Judge, Jury, & Executioner Boxed Set

by Craig Martelle

  Rivka sat in front of them, leaning forward to study the two delegates. “Gentlemen. This is where the magic will happen. The spies who are listening to your every word have been removed from the equation. We can work in the peace and serenity of my ship. The ship with no name,” she added.

  It wouldn’t make a good plaque. The Treaty to end all treaties was signed on this spot aboard Corvette Seven Seven Four.

  “The Peacemaker. The Arbinator,” Jay offered softly. Rivka looked at the floor and closed her eyes to better gather her thoughts.

  “My name is Yus. I come from Ekmone, from family Ekmone. I am here because Keome didn’t want someone they could trust. They wanted someone they could control. My family is at risk if I don’t come back with a treaty that denigrates Pretaria and awards all trade to Keome.”

  “All?” Rivka asked, wondering at the extreme nature of the word.

  “All. Which is impossible, of course, as my Pretarian counterpart will confirm.”

  They both looked to Maseer. “I am Maseer, and I am the Primary of Pretaria. I speak for my people. They know not what is best for them, but they will mob the government if we do not put Keome in its place. I am in charge, but not in charge of anything. No Primary ever has been. We are elected by a popular vote that is readily manipulated even though the winner matters not, since nothing will change unless those in charge want to change it. The business and religious leaders call the shots.”

  “Your businesses are stymied without Federation trade. Expand to the universe and see what’s possible.”

  “Our people think they want what Keome has.”

  Yus watched Maseer closely. “We have nothing anyone wants, which is why Keome wants what you have.”

  “It appears that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence—until you get there and find that it is not, and never has been.” Rivka stood up and waved at the screen. “Chaz, if you would be so kind, please bring up my notes from last night.”

  Federation law appeared in its tight and small font, while a larger window highlighted the key points.

  “Interesting,” Yus and Maseer said together.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Red volunteered to go, but Rivka wouldn’t let him. “We’ll call it in. Nothing like some good takeout. It’d be great if it weren’t toxic to humans, so we’ll settle for good and eat our own slop.”

  Red tried not to look offended.

  “What would you like to eat, gentlemen?” Rivka interrupted. The Pretarian and the Keome were head-down, jamming an entirely new treaty that Rivka would declare her work and force both parties to comply with while secretly knowing that the representatives had crafted a treaty together—something that was in their own best interests.

  They had reduced the number of points from forty-seven to ten, whittling away the incessant denigration that each society had demanded and focusing solely on what each society needed. The upper hand? Neither had that.

  “Are you sure?” Maseer asked.

  “Researched, double-checked, and verified,” Rivka replied. She gave him the thumbs-up.

  “Human gestures are so very odd.” Maseer tried to replicate the gesture by holding up two of his five fingers and failed.

  “I agree. It is both stultifying and mesmerizing.”

  Rivka nodded. “What do you want to eat? I’ll order you something, since our food units don’t make anything you can eat.”

  “Turbid Pie, please,” Yus said without hesitation.

  “I think we have something similar. I’ll take that, too, please.”

  “Coming right up.” Rivka returned to the bridge. “Chaz, show me the definition of the word ‘stultifying.’”

  “1: Cause to appear foolish. 2: Render ineffectual by degrading means. 3: Allege or prove to be of unsound mind (legal).”

  “I’ll be damned. I think I’ll have to use that word more, especially as it relates to Grainger. Thanks, Chaz. Please call the Pretarians and have two orders of Turbid Pie delivered to the ship, quick as they can.”

  “Of course, Magistrate,” the EI replied pleasantly.

  “Connect me with Grainger, please.”

  The interstellar communications device tapped through the ship’s systems. The miniaturized Etheric power supply helped it connect instantly.

  “Nethers. Is it war? Do we need to deploy the fleet? The end of all life as we know it? Or are you stuck and need a sage and guiding hand?”

  “That is so very stultifying. You should be ashamed!”

