Wreck & Ruin

by Emma Slate

  Colt wanted me to choose him and he wanted me to do it without being swayed by him. So he’d stayed away, pulled back from spending time with me because even though I wasn’t committed, Colt was.

  It all made sense now, what Joni and Zip had told me about him, about how fast Colt declared his intentions despite trying to fight them.

  “You have a few more classes you have to take for your college degree, right?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.

  My head was still reeling from what I’d just figured out about Colt. His change in conversation threw me for another loop. “What?”

  “Your degree. You have some classes you need to finish?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can you take any of them online?”

  I blinked. “I don’t know.”

  “Look into it,” he said.

  “Don’t tell me what to do,” I said without any real heat, and it caused Colt to give a small smile.

  “You like it when I tell you what to do. I think you like it more than you want to admit.”

  “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I asked pointedly.

  Colt was unable to hold in his laugh. He shook his head and then left. I wished I could say I enjoyed the quiet after our heated exchange, but I still felt the current of tension in the air. Tension that wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

  I had two choices: commit to being with Colt and everything that entailed, or remain his houseguest until he could get me out of Waco safely.

  There was no middle ground with him.

  I put the dirty breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and then wandered into the den where Colt had a new desktop computer set up. For the next few hours, I researched online classes offered at the local community college. I had a few lined up and ready to go, but I couldn’t pay for them until I got my new credit card.

  By mid-afternoon, I was going insane. I couldn’t do anything about my college courses and I replayed my conversations with Colt over and over in my head.

  I needed to talk to someone who might be able to offer me some insight. I scrolled through the three numbers in my phone and shot out a text message to Joni asking if she wanted to come hang out with me. Chances were she was working a shift at the hospital, but I crossed my fingers and hoped.

  “I don’t understand your brother,” I said, half way through my first margarita.

  Colt’s sister grinned and raised her almost finished cocktail. “Tell me all the things.”

  “I thought men were scared of commitment.”

  “They are.”

  “I thought bikers were unfaithful—according to my friend Shelly.”

  “Some are,” she agreed. “Except my brother isn’t wired that way. He’s never been wired that way. I mean, he’s had his interludes, of course. He is a dude. But he was never a playboy.”

  “Has he ever been serious about anyone?”

  “No.”

  “Why does he want me?” I asked in confusion. “I’m a mess. I’m trouble. I’ve got the Iron Horsemen on my back. If he was smart, he’d send me on my way and wish me well.”

  “Colt never takes the easy road. And you give him something no one else does.”

  “Lip?”

  Joni laughed. “No. He keeps himself separate, you know? He’s my older brother, he’s the president of the Blue Angels. He runs things, but he hasn’t—he doesn’t let people in. Not even those he considers family. But you, he’s different with you. I don’t know how to explain it, but you have to trust me. Colt isn’t like this with anyone.”

  “That only adds more pressure. Thanks.”

  She stared me down, swirling her margarita in her glass. The ice clinked and it was the only sound in the otherwise quiet kitchen. “It would be worth it. All the bullshit, all the ups and downs. Colt has so much inside of him, and if you choose him, the way he’s already chosen you, then he’ll never let you regret it.”

  “It’s too soon.”

  “Says who?”

  “Says—”

  “Society?” She snorted. “Over sixty percent of marriages end in divorce. And how long were those people together before they even got married?”

  “Are you a proponent for marriage or against it?” I asked in wry amusement.

  “I’m a proponent for happiness. For following your own path. For choosing someone who may not have been the person you thought you were going to wind up with.”

  I paused and then chugged the rest of my drink. “What you’re saying makes a lot of sense. I blame tequila for that.”

  She grinned, revealing the dimple in her left cheek.

  I was just drunk enough to lean over and place my finger in it. “If you and Zip have babies, there’s a good chance they’ll get that dimple.”

  She giggled and swatted my hand away and then reached for her buzzing cell phone on the kitchen table.

