Heart Shaped Spotlight

by Haley Travis

  I typed quickly before I could stress myself out.

  Me: Okay, please give me her number.

  Nate: Wow, I’m impressed.

  Me: ?

  Nate: Going out to have dinner with a stranger might make some people anxious.

  Me: Honestly, I'm just going to ply her with alcohol and find out all of your dirty secrets.

  Nate: Good idea. You know that I’m an open book for you.

  Me: There is some joke in there about the book of our lives having seven years worth of pages stuck together, but I'm too tired to find a poetic way to say it.

  Nate: Awww. That is super adorable.

  Me: Well, I guess I'm going to go get ready for my date, if she’s available. Have a good night.

  Nate: I just know you'll have an amazing time.

  He sent me Lora's number, and I fired off a text asking if she was interested. It sounded like Nate had already contacted her, and we agreed to meet at the restaurant at seven. Luckily it was only a few blocks away, so that I could walk.

  As I approached the glamorous looking cream and gold restaurant façade, I saw a fairly short girl with half green and half black hair. It was parted in the center between the colors, swinging in a bob just under her chin.

  As she turned toward me, there was no way I couldn't notice her positively enormous breasts. They balanced out her ample hips, giving her the figure of a curvy animated doll. Instead of making her look overtly sexy, she seemed more like a sweet earth mother type. I grinned at her in surprise.

  "Trisha!" she squealed, running toward me. Then she froze. "I'm a hugger. Is that alright?" I nodded, then she threw her arms around me. Hugging her back, I felt almost instantly giddy.

  "I can't believe I'm finally meeting you," she grinned, actually bouncing up and down. “I feel like I already know you, in an abstract way."

  "Then you'll have to tell me all about yourself to start us off," I laughed.

  We walked into the restaurant, which was even fancier than I had expected. Warren must have spoken with the owner at length. I hadn't thought to call ahead to check the reservation, but my name was on the list, and we were set up instantly at a beautiful table in the front window.

  Wine, appetizers, and sparkling water appeared and disappeared before us in waves while I learned about Lora’s degree in medieval history, her jobs as a serving wench at various Renaissance fairs, and her love of camping.

  Then our dinners arrived, and we needed a moment of silence for the beautiful food sculptures on our plates.

  "Damn," Lora whispered, somehow making the word contain at least ten syllables. "How did you set this up?"

  I gave her the shortest explanation of this meal being a thank you note.

  Lora's head cocked to the green side, causing her hair to swing. "It's so funny that you ended up working in radio, and Nate ended up working in music."

  "Yeah," I shrugged.

  "You don't think that's a sign?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

  "I don't really believe in signs," I shrugged. "More like a happy accident?"

  She shook her head, her smile accented by her purple lipstick that was somehow still on. "I don't know, it certainly sounds like you two were meant to be."

  "So I take it Nate has mentioned me a few times?" I asked cautiously.

  She laughed. "If by a few times, you mean every single day from the second I met him." Lora looked into my eyes, then around them. "Why does that make you frown?"

  "I don't know. I don't like the thought of him having wasted so much energy thinking about me. I try to look at the positive side of things, so I guess he got some good songs out of it. But what if he never found me? He wasn't so obsessed that he would have wasted his entire life, right?"

  Lora leaned forward. "I am not telling you this," she said emphatically, pointing her finger at me like a strict teacher. Then she softened. "We made a deal a month ago. I made him agree to wait three days after the last show of the contest, then move on with his life." My loud sigh of relief apparently amused her. "You like the thought of him moving on?"

  "No. Well, yes. I'm glad there was a plan in place. Do you know what I mean?"

  "Yeah. It was getting a little like a fairytale obsession. For the record, we teased him mercilessly about it."

  I nodded very seriously. "Well, that was likely for the best."

  Her easy smile was contagious. “You know, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect with you. I try to have no expectations so that I’m never disappointed. But after hearing about how amazing you are, I was totally prepared to be underwhelmed. I’m not.”

  “Wow. Um, thank you. I always feel like I don’t make much of an impression.”

  “Ah, you need a big sister ass kick.” She took a sip of wine. “Alright, coming up.”

  Lora laced her fingers in front of her, cracking her knuckles until I flinched and laughed. “You were sent to another city to set up their systems. That means that you’re one of the best at what you do.”

  I shrugged, but she snapped her fingers in my face. “You say, ‘yes’,” she demanded.

  Her ridiculous bullying was hilarious. “Okay. Yes.”

  “You’re smart, determined, and hard-working.”

  My shoulders tightened, but I didn’t want her to snap again and draw attention to our table. “Yes.”

  “You’re gorgeous, but not snotty about it. When you’re not fidgeting nervously, you’re very graceful.”

  I hesitated, but she raised her thumb and middle finger. “Yes?”

  “You’d be an amazing girlfriend for any guy, because you’re sweet, and you seem to enjoy listening to people.”

