The Song of the Wild Geese

by India Millar

  “I’ve left a W of bare skin for you. When you’re a full geisha, it will be a V shape. There. Now, we’ll finish your face. Open your eyes wide.” She tipped a drop of very thick, cold liquid in each eye. It stung and I blinked. A second later, everything was slightly blurred, as if I were looking through gauze. “Don’t worry, it’s a flower distillate. It will make your pupils look huge. Keep very still for a moment.”

  Saki selected a fine brush, and I felt her dabbing at my eyebrows and then the corner of my eyes. Another stroke and my eyebrows were smoothed over.

  “Pout,” she instructed as she placed a quick dab in the center of my bottom lip. Saki sat back and inspected me. “You’ll do.”

  I could tell from her voice that she was pleased. She held her mirror up for me and I stared at my image, slightly fuzzy from the effect of the eye drops. My face was white. The outer corners of my eyes were red, as was the center of my bottom lip. I was so shocked, I put my finger on the glass, half expecting the strange person in the mirror to draw back from my touch.

  “You are truly beautiful, Junko-chan.”

  I smiled, pleased that Saki was pleased.

  “Thank you.” I wanted to hug my elder sister, but I didn’t dare, in case I disturbed anything.

  “Junko.” Something in Saki’s voice made me pause. I stared at her, wishing I could see her expression properly. Between her thick makeup and the flower distillate that blurred my vision, it was impossible. “You do understand that tonight is important, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do.” I was indignant. Did Saki think I was a fool? I had learned much since I had come to the Floating World. No longer did I think the man I had seen taking Chieko was an important noble. Now, I understood that he was nothing more than a man who owned more land than my own parents. A man who could afford to keep a couple of servants and fling some small coins at the peasant girl he had taken for his pleasure. In the Floating World, he would have been nothing at all.

  And I knew that the man who had asked for all of us to entertain him tonight was a noble. I did not know him, but I knew of him. He was a daimyo, truly an aristocrat, and he was bestowing a great honor on the Green Tea House by patronizing us.

  “I mean, you understand it’s important for you?”

  I was about to bite my lip when I remembered it had been painted, so I nodded instead. Cautiously.

  “I’m only a maiko, Saki,” I pointed out. “Nobody is going to be interested in me.”

  It seemed to me that Saki looked shocked beneath her paint. But then she smiled and I guessed I was wrong.

  “You are a dear child, Junko. Has Auntie told you what your name is going to be after your mizuage?”

  I shook my head. Auntie rarely spoke to me, and I was grateful for it.

  “You are to be called Terue. It means ‘Shining Blessing.’ Isn’t that a lovely name?”

  I turned the words over in my mind. Shining Blessing. Saki was right, it was a lovely name. I smiled doubtfully.

  “I hope I’ll bring honor to it.”

  “You will, dear. I know you will.” She hesitated, and then spoke gently. “I know that you find things very strange here in the Floating World, even now. I see you sometimes, looking uncomfortable. Isn’t that so?”

  It was as if a dam had been breached. Suddenly, all my fears and worries rose to my mouth, the words choking to get out.

  “Yes. I just don’t feel as if I belong here, Saki-san. As if I never will. I’m sure I’m not good enough to be a geisha. I’m just a simple country girl, not like the rest of you. I know I’m going to make a fool of myself and bring dishonor on Auntie’s house.”

  I was almost panting with relief. I would have hugged Saki if I hadn’t been afraid of disturbing our lovely clothes and makeup. There! It was out. Perhaps Saki would tell Auntie and she would send me home. At that moment, I would have welcomed it.

  “Not like the rest of us?” Saki echoed. “And you think we’re in some way better than you, Junko-chan? I tell you, all of us geisha here should spend hours each day on our knees in front of the house shrine, thanking the gods for what they have chosen to bless us with.” She paused, listening, and hearing nothing but silence continued. “You think Tamayu is in some way better than you?”

  I nodded. Of course she was. Tamayu was beautiful and elegant and confident. She had lovers who showered her with presents. Her patrons—as she had reminded me every day that she had been my elder sister—were from the highest ranks of society.

