Dead Inside

by Noelle Holten

  What the fuck is happening?

  He was fully awake and in his head he was screaming – but no sound escaped his lips. Robert felt his pulse rising as panic took hold. Swallowing and breathing became more difficult. It was then Robert realized the truth.

  Oh, my god, I’m going to die.

  The person stepped over him and pulled his arms up over his head, dragging him back into the tiny bedsit. Robert stared helplessly at the ceiling as he was left to lie between his bed and the black bin bags lined up against the cupboards. A noise made him look in the direction of the person and he saw more syringes being pulled from their pocket. He could still feel everything, time seemed to have slowed, and Robert was terrified.

  The first hit to his face caught him off guard.

  He was too preoccupied with the fact that he was completely helpless to notice the small wooden bat coming towards his face. A pool of urine lay beneath him, his tracksuit bottoms felt damp. A combat-style boot kicked him in his ribs and then landed right on his stomach, winding him.

  Why is this happening?

  Robert thought he’d endured as much pain as humanly possible, until he saw the knife and heard the laughter.

  ‘Ooooh, pissy pants. Let’s see how you like this.’ The voice was muffled, barely recognizable, and then Robert felt the edge of the cold blade prodding at his neck.

  ‘You like to rape and beat women. Don’t think that will be happening anymore now, do you?’

  The blade sliced across his windpipe and a cold, wet sensation tickled his neck as the blood pooled beside him.

  ‘Lights out now, Robbie-boy. I’m sure your wife won’t even shed a tear when she finds out.’

  Another kick to his side jarred him as the person walked out, closing the door behind them.

  Robert Millard lay on the floor struggling to breathe. He felt a tingling sensation in his lower region. He began to cry as the blackness descended; and his final wish was that hell wasn’t as bad as they made it out to be.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

  The list of prolific domestic abuse perpetrators seemed to be growing on a daily basis and Mark was becoming increasingly concerned as he saw the carnage – both physical and psychological – that was left behind. With no leads on the Talbot investigation so far, he also didn’t want another murder on his caseload, especially after his visit with Millard a few nights ago which reminded him how volatile these offenders can be. The whole team had shared some concerns about the likelihood that some of the offenders would go on to commit more serious offences. They knew how this would impact not only the resources the team had, but also those who were left behind.

  Mark wanted to discuss his concerns with Dr Moloney after learning that she also specialized in criminal profiling. He proceeded to Kate’s office and tapped gently on her door.

  ‘PC Fielding. Nice to see you. What can I do for you today?’ Dr Moloney had a way of making everyone feel at ease. It could have been the soft lilt in her accent, the way words seemed to flow poetically off her tongue.

  ‘Hi, Dr Moloney. Just wondered if I could pick your brain for a minute?’

  ‘Of course, what do you need?’

  ‘DI Calleja told us that you have experience in criminal profiling, and I wondered if that extended to predicting the likelihood of someone going on to murder? I’m also curious whether you’ve had a chance to look at the Talbot murder, and whether you had any ideas about who we should be focussing our attention on?’

  ‘I do indeed. Profiling is my secret passion, but it’s been some time since I’ve been asked to use that skill on a real case.’ Dr Moloney reached across to the bookcase next to her desk and pulled out what looked like some kind of manual. ‘Now that I’m here and settled, it’s as good a time as any to brush up on those skills.’

  ‘I can’t say that I am sorry that Talbot is dead, but the scum we deal with need to be stopped before we end up with another murder on our caseloads, and this time a victim.’ Mark paused and Dr Moloney raised an eyebrow. ‘Sorry. I just don’t understand why a man, why anyone for that matter, would prey on those they know can’t or won’t defend themselves.’ Mark lowered his eyes to the floor and tried to control his anger. He didn’t want her wondering why someone who felt so strongly would choose to work with these individuals.

