Resisting Redemption

by Amabel Daniels

  “Shit.”

  Even though it was a whisper, guilt was immediate. “Shoot.”

  He showed her the bottle in the box. Still grouchy.

  Next, he offered her a stuffed animal from the bag. Nothing doing.

  A pouch of sweet potato and apple.

  Different bottle.

  Blanket.

  Every toy in the bag.

  Pacifiers.

  Until he’d emptied everything from the bag, he’d held onto hope. But Lucy’s lower lip pouted out even further.

  Now what?

  If he had to guess, she still looked sleepy. And if Roxie anticipated an hour’s worth of sleep, Lucy was missing out.

  “Hug?” He winced as he picked her up, hoping he was managing her in the proper and correct posture. Not like a bomb, not like a football…like a koala. That was how Roxie instructed.

  Grant checked her snug to his hip and bounced her a bit. Less fussy sounds, but unhappiness remained the name of her game.

  “Wanna walk?” He paced in the office. Slowly, then quicker when she started protesting.

  Knocks sounded at the door, and he carried Lucy over to answer.

  Surprise might have been forefront on Marcus’s face when he was let in by a baby-toting Grant, but the lawyer could have sworn there was a hint of amusement. What? He looked that bad holding a baby? Marcus didn’t think he could do it?

  “Babysitting?” Marcus shut the door behind him.

  “Something like that. She was supposed to be napping.”

  Marcus sat on the couch. “Famous last words of fathers. She hungry?”

  Grant shrugged and jerked his head toward the box. “I offered her the full menu.”

  Lucy nestled closer to Grant’s chest and rubbed her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Marcus, I didn’t anticipate her being here for our—”

  Marcus leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees with a snort. “She’s not going to tell anyone what we discuss, right? Maybe rub her back? Looks beat. Ben was a pain in the ass to get down for naps. Had to walk with him and rub his back.”

  Grant spread his hand up and down Lucy’s back, grateful for the parental advice from one man to another. “What’s up, Marcus?” He’d called early in the morning for a quick meeting, but didn’t offer many details. “See the bit on the news?”

  Marcus nodded. “Yes. Thought I’d see what’s developing.”

  Grant gave Marcus a watered-down summary of his latest theories and who he and Roxie had interviewed recently. Roxie already shared their agenda as much as possible with Marcus, but Grant understood and respected the man’s need and desire for constant contact.

  His baby, his only son, was in jail awaiting trial on a murder charge. Ben was the only client, technically, to whom Grant needed to divulge information about the case, but Ben had explicitly expressed that his dad needed to be in the loop.

  “The contract for the music video?” Marcus asked after the rundown. “Isn’t that far-fetched?”

  Sounds just like Roxie.

  “Turning over every stone. It was an intensive investigation that brought Ben into his charges, and it will be just as thorough of an ordeal to get him out of them.”

  Marcus sighed deeply. “I know. Seems money wouldn’t be an issue.”

  “When isn’t it in life?” Grant winced at Lucy’s increasing noises. He continued rubbing her back because it seemed to help somehow, but there was no way he could give her what she wanted—Roxie. It had only been about twenty minutes since she’d left.

  “Well, I won’t keep you.” Marcus tipped his head at Lucy.

  “Any time you want to stop by, any question, let me know,” Grant said as Marcus stood.

  “Oh, I know.” Marcus waved at Grant to stay seated. “Helluva difference when Tara was running the show. Never told me shit.”

  Grant acknowledged his farewell with a wave of his fingers at Lucy’s back.

  Once Marcus was gone, Grant ran a repeat of his previous offerings to Lucy. Bottle, food, toys, blanket, pacifier, walking. Nothing. One other idea rose in his mind and he winced.

  Not the diaper. Please no.

  Holding Lucy up higher in front of him, he sniffed at her rear.

  “Holy sh—shoot.”

  How the hell do you change a diaper? He briefly considered calling his sister Kelly, but ditched the thought. Then he’d have to explain why he needed to change a diaper, and he didn’t have time for that.

  Holding Lucy on his lap, he sat at his desk and opened up a browser on his laptop. Good old Google.

