All I Want for Christmas is a Vampire

by Kerrelyn Sparks

She totally intrigued him—physically, emotionally, and intellectually. She was such an interesting mixture of determination and self-doubt, emotional strength and hidden wounds. She reminded him of himself.

  And what were her hidden motives for being here? What made an intelligent woman with a bright future guard the Undead and risk losing her memory when she left? He had to know. Last night while she’d slept, he’d teleported into her bedroom and slipped a tracking device into her handbag. He would know exactly where she and Carlos were going.

  He wandered back into the bedroom to shower and change clothes. After taking care of the women on the sidewalk, he teleported to the parking lot at Romatech Industries.

  Connor showed no reaction when Ian marched into the security office. He simply turned off the television.

  Dougal and Phineas gave Ian sympathetic looks before focusing on their shoes. Bloody hell. He hated pity even more than humiliation.

  “We’d better make the rounds.” Dougal headed out the door. “Come on, Phineas.”

  Phineas paused halfway out the door. “Man, that Corky bitch was wack. You want me to set her straight?”

  “Nay.” Ian smiled halfheartedly. “But I appreciate the thought.”

  “Anytime, bro.” Phineas raised a fist and punched the air. “I got your back.” He closed the door as he left.

  Connor sat behind his desk and quietly studied Ian.

  “Have a go.” Ian folded his arms across his chest. “I reckon ye’re wanting to rant at me.”

  “I reckon ye’ve endured enough humiliation for one night.”

  Ian lifted his chin. “Doona hold back on my account. I have a high threshold for pain.”

  Connor’s face remained blank, though Ian detected an amused glint in his blue eyes. “Ye should have known Corky couldna be trusted.”

  “I did, and I warned Vanda. She dinna believe me.”

  Connor lounged back in his chair. “I daresay she believes you now.”

  “Aye.” Ian smiled, recalling Toni’s description of her as a screeching, flying monkey.

  “The situation is hardly amusing. I hear there are over twenty women camped out in front of the townhouse.”

  “Doona worry. They’re all gone. I took care of it.”

  Connor gave him a bland look. “And were ye careful with the disposal of the bodies?”

  “I dinna kill them!” Ian paused when he saw Connor’s mouth twitch. The damned Scotsman was playing with him. “Verra funny.”

  Connor chuckled as he rose from his chair. He approached Ian and slapped him fondly on the back. “Lad, how did ye manage to make such a mess?”

  Ian felt his face redden. “I’m trying to clean it up. I took the names and phone numbers of the women on the street. They were happy to leave after I talked to them a wee bit. The puir lassies were freezing out there.”

  Connor shook his head. “I canna imagine being that desperate for love.”

  Ian sighed. Didn’t everyone need to be loved? He’d endured twelve days of tortuous pain on Roman’s Stay-Awake drug just so he could look older and find true love. “There’s another problem. Did ye see how Cora Lee announced to the whole vampire world that I aged? Everyone will wonder how that happened.”

  “I doubt any Vamps want to age.” Connor circled his desk and sat. “But if anyone finds out that the drug enables a vampire to stay awake during the day—”

  “The drug could be used as a weapon,” Ian finished the sentence. “I’m sure the Malcontents have been dying to know how Roman managed to invade their headquarters during the day to rescue Laszlo. If they figure it out, they’ll do anything to get their hands on that drug.”

  Connor drummed his fingers on the desk. “I’ll tell Roman that we need to either hide the drug or destroy it. And we’ll increase the security here.”

  “Roman has the formula in his head,” Ian continued. “We’ll need to watch out for him.”

  “Aye.” Connor gave Ian a worried look. “When the Malcontents start looking for answers to how ye aged, ye’re going to be their first target.”

  Ian swallowed hard. While he hunted for his true love, the Malcontents could be hunting for him.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Is there a point to this?” Toni trudged along in the snow, surveying the ten-foot-high brick wall. Carlos had insisted they inspect the exterior of Shady Oaks before entering the lobby. The visitor parking was in front, the employee parking on the east side, and a guarded service entrance in the back. Now they were on the west side, traversing an area that boasted quite a few shady oaks.

