When We Were Us

by Elena Aitken

  “Yeah.” Drew gave her a pointed look. “Mark. What does he think about you singing? You have told him, right?”

  “Well, here’s the thing…”

  “Christy.” Drew sat up and stared at her until finally she put her mug down.

  “No,” she admitted. “I haven’t told him. But it’s not because it’s a secret.” That was a lie and judging by her friend’s face, she wasn’t the only one who knew it. “It’s just that Mark’s been really busy for the last few days and he’s been running a lot. Did I tell you he’s decided to do another ultra-marathon?” She tried to force a smile but Drew just shook her head.

  “Tell him. He loves you and he’ll be excited for you. You know that.”

  Christy did. But she still couldn’t tell him. Not yet. And she couldn’t even begin to explain to her friend why she wanted it to stay a secret from him. Especially when she couldn’t put it into words herself.

  “I’ll tell him. But not yet.” She held her hand up to ward off the objections she knew Drew would have. “But only because it feels kind of cool that this is my little secret. Like it’s extra special. Does that make sense?”

  “No.”

  “Don’t tell him,” she pleaded. “Please.”

  “I won’t.” Drew picked up her mug again. “It’s not my story to tell. But can I tell you something, Christy? Something I’ve only just recently learned?”

  Drew’s face changed. The easy smile was gone again, replaced by the curtain of sadness that hung over her most of the time. Christy nodded, and Drew continued.

  “All of this with Eric…it’s just made me realize how lucky we are. And not just Eric and me, but you and Mark. Cam and Evan. All of us. Love isn’t guaranteed and living a long life with the one you love is even less of a guarantee. I know you guys have been through a lot of stress lately as well and—”

  “It’s not like—”

  “We’re not comparing here, Christy,” Drew cut her off. “It doesn’t have to be the same. Stress is stress and it’s hard on a relationship. But the one thing I’ve learned is that you need to cherish every moment, even the stressful ones with the one you love. Because…well, you just never know how much time you have.”

  Mark only intended on going for a short run around town that morning, but as he ran past River Park, he couldn’t help but notice the same bright-blue Jeep in the parking lot. Before he realized what he was doing, he changed direction and headed toward the parking lot and the familiar blonde head.

  “How’s the ankle?”

  Startled, the woman jerked up from where she’d been tying her shoe and looked around. When she saw Mark, her face morphed from a mask of worry to a brilliant smile.

  “Hey there,” she said. “The ankle’s doing fine. Thanks…Mark, right?”

  He nodded. “Alicia?” As if he didn’t remember her name. He remembered, all right. And for some reason, that felt completely wrong but all at the same time, very exciting. Alicia’s face had popped up in his mind more than once over the last few days. Just remembering her smile put one on his face, too. “I’m glad to hear your ankle’s feeling better,” he continued when she confirmed her name.

  “It’s been a frustrating few days.” She finished tying her shoes and stood straight. “But I’m finally ready to get back out there and see if it will hold up.”

  “Is this your first run on it?” The doctor in him kicked in and he was instantly concerned. Ankles could be tricky and despite the fact that he barely knew the woman, he didn’t want to see her hurt it again if it wasn’t ready for a run. “Did you have it checked out?”

  She laughed. “No, Doc. I didn’t. But there was barely any swelling and it hasn’t even remotely bothered me for the last twenty-four hours. I think I can handle a slight jog.”

  Mark wasn’t convinced, but he knew all too well how frustrating it could be to be sidelined from an injury when you were keen to get training.

  “Would it make you feel better to examine it yourself?”

  “It actually would.” He laughed and nodded to the ankle. “May I?”

  Alicia leaned back against the car and lifted her spandex-clad leg so he could take it in his hands.

  Mark did a series of basic manipulations, and just as she’d said, it didn’t seem to be giving her any trouble at all. Gently, he put her ankle down and shrugged. “I think you might be right,” he admitted. “But I really do think you should take it easy for a few more days. Don’t try to get too much distance.”

  “I can live with that.” Alicia pulled her leg up into a quad stretch and Mark had to look away. There was something about the woman that made him nervous, slightly off-kilter. “Are you finishing or starting?”

  “Starting what?”

  She laughed. It was soft and almost musical, like wind chimes. “Starting your run?”

  “Oh, no.” He looked behind him as if the pathway he’d arrived on held the answers. “I’m kind of halfway through, I guess.” It was a lie. He was almost done with his planned run. He’d only intended to go for a short one so he could get home and cook waffles with Christy. She’d just woken up when he’d left, but they always cooked brunch together on Saturdays. He didn’t want to miss it. “What’s your route?”

  Was he really asking to run with her? He hadn’t said the words outright, but it sure sounded that way.

  “I mean, I’m not…”

  “You’re not what?” She put her hands on her hips and grinned. “Asking to run with me?”

  Mark was about to admit that he was in fact looking to join her, when she spoke up again. “If it will make you feel better about me running on my ankle, okay.”

  “Okay?”

  She stretched her arm across her chest. “Please join me. After all, I wouldn’t want to get hurt again, Doc.” She took off down the path in a gentle jog.

