I don’t expect to time-travel again when I go to bed, but I wake up to hear Bing Crosby crooning about a silent night. I quickly establish that I’m in a small chapel, but this time the gathering isn’t for a wedding. The mood, like the music, is sombre, and everybody is wearing dark clothing. I’m wearing a black, knee-length shift dress and thick black tights. Beside me, Mum is wearing a charcoal pleated skirt and a white blouse. Unlike the other times I’ve gone back in time, I barely feel a flicker of confusion because the setting is still familiar. This only happened a couple of years ago.
‘Alfred Davis was a remarkable man. Born in 1921 in Rotherham, he was the oldest of seven brothers. He left school at thirteen to help run the family’s greengrocer’s shop after his father passed away, and when his mother left the family home a year later, responsibility for his younger brothers fell onto Alfred’s shoulders. He worked hard to provide a stable home for Bernard, Clifford, Eddie, Bert, Stan and Walter, and when he was just eighteen, he bravely signed up to serve his country. He was later joined by Bernard, Clifford and Eddie, and he was extremely proud of his brothers. Unfortunately, only Alfred and Clifford returned from the war. They found that things in Rotherham had changed dramatically over the course of the war. The family’s greengrocer shop had been forced to close and Walter, the youngest Davis brother, had been killed in an air raid on the town.’
Mum grabs my hand and squeezes it tight, almost crushing my fingers. Ahead, I can see the back of Lily’s head, resting against her mum’s shoulder as she listens to her grandfather’s eulogy. Aaron is on her other side, broad and sturdy in his black jacket.
‘Wanting to start afresh, Alfred moved to Manchester after the war, and it was on Blackpool’s North Pier that he met his beloved Lillian in 1952. It was a whirlwind romance and the pair were married six weeks later. They set up home in Woodgate, where they raised their only child, Stephanie. Stephanie remembers a happy childhood with her parents, though her father could be strict. She remembers sneaking into the house after midnight when she was a teenager, only to come face to face with her father, who asked if she’d lost a glass slipper.’
There’s a murmur of laughter around the chapel, and I take the opportunity to scour the room for Jonas, who I know is here somewhere.
‘Alfred was devastated when Lillian passed in 1992, and when his health began to suffer, he moved into the family home of Stephanie and his grand-daughters Lily and Karina.’
There he is! He’s mostly obscured by a rather large hat topped with a swirl of black taffeta, but it’s definitely him across the aisle, three rows back, sandwiched between the hat lady and the wall.
‘Alfred found joy again when he met Ethel at Pine Trees Nursing Home, and they spent the next eight years together. Staff at the nursing home described the pair as “as thick as thieves” and “inseparable” – although Alfred’s neighbour, Trevor, says that should be changed to “insufferable”.’
There’s another ripple of light laughter and in the second row, a woman in a navy uniform pats an old man on the back. I glance at Jonas again. He’s staring down at his lap, his hair falling over his forehead. I want to wriggle my hand free from Mum’s so I can creep across the aisle, shuffle past the mourners and sit beside him, but I can’t. I’m stuck here for the time being, which is torture as I can remember how much of a state Jonas was in after the divorce, which will still be raw for him as it only happened a matter of months ago.
The funeral draws to a close, and Morecambe and Wise’s ‘Bring Me Sunshine’ plays as we file out of the chapel. Lily, Karina and their mum are waiting by the doors, thanking everyone for attending. I pull my best friend into a hug that I know she needs.
‘He had a good life.’ Steph dabs at her eyes with a damp tissue as she manages a wobbly smile at Mum. She turns to me and rubs my arm. ‘Thanks for coming, love. And you, Jonas. It means a lot.’
I knew Jonas was in a bad way after his divorce, and I thought I remembered this moment in time well, but it’s still a shock when I turn around and see him up close. His hair is long and shaggy, flopping into his eyes, and he sports a beard that’s not so much hipster as can’t-be-arsed-shaving-for-weeks-on-end. His skin is grey, with dark shadows under his eyes, and his suit hangs off his too-skinny frame.
