When We Were Us: A Dark Mafia Romance (Alpha Boyfriends Book 3)

by J. S. Cooper

  “So what am I supposed to do?” Giorgio said softly. “I’ve dedicated my life to you, Luca, and now?”

  “I don’t know what to tell you, Giorgio.” Luca shrugged. “I should kill you for betraying me.” He squeezed it, but didn’t pull the trigger again and I gasped. He looked up at me and I shook my head slightly.

  “Please, no,” I whispered.

  Chapter 27

  Luca

  Giorgio and Enzo were lovers. My brain couldn’t process it. Even as Giorgio sat there in the seat right next to me, I couldn’t process it. He was gay? Since when? How had I not seen the signs? I, the man that stood for hours in the subway, observing people, looking at people in the street, making judgment calls, knowing exactly what they were thinking and feeling. I didn’t know that my own best friend, that my own underboss was gay and in love with me?

  “Luca.” Anabel touched my arm softly. “I know you’re processing this and it’s a lot. But think about him as a person. Think about him as your friend.”

  Her eyes were pleading with me. She wanted me to be nice to Giorgio. She was scared I’d kill him. She was trying to protect him even though it was because of him that she’d been kidnapped. She wanted me to be nice to this fat motherfucker, who had put all of our lives in danger, because why? Because he loved me. He fucking loved me? It just wasn’t possible. And then I looked over at him. At his beady little eyes, his familiar face, the sadness. I recognized it. I recognized the sadness on his face from when Anabel had left me. That’s the way I’d looked when I’ve looked in the mirror at myself, heartbroken and dejected.

  And I hated that for him. I hated that for him because I knew how it felt to lose the one that you loved. And I had Anabel now. She loved me and we could make up the past. We could get over it, but Giorgio didn’t have me and he would never have me. I didn’t love him like that. I didn’t want him like that. And I would never want him like that. I knew that Anabel wanted me to have compassion. If I was going to be a better man, I had to have compassion. And I had to think about others. That was what I’d learned through this whole experience. It wasn’t just about me. It wasn’t just about me protecting the woman that I loved. There were other people that were involved in this. There are other people that I could hurt.

  “Hey, Giorgio.” I made a decision.

  “Yeah, boss?” he said softly, not looking me in the eyes. His fingers were twitching.

  “I’m sorry, you know?” My voice broke. This conversation was harder than I’d thought it would be.

  “Sorry for what?” He still sounded dejected.

  “I’m sorry it has come to this. I’m not sorry that I don’t love you in that way. Because I’m not into men, but I’m sorry that I wasn’t a better friend. I’m sorry I wasn’t a better boss. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you like an equal. Okay?”

  And then he looked me in the eyes, an understanding there, a gratitude. I didn’t expect it. And I didn’t expect to feel my heart breaking for him in the way that it did.

  “You know, I don’t judge you, Giorgio. Right? I don’t care if you prefer men, or if you prefer women, whatever. That’s on you. But you put me in harm’s way. You put my girl in harm’s way. You can’t do that.”

  “I know. I know, Luca. I fucked-up. I fucked-up bad. I just didn’t want things to change, you know? It was you and me, always. I didn’t expect you to want to be with me like that.” He blushed and looked down. “I just thought, we could be partners forever. We didn’t need no hoes.”

  I let out a deep sigh. “So why were we talking about Valentina Marchese then? Why were you saying she was so hot?”

  “I guess I was just saying it to make you think I was machismo as well. You know? I guess I was just saying it to make you think I was normal.”

  “Oh fuck, Giorgio.” I walked over to him and I put my arm around his shoulder. “Look at me, you hear? There ain’t nothing wrong with being a homosexual. You like who you like and hey, you got good taste if you like me.”

  He laughed lightly. And I was happy to hear the sound. “I don’t hate you for who you are, Giorgio. I hate you because you put me in harm’s way. I hate you because you betrayed me.” I sighed. “You know what? I don’t even hate you, Giorgio. I’m disappointed in you. We were family, man.”

  “I know, Luca. I fucked-up. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get you hurt. I didn’t mean for you to be upset. I’m sorry.”