  “Yes?”

  “Okay, I’ll chill,” she giggled. “But I’m sure your boyfriends over the years have told you you’re a catch, right?”

  My gaze dropped to my water glass, and I took a sip while desperately trying to figure out which excuse would help me change the subject.

  Lora exhaled heavily. “Nate’s the only boyfriend you’ve ever had?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hmm.” Her silver nails tapped lightly on the tablecloth. “Were you hoping to find him again?”

  “No. I mean, I didn’t…” I sighed. “Okay, this is just between us, right? Because this is going to actually hurt to say out loud.”

  Lora nodded, lifting her glass. “I swear on my wine.”

  I snort-laughed , but continued. “Nate was the first person to really listen to me, and never judge me. He made me feel like it was okay to be who I was. My father was truly an asshole, always ordering me around, trying to shove me into business courses so that I could become an office assistant. My mother was practically invisible, only obeying dad’s commands.”

  “You were under his thumb,” Lora said softly, nodding.

  “Yeah. But Nate made me feel like it was okay to nerd out and learn as much as I could about computers. Even though he didn’t understand it at all, he gave me space. He respected me. He never judged me. He treated me like… like he was honored to be near me. I couldn’t even believe it.”

  Lora’s bottom lip stuck out. “I’m melting from the cuteness,” she said, wide-eyed.

  “So I guess I didn’t want to bother putting myself out there with some guy who was… you know. Just some guy. If nobody incredibly special happened along, I’d rather be alone.”

  “But he's back in your life now,” she said. “You must be over the moon.”

  “I am. I just hope that he doesn’t have expectations I’ll never live up to.”

  Her hair swung under her chin as she nodded. “I don’t think he does. You guys need some quality hangout time, I think. Many hours just lounging around, cooking, interrupting movies to tell stories, that sort of thing. My prediction is that in a couple of months, you’ll settle in.”

  “I hope you’re right.”

  Lora raised her chin, lifting her glass. “The wine and I are rarely wrong.” We laughed together, as the server cleared our glasses, suggest
ing we switch to a sweeter wine for dessert.

  “That was an unbelievably decadent meal,” I said with a sigh. “But I think we’d better test out the desserts anyway. For research purposes, of course.”

  Lora nodded quite seriously. “I agree. It would be completely irresponsible of us not to get the full experience.”

  Without even ordering, the server brought us a platter of two-bite chocolate brownies, fruit dipped in chocolate, baby lemon tarts, and more. As soon as he was a few steps away, Lora stared at me, dramatically mouthing the words, "Holy shit." She was so immediately likable that I sort of felt ashamed at having been nervous to meet her.

  As if she had read my mind, Lora said, "Nate mentioned that you're sort of quiet. Sometimes shy. Are you just that way with men?"

  I popped a miniature pumpkin pie into my mouth to give me a moment to think. "No, not just men. Everyone who is a stranger."

  She nodded, taking a sip of wine. "But you seem absolutely fine with me. Are you putting on a brave face, but you’re all jumpy inside?"

  Lora seemed genuinely interested, and her openness to talk about it was a huge relief.

  "I've always been a bit nervous around new people, but it also really bothers me when I don't have any control over the situation. When I'm forced to speak with a stranger, I feel really helpless and out of my element. Once I get chatting and discover a couple of points of conversation we have in common, I unclench."

  Lora nodded thoughtfully. "It's good that you can fake your way through it. I know that some people can't even leave their homes." She stared into space for a second. “With me, I get super nervous in very quiet places. Or places where you have to behave in a strict way, like a wedding."

  I laughed. "No offense, but I can't imagine you being scared in any situation."

  She smiled. "Everyone has something. Nate is terrified of bees."

  "What?" I vaguely recalled him saving me from a spider way back when.

  "Yeah, he got stung between two fingers a couple of years ago, and it got infected. A nurse had to dig out the stinger with a needle or something. Apparently it creeped him right out, and he hasn't been the same."

  "That is so weird." Taking a long sip of water, I looked out at the street lights, feeling strange talking about Nate at all.

  "Everyone has some unusual glitches in their personality," Lora said. "Most people wouldn't delay the start of their new band for a couple of months to go on national TV to find their high school girlfriend. You know, for example," she laughed.

  "Wait, what?"

  Her face fell. "Shit. You didn't realize that's the main reason he went on the show?” I stared at her blankly.

  “Yeah,” she continued. “He told his manager it was for publicity for the new band, and he was really excited about the love song format, and all that rot. But he was looking for you. His website had a huge pink button at the top begging people to email Dave if they had any information on his Trisha."

  My hands began to visibly shake, and I couldn't stop them. Only stare at them. My chest was a cavern, echoing from the sound of a distant slow thumping heartbeat.