  “Tamayu’s the daughter of a whore,” Saki said brutally. “A whore who did not even amount to enough to be in the like of Kaede’s house. Her mother was kept in a lattice brothel, and Tamayu was born there. You’ve heard of them, Junko?”

  I felt as if my heart was in the grip of the first frost of winter, but I found a small voice.

  “I have. Ren and Aki told me about them. They said that was where I would end up if I didn’t behave myself and do as I was told.”

  “They lied, of course.” Saki smiled indulgently. “I can’t think of anything that you could do that would make Auntie sell you to such a place. Apart from anything else, they would pay hardly anything for you and Auntie has a hard head for business. The lattice brothels are truly terrible places, child. The women within them must flaunt themselves to all the men who pass by. They’re expected to push their arms through the lattice and clutch at passing men. To blow kisses and tell their would-be customers how much they’ll charge and what the men can do to them. To reveal their breasts openly. The men in their turn can chat with the women. Touch their breasts if they want to, or even feel their private places before they make up their mind which one to take for the pleasure of the moment and a few coins. The women have no choice in which man has them. Or how they take them.”

  “How did Tamayu get here, then?” I asked, intrigued.

  “Tamayu is the luckiest one of all of us,” Saki said seriously. “She should not have been conceived in the first place. If their courses are so much as a day late, the girls in such places are given a special drink by their Auntie, and any baby that has taken root is washed away. But it didn’t work for Tamayu’s mother. She hid her baby from her Auntie until it became obvious, and by then it was too late to do anything about it.” She paused and cleared her throat. “I understand that Tamayu’s mother suddenly became very popular with a few of the brothel’s patrons. There are some men who find a heavily pregnant woman extremely erotic.”

  I grimaced. I couldn’t help myself. I found the idea of a pregnant woman making love disgusting. Saki grinned at my expression.

  “In any event, she was popular enough she was allowed to stay at the brothel until her baby arrived. It—I mean Tamayu—was left with her as long as she had milk to nurse her with.” I stared at Saki in horror, and she nodded briskly. “Oh yes. There are also many men who enjoy pretending they are babies themselves and enjoy suckling at the breast.”

  I felt sick. But Saki wasn’t finished.

  “As soon as Tamayu was weaned, that was it. She was sold off. You see how lucky she was, once again? She should have been exposed and left to die. But no, a woman who had lost her own baby took a fancy to her and paid her mother’s Auntie a few coins for her.”

  “How do you know?” I asked curiously.

  “Tamayu told me all about it herself. One day when it was raining and she was feeling very down, she told me all about her life. I was supposed to sympathize with her and agree what a terrible time she’d had. I didn’t. I told her she was truly lucky and should be grateful. She didn’t speak to me for days afterward, but it was no great loss to me.”

  Thinking Saki had forgotten my question, I asked her again. “How did she end up here?”

  “The gods smiled on her yet again. The woman who had taken her had more babies, but none of them lived for more than a few weeks until Tamayu was around five years old. The woman finally gave birth to a boy child, and healthy, so of course the woman had no interest in Tamayu anymore. She
sold her on as a slave to a wealthy merchant. This man was a widower who had grown children. According to Tamayu, he made something of a pet of her. In any event, he eventually decided to remarry, and his new wife didn’t like having Tamayu around at all, so she was sold again, but this time to Auntie. And that’s how she ended up here.”

  “She’s very beautiful,” I said. “And talented. I suppose it’s understandable that she should think she’s special.”

  “She’s all right.” Saki shrugged. “But she isn’t any more talented than any other geisha in the Floating World, and not as beautiful as some. And she’s no longer young. That terrifies her. She knows that if the patrons begin to lose interest in her, then the best she can expect is that Auntie will sell her on to a less exclusive tea house. But you can learn a lesson from her, Junko. Because she acts as if she’s special, then everybody believes that she is. Never forget, people cannot see inside your head. They see only what you allow them to see.”