  She realized her question had gone unanswered, so she turned to confront Carlos.

  He was gone.

  “Carlos?” She spun around, and her handbag slipped off her shoulder. “Carlos, where are you?”

  “Shhh, not so loud.”

  She followed the sound of his voice and spotted him high in an oak tree, lying on a thick branch that extended over the brick wall. Good grief, he had to be fifteen feet up. “Carlos, what are you doing?”

  She gaped as he jumped from the tree and landed lightly on his feet. “How’d you do that?”

  “The real question is why.” He strode toward her. “I needed to see over the wall. There’s an inner courtyard. All the surrounding buildings open onto it. I think the buildings with numbers on them are the wards where the patients are staying. The other buildings looked like a cafeteria, gymnasium, and indoor pool. It’s a fancy place.”

  “You could tell all that from the tree?”

  “Yes, and even better, I saw a handful of patients hanging around the gazebo, smoking. There was one guard with them.” He walked toward the front parking lot.

  “How is that helpful?” Toni hitched her bag back onto her shoulder and followed him.

  “All information is helpful. Now I’ll go into the lobby first and check it out. You wait here out of range of the surveillance camera.”

  “But—” She stopped when the automatic doors swooshed closed behind him. “Great. I’ll just wait here in the freezing cold.”

  The circular drive to the entrance was lined with stone statues and snow-capped boxwood hedges. She could see inside the lobby through the large plate-glass windows. It looked warm and cozy with leather sofas and easy chairs. Carlos was right about Shady Oaks being a fancy place.

  He exited, holding a piece of paper in his hand, and met her out of range of the surveillance camera. He stuffed the paper into the pocket of his leather coat.

  “What was that?” Toni asked.

  “A job application. Now here’s the layout. The receptionist is behind the information desk. There are two locked doors on each side of the lobby, leading into the east and west wings. The back wall of the lobby is glass, looking out onto the courtyard. There’s a door, but a guard is sitting in front of it.”

  “So there’s no way into the courtyard?” She sighed. “I guess it doesn’t matter, since I’m sure the wards are locked up tight.”

  “The courtyard is accessible. You’re forgetting the well-placed shady oak.”

  She grimaced. “I can’t get up that tree.”

  “You don’t have to. I will, and hopefully I can distract the guard and the receptionist in the lobby. That’s when you check the patient list I saw on the receptionist’s desk. If you find Sabrina’s name, make sure you get the ID number. We won’t be allowed to even talk to her on the phone without her ID number.”

  “Okay.” Toni stomped the mud and snow off her boots. “I’m not entirely comfortable with this espionage stuff.” And how come Carlos was so good at it? “So how are you going to distract them?”

  Too late again. Carlos had already taken off. He sprinted around the corner of the complex, headed no doubt for his favorite tree.

  “Good grief.” Toni marched in place to warm up her feet. She’d give him a few minutes to start whatever he was planning to do. She exhaled, letting the air rush out with a cloud of icy vapor, then strode into the lobby. Showtime. The autom
atic doors swooshed behind her, and the guard and receptionist both looked at her.

  It was long past visiting hours, so she was all alone.

  “May I help you?” the receptionist asked, studying her over her black-rimmed reading glasses.

  Toni glanced around quickly. She could barely see the courtyard through the window. The gazebo was dimly lit, and the shadows of patients milled about. Their cigarettes flared with little orange lights whenever they took a puff.

  The receptionist cleared her throat.

  “Ah, I was wondering…” Toni edged over to the information desk and spotted the patient list, pinned under the receptionist’s elbow. “How does someone get admitted to this hospital? I have a friend with a serious problem.”

  The receptionist gave her a wry look. “And what exactly is your friend’s problem?”

  Toni realized the woman thought she was talking about herself, so she played along. “Well, I—that is, my friend is addicted to…sex. Lots of sex. All the time. She can’t get enough.”

  “I see.” The receptionist pursed her lips. “Normally your psychologist would refer you here. You are seeing a psychologist, aren’t you? I mean, your friend.”