  “Hospital?” I asked.

  She shook her head, her sorrel brown ponytail still high on her head after her shift. Joni hadn’t gone home to change out of her puppy dog patterned scrubs before coming over. Pediatric nurse. She definitely looked the part.

  “Darcy—she’s married to Gray. Have you met Gray?” When I shook my head, she went on, “Anyway. She was wondering if she could come over and hang out.”

  “Oh, sure.”

  “She’s bringing Rachel and Allison. Two other Old Ladies,” she explained. “They’re dying to get a look at you.”

  “Why?”

  “Woman, please,” Joni said with a laugh.

  “I guess that means we should make another pitcher of margaritas.”

  Twenty minutes later, the three of them showed up. They greeted Cheese and then tromped inside, boisterous, big-haired, heavily made-up, and tattooed. They were a lively, warm bunch and filled the silent house with their laughter and jokes.

  When we were three margaritas in and everyone’s cheeks were flushed, Darcy asked, “You mean to tell me you have no tattoos? Not one?” Though she was in her forties, she had the body of a thirty-year-old.

  “Nope, no tattoos,” I said. “How many do you have?”

  “Five,” she answered.

  “Wow.”

  “They’re addictive,” Rachel added. The pretty brunette pulled up the short sleeve of her T-shirt to show me a scrawled tattoo of her man’s name, Reap.

  I reached out and touched the ink. “You don’t feel…branded?”

  “It’s not a one-way street, ya know,” Darcy said. “Gray has my name on his chest.”

  “Yep, and Reap has my name on his…” Rachel trailed off as her face went a shade of poinsettia red.

  We all laughed, but the ladies kept their attention on me.

  “I think Colt would enjoy seeing his name on your butt,” Joni said.

  “You do know that’s your brother you’re talking about right? And no man’s name is ever going on my butt,” I said lightly.

  Joni and Darcy exchanged a look. “You should tell her how you and Gray got together. She’s a bit of a non-believer.” Joni winked.

  “I’m not a non-believer,” I protested. “I just don’t understand how it’s all or nothing.”

  “That’s kind of the way of the Blue Angels,” Rachel said. “They live by different rules.”

  “Because they’re criminals?” I blurted out.

  The four women sitting in Colt’s living room all glanced at one another. Allison appeared uncomfortable, Rachel clearly was deferring to Darcy, as did Joni with an arch of her eyebrow.

  “There are things as Old Ladies that even we don’t know,” Darcy began slowly. “But what I can tell you is this; our men are strong, loyal, and fiercely protective. They provide for their families and give back to the community.”

  Darcy hadn’t answered my question outright. She neither confirmed nor denied the Blue Angels were involved in criminal activity. Maybe she wouldn’t disclose any of it unless I became one of them. Maybe she genuinely didn’t know. Though I was curious, it wasn’t enough of
a reason to dive all in.

  “I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I didn’t mean to—I don’t know. I didn’t know how to ask that question without coming out and asking it.”

  “I didn’t grow up knowing anything about bikers,” Darcy began. “Wasn’t in my sphere of knowledge, you know? I grew up sheltered. Really sheltered—and not in the good way. My friend from college took me to a party—I thought we were going to a frat thing. She surprised the hell out of me when she pulled up outside the Blue Angels clubhouse. I almost didn’t go inside, but she talked me into it. The bitch disappeared almost immediately with one of the brothers, leaving me to fend for myself.”

  She smiled in fond remembrance. “A guy came up to me and offered me a beer. It was Gray and he didn’t leave my side all night. He knew I was uncomfortable. We spent the evening hanging out in his clubhouse room talking about music and our childhoods. The next morning, my friend stumbled out of a clubhouse room and we left. I never expected to see Gray again, but the next weekend he drove to Austin to see me. Stood outside my dorm building. Took me to lunch at this diner on the side of the highway that still has the best hash browns I’ve ever tasted. By the end of that year—my junior year—I became his Old Lady. My parents shit a brick when I brought him home. They threatened to cut me off if I didn’t break up with him. I knew he was the man for me, so I told them to go ahead. Gray helped pay my final year of college so I could get my degree. He not only took care of me financially, but emotionally, too. See, my parents’ love was conditional. Be the daughter they wanted and they’d continue to pay for my life. It was no life at all, really.”