  As he studied the step-by-step instructions and diagrams, his confidence sank lower. His phone rang and he answered while bouncing Lucy on his lap and reading about how to prevent diaper rash.

  “Hello.”

  “What is that noise?” It was Chris.

  “Uh, long story.”

  “Sounds like a baby.”

  “It might be.” Grant couldn’t understand why Chris was calling him when they were meeting up in… He glanced at the time at the bottom of the screen. Fifteen minutes ago. “Hey, what’s going on? You forgot to come by?”

  “No, didn’t forget. Something came up. I was wrapping up some files for you to bring with me when Frank called. Issue at home. I’m sorry, man, I gotta run home and check on him.”

  All too easily, Grant completely sympathized. With Chris needing to tend to an urgent matter with his teenager at home, with Marcus desiring unnecessary but frequent checks in on his son’s murder trial, and with Roxie stressing at how she could care for Lucy on a whim during the workday…

  Too long had he been alone, tied and committed only to his work. Even when married, his career was his baby, his burden.

  “No, that’s fine.” Actually, with Lucy not napping in his office, Grant doubted he’d be able to bang ideas around with Chris anyway. “Go ahead, man. I know how it is.”

  He rolled his eyes at his consolation. Hypocrite. Watching Lucy for an hour didn’t automatically classify him as a knowledgeable parental figure.

  “I mean, it’s cool. Go ahead. I’ve got my hands full here. Plenty to get through. We’ll catch up tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, Grant. I’m not leaving you hanging, though. I went through most of that list you emailed me late last night, plus a few tangents that struck me as interesting. I lumped it all together and sent you a load of documents to wade through.”

  Speak of the devil, the faint ping alerted from his laptop. Emails received.

  “Excellent. We’ll touch base tomorrow.”

  “First thing,” Chris promised before they hung up.

  Before he could dig into the documents Chris had compiled, Lucy was Grant’s first priority.

  After several mistakes, Grant finally managed to dry and clean Lucy’s bottom. Then she accepted the pouch of food. And the bottle. Cranky and exhausted as she was, she still refused sleep. In a strange compromise, he rocked in his chair with her slumped on half his chest as he read the reports on his computer.

  By the time he checked the clock, he realized Roxie had been gone for three hours. Had something happened? Something ominous with Sophia? Worry spiked through his thoughts and he checked his phone. He’d set it aside to concentrate on appeasing Lucy and working on Ben’s case, and he’d missed her text.

  Phone was found.

  No further details followed.

  Growls rumbled from his stomach and he shifted the sleeping weight of Lucy on his torso, praying his cue to eat didn’t wake her up. Hunger would have to pass. It wasn’t like he hadn’t skipped a meal before. Actually, he mused as he distracted himself from the excel sheet on his screen, he’d been eating more regularly since Roxie had come into his life.

  Probably why he’d even noticed the hunger pangs to begin with. On his own, he would have plowed on and ignored his basic needs. With Roxie, she’d insist he at least maintain fuel for his body. Whether her insistence for nourishment was medically founded or something of intimate concern, he coul
dn’t decide.

  A half hour later, his office door opened. Roxie hustled in, her hair messy, her eyes strained, her mouth open with panting breaths. He held a finger to his lips to warn her to shut it. Getting Lucy to finally nap was his biggest accomplishment of the afternoon and he’d be damned if Roxie ruined it.

  Quickly, she bobbed her head up and down and held up a palm in truce. Yeah, Roxie would get it. She’d know better than to disturb her sleeping daughter. Her brows slanted together as she walked further on the carpet, her footfalls muted. She took a deep breath as she tossed her phone to the couch and brought a bag of what smelled like takeout.

  “She’s still sleeping?” she asked.

  “She only started sleeping a half hour ago.”

  Wincing, she sat on the couch.

  With delicate and gingerly movements, Grant stood with Lucy and came to sit next to Roxie.

  “Why, uh…where are your shirts?” she asked as she carefully opened the paper bag.

