When We Were Us: A Dark Mafia Romance (Alpha Boyfriends Book 3)

by J. S. Cooper

  “We didn’t get her the first time, but this time she’s dead.” The writing was done with a bright red marker and there was a stack of five different photos. All of Anabel. All with an X on her face. And there was one other similarity in the photos that disturbed me more than the others. In each of the photos, carefully hidden in the background was an image of me, watching her from afar. She hadn’t known I was there, but someone else had known. The watcher was being watched and I didn’t like it. No one was supposed to know I was still following her.

  “Who delivered the envelope?”

  “I don’t know.” He shook his head, his lips thinned. “Maria said she found it on the countertop in the kitchen.”

  “So whoever left it was in the house?” I slammed my hand down on the table. “We have a problem, Giorgio. We have a real problem. We either have a rat or someone has successfully infiltrated the house.” I looked past his head, my mind racing. “Fuck.”

  “What are we going to do, Luca?” he asked, waiting for my lead.

  “We’re going to protect Anabel and then we’re going to find the fuckers that dared to threaten her. And I’m going to kill them in as many painful and excruciating ways as possible.”

  “Luca, we don’t wanna get involved with this. We already got too many problems.”

  “Listen to me, Giorgio.” I gripped the magazine of my gun. “I have something you need to do. I have an idea and you’re going to have to carry out what I tell you exactly as I say.”

  Chapter 4

  Anabel

  “You’ve Got a Friend in Me,” blasted out from my phone as it rang. I grinned as I stared at the screen and saw that my best friend Charlotte was calling.

  “Did you change my ringtone?” I picked up the phone and questioned her.

  “Why would you think that?” she asked innocently, far too innocently for someone who actually had no idea as to what I was talking about.

  “Because I’ve never heard that ringtone from my phone before.”

  “I only changed it for me and Emily,” Charlotte admitted with a giggle. “I thought it would make you smile.”

  “It did,” I agreed. “How’s it going?”

  “Emily is on her way over and I was wondering if you were nearly here. You didn’t respond to our last group chat and I wanted to make sure you didn’t forget...” Her voice trailed off as she lied. We both knew that she didn’t think I’d forget. She did think that I wouldn’t show up though.

  “I don’t know if I have time.” I bit down on my lower lip as I also lied, but I just didn’t feel like I could be around my two best friends right now. I loved them both and had since our freshman year in college at Columbia University, but life had changed since then. I’d gone into college a broken and wounded bird and they had patched me up without even knowing it. They had masked my anxiety and insecurity with their friendship, but now that I’d recently seen my first and only love, I didn’t know what to do. The fact that Charlotte and Emily hadn’t even known about him until a week ago also made me feel guilty. I knew they wanted to know more about my relationship with Luca, but I didn’t want to tell them everything. I had so many secrets that sometimes I worried that they wouldn’t know who I was if I let them in on them. I was also scared that they would judge me and abandon me. The last week of my life had felt overwhelming to me. I’d felt like I was struggling underwater with the weight of the world on my shoulders. The knowledge of my past in my head and the fear of the future weighed in my stomach and made me feel like I was close to drowning. I was scared and fragile and I didn’t even know how to explain the complexity of emotions running through me. How could I tell my two best friends that the woman they knew was a lie?

  “Anabel Forbes, get your ass over here now.” Charlotte’s tone changed as she spoke into the phone with barely concealed annoyance. “Emily is on the way, I’ve ordered a pizza and if you don’t come over here, we will come to you. And we’ll bring Max and Matteo and I know you don’t want them all up in your business.” Max was Charlotte’s fiancé and Matteo was Emily’s boyfriend. Both of their relationships were fairly new and while I liked both men, Max, more than Matteo, I certainly didn’t want them listening to my relationship woes; especially seeing as Matteo was my ex’s uncle. Just thinking about Luca, my ex made my heart race and I closed my eyes to try and calm down.

