Keeping Her Close

by Carol Ross

  She’d finally found the right guy, and she couldn’t have him. Not like she wanted. Could she open this can of worms labeled “Owen” and only let part of them spill out? She knew instinctively that if she wanted to have a romantic future with Kyle, that might not be possible. But telling him could ruin everything, too. And the friendship they’d built already meant so much to her. What she’d said to him was true. Trust was everything, and aside from her dad, she didn’t have anyone in her life she could trust. Despite what she’d been through in the past, she wanted to trust him. But that was the problem, wanting and having were two different things. She needed to be sure before this went any further. Because if it did, she’d have to tell him. She didn’t want a relationship that wasn’t based on honesty.

  Then another thought occurred to her, chilling her enthusiasm considerably. What if she told him and he didn’t believe her? She didn’t have any proof. She trusted him, but did he trust her?

  Gathering her thoughts, reining in her discouragement and trying to deal with reality, Harper took time helping herself to a cup of coffee. When she turned around, she discovered Rhys behind her. Kyle strolled around the living room beyond, examining the artwork and photos arranged on the walls.

  Harper smiled. “Your home is incredible. The craftsmanship is breathtaking.”

  “Thank you,” he said. Harper couldn’t help but notice the pride in his tone, the twinkle in his eye. He seemed like such a nice guy. “When I built it, I knew I’d be spending a lot of time here so I wanted to make it as perfect as I could. Bring the ocean inside, so to speak.”

  “Well done. I can’t imagine anyone not being happy here.”

  Rhys’s smile faded, the eye sparkle dimmed and Harper knew there was some underlying pain there. What was this guy’s story? A hundred questions ticked through her mind, all of them too personal. Why did he secret himself away here all the time? Why didn’t he socialize in the community? There was no way she was going to risk damaging this potential acquaintance by being intrusive.

  Deciding to steer the subject back around to the original topic that he clearly enjoyed discussing, she asked, “Are you going to tell me about these beams now?”

  It worked. Moving around her, Rhys refilled his mug and then leaned a hip against the counter. “The Picot Mansion used to be two mansions. A mansion and a smaller guest mansion, that’s the one that’s still there.” Pointing, he explained, “These beams were recycled from the original larger mansion.”

  “So, you’re telling me there was another mansion even bigger than the one that’s there now? What happened to it?” she asked, already intrigued. “How did you get the beams?”

  “Hold on there,” he said, chuckling. “Good questions. Marcus Picot emigrated from France and made a fortune in logging and lumber. After scouting the area around Mount Rainier, he fell in love with that extraordinary piece of property, which he purchased for his country estate. He then logged a portion of the land and used the trees to construct two giant houses. A larger home for him and his family and a smaller house for guests.”

  Harper felt herself frowning because there was only one Picot Mansion. She was sure of that.

  Rhys’s smile blossomed slowly like he knew what she was thinking. “Not long after they moved in, Marcus caught his wife cheating with his secretary. Angry and heartbroken, he shipped her back to France. He didn’t want the house anymore, nor did he want to look at it. So he proceeded to disassemble the larger structure piece by piece. But as an aficionado of wood, he couldn’t bear to destroy the beams. He kept them in storage where they sat for more than a hundred years.”

  “Wow. So he remained there on the estate?”

  “Yes, Marcus moved into the smaller guesthouse with the two children he had from his first marriage. That’s the house that’s now known as the Picot Mansion.”

  “Fascinating. What happened to the secretary?”

  “Good question.” Rhys grinned. “Rumor has it, Marcus sent him on a seven-year sojourn to the Yukon to scout for lumber, but I’ve never been able to confirm that.”

  Harper laughed. “The small house is so incredible. I can’t even imagine what the larger house was like. How is it that I never ran across this story when I researched the place?”

  Cocking his head to one side, he gave her an enigmatic smirk. “Ah, well, you know what they say, the best stuff never makes it into the history books.”

  “So, how do you know about it?”

