The Most Unsuitable Wife

by Caroline Clemmons

  "Belle?” When the other woman threw herself into Pearl's arms, Pearl asked, "Whatever's wrong?"

  Belle's sobs muffled her words. "I've run away. Please let me stay here until I can figure out what to do, where to go."

  Pearl's eyes met Maria's gaze over Belle's heaving shoulders. Pearl guided Belle down the hall to a guest bedroom. With the door closed, Pearl led her friend to the bed before she asked, "Now, tell me what this is all about."

  Belle sat, then hopped up and paced. "Lex wants to marry me.” She dabbed at her tear-streaked face.

  "That's wonderful. You make such a nice couple.” Then she remembered Belle's past. "Oh. You haven't told him about Roxie's?"

  "No. How can I? He has such high ideals and morals, such high standards. How could I tell him?” Belle whirled to face her. "Did you know he wants to run for office, wants to be governor of Texas some day?"

  "I see. I think you should have told him, Belle. He'll think you don't care for him if you run away."

  "But that's why I have to disappear. I can't let him ruin his life because of me."

  Pearl felt decades older than her friend instead of a few years. "That should be his decision, not yours. He loves you. The choice should be his."

  Belle shook her head in denial. "No, no. Don't you see? He'd probably feel honor bound to go through with the marriage because he proposed, even if he changed his mind later. I couldn't bear knowing he was ashamed of me, or resented me."

  "Deserting him is no better."

  "Yes it is. Better for him, at least. What if we married and my being with him ruined his chance at politics? I couldn't stand it. No, he'll find some woman from a good family who can help his career."

  "What are you going to do?"

  Belle held her self straight, her head back. "I don't know, but next time I'll hold out for love, even if it's nothing like the love I feel for Lex. I know I'll never trade my body for a price again."

  "There's always a price.” Pearl felt close to tears herself.

  "You never had one."

  Pearl looked at Belle with a heavy heart, "We all have our price. Yours has gone up considerably now that you know your true worth."

  "And yours?"

  Pearl turned away, unable to meet her friend's questioning gaze. "Mine just changed is all."

  "Oh? How?"

  "I was willing to trade myself for security, for a safe place for me and my family."

  Belle placed a hand on her arm. "And now?"

  She closed her eyes and sighed. "Now all I want is him. All I want is Drake's love."

  "But I think you have it."

  "I'm not so sure and I have to know. I have to know.”

  Before I tell him about the baby, she thought. I have to know if he would stay with me without the baby. I can't bear to think we're still married only because of our child. How can I know what he really feels?

  * * *

  "She says she can't marry him, that she's going away.” Pearl explained to her husband.

  "And did she say why?”

  Pearl wondered at the speculative look he gave her. She didn't know if he was angry or worried for her friend. "She did. She thinks he can find someone from a good family who can help his career. You know he wants to be governor?"

  He stood with his hands in the hip pockets of his denim pants. "I know.” He looked about to say more, but didn't.

  "It's all right that she's here at your ranch for a little while, isn't it?"

  She sure knew how to make a man feel small. "Pearl, this is your home, too. Of course, it's all right. But I don't think it's the answer to their problem."

  "We'd better send the buggy back to Grandpa's. Lily will be needing it."

  Drake turned as Maria summoned them to dinner. "I'll take care of it in the morning."

  The next morning, Drake set out for town with Midnight tied to the buggy. Before he had driven a mile he met his cousin. Drake tugged on the reins to stop the horse and waited for Lex to reach him.

  When Lex reined in at the buggy, Drake said, "Fine morning for a ride eh, Cuz?”

  "Is she still at the ranch?”

  Worry lines pulled at Lex's face. His usually sparkling eyes were darkened as if from pain.

  "If you mean Belle, yes. Though I haven't seen her. She's stayed in her room since she got there."

  Lex's jaw jutted out, features set in stone. "Well, I'm going to see her, see what this is all about."