‘You’re all coming back to the house, aren’t you?’ Steph wedges the tissue up the sleeve of her cardigan and tucks her hair behind her ear. ‘It’ll probably be the last time we’re all there together.’ She takes the tissue back out and mops up fresh tears. ‘I’m moving next week. Leaving my memories of Dad behind. If I’d known…’
Since Lily and Karina had flown the nest, Steph was downsizing and moving into a more manageable flat.
‘Your memories are in here.’ Mum places a hand on Steph’s chest. ‘You’ll take them to your new home with you.’
Steph nods as she wipes her nose. ‘You’re right. Of course you are.’ Balling up the tissue, she pushes a shaky smile on her face. ‘Shall we get going then? Create one more memory to take with me to the new place?’
Mum loops her arm through Steph’s and leads her out of the chapel. The rest of us follow. It’s a week until Christmas and pretty mild for this time of year, but the shock of leaving the warm chapel makes me dig my hands into my coat pockets to keep them warm.
‘Does anybody need a lift?’ Dad raises his car keys and gives them a little jiggle.
‘We’re okay, thanks.’ Lily rests her head on Aaron’s shoulder, and he kisses the top of her head. ‘What about you, Jonas? Are you coming with us or Mick?’
Jonas shakes his head. ‘I can’t make it to the wake. Sorry.’ He glances up with a grimace before his focus is taken up by his shoe-scuffing on the ground. ‘I’ve got a flight booked. I should get going, actually.’
‘A flight?’ Lily straightens. ‘Now? Where are you going?’
I know where he’s going, and I know this will be the last time I’ll see him before Lily’s wedding in a couple of years. Or a few hours, depending on where you happen to be, time-wise.
‘I’m going back to Japan.’ Jonas looks up again, squinting against the low winter sun. ‘For good. I need a new start after everything that’s happened. Becca’s pregnant again and…’ He shakes his head. ‘It’s just too hard being here, you know?’
‘I do know, but I’ll miss you.’ Lily throws her arms around Jonas with such force, she almost topples them both over.
‘I’ll miss you too.’ Jonas wraps his arms around her and they rock gently for a moment before Jonas lets go. ‘I’ll give you a call in a couple of days. Once I’m settled.’
‘You’d better.’ Lily thumps him lightly on the arm. ‘And I’ll need an address to post your wedding invitation to as well.’
Jonas smiles. Sort of. It looks painful, whatever it is. Lifting a hand in farewell, he slopes away, his eyes back on his shoes. He disappears from view without looking back.
THIRTY-EIGHT
‘Do you want breakfast? We should have breakfast, shouldn’t we?’
It probably wasn’t appropriate to take a selfie outside the crematorium’s chapel, but I did it anyway while the others were distracted with making sure everyone had a lift back to Steph’s house for the wake. I was transported back to Lily’s spare bedroom and now stumble groggily into her kitchen to find her flapping about the place, grabbing bowls and plates and cutlery from cupboards and drawers then abandoning them on the worktop.
‘What shall we have? Bacon butties? A fry up? I think we’ve got some sausages in the freezer.’ Lily bounds across the kitchen and flings the freezer open, dragging each drawer open until she finds the bag of sausages. ‘But have we got mushrooms? You can’t have a fry-up without mushrooms, can you?’ She nudges the freezer door shut and opens the fridge, shaking her head as she peers inside. ‘Nope. No mushrooms. That’s no good.’ She closes the fridge and bounces to the worktop, flicking the breadbin open. ‘Yes. We have muffins, and they’re even fresh. God bless Aaron Dean and his online shoppi
ng skills. This is why I’m marrying the man. Oh, God.’ Chucking the frozen sausages on the worktop, she places a hand on her stomach. She’s paled to an alarming alabaster shade. ‘I’m getting married. Today. In, like, three hours.’ She swallows hard as she pierces me with a wide-eyed look. ‘I’m getting married, Maisie.’
‘Yes, yes, you are.’ Closing the breadbin, I take Lily by the hand and lead her to the breakfast bar. Pulling out a stool, I give her a gentle nudge and she hops up onto it. ‘You’re marrying the man you love.’
