Taming My Rebel: A Dragon Shifter Romance
Page 13
He chuckled again. More often than you know.
Then my stomach took another dive outside my body as Aro dropped from the sky to land effortlessly in a clearing. I checked my watch, 9:00 p.m.—Draven had been very precise with the timings. He probably knew Aro’s capabilities pretty well these days.
Aro’s mouth turned down. I’m not sure for how much longer.
I opened my mouth ask what he meant but Draven was suddenly in his place, his breathing heavy, his face creased in pain.
I rushed to his side. “Are you okay?”
The ugly skin reached across his shoulder now.
He backed away from me. “Fine. Just give me a minute and I’ll get dressed. We can leave the woods and approach the house from down the block.”
I hesitated at the curtness in his tone. He hadn’t spoken to me like that before, but maybe flying made him tired.
12
Draven
Everything hurt, although I didn’t want Mae to know or see how much. I wouldn’t look weak in front of her, and I couldn’t let her believe I wouldn’t protect her.
Mate. My dragon’s mumble sounded tired and content, and for a moment hope flickered inside me that we’d both found the one woman who could fix everything, but my demon chattered in annoyance and exploded pain deep inside my head.
I sucked in harsh breath after harsh breath as we hurried up the street, and as Mae slid her hand into mine, I flipped through my memories, trying to remember the last time I’d been this nice to anyone. Hell, I hadn’t wanted to be nice.
This was different.
This was Mae.
Mate. The word rumbled through my chest again like I’d forgotten. But I hadn’t. Of course I hadn’t. My whole existence was perched on a knife edge, my fate determined by this one tiny woman.
But my thoughts weren’t really about me or my safety. She was the one who mattered. Maybe the only woman in the world who did.
Besides, it wouldn’t matter if everything went wrong because I’d cease to exist if everything Chloe said was correct. My demon would take my soul—as it was already taking my body—and I’d be gone.
Still, there was a single strand of hope deep inside my chest that all of this would be worth it, that Mae would love me, and I could be like Chloe, a pure dragon.
At that thought, more pain ricocheted through me, and I clutched my head and my chest, not sure where my body hurt most. It was bone-deep and excruciating. Even my teeth ached. And maybe my eyeballs were actually melting.
Mae turned to me, her eyes full of pity—possibly more wounding than any of the pain my demon caused—but there was something else that shone beyond the pity. Understanding maybe. Perhaps even empathy, like she really knew this kind of pain.
She grabbed my hand, weaving her fingers between mine, and tugged me up the steps to her grandma’s front porch. A rocker sat on the wide wooden floorboards, and I had a sudden vision of a much younger Mae snuggled up on an older lady’s lap there. This felt like a happy home.
A far cry from the home I was thrown out of by a dad who probably didn’t even know how to care, whose demon came for him far too early.
That could be me, too. This time, the voice in my head surprised me. It was a voice of longing and regret, and it was my own.
Both my demon and dragon remained silent. My dragon tired from my demon’s antics, and my demon anticipating the future pay-off.
“I’ve got a key in here somewhere.” Mae shoved her hand in first one pocket then another before she grinned and held up a well-used, worn-looking key.
“You still have a key to your grandma’s place?” I couldn’t help the incredulity in my voice.
Mae laughed. “You thought she might make me turn it in the moment I walked out the door?”
I shrugged. What the hell did I know? “The only thing I left home with was a bruised ass from landing on it when I got kicked out.” I attempted a chuckle, but it didn’t come out right, and Mae lifted herself onto her tiptoes to brush a soft kiss against my lips as she pushed the door open behind her.
Then she pulled me across the threshold, and calm washed over me as I witnessed her homecoming. Tension dropped from her, and every single one of her muscles relaxed. Her grin became even easier, and she almost glowed. My demon and dragon were quiet again, but this time truly.
For no other reason than this house brought me the kind of peace I hadn’t experienced in years.
