Finding Redemption

by Desiree Holt

  When they rose at the same time, Lisa found herself so close to Ethan that a sheet of paper would barely have fit between them. She couldn’t move. Her feet were frozen to the porch. Heat rolled off his body, wrapping itself around her. Something halfway between passion and lust flashed in his eyes. Then it was gone.

  He sidestepped, breaking the invisible thread holding them in place. “Good night. I’ll wake you in the morning.”

  The screen door slammed behind him.

  Lisa stared after him, mouth open. What the hell just happened? Nothing she wanted to deal with, that was for sure. She shook herself and went into the house, careful to lock the door behind her.

  I’m losing my mind. That’s what it is.

  But her dreams that night were filled with images of a hard-looking man with no life in his eyes, except one flash of heat.

  ****

  Damn. Hell and damn.

  Ethan slammed the door to his room and dropped onto his mattress. Raking his hands over his face, he muttered every curse he’d ever learned in every language he knew. This was not happening. This was just not happening.

  Lisa Mallory had asked him early on the reason he was going into the jungles of Mexico to find her child. How could he tell her? If he could successfully return Jamie Mallory to his mother, he’d feel as if some part of his dark, damaged soul had been redeemed.

  And now there was this other wrinkle, one he certainly didn’t need. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually been attracted to a woman. Not that he hadn’t had sex, although he seemed to need it less and less as he buried himself in the agony of his nightmares. But the women he’d been with were merely vessels, as crude as that sounded. He couldn’t even remember what they looked like.

  And now here was this woman, skin and bones and the worst case of nerves he’d seen in a long time. Mouthy. Irritating. Carrying a load of shit with her. The last kind of woman he’d ever want to be with. So why was he sitting here with an erection so hard he couldn’t bend over?

  If he hadn’t trained himself in rigid self-discipline, after that moment on the porch, Mrs. Lisa Mallory would right now be underneath him on this mattress. Naked. Engaged in some very hot, sweaty sex.

  Against his better judgment, he was about to take her into a danger zone on a mission that no amount of training could fully prepare her for. In the humid tropics where danger upped the flow of adrenaline. Where anything could happen. And he was supposed to keep his mind on business while he pegged the bad guys, located her son, and extracted him.

  Shit. Hell and damnation.

  ****

  When Josh arrived the next morning, Lisa noticed two things at once. The first was the gun tucked in the small of his back. It was covered by the loose shirt he wore, but when he turned to Ethan, the fabric shifted and there it was. Josh with a gun? It still shocked her.

  “You think someone is going to attack us again?” she asked.

  “No, but better safe than sorry. Here.” He handed the envelope he held to Ethan.

  Lisa could see Ethan was still pissed at himself. It was evident in the rigid set of his shoulders and the tightness of the muscles in his face.

  He passed the envelope over to Lisa. “Put this in your purse and keep it easily accessible.”

  She tried to control her shock when she opened the passport and saw her picture.

  “Auditioning for a job in a strip club?” Josh joked.

  “I was—”

  He held up a hand. “Just kidding. It’s a perfect disguise.” He grinned at Ethan. “Nick took care of the passport through Guardian. He overnighted it to me because he wasn’t sure if you got mail out here.”

  “Ha ha.” He was monosyllabic once they climbed into Josh’s car. His silence didn’t help Lisa’s nerves, her body rigid, her hands pleating and unpleating the material of her skirt.

  “Nice to have such pleasant companions,” Josh said, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

  Ethan grunted while Lisa stayed silent, chewing her thumbnail and looking out the passenger window.

  “Well.” Josh cleared his throat. “I’m happy to see you two got along so well. This should be a pleasant trip for you. Especially since it’s your honeymoon.” He glanced at Ethan. “Mr. and Mrs. Cameron.”

  Ethan drew in a breath and exhaled. “Just drive, Josh. Okay?”

  Josh frowned, sliding a glance at his friend. “Someone want to tell me what’s going on? Otherwise, no one’s going anywhere. Especially the airport.”