  Echoes of Auntie!

  “Is that why she keeps saying her favorite patron is going to buy her out? So Auntie will think she’s still very popular?”

  “It is. The only thing is, Auntie can see inside your head. She knows what we’re all thinking, and she’s not taken in by Tamayu’s show. If Tamayu can persuade her lover to buy her out, then Auntie will drive a hard deal, but she won’t stop her from going.”

  I thought about this for a moment and then said shyly, “And you, Saki-san? How did you come to be here?”

  “Oh, my tale is easily told. I came from a large family. We lived on the outskirts of Edo, in a poor village. I was the youngest. I had an older sister who married, but after that my father had no money to provide me with a dowry, so marriage was out of the question for me. One day, Auntie came to our village. She looked at many girls, but chose me. Father was delighted and said I was to go with her and not to be any trouble, so I did. Auntie brought me here and made me a maiko. I knew nothing at all at first. I couldn’t sing or dance. I had even rarely tasted tea, so had no idea about the tea ceremony. She taught me everything I needed to know, and I shall be eternally grateful to her for that.”

  “Wouldn’t you have liked to have been married? Had a family of your own?”

  “And would that have made me any happier?” Saki stared at me. “We’re all slaves here, child. We owe everything we have to Auntie. But is it so different from being married? If we had a husband, we would do exactly as he told us. If our prayers were answered and we had boy children, then they too would treat us as their slave. No, believe me. We’re all better off here. We have good lives. And if you’re sensible, as I am, then you save the flower money that your patrons give you. At the moment, I’m too valuable for Auntie to consider allowing me to buy my way out. But I’m under no illusions. The day will come when I wake up and find I have wrinkles on my face and my legs have become too stiff to allow me to dance gracefully. When that happens, I’ll take my store of cash and I will go and talk to Auntie and I think we will deal very well together.”

  “And what will you do then?”

  “I shall go out of the Floating World. I will buy myself a little house with a garden and every day that the weather is fine I’ll sit in the open air and give thanks for the life I have had and the life that is still to come.”

  Saki laughed, gathering her kimono skirts around her.

  “Come along, child. It sounds as if our palanquins have arrived. We’ve been serious long enough for one evening.”

  And thinking on her wise words, I stood tall and followed her proudly.

  Seven

  The tallest tree must

  Start as no more than a seed.

  So are dreams made true.

  I stared down at my tabi. The evening was cool and normally I would have been grateful for the warmth of my tabi socks, comfortable as they were with their divided big toe. But geisha do not wear tabi. When they went out, their feet were bare inside their geta. I felt that my tabi marked me out as a mere maiko, and I wiggled my toes resentfully.

  As well as that minor annoyance, the daimyo’s house came as a huge disappointment to me. I had expected luxury, a palace, but the house—although big—was very simple, almost to the point of being bare. Even the guests—all men, of course—seemed to me to be very plainly dressed, although even I could detect the aura of power they carried with them.

  Ren nudged me with her elbow. “See that one?” she whispered through a fixed smile. I glanced at an elderly man who was leaning toward Saki and smiling at her. “They say he’s the richest man in Edo.”

  I peeped out from behind my fan. Why, I wondered, if he was so rich did he dress so carelessly? He wore no jewels at all. What was the point of wealth if one did not enjoy it?

  “And that one…” Ren nodded fractionally toward an even older man and lowered her voice to an awed whisper. “He is said to be very powerful. He has the friendship of the shogun himself.”

  I was not greatly impressed. Tamayu and Saki had danced and sung and Ren had played on the samisen. I thought our patrons were extremely rude. They talked amongst themselves all the time and barely spared a glance for the geisha, working so hard for their pleasure. I saw Auntie walking toward to me and quickly straightened to attention.

  “Junko. Please, circulate amongst the noble gentleman.” Her voice was so pleasant, I almost glanced behind me to make sure she wasn’t talking to somebody else. “Pour sake where it is needed. If all the gentlemen’s cups are full, then make sure you are there when you are needed.”

