New Beginnings Spring 20 Book Box Set

by Hope Sinclair

  She tried to keep her eyes low and avoid staring, but she couldn’t help herself. She wanted to observe Hunter, learn all she could about him; try to decipher the thoughts that were passing through his mind, behind that conflicted expression he wore on his face.

  Dinner was served, and polite conversation was made between the Jordans and the Oakleys. Haley forced herself to listen attentively, grateful for the distraction that took her mind -- and eyes -- off of Hunter.

  “Tell us, Miss Douglas,” Ethel said, turning her attention suddenly to Haley, “About your life back east.”

  The question came just after Haley had slipped her fork into her mouth, and she blushed as she quickly finished chewing and swallowed the too-hot mouthful. Then she said:

  “Well, there’s not much to tell, I’m afraid. I lived in Georgetown, Maryland and worked as an apprentice in my aunt’s bakery--”

  “And what about your parents?” Ethel asked.

  Haley felt her brow furrow slightly, and she decided almost at once that she didn’t care much for Ethel. There was a certain crassness about her; a lack of decorum that she wasn’t accustomed to. It was the sort of rugged, uncultured demeanor she associated with women of the west.

  “They perished when I was quite young, unfortunately,” she said quietly, helping herself to a sip of water. The water was warm, and it did little to ease the prickly scorched sensation at the back of her throat leftover from swallowing the hot food.

  “That’s terribly tragic,” Ethel remarked. “How did it happen?”

  “Ethel,” Thomas said, his voice friendly yet stern. “That’s quite enough. Let’s not make our guest feel uncomfortable.”

  “I’m just being friendly,” Ethel frowned. “She’s going to be family soon, I’d like to know all about her!”

  “You’ll have to forgive Ethel,” Thomas said, this time to Haley. “She was born here in Montana, so she’s very curious about the life out east that you’ve left behind.”

  “That’s quite alright,” Haley said, forcing a smile but refusing to make eye contact with the woman who would soon be her sister-in-law.

  “So you worked in a bakery,” Thomas said, attempting to salvage the conversation. “I trust that means that the Oakley homestead will be kept in good supply of baked breads.”

  “Of course,” Haley smiled again, and this time the strain in her face burned even hotter. When she had left her aunt’s bakery to move out west, she had decided that she was leaving behind the craft of breadmaking. If she never had to bake again, she wouldn’t be sorry.

  “You’ll have to be careful,” Hunter said. Haley flicked her head in his direction, surprised to hear him speak after remaining silent throughout most of the meal. “Ethel can be quite territorial of her kitchen.”

  “Well I don’t want to overstep my bounds,” Haley said politely, fighting the urge to frown.

  “Nonsense,” Ethel laughed is a manner that was far too boisterous for a woman. “I could use an assistant.”

  If it had been difficult for Haley to resist frowning before, it now became impossible. There was no question in her mind, now: she really did dislike Ethel, and she certainly had no intention of being her ‘assistant’ in the kitchen. She hadn’t traveled all this way to forge a new life, only to end up under another woman’s thumb in the kitchen.

  “Actually,” Haley said carefully, “I was hoping to teach.” She hadn’t planned on mentioning it; she had thought it would be something she’d suggest in private to her new husband. But now the fear of being trapped in a kitchen with Ethel was too real, and she couldn’t bite her lip or contain the thought any longer.

  “Teaching?” Ethel repeated, making no effort to stop her jaw from dropping. For a woman of her class and demeanor, Haley thought, she had some nerve openly displaying so much indignation.

  “Yes,” Haley nodded. “Claire mentioned there was a school in town, and I thought I could find work as a teacher.”

  “Well you don’t hear that every day,” Thomas said, surprised. “A young woman moves to the wild west, not looking for husband… but for work?”

  Haley blushed, feeling her confidence wither inside her. She should have known better than to bring it up at her first meeting with Hunter… should have known better than to bring it up at all. Now what must he think of her? She didn’t dare glance at him; didn’t dare--

  “I won’t hear of it,” Hunter said flatly.