  “She was fussy for a while. I read it online that babies like to feel skin to skin. For comfort.” Grant reached for a cup of fries with his free hand. Yeah, he was sheepish to admit he’d looked up how to calm a baby. And he’d doubted the advice too. But after Lucy had pulled at his chest hair for a minute, she’d slipped into sleep.

  Roxie’s attempt to hide a smile failed.

  He frowned. “What? It worked.”

  Pursing her lips, she nodded and replied quietly. “Looks like it.”

  “Then why’s that so funny? She spilled food all over my first shirt and dumped milk on my undershirt.”

  Her head snapped up as she faced him. “I’m sorry. I’ll have them cleaned.”

  Not that damn guilt again. Lucy was a baby. Babies made messes. It wasn’t like the infant deliberately stained his clothes. Was he really that uptight that Roxie cringed at inconveniencing him, or was she simply that considerate? “It’s not a big deal, Rox.”

  One corner of her lips tipped up. “Kudos for thinking of that. Skin to skin. But I’m surprised it worked.”

  He waited for her to continue as she set a sandwich on his knee.

  “I mean, skin to skin is usually for newborns, especially when the mother is breastfeeding. And Lucy’s never been held by a man before, other than you. I have to guess she was confused at the difference of your harder, muscular, hairy man chest to my”—she vaguely waved a hand at herself—“well, you know what I mean.”

  He withheld a comment about her assets.

  “Must have liked your heartbeat though.” Roxie smiled. “She couldn’t look more content.”

  Grant held her gaze and allowed a small grin. He ate and spoke around the food. “So…did you get lost?”

  She groaned quietly. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  “I told you, we’re fine.” It had taken him a while, but he and Lucy figured out a peace. “Now what happened?”

  Roxie explained there was a traffic jam holding up the bus. Then there was a huge line at the phone store, something about a new device being released and people waiting to get theirs, and then when she finally secured a representative, she’d learned her phone was active, not dead, and it pinged to the offices.

  “It was here? The whole time?” Grant looked around the room. But he’d called it and they didn’t find it.

  “Not in this room, this office. But in the building. Guess it fell out or something, and someone turned it into lost and found.”

  Did Kaniz even have a lost and found? Grant wouldn’t have known. “Lost and found in the main lobby? On the ground floor?” Maybe it had fallen out when he rushed from the garage in the morning. He had been hasty. It was possible.

  Roxie shook her head. “No. Up here. Some guy turned it in to Lia. Said he found it on the floor.”

  His brows remained scrunched. Seemed strange. “That’s good news, then, I suppose.”

  Roxie shrugged. “I missed a few calls, but nothing I can’t catch up on. Did it go well with Marcus and Chris?”

  Finished with his belated meal, Grant slowly reclined to his side of the couch with Lucy on his chest. “As well as it could have. Marcus was intrigued by the crap Wayne stimulated on the news. Merely wanted an update and I told him what I could. Chris canceled on me last minute.”

  “Not a productive day then, huh?” Roxie said. She quietly collected and crushed all the wrappers and containers from the food.

  “For me or you?” he teased.

  She shot him a beady glare as she threw the trash away. When she came back to the couch, she slumped down. First, she grabbed his bent legs and straightened them so his feet were on her lap. Then she removed his shoes and commenced a foot rub.

  He murmured a groan.

  “Not too loud. Don’t wake her.” Roxie winked as she rubbed. “How the hell you wear those all day…” She shook her head. “And I’d say you accomplished more than me. You got her to nap. Some days, it seems next to impossible.”

  Her compliment soothed him even more than her manual ministrations on the soles of his feet. Yeah, he had gotten Lucy to sleep. On his own. Well, Google helped, and several parenting websites. But he’d done it.

  “Thanks for trusting me with her.”

  She studied him for a moment. “There’s not much I wouldn’t trust you with, Grant.”

  Was that a delayed confession to what had happened between them that morning? Because, if he recalled, she was the one to insist on only one thing between them. A boss-to-assistant bond.

  “Likewise,” he answered. He sat up, holding Lucy, and put his free arm around Roxie’s shoulders. After he pulled her close, tucked into his side, they slouched together and set their feet on the coffee table. “So what is going on with Sophia?”

