Call Me Star Girl

by Louise Beech

Tonight I’m going to scatter your ashes from the bridge.

  Set you free. Give you to the stars. Let you fly.

  51

  STAR GIRL

  THEN, NOW, ALWAYS

  Mum, I’m happy you’re back. I’ve wished for this. Every day. But you don’t need to stay. I talk to you at night. See you in the stars. And that’s enough. You’re better up there where the light never goes. If I let you back into my daytime world you might leave again. So I’ll be with you in the sky.

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Thank you to my daughter Katy for being my saviour during this book and letting me bounce ideas back and forth so much, hiding well her annoyance when I burst into her bedroom to declare yet another light-bulb plot idea. I have her to thank for the doula idea, which was a key part of the book.

  Thank you, as always, to my early readers who helped shape what the novel became: John Marrs for the insightful suggestions and for making me see it how it was supposed to be, Tracy Fenton for her always honest and uncompromising words, and my sisters Claire and Grace, the latter of whom was with me the moment we realised Bob Fracklehurst would be BACK.

  Thank you to Mary Picken, Claire Thinking, Donna Maguire, Sharon Bairden, Vicki Goldman, Lisa Adamson, Joy Kluver, Karen Cole, Leah Moyse, Amanda Duncan, Gemma Wiles, Claire Knight, If Only I Could Read Faster, Alex at Paperback Piano, Vonni Bee, Clair B, Joanna Park, Sandra at Beauty Balm, Hayley at rather Too Fond of Books, Adele at Krafti Reader, Beverley at Beverley Has Read, Anne Williams, Cheryl at CherylMM’s Book Blog, Tamzin at Cramlington Book Club, Nicola at Short Book & Scribes, The Book Whisperer, Jo Robertson, Steph Warren, Silvia at Book after Book, Emma Mitchell, Sonya at A Lover of Books, David at Blue Book Balloon, Melisa at The Book Collective, Beth M of BiblioBeth, Carol Lovekin, Jo at Jaffa Reads Too, Kate at The Quiet Knitterer, Caryl Williams, Marianne at Books Life Things, Maria at Varietats, Jen Lucas, Nicki Murphy, Book-Mark That UK, Stephanie Rothwell, Audio Killer The Bookmark, Zoe at Zooloo’s Book Diary, Karen Cocking, Candi Colbourn, Joanne at Portobello, Eva at Novel Delights, Linda Green, Victoria Colotta, Celeste McCreesh, Karen Mace, Katie Jones, Susan Hampson, Mart or Mr Gravy, Kate at Bantam Bookworm, Adrian Murphy, Ellen Devonport, and the northern bird at Bookish Chat.

  Thanks to all the amazing book and literary groups who invited me to be with them this year – the Walkington Wordies, Newbald Book Group, Tower Hill Book Group, Willerby Library Group, the Osprey Ladies Who Lunch, the East Riding Festival of Words, and Hessle Library. The journey would NOT be the same without you.

  Thanks to all the other people who continue to support and champion me, many talented writers themselves – Anne Cater, the Women of Words girls (Vicky, Cass, Julie, Lynda, Jodie and Michelle), the Prime Writers (too, too many to mention), Nick Quantrill, Sue Wilsea, Fiona Mills, Mel Hewitt, Claire Allan, Dean Wilson, Louisa Treger, Melissa Bailey, Carrie Martin, Liz Robinson, and Fionnuala Kearney.

  Thanks to the online groups – Book Connectors and The Book Club (TBC) – who are my go-to place for tips, laughs, and help.

  Most of all, thanks to my publisher Karen Sullivan for continuing to believe in and publish me. For trusting my work enough to sign me based on a book title and scrappy blurb. Love you loads. And to West Camel and Karen for the eternally perceptive edits and patience. And of course super-talented Mark Swan for the endlessly stunning covers.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Louise Beech is an exceptional literary talent, whose debut novel How To Be Brave was a Guardian Readers’ Choice for 2015. The sequel, The Mountain in My Shoe was shortlisted for Not the Booker Prize. Maria in the Moon was compared to Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine and the early work of Maggie O’Farrell, and was widely reviewed. Her latest, The Lion Tamer Who Lost, commanded stunning reviews, and hit number one on the ebook chart. Her short fiction has won the Glass Woman Prize, the Eric Hoffer Award for Prose, and the Aesthetica Creative Works competition, as well as shortlisting for the Bridport Prize twice. Louise lives on the outskirts of Hull.

  Follow Louise on Twitter @LouiseWriter and visit her website: louisebeech.co.uk.

  COPYRIGHT

  Orenda Books

  16 Carson Road

  West Dulwich

  London SE21 8HU

  www.orendabooks.co.uk

  First published in the United Kingdom in 2019 by Orenda Books

  Copyright © Louise Beech 2019

  Louise Beech has asserted her moral right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the written permission of the publishers.

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  ISBN 978–1–912374–63–2

  eISBN 978–1–912374–64–9