  Haley’s eyes shot up, meeting his.

  “It’s a man’s duty to support his family,” Hunter continued. “And that’s what I intend to do.”

  Haley looked at the man that would soon be her husband, and she realized she was seeing him through new eyes. He was many things, she decided: handsome, thoughtful, observant… but he was also cold and authoritative.

  And suddenly all the dreams that Haley had envisioned of her new life in Montana darkened.

  FIVE

  Mr. and Mrs. Hunter Oakley were married in a small ceremony at a chapel in town. Haley wore an exquisite silk gown that Claire insisted on gifting her, in addition to a single strand of pearls that had once belonged to her mother, salvaged from the fire.

  The wedding was small and private. Besides the Oakley brothers and Mr. and Mrs. Jordan, the rest of the guests attending were strangers to Haley; people from town that she hadn’t met yet, who looked at her with expressions of wonder, curiosity, and, sometimes, something that looked like pity. She tried to ignore those looks, but it was difficult, and for the first time Haley found herself wondering if she had made a terrible mistake by coming to Montana and agreeing to marry Hunter.

  The service was simple. The preacher delivered a sermon reminding wives to honor and obey their husbands, and reminding husbands to love and honor their wives. Afterwards the organist played and Haley was escorted down the aisle to the altar, where Hunter waited for her.

  Hunter looked down at her with the same sort of glassy sadness in his eyes that Haley had seen the first time they had met.

  The preacher instructed them to join hands, and they did. Then they recited their vows, and though their eyes were locked on one another, Haley couldn’t help but feel that Hunter was a million miles away; seeing everything but her.

  He placed a gold band on her finger that fit too loose, and she did the same. Then the preacher gave them permission to kiss, and they did.

  Hunter’s lips barely grazed hers, brushing so softly and swiftly that she barely felt their softness or warmth on her own before he withdrew.

  And then they were married. Then they were Mr. and Mrs. Hunter Oakley.

  Afterwards there was a celebration at the Oakley Ranch, but many of the wedding guests for one reason or another declined to join the newlyweds. In the end, it was just the Jordans and the Oakleys celebrating at the ranch.

  Ethel prepared a simple meal and baked a cake for the occasion, two tiers tall and dusted with confectioners sugar. Haley had baked far more exquisite cakes at the bakery, and felt a pang of sadness that she immediately suppressed, deciding that it was unfair of her to think such thoughts.

  She tried her best to enjoy the day; to show her gratitude to the Oakleys and to appear blissfully happy with her new husband. But in reality, she felt sad, nervous, and alone.

  Only Claire noticed, and when they found a quiet moment alone, she confided in Haley:

  “It’s hard at first, but you’ll get used to it. And then you’ll be so happy, that you won’t be able to imagine how you ever managed to live your life before marriage.”

  Haley hoped that would be true. Every time she looked at Hunter, he felt more and more like a stranger to her and in truth, she couldn’t imagine her life after marriage. How would this ever feel normal?

  ***

  “Haley, would you go out to the chicken coop and bring me back ten eggs?” Ethel asked. She was perched over the work table in the kitchen, her hair already tied back and ready for a day of cooking. She was clutching a fresh sack of flour to her chest and carr
ied a recipe book under her other arm.

  “Sure,” Haley resigned, carefully closing her mother’s Bible and rising from the armchair where she had been sitting by the fire.

  Winter had come early, settling over Montana with a bitter frost that turned up one morning and never went away. The walls of the house did little to shield them from the howling winds that blew in over the mountains, and the only warmth came from the wood-burning stoves and hearths.

  The days felt long and cold, and for the first time in her life, Haley found herself with nothing to do. Besides helping Ethel in the kitchen, she served little purpose on the ranch. This was a role she was unaccustomed to; when she had worked for her aunt’s bakery, every free moment had to be stolen. Now, she had so much time to herself that she wasn’t sure what to do with it all. She had to force herself to read the Bible slowly, taking in each word and sounding it out in her mind instead of skimming quickly, the way she had between loading batches of bread into the oven in her aunt’s kitchen.