  “Everything’s fine.” Lisa tried to make her voice even. “I think Ethan and I are just a little tired from intense preparation and uptight about what we’re going into.”

  “I still wish you’d change your mind.” The smile couldn’t hide Josh’s worry. “I don’t care how much Ethan trained you. You shouldn’t be in the middle of this.”

  “Either take me to TIA or I’ll take myself. But I’m going.”

  “Fine. Fine.” Josh shook his head. “Whatever.”

  They drove the same kind of aimless route Ethan had used the other day. Up and down side streets, doubling back on themselves, heading one way on the Interstate then back the other way.

  She looked at Ethan, frowning.

  “Josh is just making sure we don’t have a tail.” Ethan’s gruff voice was like splintering wood.

  She had to force herself not to look out the rear window. “You still think someone’s found us? Could follow us? Maybe the people from yesterday?”

  “I think anything’s possible. That shooting wasn’t just idle target practice.” He turned and looked into the back seat where she was sitting. “I’ve stayed under the radar for years. Hardly anyone even knows where my house is. Now I’m out there where people can take potshots at me. We’ll have enough trouble selling ourselves as honeymooners. I don’t want anyone blowing that cover too soon.”

  “Oh.” It hadn’t occurred to her that he’d be putting himself at this kind of risk by agreeing to help her find her son. She quickly tamped down any feeling of regret. Jamie was the only important thing. She’d worry about everything else when he was safely home.

  At last, they reached the airport and pulled up to the departure entrance for Continental. Josh climbed out of the car, ignoring the airport guard trying to wave him on. He shook hands with Ethan, and Lisa saw some silent message pass between them. Then he turned to her and enveloped her in a tight hug.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing.” His voice was gruff with emotion.

  “I know I’m going to find Jamie.” Her own voice was tight with unshed tears. “I feel it.”

  Josh visibly forced himself to let go of her and stepped back. “Have a nice honeymoon, Ed and Lily.”

  But Ethan already had a grip on Lisa’s arm, hurrying her into the terminal.

  Riding the electric tram that carried them from the main terminal to airside where all the gates were located, he sat with his arm draped casually across her shoulders. At first, she started to draw away, but his hand tightened on her and he leaned over to whisper in her ear.

  “Honeymooners, remember? If you can’t play the part, tell me now.”

  She gritted her teeth, turned her face to his, and gave him a simpering smile. “I can do what I have to,” she whispered back.

  If only the damn wig didn’t itch so much.

  They passed through security without a hitch, and Ethan stopped at a Starbucks to buy coffee for them.

  “Would you like something to eat, sweetheart?”

  The words sounded like they were being dragged from his throat, and Lisa had to smother a grin. “No thanks, honey. I’m too excited to eat. And you know flying always makes me nervous.”

  Ethan handed her the coffee. He still had his sunglasses on so his eyes were impossible to see, but his face was a hard mask.

  Some honeymoon. She pasted a smile on her face, hitched the straps of her purse and her tote onto her shoulder and took a sip. “Ooh, just right,” she cooed. “Thanks, sweet
ie.”

  She linked her arm through his, nearly knocking his coffee out of his hand, and tugged him along the concourse, hips swaying.

  “Aren’t you going a little overboard?” Ethan spoke through clenched teeth.

  “Just getting into the act.” And I can do it as well as you can. Asshole.

  When they sat down in the waiting area Ethan played his part of the typical newlywed husband. Hugging her. Kissing her cheek. Stroking her arm. But underneath it all, she could still feel the tension humming in his body. She glanced at him once or twice and wondered if everyone else could tell they were playacting. Performing. Staging.

  Then, as if a switch had flipped, another problem sprang up. Whatever had flashed between them last night was still sharp in her mind, and every time he touched her, she was reminded of it. Her skin tingled, her nipples hardened, and she squeezed her thighs together to still the unexpected throbbing that vibrated through her body.

  God! She hadn’t had sex in longer than she could remember. Now, of all times, her stupid body decided it was ready? And with a man who was the antithesis of everything she liked?

