I shut the door and leaned against it, dreading the rest of the day.
Well, forget that!
I wasn’t going to hang around waiting to have my broken heart dug out with a dull spoon, I was running away. Well, not entirely, but I could drive into town and kill time, or just—drive. Anything other than wait here for the inevitable.
I dumped food in Chip’s and Trixie’s bowls, which they inhaled in record time. I let them outside, then hurriedly showered and threw on jeans and a t-shirt. I grabbed my keys and flung open the door, locking it behind me, intending to call the dogs and flee. I forgot my purse, but I wasn’t going back for it. If a cop wanted to arrest me for not having my driver’s license that was just fine, as long as Polly and her grandson didn’t come bail me out!
I whirled around and collided with someone.
It was Polly’s grandson. I jumped backwards as though I’d been electrocuted, my back hitting the door, and my keys falling to the ground.
I stared at him as panic threatened to overwhelm me, and fought to keep the memories from flooding in.
“Hi,” I stammered.
“Hi back,” he smiled.
Too late.
I knew this would happen eventually. I couldn’t avoid him forever. It was just—hard enough to try and overcome the grief of losing my friend without his double right in front of me, a very tangible reminder of what I lost. Add the injustice that they share the same name, and it just did not put me in a good mental place. It would put me in a medical mental place, at this rate.
As soon as Miles and I found proof and he was gone, I should have gone, too. I shouldn’t have stayed here. And next year Polly’s grandson would be at the same college I was, and—
He startled me when he reached out and grabbed me by the shoulders. I fought and tried to pull away, but my back was against the door, and he wouldn’t let go. He had no idea how lucky he was that I wasn’t packing pepper spray!
“Anika, snap out of it and listen!” he said urgently. “It’s me, Miles. I’m not Second-Miles.”
I stopped struggling and stared at him, my mind thick.
“Anika, it’s me. It’s really me. I’m not Second-Miles, Anika… it’s me, Miles.”
I stared at him, trying to comprehend the incomprehensible. No one knew that’s what I called Polly’s grandson, except—Miles. My Miles.
“M-miles?”
Miles smiled.
I burst into tears, and threw my arms around him.
He hugged me tightly, while I cried as I never had before. In spite of the many tears I’d shed, there were so many more that I hadn’t. I’d held in so much, putting on an Oscar winning performance in front of everyone, hoping they wouldn’t guess that my heart was hopelessly broken. But somehow, impossibly, Miles was here. He was ALL here, solid, I could feel the steady beat of his heart as I stood there and held onto him for dear life, overwhelmed by uncontrollable emotion and soaking his t-shirt with my tears, while he held me and told me over and over that it was okay, that everything was okay now.
Eventually, my hysterical sobbing settled down to a somewhat manageable level. Miles held me back and looked at me, gently brushing back the side-swept bangs that I didn’t take the time to try and tame with hairspray in my haste to run away, and which insisted on falling across my face. I looked into his gorgeous brown and green flecked eyes, even more amazing now that he was here, all the way here. Hesitantly at first, I touched his face, ran my fingers through his hair, felt of his shoulders, his chest, reassuring myself. It was too good to be true, but it was true! I traced the faint scar on his jaw. I wasn’t dreaming, somehow he’d come back to me, all the way back. The happy tears continued to rain down, and I wiped them away so I could see him better, knowing that the scent of the aftershave he wore, would always remind me of the happiest day of my life.
Miles’ eyes were laughing as he cradled my cheek in his hand and brushed away more tears with his thumb.
“So I take it you’re not glad to see me?”
I laughed through the tears, lightly slapping his very solid chest with the back of my hand.
“Careful,” he smiled. “I bruise now. And I’m pretty sure you’ve already cracked some ribs.”
I put my arms around him again and squeezed even tighter, just for that. Miles laughed softly, and hugged me back just as tightly.
“I love you, Anika,” he said.
“I love you too, Miles,” I said, as a few more happy tears joined all the others on his very damp t-shirt.