  “I know, but you know, you can’t stay here. You can’t be in my life anymore.”

  “But where am I supposed to go, Luca? I’ve got nothing. I got no one.”

  “I don’t know. I can give you some money to figure out where you want to go, but you can’t stay here.”

  He nodded his understanding. “I always wanted to go to LA. I figured maybe I could get a job in the movies, not as a Brad Pitt or anything, but a henchman in some of those gangster movies. How ironic would that be? Huh? A real underboss playing an underboss in Hollywood.”

  “I think that’d be great, Giorgio. And if that’s what you really want to do, you should do it. LA would be lucky to meet someone like you.”

  “Yeah, but what’s a fat fuck like me really doing, going to LA? No one’s going to want me.”

  “Hey, don’t talk like that.” Anabel suddenly came across the room, “Giorgio, I know you don’t like me. And I know you resent and hate me. You most probably hate me now more than anyone else in the world, but you know what? You have to have confidence in yourself. You have to believe you can do whatever you want to do. And yeah, it didn’t work out with you and Luca, but you know Luca’s not gay, right? You know that. He would never have wanted you like that. Luca was made for me, Giorgio. He was made for me and I love him. And I’m going to take care of him. So you don’t have to worry about him.”

  “I know.” He looked at her, admiration in his eyes. “You’re lucky because he loves you too.”

  “I am lucky. And I’m sorry that he didn’t love you, Giorgio, but you cannot betray your friends. You don’t do that to your friends. You don’t do that to your family.”

  “I know. I fucked-up. I already said that.”

  “It doesn’t matter that you fucked-up in the past. Okay? You’re being given a second chance. Go to LA, live your dreams, do what you want to do, you can make it in the movies. You need to stop being down on yourself. You need to stop being depressed. You need to stop thinking you can’t do what you want to do. Live your life! There’s one life. If there’s anything I’ve learned within the last forty-eight hours, we have one life and we have to live it now. No matter what it means. No matter how many risks you have to take. I’m glad this happened, Giorgio. You know why I’m glad? I’m glad because you’re able to live your truth now. Go and love who you want to love. Be who you want to be and be happy. And please, leave me and Luca alone. Please, I beg of you. I love this man more than life itself. And if anything were to happen to him.” She started crying.

  “Anabel, it’s okay.” I hated to see the tears running down her face. “I’m okay, Anabel, we’re okay.” I sighed. “I’m going to leave now, Giorgio, because there are many more things I have to say to you and many things that aren’t nice. And when I see my girl crying like this, I want to hit you. And I want to hurt you as badly as you’ve hurt her. And as badly as you hurt me, but I’m not going to do it because I know there are extenuating circumstances here. And I know those extenuating circumstances, they made you do things that you might not ordinarily have done. And I understand that because I know what it’s like to be in love. Okay? But we’re done, Giorgio. You gotta get out of here. You’re lucky I don’t shoot you right now.” I pointed my gun at him and stopped myself. I was feeling emotional and I was getting angry again. “I’m going to give Matteo a check. He’s going to give it to you and you need to leave. We got to go before I do something I regret.” I held Anabel to me. “Are you ready, my love?”

  “Where are we going to go, Luca? I don’t know where we will feel safe.”

>   “I have a place. Don’t worry.” I looked over at Matteo and Matteo nodded at me. He held Charlotte to his side and then he frowned. “I need to go and get Emily. Luca, before you go, can you take care of Charlotte please?”

  “Sure. Actually, Charlotte, you can come with us. Okay?”

  “Okay, Luca. Sure.” She looked nervous and I knew that there was going to be hell to pay when her fiancé, Max, came back. He was not going to be happy that she’d been brought into all of this.

  “Giorgio, come with me,” Matteo called him. “You’re going to come with me. Okay? I’m going to get you in a taxi and you’re going to leave.”

  “I have to still get him the check, Matteo. I don’t have anything on me,” I called out to him.

  “It’s okay. I got this. You can get me back.” Matteo pulled out his wallet. “I don’t want to leave him in the house alone. You hear me?”