“It’s a little dated and tired.” Mae swung her arms, gesturing expansively, and her grin softened further as she looked around the surroundings that were so familiar to her.
“Not dated or tired.” I caught her in my arms. “Just full of love, right?”
“Yes,” she agreed as she kissed me again. “Full of years of love.”
I closed my eyes briefly. I wanted those years of love.
She stepped away but kept careful hold of my fingers and grinned at me before opening her mouth. “Grandma!” She bellowed the word, and I laughed as she waited for a reply, one eyebrow raised. “She’s a little more selectively deaf every time I visit, I swear,” Mae whispered conspiratorially.
Then I followed her around the house, trailing after her, watching the backpack still on her shoulders bounce up and down with every step she took, like it was as happy to be here as she was. I also watched her ass. It was…beguiling.
She walked from room to tidy room, and each was a long way from the overpopulation of doilies and neatly placed orthopedic chairs I expected to find.
Instead, Grandma had a fully stocked bar and even a jukebox tucked into the corner of one of the rooms in her deceptively normal two-story ranch-style home.
When Mae had peeked into the last room, she turned and shrugged. “Looks like it’s bridge night.” She lifted her eyebrow again. “Well, Grandma calls it bridge. It always looked a hell of a lot more like poker to me.” She shrugged. “But what can you do? Grandmas, right?” Then she wrapped her arms around me and laid her cheek against my chest. “I’m sorry. That was insensitive.”
“Not at all.” And to my surprise, I meant it. “I love hearing about your grandma.” The details about her life made me feel closer to her, like I belonged somewhere. I leaned into that feeling and closed my eyes for moment, suddenly even more hopeful for our future.
“Let me show you where you can sleep.” Her perky backpack and equally perky butt pretty much bounced up the stairs ahead of me, and my dick pressed against the denim of my jeans.
But we were in her grandmother’s house. Groping Mae here felt a little inappropriate.
Even though I wanted to.
She led me to a tidy room, almost the antithesis of the rock-n-roll grandma evident elsewhere, with a freshly made bed and a sunny paintjob.
“You okay in here?” She set the backpack on the floor.
“Uh… Where will you be?” I wanted to reassure her my mind hadn’t wandered anywhere intimate, that it was about her protection only. A lie, of course, and maybe lying was way more wrong than my thoughts, so I let my question hang awkwardly between us.
“Across the hall. Let me show you.” Luckily, if my face had flushed, she ignored it as she took my hand again and led me to a room that belonged in a time capsule, but the posters of barely shaving teens with their abs out sent irritation to heat my blood anyway.
Mae turned to me. “Grandma hasn’t changed much in this room.”
“I see.” It was an understatement, and she knew it as she bit back her amusement.
“Anyway, let me show you downstairs.” Mae tugged my hand gently, sending an electric current of desire right to the base of my cock as she drew me away from the bedrooms.
And we were off again, back down the stairs when all I actually wanted to do was hold her in my arms in a house where it didn’t seem to hurt.
“There are three bedrooms,” Mae intoned, sounding like a cross between a tour guide and a realtor. “Downstairs we have the sitting room, complete with bar and vintage sound system
”—she indicated the jukebox—“and through these doors we have a kitchen big enough to hold a party for fifty of your closest friends.”
She was totally right. The kitchen was huge, and it was decorated like a local diner—all silver fittings and red vinyl—yet still homey and…
I sniffed the air, a sweet scent filling my nose. “Apple pie?”
“You bet your balls it’s apple pie, young man.” A turbo-charged older lady with pink streaks in her hair barreled through the back door, and before I could leap in front of Mae to protect her, she’d been swept into a bear hug by that pint-sized human missile.
Eventually, Mae drew away. “Grandma, this is Draven, the friend I’ve been staying with.”
Her grandma turned to face me. Then without warning, she enveloped me in a bear hug, too. At first, I froze. I wasn’t worthy of this level of affection from a woman who had no idea of the things I’d done.