  Dr Moloney shrugged. The look she gave him conveyed that, although she may agree with his point of view, she felt that personal views shouldn’t be allowed to cloud professional boundaries. Mark knew that, regardless of his opinion, in order to protect the victims teams such as this specialized unit needed to work with offenders.

  ‘Right then. I’ll look over the list of nominals. I have plans to meet up with your probation colleagues soon. Probation’s risk assessments may help me form a more valid overall picture of what the team … or rather who the team need to focus on. I will also ask DS Hooper for the case information on Talbot’s murder and see if I can start generating a profile. How does that sound?’

  ‘OK, great and thanks for that, Dr Moloney. Is there anything you need me to do?’

  ‘Hmmm … not particularly – but if I think of something, I’ll be sure to ask.’

  Mark left Kate’s office feeling slightly deflated. He’d thought Kate would be able to add more immediate insight on specific triggers he needed to be aware of, but inwardly agreed that speaking with probation was probably the right thing to do. The team were working around the clock, checking CCTV and canvassing the area for any further witnesses in the Talbot case. He hoped they would catch a break soon. He scanned the list of nominals, looking for the highest risk cases. He wasn’t surprised by the names that raised the most concerns: Robert Millard, Greg Stanton, the now-deceased Drew Talbot, and that fellow that’d had Lucy on edge, Mick O’Dowd. They needed more information on his transfer from London. Mark noted that this would be one of his priority tasks to complete.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

  Lucy wasn’t surprised when Robert Millard failed to attend his appointment, in fact she was secretly pleased not to see him. After breaching his harassment order and being fined yet again, she figured he’d be off somewhere getting drunk and winding himself up. She got the warning letter prepared and started drafting her breach report. No doubt the suspended sentence would now be activated, and Lucy would have the displeasure of supervising Robert once again on release. Lucy hated that anyone serving a sentence of under twelve months would automatically have to report to probation for a period equalling twelve months after their release. It used to be the case that if a person was sentenced to six months custody, there would be no probation involvement on release. A waste of time and taxpayers’ money as far as Lucy was concerned.

  She had to inform her police colleagues of Robert’s further failure, so she picked up the phone and dialled the unit.

  ‘PC Mark Fielding. Domestic Abuse and Homicide Unit. How can I help?’

  ‘Hi, Mark, it’s Lucy. How are you?’

  ‘All good here, Lucy. What can I do for you today?’

  Lucy explained to Mark about Robert and suggested that a visit by the police offender managers might be the best course of action, hinting that the police could hand deliver the warning letter. Lucy told him she believed Robert had been struggling to engage in supervision and he may be internalizing his anger. This, of course, raised the alarm about Louise and anyone Robert would ultimately blame for his situation.

  ‘Gotcha. Not sounding too good, is it? Well, we have Dr Moloney here now, so maybe once the breach is dealt with, we’ll have her come along for a prison visit. She also specializes in offender profiling, so she might be able to assist with your risk assessments. Not that you don’t do a great job as is, Lucy.’

  ‘That sounds on point. Any chance of some of us coming over and meeting her? I think there will be quite a few of us who would love to pick her brains.’ Lucy also wouldn’t mind seeing Mark, but she didn’t say that out loud.

  ‘I don’t see why not. She said she wanted
to arrange a meeting with probation, so leave it with me and I’ll get back to you ASAP.’

  Lucy hung up the phone and could feel the goofy grin forming on her face.

  ‘Was that hubby on the phone, Lucy? I don’t think I’ve seen a smile that big before.’

  Lucy blushed as Andy Bourne, her line manager, walked by.

  ‘Uh … yeah. You know what it’s like when you’re in love.’ Lucy nearly gagged as the words came out of her mouth. She could see Sarah giving her a funny look from across the room. It was hard to have a private conversation in an open-plan office.

  Her email pinged. It was Mark.

  Dr Moloney is free today after the operational meeting until about 6.00 p.m. for anyone who wants to come over and meet her to discuss the cohort. Can you ask your colleagues and drop me a line with the names of anyone who will be attending?