  Get yourself under control, Lisa. You won’t be any good to Jamie and the mission if you’re thinking about sex, and with Ethan Caine of all people. God, how had she let this happen?

  She sensed Ethan was affected, too. The way the muscles in his arm tightened as he placed it loosely across the back of her chair or around her shoulders. Or the rigidity of his body whenever he leaned over to give her a stage kiss.

  What would their situation be like when they got to Mexico?

  She forced her mind to focus on Jamie, calling up the scene in the restaurant when he’d disappeared, the panic, the terrible night of the failed ransom drop. She dredged up every pain-filled night since then. By the time they boarded the plane, her thoughts were on Jamie only, her reaction to Ethan locked away in her mind. She could do this. No problem, as long as she concentrated on her son.

  In spite of his big show as the new husband, Lisa sensed Ethan’s eyes never stopped moving. His body, next to hers, was coiled like a steel band. He gave new meaning to the word hyper-alert. She wondered if anyone besides her thought it strange he kept his sunglasses on.

  ****

  Ethan silently cursed his physical reaction to Lisa Mallory. Why the fuck did his body choose now to wake up? For perhaps the one hundredth time, he reminded himself what a crazy idea it was to accept this mission, especially with her along. More than just the insanity of going back into the field again, this situation was like a bomb set to go off.

  Since his last assignment had gone to hell and back, all but destroying his life, he’d been very careful to form no attachments to women. Anyone, really, except Josh, but specifically women. Who wanted someone with a soul as black as his? The ones he used for sex knew it was merely a physical release and expected nothing from him. That was what he wanted. No, needed. Every emotion was buried as deep as he could hide it. He was sure there wasn’t a female alive who could accept what his past had been and what it had done to him. Or one he wanted to share it with.

  Now here was this female, giving him an erection he constantly had to work to conceal. No matter how many silent orders he gave to his cock, the stubborn thing wouldn’t go to sleep. Shit! He couldn’t afford to let anything distract him, or they could all end up dead—he, Lisa Mallory, and worst of all, young Jamie. What the fuck was it about her, anyway?

  His eyes carefully catalogued each face they passed over, seeking one hint of familiarity. Of danger. He kept his sunglasses on to hide the constant movement of his eyes, hoping people would think he was hung over from his wedding. Or just hung over, period. A useless bum not worth a second look.

  So far, so good.

  When they were called for boarding, he tightened his grip on Lisa’s shoulder, signaling her to sit tight until he felt they should move. Finally, when the line was almost at an end, he urged them forward and onto the plane.

  “We’re on our honeymoon,” he told the flight attendant at the cabin door. “Are there two seats left in the back?”

  “Newlyweds, huh?” She winked at them. “Lucky for you we have our little two-seat row empty. Usually no one wants to sit there because we stow a lot of junk opposite it.”

  “Suits us fine.” Ethan kissed her cheek. “Right, sweet thing?”

  Lisa nodded, and the smile she managed was closer to genuine than he expected.

  He still wore his sunglasses that as they moved through the plane’s cabin so he could memorize each face. Thank god, some skills never disappeared.

  At last, they were at the end of the aisle, squeezing themselves into the two seats. He tucked her tote and his duffle bag underneath them and settled in. He said very little during the flight to Houston, although he kept his arm around her and every so often leaned over and nuzzled her cheek.

  “Play it up good,” he told her in a soft voice. “I want everyone to remember the Camerons as a loving couple.”

  “Why did we board so late,” she whispered, “and ask for seats in the back?”

  “So I could check out the passengers. And back here I can watch everyone else get off and see if someone looks a little off center.”

  “Do you always live like this? Suspicious of everyone?”

  “Goes with the territory. It’s how I stayed alive all those years.” He took her hand and kissed it, whispering against her knuckles, “Just concentrate on playing your part.”

  And he’d play his, ruthlessly suffocating the unwanted responses to her that were more than acting.

