my own. I can smell the mint on his breath, feel his anger as it charges the air.

  “Shut up. I don’t want to hear you speak, or even breathe. As long as you remain here, you will be mine. I thought I made that clear the other day, or do I need to remind you again?”

  I shake my head without even thinking. Being humiliated by him once was enough, but to go through it again. No, I won’t survive another incident like that. I’m already tired of being his punching bag. His nostrils flare, and his gaze hardens further. My own aggravation mixes with fear, and I realize then that I’m doing exactly what he told me to. Sinking further in my seat, I open my books up and face the front of the room, pretending like he’s not there at all.

  “Good girl, now maybe later I’ll reward you. Or maybe I’ll punish you. Just remember to be seen and not heard.” And like a fucking dog who has just done a trick, he pats me on the head and settles into the seat beside me. I don’t know how I do it, but somehow, I manage to bite my tongue. As class goes on, doubt starts to build in my gut. When will I learn? When will I realize that no matter what I say to him, no matter what proof I have against Brett, he will never believe me? In his eyes, Ashton and I are to blame and not his brother. Forget apologizing to him. I’m done. I’ll just lay low from here on out.

  I almost laugh at the thought. Like he’s going to let that happen. No, Parker is out to terrorize me, to hurt me. The professor starts class, and the temperature in the room grows hotter and hotter. Sitting this close makes it impossible to ignore him. His spicy scent, every little twitch of his jaw, or bulge of his bicep. I notice it all. Feel it all. Deep down in my core.