The sky was never more beautiful than it was today, and the roses never smelled so sweet. The birds sang their trilling songs as if they, too, understood that now, everything was right with the world.
Several days later—okay, probably more like an hour later, I finally ran out of tears, and Miles loosened the vice-like grip I had on him and held me back again.
“Do you mind if we sit down? I’m not sure how much longer my knee can hold up.”
“Of course,” I said, looking down at the brace on his leg and keeping an arm around him, as I tightly clutched the side of his t-shirt in one hand, and the front of his entirely soaked shirt with the other. “I hope you know I’m never letting you go again.”
Miles laughed, his arm was around me, also.
“That’s just fine. You won’t hear me complain.”
We walked towards the fountain, and the swing that was conveniently built for two.
As we sat down, Trixie bounded up and barreled into Miles’ chest. He winced and hugged her, at the same time. Chip had to get in on the attention, too. He was thrilled to find that this friend who only talked and threw sticks to him before, was now able to touch him. I felt the same way, minus the stick part. I begrudgingly gave them a minute, then pretended to throw a ball, and the attention hogs—I mean, dogs—took off.
Miles turned to face me. He looked so amazing, so healthy, so solid, that happy light shining in his eyes.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” I said, gripping his hand, the tears threatening to start again. “I missed you so much it was unbearable.”
“I missed you, too,” Miles said. “So what did you decide to do, go on a hunger strike? If you were any thinner, you’d be semi-transparent yourself.”
I laughed at that, as Miles continued.
“Grandma Polly was right, you are wasting away. It’s a good thing I’m back, or you might have pulled a Romeo and Juliet. Only that would make me Juliet and you Romeo, so never mind that analogy.”
I laughed again, but the look in Miles’ eyes told me he was genuinely concerned.
“I admit, I was wasting away. Inside, anyway. I wasn’t trying to hurt myself, but I was unbearably depressed after you left. To do anything—it took too much effort. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep... about all I could do was cry, and miss you,” my voice trembled, and I barely kept more tears from escaping.
Miles looked at me softly, then hugged me.
“If I thought I’d never see you again… I wouldn’t have done any better.”
“I’ll be fine, now that you’re here,” I reassured him.
Miles sat back, but kept his arm around me.
“You have no idea how I hounded Grandma Polly about you. I wanted to be sure you were alright, that you were taking care of yourself. You sure had her fooled, by the way. She was shocked when she saw you this morning, she’s in the kitchen right now giving orders to the chef to cook a carb-laden breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Plus snacks in between.”
I laughed. Funny Polly. That was fine with me though, for the first time since Miles left, I actually felt hungry again.
“I wanted to know way more than Grandma Polly was ever able to tell me, though. She couldn’t tell me if you were dating, or if you’d fallen in love with another guy in my absence, and believe me that thought was unbearable. It was bad enough when I was semi-transparent, even though I didn’t want you wasting your life on me then. But once I was all me again, all I wanted was to ge
t back to you before you moved on so far, I’d never be able to reach you. I nearly went crazy waiting for the doctors to decide to release me. I can’t tell you how I regretted all the encouragement I gave you to move on, move forward, to find someone else.”
“As if I could possibly do that,” I said, holding his hand with both of mine. “When you left… my heart went with you, and I couldn’t move on without it.”
“I know,” he said softly. “When I saw you, I knew. I couldn’t move on, either.”
“I’m so glad you didn’t, I’m so glad you’re here,” I said, master of the understatement.
“I’m glad to be here,” he smiled, and I smiled back, using his completely soggy t-shirt to wipe fresh tears, which made him laugh.
“You’re proving that the human body really is made up mostly of water. You’re going to vanish entirely, if you keep this up.”
I laughed.
“So... what happened to you, after you vanished?” I wondered.