  “Fine, I’ll come over.” I looked at my watch and withheld a sigh. I stared at the stack of legal files on my desk and closed the top file. I had a trial coming up in a month, but I knew that tonight was not going to be the night to pull an all-nighter. I also knew that Charlotte and Emily were not going to stop asking me questions until they felt satisfied that they’d gotten the full story. However, there was no way that that was going to happen. For my sake and for theirs. That was part of the reason, I’d never told them anything in the first place. I’d wanted to protect them, but I wasn’t sure if they would understand that. How would I feel if one of my best friends in the world had withheld the most important aspects of her life away from me? I knew that I’d be devastated if I was them. I knew that they would be heartbroken to know that I hadn’t trusted them or confided in them; especially after everything we’d been through in life together.

  “You’re going to come, right?” I could hear the worry in Charlotte’s voice, which was understandable. She, Emily, and I hadn’t been together in over a week, which was unusual for us, but I hadn’t known what to say to them. Hadn’t known how to explain that I felt lost after I’d seen my ex.

  “Yes, I’ll come.” I held the phone to my ear and stood up and walked to my bookshelf and looked for my favorite book, The History of Love, by Nicole Krauss. I found it quickly and opened it to page sixty-four and started at the line, “THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE.” I sighed as I then turned over the Polaroid that was hidden between the pages. It was a photo that was taken on my eighteenth birthday. A photo of Luca and me. I was wearing a revealing red dress that he’d bought me as a gift. I looked young and happy and in love. I hadn’t known then who he was. Well, at least not fully. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if I’d known from the beginning, but it was too late to think about that now. You can’t change the past, no matter how much you try.

  “I hope you guys are in a chocolate mood.” I held up a big gold box of Godiva chocolates as I walked into the apartment that Charlotte shared with her boyfriend, Max. They lived in Midtown and had views of Central Park from almost every window. The apartment had four bedrooms, five bathrooms, and its own gym, and normally I loved spending time there. The opulence of the marble floors and crystal chandeliers was a stark contrast from my small little apartment, but today as I walked through to the living room, I didn’t feel the same awe that I usually did.

  “You know that we’re always in the mood for chocolate.” Emily smiled at me, her eyes watching me carefully. I stared right back at her, trying to make sure she was doing okay. As heavy as the last weeks had been for me, they’d been even worse for her. She’d found out that her boyfriend was peripherally involved in the mafia and her parents weren’t the good citizens she’d thought they were. “Shall we sit down?” Emily gestured to the couch where Charlotte was already sitting, holding a glass of red wine. She looked relaxed and comfy in an oversized Columbia University sweatshirt and black leggings.

  “Do you want some wine?” Charlotte stood up, placed her glass on the wooden coffee table, and walked over and gave me a hug. “You okay?” She squeezed me tightly and stood back. I nodded and walked over to the wine bottle.

  “As if I could say no to wine.” There’s nothing like not answering a question to let everyone know that you’re not okay. “Where’s my glass?”

  “Right here.” Charlotte handed me a glass out of the air and I blinked. “Magic.” She winked at me and we both laughed. Emily joined us next to the wine bottle and grabbed a glass from behind the bottle.

  “Let’s get drunk, here’s to girls’ night.” We all held our glasses in th
e air as Charlotte poured generous amounts of cabernet sauvignon into our goblets. I took a sip of the wine and let the warm, smooth liquid run down my throat. I could feel myself relaxing. It was a temporary feeling that lasted for all of ten seconds. Funny how certain emotions refuse to stay hidden. When you’re happy anything can upset the balance of happiness, toppling you into despair and destruction without a concern, but when those emotions are on the flip side and you’re depressed and something good happens, that despair sticks with you, like a lichen on an old tree branch and the happiness you feel is fleeting.

  “What are you thinking about Anabel?” Emily’s eyes sought mine and I could tell from the tone in her voice that she was worried and concerned. “Charlotte and I have been so worried for you since we came back from Miami. Why didn’t you ever tell us about Luca?”