  She set the Bible down beside the hearth, then she pulled on her shawl and grabbed a basket and slipped out the door.

  The morning frost hadn’t thawed yet, and the icy grass crunched beneath her feet as she trudged to the chicken coop to retrieve the eggs.

  One thing she didn’t mind about her new life in Montana was the beauty. The Oakley Ranch was afforded a glorious view of the purple mountains in the distance, nestled at the ridge of rolling acres of trees and grass. Everything was completely different than Maryland; everything was beautiful and spacious.

  It made Haley wish that she could write poems or paint landscapes… anything to capture the beauty that surrounded her. But alas, all she could do was bake. And so that’s what she did.

  The air outside was bitter and the winds were fierce, blowing colder and stronger every day it seemed. Haley opened the latch and swung in the door to the chicken coop, and was welcome by the immediate relief of warmth and shelter from the wind, in exchange for the squawking and clucking of the birds inside.

  She made quick work of collecting the eggs and placing them in her basket, then she wrapped them in a towel to keep them safe from the elements.

  She didn’t rush to return to the house. Instead, she walked through the hen house to a small window that had been cut into the wall, overlooking the flat plane of land that lead to the stables.

  Through the window she could see Hunter carrying bales of hay out to the pasture, then using a pitchfork to spread it over the grounds.

  Much like the cold front that had blown over Montana, the cold tension between the newlyweds showed little signs of thawing. Haley felt simultaneously intrigued and attracted to her new husband, but also decidedly distant.

  It wasn’t entirely her choice. Rather, it was Mr. Oakley who proved intent on keeping a firm distance from his bride.

  Haley watched a while longer, feeling a private sense of longing until she had exceeded the reasonable amount of time that it would take to complete the task of collecting eggs. Ethel would be expecting her back by now. So she gathered the basket closer to her chest and braced herself for the brisk cold air as she trudged back outside and back across the crisp grass towards the farmhouse.

  Ethel was waiting for her back in the kitchen.

  “You do dawdle,” she remarked when Haley came through the door bearing the basket of eggs.

  “Pardon?” Haley asked, surprised by the remark and uncertain if she had heard correctly.

  “You’re slow,” Ethel said. “I’m surprised. Didn’t you say you worked for your aunt’s bakery? How did she ever stand how long it takes for you do anything?”

  Haley felt her cheeks turn a hot shade of red and her eyes fill with the bitter sting of fresh tears.

  It wasn’t the first cruel remark Ethel had delivered, and Haley feared that it wouldn’t be the last. In fact, things only seemed to be getting worse between the two women.

  The insults had begun promptly after the wedding. Of course Haley had spent her first week as Mrs. Hunter Oakley living in a private bedroom at the ranch; she wasn’t keen on sharing a room or a bed with a stranger, even he was technically her husband.

  But private bedroom or not, she had been living on the Oakley Ranch and quickly realized that she had little or no means of avoiding her new sister-in-law. Ethel made plenty sure that Haley was aware of her presence; she chastised, critiqued, and criticized constantly. Everything from Haley’s plain outfits, to the way she wore her hair, to the rugged Bible she read… nothing escaped Ethel’s critical eye unmentioned.

  “I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you,” Haley said flatly, turning her back to Ethel so the other woman couldn’t see the pooling tears in her eyes. It wasn’t worth the effort of confronting Ethel or disputing her statements; what good would it do?

  The situation wasn’t at all what Haley had imagined life out West would be. Not at all.

  SIX

  Just like the start of winter, the first snow came early that year, and once it arrived, Haley knew she had seen the last of the grass and greenery until spring.

  They all woke up one morning to find a fresh blanket of white powder covering the ranch and pastures, extending as far as the eye could see in all directions and glimmering a pale, nearly blinding white in the distant morning sun.

  Haley had never seen snow quite like that before. It snowed in Maryland, of course, but never to such an extent.