“It was the craziest thing. I went from sitting beside you in the parlor reading the letter, to an episode of ER. Doctors and nurses were frantic. I was in a lot of pain, I think I may have passed out. The next thing I knew, people were ordering me to wake up. I didn’t remember falling asleep, and I was so tired, too tired to think straight. It sort of dawned on me I hadn’t been tired in an awfully long time, but I was now, with a vengeance. I just wanted to sleep, so I pretended I was, hoping they would give up and leave me alone. It didn’t work, they were extremely persistent, and tried even harder to wake me.
“As I became more alert, I started to wonder who these people were, and where I was. Not in heaven, that much was obvious, and the realization was more than a little alarming. So I opened my eyes, and discovered I was in a surgical recovery room. Not that I knew that’s what it was, at first.”
“You must have been so… surprised, and confused,” I said, as I tried to imagine what that was like for him.
“Bewildered is probably the best word to describe what I felt. I was lying in a hospital bed in a small curtained room, hooked up to an IV, and a heart monitor, and I’m not sure what else. I was still in pain, though not as excruciating. My shoulder was bandaged, and my right leg immobilized. There were several people in scrubs crammed into the room with me, and they all knew my name. I asked where I was, and some of them got kind of emotional, which at the time, confused me even more. None of it made sense. It wasn’t until later when I saw the detective, that I realized who they thought I was.
“One of the nurses answered my question though, and told me I’d just come out of surgery, and was in recovery. I somehow sustained life-threatening injuries to my shoulder and knee, and if they hadn’t started a blood transfusion when they did, I wouldn’t have made it. But they did, and she assured me I was in stable condition. The surgeries went well, and I’ll need a lot of physical therapy, but the doctors expect me to recover completely.”
“Oh my goodness, that makes me sick to think of you coming back and then almost dying all over again!” I felt the blood run out of my face at the horrifying thought.
“That didn’t happen though,” Miles said in the same tone he might use to talk someone off a ledge. “The doctors and nurses jumped into action, and saved my life. Don’t get stuck in that moment, it’s over, and I’m here.”
“Okay,” I said, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. “This is the moment I want to be stuck in, here with you now. And you are all you.”
I traced the faint scar on his jawline with my fingers again.
“Yes, all me. No brain injury like Polly’s grandson suffered. He was brain-dead, Anika. He was gone a long time ago, months before we even met. The doctors removed the ventilator to perform an apnea test to confirm that, right before they got the shock of their lives. Suddenly I was there, the person they thought they’d been treating all along, awake and with massive bleeding from gunshot wounds. No one will ever be able to explain that. No one’s asked me about it, I’m the least likely to know. I was in a coma since I hit the ground, they think. They’re referring to the injuries as having been sustained during the fall. You haven’t heard about it in the news, and I don’t expect you ever will. Unless someone wants to try and pin an alien abduction spin on it, years from now. You know, person speaking from behind a screen, ‘I was working at the hospital when the strangest thing happened…’”
“So... is that why Polly said there was no change, when I called her the next afternoon, after you left? They hadn’t told her?”
“Right. They were probably too freaked out by the whole thing to know what to say. Just imagine it, ‘We’ve got good news and bad news, ma’am. He’s awake and breathing on his own, but removing the respirator resulted in multiple gunshot wounds.’ I was through surgery, out of recovery, and talking to a detective, before they contacted Grandma Polly.”
“Wow,” I said, resting against his uninjured shoulder. “But what about Alfred, and the attempted murder charges?”
“Somehow, I was given that memory. I remember it like I was there, seeing everything happen. Alfred tried to kill him. He was willing to commit murder, to get his hands on the estate. As large as my family was once, the only relations left at that time were Second-Miles and Alfred. He followed Second-Miles, and intentionally bumped into, and invited Second-Miles to join him on a hike. Second-Miles remembered him as a distant relation, and agreed. Alfred took Second-Miles by surprise, and pushed him over the edge of the cliff. Then he took Second-Miles’ identification and disposed of his car, so there would be nothing to indicate Second-Miles’ identity.