  “I thought we were going to call him, he who should not be named.” I offered them a wry smile and ignored the jolt of pain that ignited in me at the sound of his name.

  “Anabel,” Emily said my name and as I looked into her eyes, I realized that I saw my own pain reflected in her irises. Only it wasn’t Luca that had hurt her, it was me.

  “I’m sorry, guys.” I could feel my shoulders crumbling in on me as despair filled me. “I know I should have told you about him. Don’t think that it was because I didn’t want to. Don’t think it was because you guys aren’t the best friends I’ve ever had in the world.” I chewed on my bottom lip and tried to settle my thoughts before continuing. “I just didn’t want you guys to judge me or think I was a bad person. I didn’t want to lose your friendship.”

  “Anabel, there is nothing you could have ever done that would make us leave you. Nothing.” Charlotte gripped my hands while Emily nodded in agreement.

  “We’re your family, Anabel,” Emily said softly. “You two girls mean more to me than anything.” Her eyes softened and she smiled at me sweetly. “We are ride or die, girl. This friendship is everything. I love you both so much. And I will always be here.”

  “You guys are going to make me cry.” I licked my dry lips. “You know how much you both mean to me.” I grabbed my wine glass and took two long gulps of the deep red liquid. “Also, I didn’t want to harm you, girls. I didn’t want to put you in any danger.”

  “Danger?” Charlotte’s eyebrows rose and twisted in that mad scientist way that they always did when she was perplexed. “Why would you be putting us in danger?”

  “You know that Luca’s in the mafia and well, let’s just say he wasn’t one of the good guys in a group of bad people.”

  “What are you saying, Anabel?” Emily’s voice was sharp as she questioned me. “Did he hurt you?”

  “No.” I shook my head quickly, knowing that if I said yes, Emily and Charlotte would immediately find the number to a hitman and have him offed. “Well, not physically. Mentally and emotionally yes.” I looked down then thinking about how much I’d loved him and how heartbroken I’d felt when we’d broken up and then my mind pictured him from the last week. He was older now, as was I, and he was even more handsome than I’d remembered him. He was a man now. A dark, deadly man. Before he’d been a boy, a young man growing into his destiny. Now he was his destiny and as much as I hated him, I couldn’t help but think that my attraction to him was stronger than it had ever been before.

  “Will you tell us about him?” Emily asked hopefully. “Will you tell us about your relationship?”

  “I suppose I can.” I sat back and closed my eyes, thinking about the beginning and how it had all started. I would tell them the story, but I wouldn’t tell them the biggest secret of all. I couldn’t. And I wouldn’t. No one but me knew and I would take it to my grave. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust them. It was that I never wanted to think about that time in my life again.

  Chapter 5

  Luca

  My watch was fifteen minutes fast. It had been since I was twelve when my grandad told me that in our world, we must always be in front of time if we wanted to stay ahead. And so, for me, three p.m. was two forty-five p.m. and my days always started before everyone else’s. That meant I was always everywhere before everyone else. It meant that I always had the upper hand. Even if the other person was on time. There’s something about arriving second to a meeting that makes someone feel uneasy, like they’re already on the wrong foot. And in my life, there was nothing I valued more than being in control.

  They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but I don’t agree. I loved once in my life and I lost her, and now my heart is broken, and jaded, and bitter. When I saw Anabel again for the first time in years, something in me wanted to get my revenge. I’m not a particularly mean man, but when I saw her I knew that I had to have her again and I had to make her pay for leaving me.

  In my world, there are two types of people that are off-limits: kids and women. You don’t mess with them when you’re in the mafia, it was an unspoken rule. You could do whatever you wanted to their fathers, to their grandfathers, to their husbands or to their brothers. But you left the women alone, you could die if you hurt a woman or a child.