  With less than an hour for the Houston layover, Ethan steered them into a tiny open snack bar where, he explained, he could watch everyone go by. Her body nearly vibrated with nerves, but he had to give her credit. She was playing her part to the hilt and not bombarding him with stupid questions. He was happy to board the plane again, repeating the same routine as before.

  The flight attendant handed out tourist cards for everyone to complete. Lisa copied her information from Ethan’s, then put it in her purse.

  “Don’t lose that,” he warned. “It could end up being your Get Out of Jail Free card.”

  Chapter Nine

  Finally, they landed in Cancun and walked out into one of the busiest airports in the Caribbean. Concourse shops displayed colorful Mexican clothing and artifacts. Mariachis played in one corner as people strolled by. Tourists jostled each other as they hurried to security and the departure gates. And Lisa was glad to be on the ground. One step closer to finding Jamie.

  A representative of Continental handed them a general information packet and herded them through immigration.

  “Just act like it’s no big deal for the honeymooning Camerons,” Ethan murmured. “Hand them your passport and you’ll be fine.”

  She waited while the official examined it.

  When he asked the nature of their visit, Ethan said, “Honeymoon,” and hugged Lisa to his side.

  “Newlyweds?” He smiled and handed their passports back to them. “Your wife is mucho linda, Senor Cameron. Bienvenido a Mexico. Enjoy your stay.”

  “What did he say about me?” she asked.

  “He said my wife was very beautiful.”

  She snorted. “Shows you how much he knows. I look like shit.”

  “If you packed about twenty pounds back on that skinny frame of yours, you’d be a knockout. I’d have a hard time not stripping your clothes off and fucking your brains out.”

  Lisa stopped and stared at him, open-mouthed.

  Ethan pulled on her arm. “Don’t let it go to your head. Come on. We have to get out of here.”

  He hustled her toward one of the rental car desks, where he signed and paid for Ed Cameron’s reserved rental, a Toyota Camry.

  “Do you need a map, senor?” the reservations clerk asked.

  “Yeah, that would be great. And directions to the Holiday Inn Express.” He planted what had to be the tenth kiss on Lisa’s cheek. “Can’t wai
t to get my sweetie in our room.” He winked at the girl.

  She laughed and handed him his papers. “Someone will bring your car to that exit over there.” She pointed at the end of the baggage claim area.

  “Gracias.” He took Lisa’s arm and hustled her toward the exit. As they came through the doors, a gray Toyota Camry pulled up and a thin man in slacks and a shirt with a wild print got out. He nodded briefly to Ethan, their eyes exchanging a silent message, then jogged down the sidewalk area.

  Minutes later, they were out of the airport and on the highway into town.

  “That didn’t look like the regular rental car pickup,” Lisa commented. “We were the only one receiving a vehicle.”

  “It isn’t, and we were.”

  “So let me guess. More of your secret stuff. You arranged for someone to bring our car to that spot when they called down from the rental desk.” She shook her head. “Forget I even asked.”

  She decided asking questions got her nowhere so she just stared out the window at the scenery, absorbing it, remembering its geography from the map.

  “Cancun is actually a barrier island,” Ethan explained as he drove. “It’s connected to the Mexican mainland by two bridges, one at the north end and one at the south.” He honked at a van that cut in front of him. “Kukulcan Road, the only main thoroughfare, runs directly down the middle of the city.”

  “I’ve certainly seen enough advertising about this place,” she commented, staring out the window.

  “The Hotel Zone takes up most of the island,” he went on, “not just with hotels but restaurants and shops, too, that cater to the constant stream of tourists. Downtown Cancun, or Cancun Centro, is where the locals live and play, shop and eat. Less expensive.”

  “Is that where the Camerons are staying?”

  “Nope. We’re at the Holiday Inn Express. I spare no expense for my little honey.”

  Lisa didn’t know whether to laugh or smack him.

  “We’d be expected to stay there,” he clarified. “But the cantina I have to scope out is downtown. I’m hoping there are some other tourists so we won’t stick out like sore thumbs. No matter how I play it, a situation like this is always risky.”