  “You think I’m of unsound mind? I can’t imagine what I have or haven’t done to earn that label, but I’ll take it! It’s much better than Schlong-Man, a most unsavory alternative. But I am interrupting. Pray tell, what brings your feather-soft words to my undeserving ears?”

  “You have to be one of the weirdest individuals I’ve ever met. To your most undeserving ears, I deliver unto thee my status report.”

  “Shoot,” Grainger encouraged.

  “Both sides lied, and their treaty was a total pile of garbage. We’re rewriting it in its entirety. I expect to have signatures on it later today or first thing tomorrow.”

  “Everybody lies!” Grainger exclaimed. “That’s our first assumption whenever we talk to these people. I thought I hired a raging bull and methinks we have a naive school girl instead.”

  “You are such a bawdy fuckwit-fondler. When I get back, with the crisis successfully avoided and the treaty intact, you will buy me a beer. On a completely different note, since we are talking about someone looking foolish, you have to give Red some nanocytes. He is susceptible to heat like you can’t believe. Walked a hundred meters in this blast furnace and keeled over like a dead cactus. I had to carry his big ass into the first meeting. I don’t mean arm-over-my-shoulder, either. Fireman’s carry. I should get a bonus for that.”

  “You should! Too bad you won’t. I’ll consider Pod-doc time for Red, but we’ll have to tie him to a long-term contract. Can’t have people trained to his degree getting enhanced and then being turned loose upon the universe. I think he’ll probably be fine, but I want to be sure before we do. Can you get into his head and check?”

  “I don’t like doing that,” she replied.

  The silence was pure. There were no errant crackles or pops. The only sound on the bridge was the gentle hum of the air-handling system. It was warmer than they usually liked it, but still about eighty degrees cooler than the aliens were used to.

  “It is completely your call. Just let me know when you get back, and we’ll dial him up a set of hot pants.”

  “I don’t think that means what you think it means. He did tell them to freeze, though, so he wouldn’t have to shoot them.”

  “Was that before or after you carried him?”

  “After...” she drew the word out, wondering what Grainger was thinking. It didn’t take long.

  “You tell Chilly Willy we’ll hook him up.” Rivka snorted. “Anything else?”

  “How are you doing on your mission? And the others?”

  “I’ll be damned if Cheese Blintz isn’t already back. It took him less than an hour to break down the crime and catch the perp. When you have nine suspects and a small area within which to work, it makes things easier.”

  “What about Jael?”

  “She’s chasing ghosts. The deeper she digs, the more bodies she finds. It’s giving her more to work with, and still dead ends. It’s not going well. The people are afraid.”

  “Understandable,” Rivka agreed.

  “I’m on Yoll. Still.” Grainger didn’t share anything further.

  “I see how you are. I’ll take the high road and be home long before you. Magistrate Rivka Anoa, out.” She signed off. The others were fighting the good fight, but Chi was already back, maybe out on another mission already. There was no end to lawlessness.

  “ETA on chow, Chaz?”

  “If I didn’t know better, I would think you were speaking in tongues,” the EI replied. “The food for our deleg
ates will arrive in sixty standard minutes.”

  “Another hour? Are they making it from scratch?”

  “I am led to believe it is a lengthy process. Turbid Pie is considered a delicacy and is very expensive. I have charged the cost to your card, Magistrate.”

  Rivka’s face fell. “This is how it’s going to be, huh?” She pulled herself from the captain’s chair. It wasn’t as comfortable as the recliner, but the aliens had that blocked. Their tall bodies, wrapped with blankets, seemed to completely fill the space on the mess deck.

  Rivka leaned against the bulkhead and watched the aliens work. The white cat was coming from the short corridor where the cabins were located. He looked at the veritable mountains in the middle of the room and hissed before sniffing. He jumped onto the blanket and started climbing upward. Yus looked over his shoulder, and his eyes shot wide as plates when he saw the cat. He bolted upright, throwing the blanket from his shoulders.