  She waved her hand airily, and I obeyed quickly. Flasks of sake in their warming vessels were scattered about the room. I took the nearest one, and began to walk carefully amongst the scattered cushions. I felt terribly self-conscious, and was very grateful when one of the men raised his cup to be filled.

  “You are very graceful, child.” He smiled and I lowered my head, smiling in response as far as my makeup would allow. A much younger man—barely more than a child—sat next to him. I sensed he was as uncomfortable as I was and bowed to him.

  “May I fill your cup, lord?” He held his cup out to me. His hand was trembling so hard the sake would have slopped out if I had not gripped his wrist to steady it.

  “My son, you do me great honor.” The older man was smiling. “It is only right that any man should tremble in the face of such beauty.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it. I heard this sort of polite nonsense every day in the Green Tea House. It meant nothing.

  “My lord, the honor is entirely mine,” I said. Still, I was pleased when both the son and the father looked at me approvingly.

  “You are Terue, child?”

  “No, lord.” He raised his eyebrows in surprise and I hurried to explain. “When I become a geisha, my name will be Terue. But at the moment, I am plain Junko.”

  He laughed so loudly that Auntie hurried across, her face a frozen mask.

  “My lord.” She bowed low. “Has my silly maiko done something wrong? Please forgive her. She is an innocent child and has much to learn.”

  “Indeed, no. She is a great credit to you, Hana. It is many years since I have met with such a refreshing blend of beauty and charm. Perhaps Junko would like to dance for us, if that one—” he flicked a finger at Ren “—will play for her.”

  I needed no urging. I had watched longingly as the other girls danced. I loved every moment of the classic movements Saki had drilled into my head. I stared at Auntie hopefully, and she nodded.

  So I danced. It was the first time I had danced in front of patrons, and for a moment, I was nervous. But it passed as the music captured my feet and the flow of the dance moved my heart. I was sorry when the music stopped and astonished when the patrons clapped. The old man who had been kind to me earlier called me over and patted the cushion at his side. I folded to my knees carefully, half an eye on his sake cup in case it needed filling. He leaned across to speak to me, smiling.

  “Ah. I see our guest of honor has arrived.
What a pity he missed your dancing, Junko. He would have enjoyed it.”

  He patted my shoulder, quite tenderly. I was certain I could feel his bones through the sparse flesh. I was even more certain that his touch had left the dust of years on my sleeve. I watched him rise with relief. He was a very old man. His bones creaked. I did not like him touching me.

  “Now, you just stay there, Junko-chan. I shall not be a moment, and then we can have a nice little chat.”

  I was sure that nobody was watching me, and I stared around with interest. Most of the patrons had risen and were moving toward the newcomer. Only Lord Ito—the noble that Ren had said was a friend of the shogun—remained seated, obviously expecting that the visitor would be brought to him. I glanced up and the breath hitched in my throat.

  The newcomer was a gaijin. I had never seen a foreign barbarian before. Even in Edo, there was only a handful of them and they rarely ventured into the streets. To find a gaijin here, treated as an honored guest by some of the most powerful men in Japan, was shocking. It was rude beyond belief, I knew, but I stared openly at him, wide-eyed with amazement.

  Even stranger, I saw he was talking to the men who were ushering him forward. As he came closer, I realized he was speaking perfect, rapid Japanese. It was so odd, the familiar words pouring out of his gaijin mouth, that I laughed. Although he was across the room from me and could not possibly have heard me, the gaijin turned his head and looked at me.

  I was frozen. Although neither I nor anybody else from my village had ever seen a gaijin, we had heard about them. Some said they were demons in human form. Others disagreed. They might be people, they said judiciously, but they were not the same as Japanese. It was whispered that the men had tails they kept hidden, very carefully. Their women, it was said, had their sex the wrong way around—across instead of down. Everybody agreed about one thing. They were so ugly it hurt the eyes to look at them.

  They were all wrong. I had no idea about the tail, of course. It was remotely possible that he might have a tail, tucked away inside his robe, although I could not believe it. But for sure he was not ugly. Oh no!