  A deep sigh heaved from her lips as she rubbed Lucy’s back. “Pneumonia. Likely a complication from the respiratory infection she had a month ago. Seems she’s always prone.”

  “Contagious?”

  “Yes. I told her to go ahead and stay home. I’m going to get a hotel for me and Lucy for the night.” She lowered her leg to flick a foot toward the pile of bags on the floor. “Already packed. That helps.”

  “That’s ridiculous. Come to my place. There’s plenty of room for Lucy,” he said. “We could catch up on today’s missed work.”

  Her gaze strayed to his bare biceps, moved to her sleeping daughter, and then stuck on his face. “Not a good idea.”

  “Your workplace hang-up is effectively a moot point, Rox.” He puffed his chest up, emphasizing Lucy’s presence on him. “I can assure you I’ve never changed an assistant’s child’s diaper before.”

  “So that makes you…?”

  “I don’t know, Roxie. I’m still your boss. But I’m also… Just let me in.” He willed her to meet his eyes. “Please?”

  How much lower could he go? Begging? He was asking her nicely to simply give him a chance. Tara held power over him in a malicious manner. But Roxie’s grip on him? She was deep under his skin. If she could stand by her confession of trusting him with Lucy, what remained?

  “I can’t believe it. You actually said the magic word.” She smirked as she gently gathered Lucy from his chest. “How about we head out of here now then? If it’s going to be the three of us, may as well work away from any interferences with Tara.”

  “Was that a yes?” he asked as he stood and stretched.

  “Lead the way.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  An hour later, Roxie followed Grant into his apartment. He’d resumed his packhorse role, hauling their carry-ons from the night before, both their laptop cases, her tote, Lucy’s pack-n-play, the diaper bag, and a package of takeout for dinner.

  In the finely tailored suits he wore daily, it was obvious to the world he was a specimen of fine physique. Watching him carry a carload of junk without breaking a sweat or panting a breath, she admired his fitness.

  He left the bulk of it on the floor—except their dinner—and she let herself be mesmerized by the play of mus
cles flexing in his back.

  It was one treat to check him out fully clothed, day in and day out. And when she’d come into the pool room in Miami, she’d seen him nearly in the buff. But returning to the offices and catching him rocking Lucy on his chest, shirtless…it was an unprecedented twist of her hormones.

  Was that the most basic of, me woman, you man, I want to carry your offspring dynamics, or what? Seeing him with her daughter was hands down the sexiest she could ever imagine him. So strong, firm, and dependable, but also gentle and giving.

  “Earth to Roxie.”

  She snapped out of her memory lane of appreciation and faced him. He’d already set the cartons of food on the table and she forced herself into action. After she set Lucy on the carpeted floor in front of the TV, she opened and shook out the pack-n-play. With Lucy secured, she and Grant dug into the Italian takeout. Even though they’d recently eaten their tardy lunch, they both welcomed the food. They hadn’t exactly had breakfast that morning either.

  “Can you grab some more paper towels?” Grant asked when she got out of her seat to tend to Lucy’s fussing sounds.

  Roxie hadn’t spent much time at Grant’s home, but she’d stopped in frequently enough to orient herself with its items. Dropping off his dry cleaning, running over to grab a forgotten thumb drive or file, signing for oddball deliveries. His great room was spacious enough for them to dine, to keep an eye on Lucy, and to spread out their paperwork on the counter between the kitchen area and the living space.

  As she passed him and glanced at the document full of numbers on the screen of her laptop, she revisited a thought she’d had on the plane that morning. An idea that seemed too trivial to mention at the time. Since it seemed they were doing nothing but rerunning over the same material, she gave voice to her musings.

  “So it’s still a money approach, according to you?” she said as she handed him the paper towels and then took her seat again.

  Grant almost smiled as he wiped his mouth. “Not finding the topic of Wayne and Kylie’s relationship interesting?”

  “Not much to it. They have a chronic condition of sleeping with each other. Period. I had a thought.”

  He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand, his elbow on the granite countertop. His glasses on his nose, he struck her as every bit of the sexy nerd with his steely, hot gaze.