  "You know what it's about.” Drake felt obliged to add, "I hate to admit it, but guess I was wrong about her."

  "How?"

  "Seems she thinks you need to marry someone from a good family who can help your career."

  "What right has she to decide for me? I know who I want to marry and how to manage my own damned career."

  "You're preaching to the wrong pew."

  "I'm going to settle this right now.” Lex said and nudged his horse into action.

  With a shake of his head, Drake turned the buggy around and headed back to the ranch. He wanted to see the outcome of this confrontation. Then he wanted a word with his wife about keeping secrets.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Lex dropped his horse's reins over the hitching rail before he stormed up to the door. Damned if he'd let Belle walk out on him with no explanation. He should have settled this last night.

  He raised his fist but the door opened before he had the satisfaction of banging for entry.

  "Hello, Lex.” Pearl greeted him, "I thought we might see you today."

  "I want to see Belle."

  "She says she wants to be alone to think. She won't come out of her room."

  When she hesitated, he pushed past her. "Then I'll go to her.” He stalked up the hallway, opening each door along the passageway. "Belle," he shouted, "We're going to talk about this now. You might as well come out."

  On the fifth try, he found her. She stood by the window, reddened eyes and tear-streaked face testimony to her state of mind. He closed the door behind him with a bang.

  "How could you walk out with only that ridiculous note for me?” He wanted to shake her for the pain she caused him, wanted to pull her close and comfort her for her own pain.

  "I did what was best.” She turned from him and to face the window.

  "How could it be best? I love you. I think you at least care for me."

  He saw her shaking hands, heard her shuddering sobs. But she held her head high, still refusing to look at him. "You're a nice man, but I... I thought we were just good friends. I'm not ready to settle down yet."

  Good friends, hell. "And what do you plan to do?"

  "I think I might like to have a business for myself, like Pearl and Sarah have. I might even go back east.”

  She turned and walked to a chair at the other side of the room. She stood with her hands on the molded back finials.

  He followed her. "Oh? Back east?"

  "Yes, I kind of liked some of the towns we came through on the train. Memphis seemed real nice."

  "And what about me? About us?"

  He stepped closer, but she turned away and waved a hand in dismissal.

  "Why, you'll be so busy with your political plans, you won't even notice I'm gone."

  "Belle, I asked you to be my wife. Do you think I could want to be with you enough to propose and not miss you?"

  "Well, law, I don't know. I thought maybe you just needed to be married, for the campaign and all. I'm sure there are lots of suitable women in town who would make a wonderful governor's wife.”

  She kept her face turned away from him.

  "There probably are, but not for me."

  "Don't worry, you'll find the right one. Lily and your mother will help you.”

  She seemed to be getting into her role now, he decided. She gestured dramatically with an arm. "As for me, I'm much more suited to a life of solitude. I think a millinery shop for refined ladies would be quite nice. Oh, and I'd keep up piano lessons wherever I settle, of course. I enjoy them, and pl
aying in church."

  "And what about marriage? A family of your own?"

  "Maybe someday. When the right man comes along. For now, I need to see more of the world, experience life and test myself. I do hope we can still be friends, though."

  He wanted to hit something, hard. He wanted to beat his own head against the wall. Most of all, he wanted to hold Belle. He put his hands on her shoulders and turned her into his chest. She stiffened but didn't pull away. Except for red eyes and tear-stained cheeks, her face presented a mask.

  "Belle, I know about your past and why you were at Pearl's when we met. It doesn't make any difference."

  In a flash, the mask crumbled into an expression of sheer horror. "No! You can't know.”

  She stepped back and peered into his face. "Oh, you do. You do know.” She pulled away and ran to the door.

  He moved fast and stepped in front of her.

  She hid her face in her hands. "Oh, the shame of it. Dear Lord, just let me die now.” Sobs wracked her body. "How did you find out? When?"