  “Family history. Marcus Picot was my great-great-grandfather. My family still owns the estate.”

  “You should write a book, a history of the house, or even your family. I know a photographer who’d help you out.”

  Rhys nodded, seemingly pleased that she’d enjoyed the story.

  Kyle said, “Hey, Harper, come here a sec.”

  Harper crossed the room to where Kyle now stood in front of a large framed photo. Four men in uniform posed before an enormous submarine.

  Kyle pointed from left to right. “That’s my dad, William Frasier, Rhys’s dad, Thomas McGrath, Rear Admiral Wilhausen, and you probably recognize our former president.”

  “Holy cow. That’s so cool.”

  Next to that photo was a smaller one of Rhys in combat gear flanked by three men in matching attire. Facing Rhys, she said, “I didn’t realize you’d served, as well?”

  “Yep, also a SEAL.” Tossing a meaningful glance at Kyle, he added, “A pipe hitter, like Kyle.”

  As Harper thanked him for his service, she realized she knew that term from Owen. A pipe hitter, a person who went to extremes to get a job done. Her heart cooled inside her chest. A reminder that she needed to be very careful where this tight brotherhood was concerned.

  Due to their common military experience, Kyle and Rhys already seemed like old pals. With nearly a decade of that same unity, Kyle and Owen had shared a bond that she could never fully comprehend. And that’s when she made a decision; while her feelings for Kyle felt real and intense, they also might be snowballing out of control. She couldn’t do this again. She couldn’t let her emotions control her. She’d done way too much of that in the past. She needed to slow down and think this through. Every time she’d let her guard down and trusted a man, it had turned out badly. She didn’t think her heart could withstand it again. Especially not from Kyle.

  * * *

  AFTER RHYS TOLD them how cool it was at the bottom of the stairs “suspended only feet above the raw power of the ocean,” of course, Harper wanted to check it out. Rhys reported that he’d recently replaced both the stairs and the landing. The metal structure looked and felt sound, so Kyle agreed. But like a walk to the gallows, he spent the descent in torment, working up his “we can’t do this” speech. He was not great at sharing his feelings under the best of circumstances; now he had to lie about his feelings when he didn’t want to. Because a romance could not happen between him and Harper no matter how much he wished it could.

  He needed to figure out a way to fix this, mitigate whatever damage had been done. And fast.

  Once they reached the bottom, he was still gathering both his words and his courage when Harper faced him and blurted, “Kyle, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

  “Harper, I—”

  With one hand gripping the metal railing, she raised the other palm up and out to cut him off. “Let me finish, before I can’t, okay?” At his nod she went on, “I think I let my gratitude toward you and my...warm feelings cloud my judgment. The thing is, I have a history of rushing into relationships. No, it’s not even that. It’s more that I get into the wrong relationships. I, um, let people use me. I mean, I don’t let them, but they do it...”

  Pausing for a few breaths, she seemed to think things over before continuing, “Example, I let my high school boyfriend borrow my car, and then I caught him cheating on me with another girl. Inside the car. Then there was
my boyfriend in college, Evan. I thought I was in love with him! We were discussing marriage when I caught him stealing from me. Literally, taking money from my wallet. There was another guy, an artist. I mean, artists are supposed to be sweet and sensitive, right? Not this guy. He...” She waved a hand as if brushing away a bad memory. “Never mind, you don’t need all the details.” Then she sort of deflated, shoulders slumping, eyes welling with tears. “And then... Owen.”

  Blinking rapidly, she turned toward the ocean. It took every bit of Kyle’s willpower not to go to her and wrap his arms around her.

  A few deep fortifying breaths later, she faced him again. “The point I’m making, inelegantly I realize, is that my judgment is off. It’s like, if I like someone and they like me, that should be enough. Enough to trust them and know that they won’t hurt me or use me. But now I realize, it’s not. Not at all. Because people will...” With a bitter laugh, she added, “That vetting thing you’ve been talking about is a very good idea. And I hope this doesn’t sound too cheesy, but I really value your friendship. I’m not ready to risk that.”