“How horrible!” I exclaimed, unable to imagine how callous a person would have to be to do that. Trying to kill him was bad enough, but then to take his identification as he lay there injured, and his life slipping away, and to have no compassion... it was incomprehensible.
“Yeah. It really is,” agreed Miles. “It’s a slight consolation that because his injuries were so severe, he was unconscious and didn’t feel pain. Somehow he lived until another hiker found him and the paramedics got him to the hospital, but no one could survive that fall, not with the injuries Second-Miles sustained. If it wasn’t for the machines that were breathing for him, his body wouldn’t have survived that long.”
“You ended up in Second-Miles’ hospital bed… what happened to him?” I wondered.
“I do not know,” said Miles. “I’ve wondered that myself.”
“Maybe… he took your place?”
“Maybe so.”
“Wow. Just—wow.”
We sat for several long minutes in silence and processed it all. Tried to process it, anyway.
“I am just so glad you’re here, all the way here,” I said, as Miles kissed the back of my hand, and I used the other to squeeze his bicep. “You’ve been working out.”
Miles laughed.
“Physical therapy, baby. They work you to death there. Nearly.”
I took a deep breath, which was so much easier to do now that the heavy weight of loss was removed.
“I missed you so much,” Miles said. “It was awful being forced to stay in the hospital for over a month. The food really is as bad as people say. Imagine, going without food for over a hundred and forty years, and that’s what you wake up to. The worst thing was having to wait to see you, to tell you what happened. It was the longest month and a half I’ve ever spent, and that’s saying something.”
I groaned.
“It was for me, too. I should have flown up like Polly wanted. I just—didn’t know you’d be there, and I couldn’t face seeing your double. She kept pressuring me to come meet you. She so obviously wanted to set us up, and made it clear you’d be all for that.”
“I couldn’t hide how I felt about you, and didn’t really try. Grandma Polly never questioned it. I guess she thought after being at an all-male prep academy for several years, and then in a coma for most of one, it was only natural I’d fall hard and fast as soon as I saw your photo.
After all, you are the most beautiful girl in the world. Of course I was desperate to meet you, before some other guy could swoop in.”
I blushed, and laughed.
“Yeah, like any other guy ever had a chance! I can’t believe you worried about that. All I ever thought about was you, and if I’d known it was you there in that hospital, nothing could have stopped me from coming to you,” I declared. Then I pushed Miles back slightly, and raised an eyebrow. “So I hear you have an iPhone. Why did you not call, and tell me!”
“I couldn’t, I didn’t have your number. As much as I begged, and believe me I did, Grandma Polly wouldn’t give it to me. She was a stickler for the ‘no cell phone use’ rule while in the hospital. For some reason using it to watch your video was okay with her, while calling wasn’t. Believe me, I wracked my brain trying to think of ways to contact you. I even looked your parents up, hoping to convince them to give me your number. I wasn’t sure how receptive they’d be to that, but I was desperate. I couldn’t find a number for them, though. Either it’s unlisted, or they don’t have a landline.”
“Well I want your number,” I said, taking my iPhone out and snapping a picture of the cutest guy ever. “I don’t want to ever lose touch with you again.”
Miles gave me his number, and I gave him mine.
“Don’t expect to have to use it much, though,” he said. “I don’t plan on being very far from you, ever again.”
“That’s just fine,” I smiled. “You won’t hear me complain.”
Miles smiled back as we both put our iPhones in our pockets, then settled into the swing once more.
“So have you tried walking through any walls lately?” I joked.
Miles laughed.
“Yeah, I ran into a couple of them at the hospital. It’s hard to get used to doing things the old-fashioned way, again. I got put through more tests, as a result. They were just sure my missing brain injury was reappearing. That probably contributed to the decision not to release me sooner. They must have thought I was a major Star Wars fanatic too, more than once I forgot, and tried to use the ‘force’ to pick up things.”
Miles Page 29