  He caressed her shoulders. "I've known since before I met you. That sorry excuse for a preacher and his wife came to Evan's office the first day in Pipers Hollow. They complained about Pearl, mentioned someone living in her house."

  She hit her fists against his arms. "Oh, I'll bet they did, those horrid, horrid people.” As if realizing she struck him, she stopped the pummeling. She placed her hands on his chest and raised her face to his. "I never wanted you to know, you of all people."

  "Of all people, I'm the one you should have told.” He pulled her heaving form to his chest and kissed her hair. "That happened before we met. Only now and the future are important."

  She leaned back to examine his face. "You... you've always known, and you were still nice to me?"

  "You never gave me reason to be otherwise. It doesn't matter."

  She pulled away and turned from him. "It will matter. Someday, someone will say something and you'll be embarrassed. Or you'll wonder about me and... and other men. You'll resent them, and then you'll resent me. I couldn't bear that."

  "I could never resent you. Don't you see that I love you? I want to be with you always."

  "Think how you'd feel if someone from Tennessee recognized me. What if your parents found out about me? What then?"

  "Belle, they already know. I told them."

  She sank to a chair and buried her head in her lap. "No. Oh, Dear Heavenly God. Not your parents, too. They were always so nice to me. What must they think of me now?"

  "They think you're the woman I've chosen to share the rest of my life. And they've chosen to be happy for me—for us." He knelt in front of her and cupped her chin with his hand.

  The tears pouring down her face broke his heart. How could he convince her she meant everything to him?

  "You can't mean it, Alexon. Not really. You can't still want me, knowing what you do. What about your career? What about politics?"

  "Without you, it would mean nothing. With you by my side, we can accomplish anything we set out to do.”

  "I can't believe you still want me, that you can forget all I've done."

  "I know that, whatever you did, you had what you thought were good reasons at the time. Running from me is wrong. I won't let you go, Belle. I won't let you go now that I've found you."

  "I couldn't bear it if you regretted our marriage later. You're too much a gentleman to break a vow. I don't want you to feel trapped."

  "How could I feel trapped when I'd be the luckiest man alive?"

  "You say that now, to persuade me. But I've seen your face when other men flirted with me at church or parties. I thought then that if you knew about my past, you'd be angry with me or disgusted.”

  He touched her cheek where fresh tears slid.

  "Oh.” She shook her head in disbelief. "But I see now you did know. Now I wonder what you were thinking. Alexon, I promise I never encouraged those men. I was polite, but that's all.”

  She turned her face away and shrugged a shoulder. "That's how it would be. You see, I'm defending myself already.”

  "Did I ask you to? No, I never doubted you, Belle.” He rose and pulled her to her feet. "I won't promise not to be jealous when men are too attentive to you. But you have to realize that's natural for a man. We're territorial. It has nothing to do with your past, just that I want you all to myself. You're a beautiful woman and draw men like bees to honey.”

  "Please, Alexon. Don't tempt me further. It's too late. I know you can find someone who'll be right for your career, right for the wife of an important man."

  "I've found her... you're the one, Belle. Only you. I'm not leaving this room without you."

  She searched his face. He watched hope spring into her eyes, saw the longing there.

  "Can you mean it?" She touched his cheek with her fingers.

  "I can and do. We belong together, forever.” He claimed her mouth with his and set about proving his devotion. When they broke their kiss, he brushed a hand across her moist cheek. "Let me take you home. Grandpa and Lily are worried about you."

  "Do... does Lily—"

  "No, Lily doesn't know... and it's none of her business. Grandpa has known all along. Seems Evan wrote about how Pearl helped a lot of people."

  "Grandpa knows? He's never let on, and he's been so nice to me. And Drake must know, too. Oh, Alexon, what a kind family you have, and so unusual."

  He needn't tell her about Drake's comments. Especially since his cousin had admitted he was wrong about Belle. "They're your family now.”

  He looked back at the room. "Do you have stuff to pack before we go back to town?"