  Kyle was absolutely certain that he’d never felt worse in his life. He wanted to jump into the frigid ocean water and swim away from this kind, sweet, beautiful woman before he hurt her, too. Another part of him wanted to stay, to hug her and protect her, and show her that there was a man who wanted her for all the right reasons. Which he did. But she wouldn’t see it that way because he was using her, too.

  Then he thought about Owen. And Sheila. Little Mattie. He wanted to help fix that, too. Sheila needed that life insurance money. Mattie no longer had a father. At the very least, she deserved to grow up believing her dad was a hero. He owed it to Owen to get the truth.

  Heart aching, he buried his own desire, and said, “I understand. Friends is good.” He paused to add a resigned smile. “I’m not sorry you kissed me though. But under the circumstances of my employment with you, getting romantically involved is probably not a good idea.”

  Relief and maybe a bit of disappointment flashed across her face.

  For added insurance, he forced himself to add, “Plus, I’m not sure I could get past the fact that you were Owen’s...”

  Harper looked away again, but not fast enough. Curiosity had him biting his tongue. He didn’t want to push her and make her suspicious, but he recognized anger when he saw it. And he couldn’t help wondering where it was coming from.

  * * *

  “NOW GRAB MY HAND. Firmly. That’s right. And twist. Good job, Harper!”

  Kyle watched martial arts expert and instructor Terry Hennessy give Harper her second self-defense lesson. Roughly half the lower floor of Harper’s house consisted of a large open-style family room. One end contained a bar and a gorgeous vintage pool table. The other side was a sitting area where Kyle had moved the furniture against the walls to give them plenty of space. Currently, he was seated in an easy chair in the corner. What should be giving him a sense of comfort and satisfaction was instead tying his stomach in knots.

  Terry told Harper, “Now jab like I showed you. You’re not going to hurt me, I promise.”

  Harper threw a punch and let out a little shriek as Terry intercepted her fisted hand in his open palm. She seemed to be enjoying the lessons, which only made matters worse.

  They shared a laugh. “Nice,” Terry gushed. “If I hadn’t known that was coming, I’d be on the ground right now.”

  Why was Terry still holding on to her hand? Kyle didn’t like the way he was grinning down at her either. The man needed to do his job and quit gawking at his student.

  “I know you’re just saying that to make me feel good about myself,” Harper countered.

  “No, I’m—”

  Harper interrupted with a breezy wave. “It’s fine. I’m totally okay with it. Flatter away.”

  Terry laughed, and the sound was an annoying grind in Kyle’s ears. “You’re right that I’m not above doing that. But I promise, I’m not flattering you. You’re picking up on this very quickly.”

  Kyle felt the mass of knots tighten even though Terry was right; Harper was doing very well. He, on the other hand, felt like he was being tortured. When he’d arranged these lessons, it had seemed like a brilliant solution. Teaching her himself would require touching her and touching her was not a good idea. A rationale underscored at Rhys’s a few days prior. The unanticipated consequences, however, were far worse. Because now he had to watch some other man touch her, which Terry seemed only too eager to do.

  These last few days had been difficult. Instead of getting better, the “friends” situation was only growing more challenging. Every time he looked at her, he thought about that kiss. He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to kiss her whenever he wanted to. Like now, for example. Right after he took Terry down and tossed him out the door.

  “Let me show you.” Kyle felt himself scowl as Terry positioned Harper’s arms crisscross over her chest, and then kept his hands over hers for far too long.

  Kyle had met Terry through Josh. The two of them had gone to high school together. Also former military, Terry had served eight years in the army.

  Kyle pulled out his phone and fired off a text to Josh: Hey, is your friend Terry single?

  Tapping a toe, he impatiently waited for Josh to respond.

  “Now,” Terry said, “I’m going to approach you from behind. I’ll grab you, and I want you to...”