  “Everything in our world moves fast,” Rachel added. “It was the same with me and Reap. I chose to be with him after three weeks of dating.”

  The idea of committing to Colt so soon after we’d met was still a foreign concept. And no stories from the other Old Ladies would sway me about it. I hadn’t had a lot of control in my short life. Mom died when I was young. Grammie died when I was in my early twenties. I’d been too numb to live and now I was tangled up with MC business thanks to my asshole of a boss.

  I wasn’t going to settle down with some biker. The idea was ludicrous. It didn’t matter how much I liked Colt or felt like he saw a piece of me that no one else did. I would have to be crazy to choose this life…to choose danger.

  It was too intense. It was too much. Colt was too much.

  “We need more margaritas,” I muttered, jumping up from my seat, attempting to escape the eyes resting on me.

  “I’ll make them,” Allison volunteered. The bottle blonde had been quiet, but when she took the pitcher from me, she gave me a small smile. Leaning a bit closer, she whispered, “Do what’s right for you. Whatever that looks like.”

  I smiled at her in gratitude, but before Allison could leave the room, Joni stopped her.

  “We can have more margs later,” Joni said, getting up from her spot on the carpeted floor. “Colt has a kick-ass sound system. Let’s dance. Your feet okay?”

  “They don’t hurt at all.” I nodded. “Dancing sounds like fun.”

  “That’s tequila for you,” Darcy said.

  Joni turned on music and before I knew it, the five of us were bouncing around Colt’s living room, laughing like loons and enjoying the hell out of ourselves. I liked them; they were straight shooters, which I greatly appreciated. Their offers of friendship felt genuine and even though I had no idea how long I’d be stuck in Waco, it was nice that there was a group of women who were willing to accept me into their fold. Despite my blunders, despite my reservations, despite the fact that I’d been judgmental about the Blue Angels and what I thought I knew of them.

  “What the hell is going on?” Colt demanded, taking in the scene of dancing women.

  I hadn’t even heard him come in, but the look of astonishment on his face had me giggling.

  Joni cut the music and said, “You’ve been acting like a prison guard. So we came to entertain her.”

  “We approve. Just so you know,” Rachel stated.

  “I don’t need your approval,” Colt grumbled.

  No one looked uncomfortable or afraid of him. I found that oddly fascinating. While I was studying his expression, I wobbled and had to reach out to steady myself using the back of the couch.

  Colt looked at his sister. “I blame you for this.”

  “Me?” Joni raised her eyebrows. “Are you referring to the mess or Mia’s inebriated state?”

  “I’m not that inebriated.” I hiccoughed which only caused the girls to snigger. “Okay, maybe I’m slightly toasted. But I can still walk a straight line. Want me to prove it?”

  “Please, don’t,” Colt said. “The last thing I need is for you to trip over your own two feet and hurt yourself. You’re a walking liability, you know that, right?”

  I wrinkled my nose and stuck out my tongue.

  “I think that’s our cue to leave,” Joni said to the others. “This feels like some weird version of foreplay.”

  “None of you are sober enough to drive,” Colt muttered, pulling out his phone. He pressed a button and then, “Get over here. Bring reinforcements.”

  Colt hung up and then stepped further into the room until he was close enough for me to touch him.

  “Are you mad they’re here? Are you really upset I’m kind of inebriated?”

  His gaze softened. “No, I’m not mad they’re here. I’m glad they like you.”

  It’s what I read between the lines that fascinated me—that he was happy they liked me because it meant I could fit in with his life, long term.