  Though Hunter and Thomas didn’t discuss farm business with their young wives, the women were quite aware of the effect that an early winter had on the ranch. If it wasn’t their own commons sense that clued them in, it was the increased sense of tension that had settled over the homestead, obscuring the already strained relations between Haley and Hunter.

  She still wasn’t sharing a bed with her husband, and she suspected that if things continued as they were, she might never share one at all.

  Haley had traveled to Montana to find a husband, but instead all she had found was a rude and abrasive sister-in-law. As the distance between herself and Hunter seemed to increase by the day -- sometimes she questioned whether he remembered that she was on the ranch at all -- she was forced to spend more and more time with Ethel.

  Her sister-in-law’s insults seemed to grow crueler by the day, and the thought of spending the many years to come trapped on the farm with Ethel and her reclusive husband drove Haley to tears on a nightly basis.

  Then one day, everything changed.

  Haley was returning from the milk shed after visiting the newborn calves and filling a small pail with milk for the day’s project -- a dessert recipe that Ethel had gotten from a woman in town and wanted to try.

  As Haley was walking back towards the farmhouse, her feet crunching in the snow, she spotted Ethel and Hunter ahead and she stopped dead in her tracks. Ethel wore a shawl wrapped around her shoulders and was hunched forwards towards Hunter, her body positioned at a distance that was decidedly inappropriate to stand beside another woman’s husband.

  They were exchanging words in heated whispers, their breath collecting in the brisk winter air.

  Haley took a few quiet steps closer and slipped behind a tree, knowing that it would conceal her from their view while also allowing her to watch the scene.

  Every blood vessel in her body was alert and attuned to what was transpiring before her very eyes, and it was only when she felt the wind deposit a scattering of snowdust onto her tongue that she realized her mouth had been hanging agape in shock.

  “You don’t understand the agony I feel,” Hunter was saying. “The pain that all of this brings me.”

  Haley wrinkled her brow, trying to understand… what agony? Why was her husband in pain?

  “This is a problem of your own making, Hunter Oakley,” Ethel said sharply. Haley was caught off guard by how defiant and rude Ethel’s voice seemed; it wasn’t the appropriate tone to take with a man, no less her husband’s brother.

  “I beg to differ,” he said, his eyes dark
and pleading. “I never would have chosen this path, if…”

  “If nothing,” Ethel snipped. “You have a wife now.”

  “I can’t love my wife,” Hunter said. “She isn’t you.”

  It took everything Haley had to avoid tripping out from behind the tree and confronting them; to avoid running into the house, a sobbing and blubbering mess.

  But she was strong; she had years of experience of hiding her emotions. Working under the thumb of her mean and unloving aunt had taught her how to push through, how to hold back the tears and control her own emotions until she could deal with her thoughts privately. She exercised that strength now, though it was more difficult than it ever had been before. Because now, before her very eyes, she was watching all hope and promise of her new life… her new husband… disintegrate right in front of her.

  She waited until Hunter and Ethel parted ways, each going back in their own direction -- Hunter towards the fields, and Ethel towards the farmhouse. Once they had gone, Haley left her hiding spot behind the tree and walked the rest of the way towards the house.

  She wasn’t paying attention to the milk pail at her side anymore… to how the metal handle was digging a deep indent into the soft, fleshy undersides of her fingers, or how her hands had gone frozen and white from the cold, or how with every step a little bit of milk sloshed up from the pail and splashed against the skirt of her dress, soaking through the fabric and immediately stiffening into ice in the winter air.

  When she finally got to the house, Ethel was already at work in the kitchen. Haley joined her, and they got to work.

  Haley wasn’t sure whether Ethel was guilty or just preoccupied with thoughts of her conversation with Hunter, but the woman abandoned her usual routine of tormenting Haley, and the two women worked in a mutual silence that would have otherwise been quite peaceful, were it not for the sinking realization of what exactly had transpired that morning.

  ***

  Haley had the entire day to think about what she had witnessed, and to decide what exactly she wanted to do about it.