‘I do love him.’ Lily smiles. ‘And I’m not one for getting soppy, but he’s amazing, isn’t he? So kind and thoughtful. And a proper grown-up, you know? He makes sure we’ve got decent food in the fridge and cupboards, because if it was left to me we’d be living off Pot Noodles and toast. And he empties the bins without having to be nagged and he actually enjoys cleaning the oven.’ Lily sits upright and scrunches up her nose. ‘I’m marrying a madman.’ She gives a long sigh. ‘But a really, really fit madman. I can’t believe I didn’t see how gorgeous he was for all those years.’
I splutter as I scramble onto the neighbouring stool. ‘Are you kidding me? You never stopped telling me how fit he was.’
‘I didn’t.’ Lily frowns at me. ‘Did I?’
‘You did. Constantly. It was bloody annoying.’
‘Weird. I wonder why I never thought about him that way until he turned up at that parents’ evening, then. And even then we were just friends for a few years.’
‘That’s because you were Anya’s teacher. It would have been a bit weird if you started dating her dad. How long did you last after her exams? A week? Two weeks?’
Lily shrugs, but her cheeks are turning pink. ‘We met up the night after the leavers’ party and… well, you know. I guess it was finally the right time for us.’
‘It must have been.’ Slipping off the stool, I grab the bag of sausages and pop them back into the freezer. There are labelled tubs of stews and curries in there that Lily definitely isn’t responsible for. ‘But it was worth the wait, right?’
‘Oh, yes.’ Lily grins. ‘And even though I’m so nervous that I’m in danger of wetting myself right now, I can’t wait to be his wife.’
‘Well, you won’t have to wait much longer.’ I head across the kitchen and pull down a couple of boxes of cereal from the cupboard. ‘We need to get a move on. Tina will be here to do your hair and make-up soon. So, cornflakes or coco pops?’ I hold out the boxes and give them a rattle, but Lily makes a face.
‘Neither. I’m not hungry.’ She slips off the stool and bounds across the kitchen. ‘I’m going up for a shower, but help yourself.’
I plump for cornflakes, even though I’m not really hungry either. Lily may be a nervous bride, but I’m a nervous maid of honour. In a couple of hours, I’ll be face to face with Jonas again and I’m not sure how it’s going to go. He couldn’t even bear to look at me the last time we met. Although a couple of years have passed since then for Jonas, his haunted look as he shuffled away to start his new life in Japan is only minutes old to me. I’m even more anxious than I was before.
Tina arrives with Dad and Annabelle, heaving a silver vanity case and a massive bump.
‘I know, I know.’ She puffs out a breath, pushing a strand of hair away from her forehead. ‘I’m the size of a monster truck. Remind me to never do this again.’
I hadn’t realised I’d been staring at Tina’s bump, but I make sure I focus on her face now. Her red, sticky face.
‘Didn’t Mabel say that when she was carrying Teddy? And then she went through it all again with Greta.’ I reach for the vanity case and wrestle it from her hands.
‘Ha! Teddy and Greta were a doddle. Mabel didn’t have them pressing into her bladder at the same time.’ Tina points at the coffee table, and I set her case down. ‘These twins had better be worth it.’ She smiles, one hand pressed into her lower back, before lowering herself to the sofa with a long, low groan.
‘Where do you want these?’ Dad comes into the living room with another vanity case and a small wheelie suitcase.
‘Over there.’ Tina waves a hand at the coffee table. ‘Thanks, Dad.’ She attempts to sit up but, after a bit of wriggling, gives up. ‘Where’s the blushing bride?’
‘In the kitchen, raiding the fridge.’
Lily discovered her appetite after her shower and has been shovelling food into her face ever since. I’ve tried to stop her, but after being on the receiving end of an unpleasant whack to the hand as I tried to take away the family-sized bar of Dairy Milk, I’ve decided to leave her to it.
‘I’ll go and put the kettle on, shall I?’ Dad strides off to make himself useful while Annabelle and I help Tina up from the sofa. The morning flies by as Anya and Karina arrive and Tina does our hair and make-up while Dad keeps us topped up with tea and awful, Christmas cracker-style jokes until Tina threatens to sit on him.
‘Alright, alright.’ Dad holds his hands up as he backs away slowly, his foot colliding with the corner of the hearth, making him stumble. He turns to steady himself using the mantelpiece and chuckles when he spots the photo of me, Lily and Jonas with Santa. ‘Ha! Look at this, Tina.’ Plucking the photo from the mantelpiece, he picks his way through the obstacle course of vanity cases, hair appliances and beauty products currently cluttering Lily’s living-room floor.