  He slammed into the overhead and crumpled to the deck. Hamlet shot into the corner, dashed over him, turned sideways, and finally bolted back toward the crew’s cabins. Maseer was petrified by fear.

  “Primary?” Rivka called as she waved a hand in front of his face. “Are you going to be okay?”

  “I have never been so terrified. You have a creature on board your ship?”

  Rivka checked the bump on Yus’ head.

  “A cat. His name is Hamlet. There are those who say they are the greatest predator in the universe, but since they’re only five kilos, they’re perpetually pissed off. He’s also very cuddly.”

  “Cuddly? I don’t know this word.”

  “I feel sorry for all Pretarians.” She sat on the floor cradling the Keome’s head while Jay draped the blanket over him again. “And I think all Keome, too. It’ll be an hour before the Turbid Pie arrives. I hope you don’t mind.”

  “An hour.” Maseer kept his eyes fixed on the corridor down which the cat disappeared. “I hope they aren’t taking shortcuts. It is a delicate process to make the dish properly. One hour is barely enough time.”

  “Hamlet is one of my crew,” Rivka told him as Yus started to stir.

  “You keep a terrifying creature as one of your crew? What is its role?”

  Rivka opened her mouth to defend Hamlet, but the words didn’t come. Red and Jay both held up hands showing razor thin scabs where they’d been scratched. Her claw marks had healed, thanks to the power of the nanocytes.

  “Advanced combat techniques with non-bipedal life forms. He’s also my ship’s morale officer.”

  “Morale?”

  “Yes. He makes me happy because he makes Red sad.”

  “I’m not sad...” Red started to say.

  Jay punched him before blurting, “I love him!”

  Yus spasmed as he sat up. He twisted his head back and forth and up and down as he looked for his enemy.

  “Relax,” Rivka told him. “I should have mentioned Hamlet. He’s not as terrifying as all that. You don’t have cats, clearly. Do you keep pets at all?”

  “Pets? I don’t know the word. We have no mammals on Keome besides us. We have insects, of course, hexapod invertebrates being the most prevalent, but nothing like that horrendous creature.” Yus snaked a hand from under his blanket to point down the corridor Maseer continued to watch.

  “Where did it go? Will it come back?”

  “He. His name is Hamlet, and he lives here. Jay, can you bring him out?”

  Jayita put her hands on her hips. “He’s a little bit scared right now, and I’m not a fan of donating my flesh and blood for a group hug.”

  Rivka could not disagree. “He is my friend,” Rivka began. “Even though he’s only been in my life for a couple days, I am happier for it. Same with you two. I know what you are both struggling with. For some insane reason, your two societies want to hate each other. People with nothing looking across the fence and thinking that the other guy has something they don’t. Neither of your planets has anything, but they have everything they need to thrive. I’m not talking handouts. I’m talking about being able to make your own way. Leave envy behind, since it does neither of you any good.”

  Maseer finally looked away from the corridor. “But my people...” His thought stopped.

  Yus looked down at the blanket. “I think I can get up,” he told Rivka, who had continued to cradle his head in her lap. The tall alien unwound his long arms and legs from the blanket, stood, and then rewrapped it around him. “I can’t believe how cold you prefer it. I would think your bodies would stop moving and freeze in place. The heat is such a wonderful lubricant for the joints. You should try it.”

  Red didn’t look like he agreed.

  “There is someone outside the ship with a delivery.”

  “Turbid Pie!” the delegates said in unison.

  “I’ll get it,” Red told them, not inviting argument. He reached into a pack that he kept in the common room and pulled out something that Rivka hadn’t seen before. “No bugs.”

  “That could be a problem, because Turbid Pie is made from the largest of the hexapods.”

  “Not that kind of bug. Listening devices, although I suspect that Chaz can prevent any emissions from inside the ship. We have a power source that helps the ship to do many unexpected things.”

  The group cleared the small counter in the kitchen while they waited for Red to return. He put the box in the empty spot and held up two small devices. “Someone doesn’t like not knowing what’s going on.”