  Josh responded immediately. Yes, and he’s a total smooth dog. I’ve never seen anyone as good with the ladies as he is. Except maybe Owen.

  Kyle shot to his feet, knocking the coffee table with his knee in the process. The sound was inordinately loud in the spacious room. Terry and Harper both stopped what they were doing to glance his way.

  “Okay, that’s enough for today. Thanks, Terry.”

  “Are you sure?” Terry glanced at the fancy fitness tracker on his wrist. “According to my time, we’ve still got another fifteen minutes.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll review with her and show her the next series of moves.” Kyle looked at Harper. “Harper, we need to get going.”

  “We do?” Harper swiped a hand across her brow.

  “Uh, yeah. We have that other commitment this afternoon. Don’t forget your camera bag.”

  * * *

  A SLIGHTLY OUT-OF-BREATH Harper placed her equipment in the back of the SUV and got into the passenger seat. Kyle had the SUV running. She’d barely had time to wipe off her sweat and change clothes. She’d double-checked, there was nothing on her calendar until later this afternoon. What had she forgotten?

  “Where’s the fire?” she asked an impatient-looking Kyle, his expression reminding her of the grumpy guy she’d first hired.

  “We promised Levi and Laney we’d go to their track meet this afternoon, remember?”

  Harper did remember. That was the only thing she had on her schedule. She’d offered to take photos of the kids and the team. Frowning at the time on her phone, she calculated, “But that’s not for another two-plus hours.”

  “Yeah, but I thought we should probably grab something to eat beforehand.”

  “Oh.” Harper glanced over at him. Hands tight on the steering wheel, she wondered if he was trying to strangle the life out of it. Clearly, he was worked up about something. Harper stared out the window thinking this over. The last few days had been a little tense for her, trying to settle for a platonic closeness. Looking at the guy and not wanting to kiss him and touch him was a challenge, sure, but they’d both committed to friendship. And Kyle was shaping up to be a good friend, maybe the best she’d ever had. So what was up?

  Today, they’d spent the morning on the beach, reviewed some safety lessons, then she’d done some editing until... Until her martial arts lesson. Hmm. Was it her imagination or had he seemed a little short with Terry?

  “How do you think the session went tod
ay?”

  “Fine.”

  “You can be honest, I’m hopeless, right? I’ve never been much of an athlete.”

  “No, Harper...” He let out a sigh as if the topic pained him. “It’s not you. Terry was right. You’re catching on quickly.”

  “Well, what, then?”

  “I, um, I don’t think... I don’t think Terry is the right instructor for you. I’ll take over your lessons.” An almost pained expression crossed his face.

  Huh. Harper stared at his profile, wondering. Waiting for him to explain. When no further rationale was offered, she turned over the possibilities in her mind; Terry was ineffective. Absolutely not true as she’d learned a ton. Maybe the track meet was being held at another school instead of home like she’d thought and they needed the extra travel time.

  She asked, “Is the meet at home?”

  “Yeah, at the high school,” Kyle answered, still seeming distracted.

  She studied his profile, noting his furrowed brow, the tightness around his jaw, the taut muscles of his neck. Tension emanated from him, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was possible that he was jealous? The thought sent a jolt of longing through her. Terry did seem to be interested in her beyond the teacher-student relationship. Before today’s lesson, he’d suggested they meet for coffee and a chat. Had Kyle heard that?

  Only one way to find out. “So, have you vetted him?”

  “Who, Terry? Of course,” he fired back quickly, tossing a fresh scowl her way. “Why?”

  “Just wondering.”

  “Did he ask you out?”

  There was a tone there, for sure. “Yes, sort of. I mean, he offered to buy me coffee and talk about martial arts stuff.”

  “Martial arts stuff?” Kyle repeated, with not a small dose of disbelieving sarcasm.

  “Yeah, he said he would show me some websites and YouTube videos where I could read up on it and get extra practice.”