  "Could... could we go see your folks? I need to explain to them—and you—about what happened to me in Tennessee. Best to get it over with."

  "Whatever you want. As long as we do it together."

  * * *

  The lovestruck pair drove away a few minutes later, Lex's horse tied behind the buggy. Pearl closed the door with a sigh.

  "Isn't that nice? They make a lovely couple." She turned to find Drake glaring at her, hands fisted at his waist.

  "Would you step into my study? I'd like a word with you in private."

  She followed him into his personal sanctum. Why was he so solemn?

  "Would you care to explain why you told me Belle was your cousin? Why you never told me about her previous occupation?"

  Shock raced through her. He knew. How long had he known and how much? And how did he find out?

  "It’s possible Belle and I are related through her mother's people, even if it is distant. As for the other, how... what do you know?"

  "Not nearly enough, thank you. I know she worked for Sarah's mother. I know she was beaten by a customer and almost died. I know you took her in to help her.” The little tick at the corner of his mouth twitched, but he appeared calm otherwise.

  "That's most of what I know. A man who'd worked for her father asked her to go away with him and she thought he meant to marry her. When he laughed at her, she left him. She never meant to be anything but a good girl.”

  Pearl paused in thought. "She is a good person, she just had some bad trouble. After she left the man, her father wouldn't let her come home and she had no place to go. I didn't know her then, or she could have come to my place right off."

  "So, she went to Roxie's place instead?"

  "No, not at first. She went to all the businesses in town asking for work. Then she tried the houses to see if she could clean or help for food. After that, she went to the church asking for help."

  That got his attention. "The church? To that pompous ass and his stick of a wife who came to Evan's office?"

  "The same. They told her she had sinned and had to bear the burdens of her mistakes. They wouldn't even let her sleep in the church or give her any food."

  "The hell you say."

  "She had no money, no place to stay, no food. That was in January and it was awful cold. She went to Roxie's last, because she was freez
ing and hungry.”

  Pearl knew how Belle hated telling her about that time, knew she wanted no one else to know. "I'm not saying she did right, but I can't say what I would do in the same circumstances. She was alone and scared. If she had gone to Evan he would have brought her to me, but she was afraid he would put her in jail."

  "You should have told me the truth."

  "It wasn’t mine to tell. Belle made me promise to tell no one when she came. She was so ashamed."

  "I'm your husband. You're not supposed to have secrets from me.”

  "Drake, I didn't even know you when I... when I lied. I’d spent days trying to keep Belle from dying and I wasn't about to abandon her. Then there just never seemed to be a way to tell without making it worse. I only wanted to protect Belle and get my family away from Pipers Hollow. I thought it would get us away from danger and save your ranch at the same time."

  "Who beat her like that?"

  Pearl shook her head. "She won't say. In fact, she seemed more frightened each time I asked, so I stopped asking. Whoever he is, he must have threatened her with worse if she told.”

  "I wonder if he's one of the men chasing you. Surely there can't be that many killers in Pipers Hollow."

  "I wondered, too, but couldn't see how the two could be tied together. Even though we might be distantly related, I'd never set eyes on Belle until Roxie and Cal brought her to me a week before you came.”

  She wondered about his knowledge of Belle's plight. "When did you know about her?"

  "Before I met you. Remember Lex and I were in Evan's office when the pastor and his wife came to call. They complained about you harboring a harlot with impressionable youngsters in your home. Evan filled us in later."

  She rushed to him. "Oh, Drake. You've known all this time and you still treated her like family? What a kind and generous man you are."

  Across the room sat the ridiculous cattle horn chair she'd found in the barn loft. She smiled and visualized a pint-sized version of Drake rocking in that chair in a few years. Maybe things would be all right after all. If he'd known about Belle all this time, maybe he wouldn't mind the baby. Maybe he was coming to care for her as well. She hugged his neck and planted a kiss on his cheek.