But the longer she held me, the more I relaxed, and slowly my arms wound around her as though acting on their own. I breathed out a long exhale of contentment. No one had ever just accepted me.
“Any friend of Mae’s is a friend of mine. My girl has great taste.” She held me at me at arm’s length. “You can stay as long as you want.”
Mae chuckled. “Now, Grandma…”
“What?” Her grandma’s blue eyes were big and round and all too innocent.
“My, what big eyes you have, Grandma.” Mae chuckled again.
“And these old eyes see everything, so don’t fool yourself.” She looked meaningfully at Mae then at me. “Pie, young man?”
I nodded, and she gestured at a seat.
“While you’re here, my home is your home.” She opened the refrigerator and removed a pie pan before serving up a healthy slice. “Ice cream?”
I nodded, but a feeling of dread settled over me. The few moments of apple pie and quiet inside my body wouldn’t last. I couldn’t delay my return to Port Lair, and I’d pay for this respite from pain as soon as my demon decided I needed to.
I couldn’t even fool him into thinking that I was maybe doing something to Mae’s detriment out here. No. This trip could only be good.
I swallowed. And good…wasn’t good. I’d suffer for my decisions, but for Mae, I’d suffer every day I had left.
I chewed my apple pie slowly. Well, shit. Now I had the time and the momentary inner peace to think everything through—
I didn’t even need to.
I loved Mae.
I gasped at the first shard of pain since I’d arrived. Apparently, my demon didn’t like my realization. The skin across my shoulder blade prickled.
“You okay?” Mae was more in tune with my mood than I expected or was used to.
Shit, it would have been a hell of a lot easier if I’d never found her in my garage—I wouldn’t be so fucking self-aware. Now, I was killing myself sentimental feeling by sentimental feeling.
And I couldn’t stop.
“Draven?” Mae spoke my name to get my attention, and I looked up.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” But I didn’t even bother to try to force a smile.
“He looks a little pale, honey. Take him for a walk, show him the neighborhood. Get him some air.” Her grandma was full of advice.
But it was mostly good, and Mae nodded, even her grin much more relaxed now that we were away from Saul.
“Yeah. Come walk with me, Draven. I’ll show you some of the local sights.” She walked to the door.
“In the dark?” Skepticism rang in my tone.
“Sure.” She shrugged. “There’s plenty to see in the dark.”
I chuckled. “Oh, I’m sure there is.” My thoughts veered off to all the stuff we could do together in the right dark corner.
Her grandma made a shooing motion with her hand. “Run along, you pair of lovebirds, and I don’t want to know about the sights you saw when you get back.”
Mae flushed, and the extra color in her cheeks was beautiful.
I followed her outside, but my thoughts weren’t on her ass, where they usually were whenever I walked behind her. Instead, they were on the things I wanted to tell her, starting with—
“I’m in love with you,” I blurted as soon as she closed the door behind us, and we were alone.
She turned to face me, and a slow smile spread up her cheeks before she lifted herself onto her tiptoes and pressed her mouth firmly against mine.
My heart soared then sank because I needed to tell her the rest. As she drew away, I took her hand and led her down the path and farther into her grandma’s large yard.
“Why don’t we just stay here? The stars are pretty enough to look at tonight.”
“Sure.” She sounded surprised, but she led me to a small bench tucked into the corner of the yard. “Is there something else on your mind?”
“Uh, no?” I ended my lie on a question, and her smile suggested she knew me too well already.
“Okay. I just wanted to tell you something about the pain my demon causes.”
And the rest, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to get all the words out about how to stop the pain or just how far it could go. I closed my eyes briefly at my cowardice. That wasn’t what I wanted to tell her at all. Quickly, if I had to say them at all. “My shifter contact told me she had a friend who did good deeds to try to be…worthy of his mate. Those and the good thoughts are what hurt.”