  “I understand.” Matteo and Giorgio walked out of the room and out of the house. I put my gun back in my holster and took a couple of deep breaths. Charlotte and Anabel started crying uncontrollably. They were hugging each other and crying, and I could feel my heart aching for what they’d gone through. Women weren’t meant to see this side of our world. Women were not meant to experience this.

  “I’m sorry, girls. I’m really sorry that I brought you all into this.”

  “It’s okay.” Anabel looked at me and smiled the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen in my life. “It’s okay because it brought you back to me. And even though this wouldn’t have been how I would want it to have happened, I’m glad it happened because we’re back in each other’s lives. And we both understand where the other one was coming from, but no more secrets. Okay, Luca? And no more mafia. I know you guys sent Enzo away and you’re sending Giorgio away, but I want you to leave this place as well. I need you to leave this place. I’ll come with you, but we need a new beginning, a fresh start.”

  “I know, Anabel. I’m going to go straight. I want to go straight for...”

  “Don’t say for me,” she said. “I don’t want you to do anything else for me. I can’t be the reason why...”

  “No, Anabel, it’s for me, I’m going straight for me. All these years I’ve been thinking to myself, ‘Why didn’t Anabel see that I’m a good guy inside? Everything I do is for the right reasons.’ And it suddenly occurred to me. You can’t be a good guy and an evil guy. You can’t be a good guy on the inside and an evil guy on the outside. If I’m going to be a good guy, I have to be a good guy in every part of my life. I gotta get out of the drug trade. I can’t murder people anymore. I can’t manipulate. I can’t watch people in the street. Those days are over. And it turns out I wasn’t as good as I thought. I didn’t even see what was right under my own nose. I’m done. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but I’m ready for it to be done. I will never put you at risk again.”

  I walked over and touched her stomach. “And one day when we have kids, we’ll tell them the truth about where I came from. But only as a narrative of what not to do with their lives. I don’t want them involved in anything like this. I don’t want them anywhere near the mafia.”

  “And who knows?” Anabel said softly, “Maybe we’ll have a little surprise in nine months.”

  “Maybe.” I kissed her on the neck. “That would be amazing.”

  Chapter 28

  Anabel

  Two Weeks Later

  I could hear the palm trees swaying in the breeze outside the window and I crawled out of bed quietly so that I could go and stand on the balcony. I slipped outside onto the balcony and was awed once again by the beautiful beach in front of our cabana. White endless sand, blue aquamarine sea, tall palm trees were swaying in the wind and I could see coconuts all the way at the top. Just yesterday I’d seen a local boy climbing one of the trees, grabbing two coconuts and throwing them down to his friend before he shimmied back down the tree. It amazed me how he’d been able to climb so high just by gripping his legs. I watched the ocean as the waves ebbed and flowed, and I thought about how nice it was to be here in this Caribbean paradise. I’d never been to Antigua before, but it was even more beautiful than I could have imagined.

  “Hey, ‘morning.” Luca slipped up behind me, his hands grazing my neck, playing with my hair.

  “‘Morning, Luca.” I turned to him with a lazy smile. He looked so handsome, his eyes barely awake as he peered at me, naked.

  “You okay, Anabel?”

  “I’m fine. Did I wake you up?” I leaned over, kissed him on the lips.

  “No, I was hoping you’d wake up soon.” He grinned at me.

  “Oh yeah? Why was that?” I looked down at his erect cock.

  “I think you know why.” He laughed and I touched his bare chest.

  “But Luca, aren’t you tired?”

  “I could never be tired of you, Anabel. You know that.”

  “I know. So we should hear from Matteo today, huh?” I asked him quietly, not really wanting to bring up what was going on in New York, but knowing that we had to. We couldn’t stay here in Antigua forever, no matter how much we loved it. Our friends and family were back in the States, and Luca was going to start a new business. He was going to start his own security company with some of the money that he’d made when he’d been the head of the mafia. I’d convinced him to donate most of it to charities. I didn’t want to live off the back of drug trafficking and he’d agreed, surprisingly. He’d kept a small inheritance that he’d received from his grandfather and was going to use that to start the company. That made me happy. I still had my job as an attorney, even though I wasn’t sure what my law firm was going to say when I came back.