  But the mafia didn’t care so much about women who weren’t a part of our family. And Anabel wasn’t a part of the family. Not that I was going to hurt Anabel. I wasn’t going to harm her, I was just going to take what was mine. I was just going to make her pay back her debt to me. I had never forgotten what she did to me years ago. And I never would. She had broken my heart. And I was going to make her wish that hers had been cut out of her body.

  She thought she had banished me from her life, but I’d just been biding my time. Now I was ready to exact my revenge. I was going to bring her back into my life. Only, this time she won’t be able to hurt me like she did before. I’m going to play a little game with her. A game that I think is only fair. A game that she will never win. It’s a game I’ve been wanting to start for a very long time.

  “Hey, Giorgio.”

  “Yes, Luca?”

  “Have you done what I asked you to do?”

  “You asked me to do millions of things, which one of them are you talking about?”

  He walked over to me, a frown on his face.

  “You know what I’m talking about, Giorgio.”

  “Luca, I don’t know.”

  I glared at him and tapped my gun and he sighed.

  “Fine, I know. And no, it’s not done.”

  “Giorgio, you disappoint me. I told you I needed it done first thing.”

  “Luca, you disappoint me. No woman should interfere in our operation.”

  “Who do you think you’re talking to, Giorgio?” I looked him square in the eye. “I’m the boss here.” His pudgy little face twisted, but he kept his mouth shut. That was one thing about Giorgio, he was very opinionated. I’d underestimated him when we were younger. He was fat, he was slovenly, but he was intuitive. He knew exactly what was going on with everyone around him. He could see what was happening emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. If he wasn’t my best friend and my most loyal soldier, I would have killed him a long time ago. But he was like family to me. So even though he said and did things I didn’t like, I let him get away with it. However, he knew, as did all my other men, that he was the only one that could get away with speaking back to me. And he knew he couldn’t push it too much because if he did, there was no telling what I would do to him.

  “Luca, I know you like the girl. You liked the girl years ago, but she’s bad news. She’s bad news for you, she’s bad news for me, she’s bad news for our whole operation. You just gotta let her go.”

  “There’s nothing to let go, Giorgio. She’s not mine anymore.”

  “Yeah. You know that and I know that. But I got a feeling that you want to make her yours again.”

  “Why would you think that, Giorgio?” My voice was cold as steel.

  “Luca, you forget I was with you when you saw her for the first time.”

  “Yes, and?”

  �
�I was with you and you changed. Your world became about her and not the business.”

  “My world is always the business.”

  “I beg to differ. Your world became her, she was number one. And she can’t be number one, ain’t no woman can be number one in the mafia world. You know that, Luca.”

  “I know that, Giorgio. You don’t have to tell me that.”

  “Because if someone knows you got a number one other than the business, they take that number one and then they blackmail you. And then they get you to do things that you ain’t got no business doing, Luca.”

  “I would never do anything to jeopardize the family, Giorgio. You know that.”

  “You say that and I know you think that. But I don’t know that if you’re with her again, it will stay the same.” He let out a deep sigh. “I’m just saying, Luca. She’s no good for you, let her go. You’ve already got someone else that you should be engaged to anyway. Why are you going to blow everything up?”

  “I’m not blowing anything up, Giorgio. This is my life, my business, I know what I’m doing.”

  “I don’t think you do know what you’re doing, Luca. Just for a piece of pussy. Was the pussy that good, really? Come on now, how are you going to do this to me? How am I meant to look the guys in the eye and tell them the boss is not crazy?” He was mumbling. “You can’t be pussy-whipped, Luca.”

  “Are people saying I’m crazy? Who’s saying I’m crazy? Who I got to talk to? Who do I have to take care of?” I would make an example of anyone that had been talking smack about me.

  “Nobody’s saying you’re crazy, Luca. And they sure as hell wouldn’t say it to me. They know they’d have my gun in their faces in five seconds if they said anything like that to me. But Luca, there are whispers, there are always whispers. And once the whispers start, they get louder and louder, and then we can’t control anything.”