  Mark watched her for a second before shaking his head. He pushed down the objections he should have been telling himself about how he should be home with his wife and not running—literally—after another woman, and sprinted to catch up with her.

  They ran in silence for a few kilometers. The quiet gave Mark a chance to think about what he was doing. Was running with another woman wrong? More importantly, would Christy think it was wrong?

  Christy didn’t run; she never had. In fact, she mostly blew off any type of exercise at all. She’d never cared before when he ran with Aaron; why would she care now?

  That was different.

  The only thing that made it different was that Alicia was a woman.

  And that was a big difference. But it wasn’t the only one. And he knew it.

  He didn’t want to be, but Mark couldn’t help it. He was attracted to Alicia.

  Not that he would ever act on it. Attraction was one thing. Love was a different one. And he loved Christy. More than life itself. She was his entire world and he would never do anything to hurt her.

  And maybe that was why it felt so wrong and at the same time so good to be running next to Alicia. This woman didn’t know him. Didn’t know his failures or his disappointments. He hadn’t let her down. It was fresh and easy.

  “Are you usually so quiet when you run with someone?” Alicia’s voice burst into his thoughts, a welcome distraction because he was only going around and around with trying to decide on what his level of guilt should be in regards to the woman next to him.

  “No.” He laughed. “But I only ever usually run with my buddy Aaron. What about you?”

  “I don’t usually run with anyone at all.”

  “Really?” He couldn’t stop himself from adding the next question. “What about your husband?”

  She laughed so hard, her pace slowed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Was that your way of asking if I was single?”

  Her question hit him hard and he came to a sudden and complete stop. He froze to the spot; his mouth fell open and he stared unseeing in front of him.

  It took Alicia a moment to
realize he wasn’t right next to her before she stopped and turned around. “I’m sorry.” She made her way back to him. “I wasn’t trying to—”

  “No.” He held up a hand. “I’m the one who should be sorry.” He dropped his head and shook it back and forth for a moment. He was being an idiot. The moment Alicia thought he might be hitting on her, everything had felt a little too real. How could he even be out here, entertaining the slightest thought about this woman instead of his wife? What did he think he was doing? Yes, it was innocent. But at the same time, it wasn’t. Not at all. And if he didn’t put an immediate stop to it, it really would be wrong.

  “I didn’t mean anything by the question,” he said. “I mean, if I did, I shouldn’t have. Really. I was just making conversation, and—”

  “Hey.” Alicia put her hand on his arm and he jumped back. “Sorry, Mark.” She tucked her hands behind her back. “I didn’t mean anything. I just thought maybe you were flirting and—”

  “Flirting!” His face fired up with embarrassment. Was that what he was doing? The idea that he was flirting with anyone was laughable. He’d never been a flirty guy. Even with Christy, they used to joke about how little game he had and how if she hadn’t made the first move when they were teenagers that they’d probably still be eyeing each other across the room instead of being actually married.

  Married.

  “I’m married.” He said the word as if it were a shield that would protect him from any thought of flirting.

  “That’s great.” Alicia’s smile was genuine. “I really didn’t mean anything by the comment. If you still want a running partner…or does your wife run?”

  “No.” He shook his head. The flush was starting to fade as if just by mentioning his wife to this other woman, he was suddenly absolved of any thoughts he may have had that might be considered inappropriate in even the remotest way. “She’s not a runner at all.”

  “And would she mind if you had a running partner? I mean…another one?”

  “No.” Mark shook his head, suddenly feeling foolish with the entire conversation. “She wouldn’t. She’s always been really supportive of my goals and I know she’s not super excited that I signed up for another ultra, but she’s still supportive of what it takes for me to get there.” He gestured lamely between them. “Including running partners.”

  Alicia nodded and narrowed her eyes to give him a look that said she wasn’t totally convinced. “Okay,” she said after a moment. “So…should we keep running?”

  Mark thought about it for a moment. He had been enjoying the pace they’d set and despite the awkwardness there’d been, it was a good run and he did like her company. Now that the awkwardness had been sorted out and he didn’t need to feel guilty… “Yes. Let’s keep running.”

  Chapter Six

  Christy had given a lot of thought to what Drew said about appreciating what you had because you never knew what life could throw at you. In fact, after they finished their lattes and had gone their separate ways, Christy went straight home. With a plan.

  She had no idea how long Mark would be out running. The last time he trained for an ultra-marathon, his training sessions escalated until finally he was out all day, trail running in the middle of the woods. But he’d just started, so surely he wouldn’t be gone longer than a few hours.

  That’s what she was betting on.

  There’d been a time, not that long ago, when Christy spent almost all of her free time on her home. She’d taken a certain level of pride in decorating each room just right, making the bed with crisp sheets and all the throw pillows placed in the perfect positions. She spent a great deal of time picking out the perfect essential oil combinations to diffuse in each room to suit the mood or the weather, or any emotional ailment she or Mark might have. Her home was her career and she excelled at it.

  Things had changed after the big high school reunion earlier that spring. She couldn’t quite pinpoint when the tipping point happened, but one day she woke up and just stopped caring as much. If she was being really honest with herself, she knew exactly when it was. During the last IVF cycle, she’d been worn out. Somehow, she just knew it wasn’t going to work and the effort was pointless.