  "Maybe he's overly romantic, " Lora said softly, "But there aren't many guys who would go to those lengths for someone." She reached out to place her hand over my shaking fingers on the table. "Take a breath," she suggested. "It shouldn't be scary that he really loves you."

  It wasn’t the amount of his love that frightened me. It was that it hadn’t dimmed at all, even when I wasn’t there. No woman could live up to expectations that had been built up for seven straight years, when she’d had no idea about it.

  I’d always been insecure around how Nate was so much more desirable in every possible way. He was gorgeous, talented, and larger than life. Did I want to devote my entire life to trying to keep up to him, and still always lagging behind?

  With a relationship this unbalanced, was there any chance it could ever even out?

  Chapter Sixteen ~ Nate

  * Vanilla and Girl *

  Lugging my suitcase into yet another hotel room, I was glad to be in Vancouver. Looking around at the cream and brass fixtures, the tranquil nature photos on the wall, and the soothing corporate blue bedspread, I knew I’d never get sick of hotels. Somehow they’re just amusing in the way they’re designed to be completely inoffensive.

  Trisha had told me which hotel she was staying in, so I was able to get booked there as well. Naturally, I was hoping that I’d end up staying in her room, but the last thing I could do was make assumptions right now.

  Knowing that she didn’t quite trust our relationship yet was a ghost-like shadow floating around the back of my mind. She had always taken her time coming to terms with things. I couldn’t stop the disappointment that I wasn’t the exception.

  Spending as much time as possible together was the best plan. Her body definitely reacted to mine. Pheromones, lust, understanding – whatever it was, it was right. Once we settled into that feeling, she’d come around.

  I didn’t bother unpacking, just opened my suitcase on the extra bed. Yanking off my t-shirt, I went to scrub my face and brush my teeth before pulling a fresh shirt on. My hand darted for my phone, eager to hit those buttons.

  “Hello?” Trisha’s voice echoed as if she was in the washroom.

  “Hey, gorgeous. Do you have brunch plans?”

  There was a split second of silence, then a tiny muffled gasp. “You’re here already, aren’t you?”

  “The power of coffee compels me. What room are you in?”

  “You’re in this hotel?”

  “Yeah. Apparently they let any old musician in here. What room?”

  “I just got out of the shower. But, um, I’m in eight eleven.”

  “Be there in ten minutes.”

  I forced myself to wait nine minutes, then walked slowly to the elevator, and even slower down the hall to her room. I had barely tapped when she flung her door open.

  Damn. Trisha was an absolute dream in a playful black dress with large hand-drawn looking red flowers. Her glossy hair was still slightly damp, and she was wearing just a bit of eyeliner.

  My arm instantly snaked out to wrap around her waist, pulling her against me. “You’re always hot, but I think I like you in makeup,” I grinned.

  “Now that I’m allowed to wear it,” she smiled.

  “No lipstick was a good idea,” I said just before I kissed her. Her softness instantly melted my spine, and the door slammed shut as I pressed her against the wall, entwining our fingers and holding her hands over her head.

  From the way she stretched up to me, moaning into my mouth, I knew she needed exactly what I did. After waiting so long, my body was screaming to take her now. Her bed was right there. Yet I still didn’t know how much she was ready for.

  Tearing my lips from her, I murmured, “You’re lucky we have to be somewhere in twenty minutes, or I’d be pulling off your pretty dress.”

  Her eyes were softly glazed. Knowing that she wanted me made me feel like the king of the universe.

  ***

  Walking toward the huge corner table at my favorite Vancouver diner with Trisha's hand in mine, I thought that my heart was going to explode.

  I was still riding the high of having accomplished the strange distinction of winning that contest. I was thrilled that the band members I wanted to get together for so long had finally all been available, and were now a team. And now they were all going to meet the love of my life, my sweet gorgeous…

  "Trisha!" Lora squealed, jumping up and hugging the daylights out of her. "Thanks again for that insane dinner last night. I still can't believe that happened."

  I was surprised to see Trisha hug her back without a trace of shyness. "I'm so glad that you were able to come," she said. "Nobody should eat that much on their own. It just wouldn't be civilized."

  The girls were laughing like old friends, which made my heart swell even more. "Trisha," I said as she squeezed into the booth beside Lora, "This is Kevin our
lead guitarist, and Doug the drummer." They shook her hand as she flashed them a brilliant smile.

  "What do you know, she's real," Doug said.

  "Did you really think Nate would imagine himself an old girlfriend?" Kevin asked.

  "Well, we can never be sure," Doug said, turning to Kevin as if the rest of us weren't even here. "The thing about lead singers is that all of their fancy breathing can sometimes deplete the oxygen to the brain. It's entirely possible that she was a carbon monoxide induced hallucination."

  "I suppose you could be right," Kevin said absolutely seriously. "Many rock stars have their brains addled with drugs. Perhaps Nate overdid it on the coffee and really did himself in."