The moonlight allowed me to see the furrow of her brow, and she gripped my fingers tighter, but she didn’t say anything.
I couldn’t say the rest. I didn’t want to pressure her into accepting me—and knowing my soul would go to hell if she didn’t accept my claim would be enough pressure for anyone—perhaps even enough for Mae to confess to loving me when she didn’t mean it, and that wasn’t the same as accepting my claim.
I couldn’t condemn her to a life with me, particularly if the love wasn’t real, and I could still lose my soul.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to say anything or don’t want to say the same.” I rushed forward, trying to take the pressure off. Maybe I’d gone too early—no one ever told me how long I should wait to say I loved my mate.
I’d never told anyone before, and no one had ever told me.
But hell, it was how I felt, and I couldn’t keep it in. I waited a moment, hoping in spite of myself that she returned my feelings. More than wanting to save myself, I wanted to know Mae was fully mine.
With all her heart.
When I only heard her soft breathing next to me, I continued, awkwardly filling the silence between us. “You might never return my feelings, but I couldn’t not tell you how I feel. I don’t want you to doubt me. I love you, Mae.”
She sighed in a way I couldn’t read and leaned against me, her presence reassuring. But as the moments passed, her continued quiet sent worry to gnaw at my gut. I’d said she didn’t have to return my feelings, but I’d hoped.
My dragon was dejected, my demon celebratory.
My mate, this amazing woman, might never return my feelings or fully accept me and my claim.
13
Mae
I lay in my bed, looking at my ceiling. I wasn’t really seeing it or even checking out the dust web in the corner that Grandma was perfectly happy to overlook if cleaning tried to have too much of a claim on her time.
Draven’s confession of his feelings last night on the bench whirled around and around my head.
As happy as his words of love had made me—and they had sent my heart soaring—I’d held myself back from saying anything drastic in return, scared of how I felt if it could lead to his pain or mine. Even now, I held myself tense beneath my comforter, my fists clenched and my jaw tense so I wouldn’t leap from my childhood bed and go to confess my love for the man I’d just met.
But it was too soon to be real.
And it was too soon to depend on his pretty words, no matter how much I wanted to. As much as I didn’t want Charlie in my head, and rarely let him resurface there
, he appeared now—all smug grin and reminding me I’d never be truly good enough for anyone to love.
Kailen had always told me I should forget him. In fact, she’d been advocating for that very thing the night of Saul’s party. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t get Charlie out of my head or the idea that, actually, I wasn’t very lovable.
I didn’t expect to be loved.
At least not by anyone without the genetic predisposition. Grandma kind of didn’t count.
I couldn’t guarantee Draven truly cared for me. Not long-haul love, anyway. Not the kind that kept him from flying away if someone younger, hotter, prettier caught his eye. I couldn’t guard against someone better showing up. Well, I could—I could do it the same way I always guarded against it—by not allowing myself to get too attached.
I didn’t want another broken heart.
The smell of coffee roused me from my contemplation, and it was accompanied by something else…bacon. Draven might make mean pancakes, but no one made bacon the way Grandma did.
I quickly washed and dressed and made my way quietly down the stairs before lingering in the kitchen doorway and watching as Grandma handed Draven a plate loaded with scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage patties and toast. He set it beside a steaming mug of black coffee and picked up his fork.
“Thank you.” His voice was a low rumble, and Grandma smiled in response.
“How did you sleep?” She didn’t always bother with pleasantries, so she obviously cared how Draven had found his first night in her home.
He tore off a piece of toast and held off popping it into his mouth as he answered. “Very well, thank you.” His polite deference to her pleased me.
Grandma wheeled around and switched on the vintage transistor radio that always kept her company in the kitchen. It seemed to play static more than music most days, but Grandma said she could always hear the song playing—although perhaps sometimes she just sang whichever song she felt like singing rather than anything the radio station might actually be trying to play her.