  Thanks,

  Mark

  Although it was short notice, Lucy hurried around the room asking her colleagues whether any of them were free to attend later today; she grinned as she sent off a reply to Mark.

  Hi Mark,

  Looks like you’re stuck with me only, if I can get away. Everyone else is busy or out, so I’ve been tasked with gathering the information and feeding back to the team. Hope that’s OK?

  Lucy

  Before she even had time to move on to her next task, Mark had responded to say it was fine and that they all looked forward to her visit. Now Lucy just had to convince Patrick that she needed to stay a bit later today, without starting an argument.

  CHAPTER FORTY

  Maggie looked at the agenda for the operational meeting and noted that Sharon Bairden would be giving an update. She had just been to visit Louise Millard, and a few of the other women she worked with. The tone of Sharon’s email suggested she was fuming that the victims’ partners had repeatedly breached the harassment orders and she’d been left in the dark. Maggie was surprised, because this wasn’t how she envisaged multi-agency work. Sharon’s email inferred that there was a silo mentality and, had Sharon known this, she wouldn’t have agreed to be a part of it. Maggie admired Sharon’s fire and could see she wouldn’t be one to sit back and wait. Looking up from her desk after hearing a slight commotion, Maggie wasn’t surprised to see Sharon storm into the office and nearly knock Dr Moloney off her feet.

  ‘Where is Mark or Joseph?’

  ‘Do you mean PC Fielding and DI Calleja?’

  Maggie wasn’t sure who would win a fight between Sharon and Kate.

  ‘Sorry, do I know you?’ Sharon hissed.

  ‘Dr Kate Moloney. And you are …?’ Maggie waited to see if Sharon would shake the hand that was extended.

  ‘The name’s Sharon. OK, Kate, now that the pleasantries are done with – I need to speak with Mark or Joseph about what’s happening with the restraining orders. Seems they mean nothing, and I want some answers. I have women who believe there is no point in protecting themselves, and the police can’t be bothered to do anything. So, where can I find them?’

  Maggie wondered if Kate would stand her ground and was surprised to see her raise one eyebrow and point in the direction of the meeting room. ‘They’ll all be in there. By the way, nice to meet you, Sharon. I’m getting the coffee/tea organized. Would you like one?’

  Sharon brushed past her without saying a word.

  Maggie got up and followed, seeing all heads turn when Sharon stormed into the meeting room. Maggie tried to catch the DI’s attention, but he stood up and began speaking.

  ‘Well hello, Sharon! I didn’t know you’d been invited to this meeting. Dr Moloney is just—’

  ‘Never mind about that! Can you tell me what is being done about Robert Millard and the rest of the nominals with their continued breach of restraining orders?’ She stood in the middle of the room, hands on hips. ‘I had these women in tears, angry, and scared. Fearful that these arseholes can breach their orders without any consequences. What the hell is that about?’ Sharon raised a wad of papers, presumably victim statements, and waved them in the air.

  Maggie saw Calleja and Mark exchange glances, before the DI responded, ‘Sharon. Do you want to have a seat and calm down?’

  ‘No, I bloody well do not!’

  ‘Well, until you calm down, there is nothing I’m going to say to you. Maybe we should take this outside, where it will be a little … erm … more private?’ The DI gestured towards the door.

  Sharon left the room in a huff and stood outside tapping her foot furiously as she waited for Calleja. Maggie inched her way closer to the door. To her credit, Sharon listened as Calleja assured her he would get to the bottom of her concerns and would do what he could to make sure any issues were brought up and actioned in the meeting. Maggie casually pushed her chair back to its original place as she watched them return to the meeting room. Dr Moloney followed them both in with a tray of hot drinks, which she placed carefully on the table.

  ‘OK, everyone, Sharon’s going to join us for this meeting. She has some important information to share,’ Calleja said as he took his seat.

  Mark turned towards his boss ‘What about Probation? Aren’t we going to wait?’