  Toni grinned sheepishly. “Okay, you got me. And yeah, I was seeing a therapist, but his wife caught me giving him a hummer in the backseat of his Hummer, so—”

  The receptionist pulled off her glasses. “You had sexual relations with your therapist?”

  “Sure. I sleep with all my therapists. And my doctors, my teachers, the plumber, the pigeon guy on the roof.” Where the hell was Carlos? “You know, it’s a disease.”

  Screams suddenly erupted from the courtyard, and the guard jumped to his feet to peer through the window.

  The receptionist stood. “What’s going on?”

  “I can’t tell,” the guard answered. “The patients are running all over the place.”

  The screams increased in volume and terror. What the hell was Carlos doing? Toni jumped when a patient slammed against the plate-glass window.

  “Help!” he shouted. “Let me in!”

  The guard punched a keypad to open the door.

  “You’re not supposed to let them in the lobby,” the receptionist warned.

  Just then, a loud roar filled the air and shook the glass windows. The screams from the courtyard intensified.

  A woman flung herself against the glass. “Help me! It attacked me!”

  The guard opened the door, and the two patients scurried inside.

  “Look what it did to me!” The female patient showed off her down jacket. The sleeve was ripped open so that the stuffing was falling out. “It’s a monster! A black monster with glowing eyes!”

  “Doris, take them to the clinic,” the guard ordered the receptionist. He removed a Taser from his belt. “Don’t worry, folks. I’ll take care of this…monster.” He cast an amused look at Doris. No doubt he suspected the patients at the mental hospital were crazy.

  Doris ran over to the patients. “Come. This way.” She unlocked the door to the west wing and ushered them inside.

  Screams continued in the courtyard, and Toni spotted the shadows of other patients scurrying about, banging on the doors to other buildings. Whatever Carlos was doing, he was scaring the hell out of everyone. Meanwhile, the lobby was empty. She rushed around the desk and thumbed through the patient list. There on the last page was Vanderwerth, Sabrina. Third ward. VS48732.

  Toni scribbled down the information on a notepad, tore off the page, and stuffed it in her handbag. She dashed out the front door and was halfway to Carlos’s car when she slipped on an icy patch and her feet flew out from under her. She landed hard on her hip.

  “Ow. Damn.” She eased to her feet and hobbled to the car. “Damn.” She checked her handbag to make sure the paper was still there.

  After a long, nerve-racking minute, she spotted Carlos running toward her. What the heck? He was barefoot, with his boots in one hand and his leather coat in the other. His black shirt was unbuttoned and flapped wildly as he sprinted toward her.

  He shifted his jacket to his other arm, then pulled the keys from his pants pocket. With a click on the keypad, the doors unlocked.

  He tossed his shoes and jacket on the backseat. “Did you get the info?”

  “Yes.” She opened her door. “What happened to you?”

  “Hurry.” He slid into the driver’s seat. “I overheard the guard calling the police.”

  She climbed in with her hip complaining, then buckled up. “What did you do? I heard so much screaming.”

  “I created a diversion.” He backed the car out, then zoomed toward the exit.

  She eyed his bare chest and partially buttoned pants. “Oh my God. Don’t tell me you streaked.”

  “Something like that.” He pulled out onto the street. Police sirens wailed in the distance. “We’ll come back tomorrow after things have calmed down. Visiting hours are five P.M. on Sunday. Can you make it?”

  “I think so.” Toni squinted as two police cars raced past them with flashing lights. She glanced over her shoulder and saw them pulling into the hospital parking lot. What had caused the guard to call the police? She recalled the woman with the slashed jacket. And the woman’s frantic words—a black monster with glowing eyes.

  A twinge of unease knotted her stomach. What on earth did Carlos do?

  Ian stashed the six vials of the Stay-Awake drug in the safe room in the basement of Romatech—a room completely encased in silver so that a vampire could teleport neither in nor out. The silver room was equipped with its own air supply and enough food, water, and bottled blood to keep a mortal or Vamp alive for three months.