‘Very nice.’ Tina’s words are distorted by the grips she’s holding in her mouth as she twists Karina’s hair into an intricate up-do.
‘You didn’t even look.’ Dad thrusts the photo at her again.
‘Dad.’ Tina snatches the grips out of her mouth and glares at him. ‘I’m busy and sweating and hormonal. You need to leave me alone, for your own safety.’
‘Fine.’ Dad huffs as he totters back through the obstacle course and plonks the photo back down on the mantelpiece. ‘I’ll go and put the kettle on again, shall I?’
‘Forget the kettle.’ Lily expertly navigates the clutter to bound across the living room, disappearing into the hallway and reappearing a moment later with a bottle of Prosecco. ‘Let’s crack this baby open before I have to get dressed.’
Lily’s hair and make-up are flawless, but she’s still sporting a pair of Rudolph pyjamas and a dressing gown.
We all enjoy a glass or two – apart from Tina, who glares at us between pinning and spritzing hair. She doesn’t crack a smile until Mabel arrives to pick her up. The car that will be taking the bridesmaids to the registry office arrives as Lily is making her way down the stairs in her dress. I’ve seen the dress before, of course, but today she looks even more stunning with her expertly applied make-up and sleek hair. Her eyes are shining with anticipation of the day ahead.
‘You look beautiful.’ I wait for Lily to float down the stairs before pulling her into a careful hug. ‘I can’t wait to see Aaron’s face when he sees you.’
‘Do you think he’ll like it?’ She smooths the dress down over her hips.
‘He’ll love it.’ I kiss her on the cheek, careful not to leave a lipstick mark, before following Annabelle, Karina and Anya out to the car.
Mum’s waiting outside the registry office with Tina, Mabel and the kids. She coos over us in our bridesmaid dresses and insists on taking a photo of the four of us on the steps while we wait for Lily to arrive, even though Tina’s complaining about her aching feet and back.
‘Is Aaron here?’ I desperately want to know whether Mum has seen Jonas, but I’m not brave enough to ask.
‘Yes, he’s here, looking handsome but shaking like a leaf, bless him. We’ll see you in there.’ Mum crams the camera into her handbag – Dad still insists on having a real camera, despite having a perfectly good one on his phone – before she ushers Tina inside.
It’s chilly outside, despite the fluffy white wraps draped over our shoulders, but I don’t want to wait in the foyer. I want to see Lily arrive, but I also want to avoid seeing Jonas. As much as I’m excited about seeing him, I’m also dreading the moment. I have
no idea if he’ll be pleased to see me again, and I’m not keen on facing the possibility that he won’t be.
‘You all look lovely.’ Steph makes her way down the concrete steps and hugs us in turn, resting her hand on Karina’s cheek. ‘It’ll be you next. You’ll see.’
Karina folds her arms and shakes her head. ‘I’m not even seeing anyone. All the men I meet are dicks. I think Lily nabbed the last decent bloke out there.’
Steph opens her mouth to argue, but she’s distracted by the car pulling up. Dad steps out onto the pavement and we all shuffle forward as he opens the door and helps Lily out. Somehow, she looks even more stunning than she did on the stairs, and I feel my chest swell up with pride.
‘Look at you.’ Steph leaps forward and pulls Lily into a tight hug. ‘You look amazing, love. Like a proper princess.’
‘Thanks, Mum, but can we go inside?’ Lily disentangles herself from Steph’s embrace and accepts the bouquet Dad’s holding out to her. ‘I’m freezing my tits off out here.’
It’s so typical of Lily, I bark out a laugh. You can put her in the finest clothes, but Lily will never change – and I wouldn’t her to.
We gather in the foyer, making sure everyone has their bouquets, and their hair and make-up hasn’t been wrecked by the biting wind, then it’s time. Steph scurries off to take her seat while Lily takes the deep, calming breaths we’ve been practising over the past few weeks.
‘Thanks for doing this, Mick.’ She looks at Dad as we wait outside the room for our cue. ‘My dad’s never been around, but you and Grandad have been the best father figures I could have asked for. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for you and Fran.’
The 12 Christmases of You & Me Page 24