  “One from each of our delegations?” Maseer suggested.

  “Probably. It looks like they may be starting to agree on something—that they can’t control us.” Yus passed the first of two boxes to Maseer, who thanked him and waited for Yus to get his own. They opened them together.

  “Smells just like Mom used to make.”

  “Me, too,” Yus agreed.

  Rivka stifled a gag. Red swallowed hard. Jay was nowhere to be seen.

  “I’ll be on the bridge,” Rivka told them.

  “I’ll be somewhere else,” Red added.

  The delegates never realized that the others had left since they were consumed with the delicacy. They ate it standing up, savoring every bite.

  “I think we’re ready to share the new treaty with both your worlds. Now that the framework is established, what are the next steps?”

  “Since we’ve demanded arbitration, our respective governments have to simply accept what is written. There is no opportunity to dispute the treaty. This will cause many of our people to get upset,” Maseer explained.

  “The time to get upset was before requesting that the Federation get involved. What I mean is, what will they do to you?”

  Maseer looked at Yus.

  “Me? My family will probably be in prison before the day is out, and when I return, I shall join them.”

  “I fear my fate will be similar. We agree, my friend Yus and I, that we will be vindicated in time. We may never see it, but this is the right thing to do for both our planets if we are ever to move forward. Joining the Federation was a great thing, but each of our planets had a selfish reason to do so. It was the right thing to do, but for the wrong reason. This treaty changes that.”

  “And you will both be punished for doing right by your people.” Rivka sighed heavily. People made sacrifices all the time, for their families or for their beliefs. Martyrs for the cause. She knew it was the right thing to do, but she couldn’t agree with letting the two delegates shoulder the burden. “How can we convince them that this is my document and you argued violently against it?”

  “We are the ones who will have to sign it. Our signatures will be our final words.”

  “You don’t have to sign it. Maybe we do it that way. You refuse, but the arbitration will be complete and enforceable under Federation law. No, you will both refuse to sign it.”

  She looked from one to the other. She had to know, so Rivka touched Yus’ arm, held it for a moment, then touched Maseer.

 
A spark of hope springing from a black pit of sadness. Their thoughts were nearly identical. They were both willing to give their lives for what they believed in, but it made Rivka sad that they thought that way. Trade agreements shouldn’t be life or death for their champions.

  “Your worlds could not have selected better representatives. Maybe there is hope for all of Intripas. I am honored to have worked with you.” She turned toward the bridge. “Chaz, please inform the official representatives from both delegations that we will be joining them in the conference room momentarily.”

  “It is late at night,” Yus exclaimed.

  Rivka frowned. “Does anyone know what day it is?”

  Red waited in the corridor. Two guards were stationed there, different from the ones from whom Rivka had taken the weapons. Jay and Rivka sat in the conference room chairs with their legs dangling. The delegates sat on their respective sides of the table. Their heads were in their hands, and they both looked to be asleep.

  “We should have brought Hamlet with us. He would have made things exciting.”

  “Can cats survive heat like this?” Rivka wondered. “And no, we can’t terrorize the locals with all five kilos of our little killer.”

  Jay chuckled. Rivka jumped down and started to pace. She hadn’t realized how tired she was until she stopped moving. “I should have waited until morning, but if we can wrap this up now, then we can go home. I have beer waiting for me.”

  “And me,” Jay added.

  “You’re not old enough yet. Shirley Temples for you, but you can join us. You’re my crew.”

  The door opened and remaining members of both delegations forced their way into the room, snarling at each other as they hurried to their respective leaders. They all talked at once, but Yus called for calm and Maseer followed suit.

  Rivka yelled, “Shut it!” She jumped back into the chair and then stood on it to be at eye level with the tallest of the aliens. “This is the treaty that I’m going to force down your throats. Both Maseer and Yus have refused to sign, and I don’t care. Their signatures are not required for this treaty to be binding on both your people. Take a few minutes to read what I am committing you to.”