  Meanwhile, Connor and Roman were making sure the recipe for the Stay-Awake drug was erased from all computer files. Now there were only two sources for the formula—a CD in the silver room and Roman’s brain. Connor wanted to send Roman and his family into hiding, but Roman didn’t think the situation was dire enough yet.

  Since Ian still had a few vacation days left, Connor didn’t expect him to stick around, so he teleported back to the townhouse. In the fifth-floor office, he connected the computer to the tracking device in Toni’s handbag. He zoomed in on her location. Shady Oaks Psychiatric Hospital? Why would Carlos take her there? The light started blinking. They were on the move.

  His cell phone rang, and he retrieved it from his sporran. “Hello?”

  “Ian, this is Vanda,” she whispered. “I need you to come to the club, but not to the entrance or the main room. Teleport straight to my voice.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Just come here now!” she hissed.

  “All right.” He focused on her voice. A few seconds later, he arrived in a dark room next to Vanda.

  He glanced around. Scattered on the floor around low tables were overstuffed, tasseled pillows in red, purple, and gold silk. The walls were covered with sheer drapes of red and gold. On the tabletops, candles flickered inside golden mosaic glass, casting sparkly lights around the room. Music and more light filtered through the open cutwork of carved wooden screens that lined one side of the room.

  “What is this place?” he whispered.

  “The VIP room,” Vanda replied. “Since we were harem ladies, we thought it would be cool to make it look like a harem. The screen folds open, so the VIP customers can look over the railing at the action below. But if they want privacy, we close the screen.”

  Ian peered through a hole in the screen. Sure enough, the Horny Devils nightclub was below. In front of the stage, lady Vamps bounced merrily in time with the music while the male dancer on stage spun around in a black, flowing vampire cape. Beneath the cape he was naked, except for a black bow tie and red, sparkly bikini underwear.

  Ian winced. Dracula would roll over in his grave.

  “By the way, all the girls down there have been asking about you,” Vanda said. “They want to meet you.”

  “Why? So they can laugh at me?”

  Vanda
snorted. “Actually, they all want the honor of being the one to take your virginity.”

  “Bloody hell,” he muttered. “Did ye tell them they’re about five hundred years too late?”

  “I tried to, but they prefer Corky’s version. I suspect they think being your first will make them famous and give them some airtime on Corky’s show.”

  “Och. So it’s fame and no’ me that attracts them. Was there an important reason ye called me here?”

  “I’m afraid so.” Vanda peered through the screen. “Look at the bar.”

  His gaze shifted to Cora Lee, whose blonde head was close to a stocky male Vamp. Ian’s stomach twisted as recognition clicked in place. “Dammit to hell.”

  Vanda cast him a worried look. “Then you know who he is?”

  “Aye. Jedrek Janow.” Ian had last seen the murderous Malcontent in the Ukraine the night he’d gone there with Jean-Luc and others to help rescue Angus and Emma. Jedrek had been there with Casimir, but when the Malcontents started to lose the battle, both Jedrek and Casimir teleported away, leaving their Russian comrades behind to be vanquished.

  Shanna’s father and his CIA Stake-Out team maintained a constant surveillance of the Russian-American vampires, and they kept Connor informed since he’d managed to plant the listening devices in their headquarters. Unfortunately, the bugs had been destroyed a few nights ago. Jedrek was being thorough.

  “He usually hangs out in Eastern Europe,” Ian explained, “but he’s recently been put in charge of the Russian-American coven in Brooklyn.”

  “But he’s Polish,” Vanda protested.

  “Half Polish, half Russian, and Casimir’s right-hand man.” Ian regarded Vanda curiously. “How do ye know him?”

  A hint of pain flickered across her face. “Let’s just say he got along really well with the Nazis. He’s a vicious killer, and he enjoys it.”

  “A Malcontent poster boy.” Ian peered through the screen. “He’s drinking Bleer to fool Cora Lee into thinking he’s a regular Vamp.”

  “Unfortunately, it’s not that hard to fool Cora Lee.”

  Ian strained his ears, but he couldn’t hear Jedrek’s low voice over the din of loud music and squealing women. “I need to know what he’s saying.”