  It was there for the taking. All I had to do was reach out and press my lips to Colt’s and nestle myself in the crook of his body. I kept shooting him sidewise glances as the girls trickled out of the house when their men came for them. Joni hitched a ride with Darcy and Gray. The front door closed and Colt and I were alone.

  “My house is a mess,” he stated.

  I looked around the living room, noting the empty margarita glasses, the crust-filled plates, and empty pizza boxes.

  “You are mad.”

  “Yeah, I’m mad.” He grinned. “Mad that you didn’t save me any pizza.”

  I laughed. “Who says I didn’t save you any pizza?”

  “Did you?”

  “No.”

  He peered at me for a long moment. “You had fun? With the girls?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. It was…enlightening.”

  “Enlightening. Did it change anything for you?” When I didn’t reply, Colt said, “Leave it. It can be cleaned up tomorrow.”

  He walked past me up the stairs to disappear into his bedroom. I looked after him, wondering why there was an ache in my chest, wondering why I felt like I’d made a mistake by not being honest with him.

  I headed up to my bedroom, lonelier than I’d felt before.

  Chapter 10

  By the time I woke up late the next morning with a slight hangover, Colt was gone. Cheese sat on the porch in his customary chair and I waved at him through the front window. The remains of my impromptu party littered the living room. While I sipped on a cup of coffee, I cleaned up. As I threw the last of the empty pizza boxes into the garbage, my cell phone vibrated. I followed the sound of it, wondering where I’d left it the previous evening. It wasn’t like I had tons of people trying to get in touch with me. Finding it between the couch cushions, I fished it out and answered it.

  “Hello?”

  “Get dressed,” Joni commanded.

  “Um…”

  “We’re going to the clubhouse for a barbecue. So nothing fancy. Jeans will work.”

  “But I—Colt—”

  “You’re getting sprung, chicken. Everyone wants to meet you.”

  “Everyone? Everyone who?”

  “The club.”

  “Oh, boy.”

  “Yeah, so we’re having a potluck, grilling out. The kids will be there, so it’s just family. Nothing crazy. Promise.”

  I
laughed, though part of me was curious about the Blue Angels I was hearing so much about. I’d only interacted with Zip and Cheese. “Okay, well, what can I bring?”

  “Nothing.”

  “I have to bring something. What will these people think of me?”

  “They know you’re a bit of an invalid and cooking and or stirring things is difficult.”

  “I’m not showing up to a potluck without beer or chips. I’m not a moocher.”

  “Fine, we’ll stop by the grocery store on the way.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise. Can you be ready in an hour?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, see you soon.”

  She hung up, and I shook my head. Before I could dial Colt to confirm the potluck, my phone buzzed again.

  Colt.

  “Are you calling to tell me about the barbecue at the clubhouse?” I asked.

  “Yeah. How’d you know?”

  “Your sister. She’s coming to pick me up. I need to hit the store and get some stuff.”

  “No,” Colt commanded. “Zip will drive you.”

  “But Cheese—”

  “As soon as Zip gets to you, Cheese is on party duty.”

  “Do I even want to know what that means?” I asked.

  “No.” I heard the smile in his voice.

  “Why can’t you drive me?” I demanded.

  “Do you miss me?”

  “No,” I lied. “You’re just a control freak, so I’m surprised you’re letting Zip drive me.”

  “I’m in town. I’ll be at the clubhouse later.”

  “Okay,” I said, giving in.

  “And no grocery store.”

  “But I want to bring things.

  “I’ll swing by and get some stuff.”

  “Get beer, chips, and a premade salad. Or a fruit tray.”

  “Yes, dear,” Colt chimed like a chastised husband. “There’s a spare set of house keys in the drawer next to the fridge. Use those to lock up the house.”

  “Yes, dear,” I parroted.

  He laughed, the sound easy on my ears. I liked knowing I was responsible for it.