  And if she didn’t have a family to fill her beautiful home then…what was the point?

  But all of that was about to change.

  The moment Christy walked in the door, she took a moment to walk around and open all the windows she could to get the fresh air circulating. She opened curtains that had been closed and let the bright sunlight shine in.

  In the kitchen, she tied her favorite apron around her new blouse and set to work, whipping up a batch of Mark’s favorite granola bars that he’d enjoyed the last time he trained for a major race. When they were in the oven, she turned her attentions to the bedroom, where she stripped the sheets and made the bed with a fresh set. She turned her diffuser on with a combination of essential oils that were known to be seductive and then she changed into a silk negligee she had hiding in the back of her lingerie drawer. It was one of the only pieces she had that still fit after her weight gain. It was a little snug in the chest, but it fit pretty well, and with any luck, she wouldn’t be wearing it long once Mark got home.

  It was only mid-afternoon, and probably too early for wine, but this was a special occasion, so Christy popped a bottle of white in the fridge to chill and set two glasses out.

  The granola bars out of the oven and finished with her preparations, Christy didn’t know what to do with herself while she waited. She’d toyed with the idea of leaving him a note to come to the bedroom and find her, but she had no idea when he’d be back, so she discarded the idea in case she fell asleep. That wouldn’t be very sexy. And she was definitely going for sexy.

  How long had it been since they’d made love?

  If she pulled out her calendar, she’d know exactly the last time they had sex. Because despite the fact that they’d been trying IVF, they still secretly hoped it would happen naturally and therefore Christy kept a strict calendar of her ovulation dates and ideal days for conception. It was probably the least romantic thing she’d done.

  And quite possibly, it had been one of the hardest things on their relationship.

  But that had been sex for the sole purpose of conceiving. This was different.

  Very different. Because she was going to seduce her husband and—

  Christy’s thoughts trailed away as she heard the familiar click of the doorknob, followed by Mark’s footsteps. She leaned against the doorjamb, with one arm on her hip and the other up the wall in a way she hoped was more seductive than it felt because it felt completely ridiculous. When Mark walked down the hall, he was looking at the sports watch he wore that recorded all of his statistics during his run. He was so intent on pushing buttons and deciphering whatever data his watch had recorded he didn’t look up until he was almost directly in front of her.

  “Christy! Hi. I…well, hello.” His demeanor and voice changed the moment he realized what she was wearing and why she was standing there. “This is a surprise.” He dropped his arm, the watch and its data forgotten.

  “Isn’t it ever.” She hoped her voice sounded seductive and not silly. “And that’s not all…come with me.” She crooked her finger and turned, hoping he would follow. A moment too late, she realized she should have kissed him. She’d fix that right away, Christy decided. First, the wine.

  “I know we missed brunch, but I thought maybe we could spend the afternoon…”

  “Watching cartoons?”

  It was a joke. She knew it was, but still the words stung considering what she was wearing, and that watching television was definitely not on her mind. She flinched inwardly but was determined to brush it off.

  “No,” she said sweetly as she opened the fridge and grabbed the wine. “I thought we could spend our afternoon together. In bed.”

  For whatever reason, she was embarrassed to look at him while she made the suggestion, which was silly becau
se they were never embarrassed around each other. But it had been so long. Too long since they’d been together just because they wanted to be. It felt…different somehow.

  “Come on.” She picked up the glasses and led the way to the bedroom. Before she could chicken out, she put the glasses down on the nightstand and spun around into her husband’s arms.

  Christy pressed her lips to his and instead of the chaste kiss routine they’d fallen into in recent months, she deepened it and slipped her tongue into his mouth. It took him a few seconds to catch up but once he did, he kissed her back and Christy sank into the familiar taste of him.

  His arms slipped around her and her skin tingled with his touch.

  How long had it been since he’d touched her like this? Too long. Way too long.

  “Hmmm…this is nice.” Mark pulled back enough to look in her eyes.

  “It is, isn’t it?”

  He nodded and smiled. “But I’m all sweaty, Christy. I need a shower.”

  “A shower?” Her heart sunk. “Now?”

  He nodded again and released her from his embrace. “It was a great run and I’m really sweaty.”

  She was determined not to let it get her down. “It’s okay.” She stepped forward and ran a hand down his arm. “I like you sweaty. Besides, we’re just going to work up a sweat together anyway.”

  She blushed with her choice of words, but she’d come this far—she wasn’t going to back down now.

  Mark turned and gave her a strange look. “Seriously, Christy. It’ll just take a minute.”

  He couldn’t leave. She had a whole plan and if he left, it wouldn’t be the same. “Why don’t we have a glass of wine and—”

  “I’m in training, Christy.” He turned toward their ensuite bathroom and pulled his running shirt over his head without looking at her. “I’m not drinking right now.”

  She wanted to cry, or scream, or… She shook her head and grabbed the bottle of wine as Mark disappeared into the bathroom.

  “I’ll be right back, honey,” he called. “I really like the way you surprised me.”