  ‘Oh sorry. I forgot. I just had a message from Lucy. She apologizes for not being able to attend – she was looking forward to meeting Dr Moloney – but she can’t get away from the office. Instead, she emailed me an update. Can I rely on you, Mark, to liaise any actions from today’s meeting with Lucy?’

  Mark blushed.

  Oooh. Something is going on here.

  Maggie couldn’t have been the only one to notice the smile formed on Mark’s face, ‘Yes, guv. Not a problem,’ he said.

  The meeting lasted about an hour, with all agencies around the table sharing updates on the current nominals. Mick O’Dowd was mentioned and Maggie noted the name down. Maybe it was a person of interest in the Talbot case. She would check it out and then speak to Mark.

  Dr Moloney took the floor, opened a folder and read out: ‘“Mick O’Dowd, also known as Michael to professionals, is a transfer in from London. He was released to a bail hostel in this area from prison after a seven-year sentence for grievous bodily harm on the victim, his ex-partner, Moira. He has racked up numerous offences, ranging from drunk and disorderly to criminal damage, as well as a few common assaults, all of which appear to have a link to domestic abuse. He is a serial abuser against multiple partners – he has two estranged children – and his first wife remains in hiding, following a particularly nasty attack, for which she never pressed charges” … so this is someone we need to watch.

  ‘Mark, can you liaise with probation about Mr O’Dowd and find out who his officer is?’

  Before Mark could answer, Maggie jumped in with a question. ‘Do we have to take him on if there are significant risks like those you have highlighted?’

  ‘Sorry, I’m not sure about police or probation processes. Perhaps DI Calleja can find out, or even Mark when he speaks with probation?’ Kate suggested.

  Maggie guessed from his previous behaviour that Mark was more than happy to pick this up with probation.

  When it came to Sharon’s turn, Maggie listened as Calleja asked everyone to pay close attention.

  ‘First, I apologize for the way I barged in here earlier, but I’d just come from meeting some of the women who are part of the survivor’s support group. All of them expressed their frustration that, despite going through the trauma of a court case and getting a restraining order in place, every time their abuser breached the order, nothing appears to happen as a consequence.’ There were a few murmurs and nods of acknowledgement in the room.

  ‘A bigger concern for me, though, is that they expressed a reluctance to call the police. This is a major warning sign and something we need to act on. But what really scared me was the fact that Louise Millard disclosed she is pregnant. This places her in the high-risk band and, with Robert continually breaking the restraining order, I’m extremely concerned for her safety.’ Maggie watched Shar
on clasp her hands together, lean forward and look at everyone in the room. ‘So, ladies and gentlemen … what the hell are we going to do?’

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  DS Hooper was called into Calleja’s office after the meeting. When he arrived, the DI glanced at him, his eyes tight with worry.

  ‘All OK, guv?’

  ‘Not exactly, Hooper. I just had a call from downstairs. One of the residents of the bedsit where Robert Millard lives says there is a bad smell coming from his room. Two PCs have been sent around to check it out. When was the last time anyone saw Millard?’

  ‘I don’t know, but I can find out for you.’ Hooper radioed across and learnt from Mark that Millard had been seen by Maggie and Reynolds at least a week or so prior to his missed probation appointment. Mark and Maggie were booked to see him in the morning.

  ‘Did you catch that, guv?’

  ‘Yeah. Right. Let’s hope the bad smell was nothing other than sour milk.’

  DS Hooper returned to the DAHU office and called everyone around.

  ‘Right, folks, we may have a problem.’ After explaining the situation, DS Hooper pulled DC Jamieson aside.

  ‘Can you and PC Everett make your way over to Millard’s? If this does turn out to be nothing, at least we can cover our asses.’

  With a curious look, DC Jamieson asked why Fielding wouldn’t be coming with her.

  ‘I want him to follow-up on the actions from the meeting. Given this new information, it’s vital that we get on top of things now. Also, if something has happened to Millard then I want Fielding available to attend Louise’s house. We may need to question her.’