  My parents, well, I hadn’t spoken to them since everything had happened. I wasn’t quite sure how I’d be able to look my dad in the eyes, knowing what I knew and my poor mother, I don’t think she had a clue and I didn’t really want to be the one to break her heart.

  “Hey Anabel, what are you thinking?” Luca kissed me on the forehead. “You don’t look like you’re thinking about how badly you want to fuck me right now.”

  “Sorry.” I laughed. I ran my fingers across his nipples. “I wasn’t thinking that, no, but you know how badly I want to fuck you whenever you’re willing.”

  “Oh, Anabel, those words are music to my ears.” He kissed me again, softly, passionately, seductively. “Come, my love, come.” He grabbed my hand and he pulled me back to the bedroom. I got down onto the bed and then he got on beside me, pushed my shoulders back, and leaned down and kissed me again.

  “I know you’re missing your friends and I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. It’s great being here. It’s peaceful. It's calm. I needed a break. I'm just glad that Emily and Charlotte are okay. Though Max is so angry, Charlotte said that he told her that she can’t see us anymore.”

  “Oh no.” Luca frowned. “So you can’t see her?”

  “Well, Charlotte said that he can’t tell her who she can and can’t be friends with.”

  “Oh, she sounds like she’s your friend all right.” Luca laughed and then kissed me again on the lips, his hand sliding up my flimsy nightgown to graze my breasts.

  “Yeah. I think it’s going to take a long time for him to accept that we’re friends and he most probably won’t leave us alone with her. But I guess he’ll come round. I hope,” I said softly and then moaned as his fingers pinched my nipples.

  “Oh, Luca.”

  “Yes, Anabel my dear?”

  “Don’t stop doing what you’re doing, please.”

  “Oh, I’ll never stop.” He laughed and then pulled my nightgown all the way off. “Do you know what, Anabel?”

  “No, what Luca?”

  “This will be the twenty-first time we’ve had sex since we’ve made it to Antigua.”

  “Oh my god, you’ve been counting?” I laughed.

  “Of course I’ve been counting. Haven’t you?”

  “No, I haven’t. Twenty-one times seems an aw
fully large amount of time for two weeks.”

  “Actually, I was thinking just the opposite,” he said, as he positioned himself over me. “I was thinking that twenty-one times isn’t nearly enough for two weeks. Not if we’re meant to be doing it like rabbits.”

  “Well, we’re not meant to be doing it like rabbits.” I giggled.

  “Well, you know, I figured we might as well take every opportunity to fuck now. In nine months, it might be a bit more difficult for a couple of weeks because...” He paused. “Well, you know.”

  “Yeah. I know.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “It’s crazy, huh?”

  “It’s crazy, but it’s amazing,” he said.

  “I know. It’s amazing, but just think, a month ago we weren’t even talking and now I’m pregnant with your baby.”

  “I know. Isn’t life great?” he said as he kissed me hard and then I felt him positioning his cock between my legs.

  “I think it was meant to be, Anabel,” he said, as he thrust into me and I gasped.

  “Oh my god, Luca, you feel so good.”

  “Keep talking to me like that, Anabel. I love it when you tell me how much you like it.”

  “Oh yeah.” He thrust into me deeper and harder, his chest rubbing against my breasts, and I groaned at the enormous feel of him inside of me.

  “Luca,” I moaned as he fucked me slowly and softly. “I know you said you always wanted me to feel that we were making love, but I want you to fuck me hard now. I want you to do whatever you want to do to me. I want to feel you deep inside of me, deeper than I’ve ever felt you before. Please, Luca.”

  He growled at my words and then he pulled out of me, flipped me over onto my stomach and then held my legs up high.

  “What are you doing?” I laughed, shocked and completely unprepared for what he was going to do next. I felt his thumb rubbing gently against my asshole. “No, Luca, I don’t mean that. At least not now.”

  “Oh, okay then.” He laughed too and then pulled me toward the edge of the bed. Stuck my ass up in the air and then thrust into me again. “How do you like this, Anabel?”