Cinder by Ashes

by Pinder, Victoria

“There you are,” he said. “What happened?”

  With anyone else, I’d just pretend nothing had happened, but I held him tight and said, “Lana. My stepmother. I … She thinks I’m only with you because you’re rich.”

  I pulled back to see into his blue eyes, but he cupped my cheeks and asked, “Who cares what she thinks?”

  My lips curved down and my body felt drained of emotion. He led me to sit down and I said, “I know I shouldn’t care.”

  Until now, my goal had always been complete independence, but Jesse was somehow easy to trust. He sat down across from me and said, “But you do. So why?”

  Sweet music of the celebration of love buzzed in the air. My brother and Vanessa were absent from the dance floor now. Around us, everyone was happy. I kept my voice low and said, “Because I spent years wishing for the impossible.”

  He scooted closer and asked, “What was that?”

  I let out a small laugh and ignored how my eyes were all misty as I met his gaze. “That she might see that I was a good person and want to act like a proper stepmother to me.”

  He curled our fingers together and said, “I don’t know what it’s like to wish for anything like that. I do know what it’s like to be a mirror for someone else’s obsession, but otherwise invisible. But with me, you will never have to wish for anything.”

  For one moment, I closed my eyes and imagined that what he said was true. If I knew I was loved, seriously, then who knew what might happen? Maybe I’d trust my own heart more.

  Tears washed down my face, but I wiped them away and opened my eyes as I heard footsteps. I glanced up and Jason and Coco were standing beside us. Jason asked Jesse, “Is everything okay with Emily?”

  I didn’t hear his response because Coco bent down and patted my arm and asked, “Em?”

  I ignored the pangs in my heart as I gazed up at her. I said, “Coco, I heard you with your mom. Thanks.”

  “It’s okay.” Her lips narrowed and she crouched down beside me. “In seven weeks I move out anyhow, or she can kick me out now, too. I don’t care.”

  “She won’t,” I said quickly, and smiled at her. Coco was her own daughter, after all. “Unlike me, she loves you.”

  Coco patted my arm again and said, “She doesn’t love anyone, including herself. Just don’t let her bother you anymore.”

  Wise words, and probably true. But I couldn’t let it go. I’d tried for years and years now. I glanced at Jesse. The light in his eyes was intense and calmed me somehow. He took my hand like he could read my mind and said, “Come on, let’s get going, Em.”

  I stood and hugged my friends who had been there for me when I needed them. I said, “I … thanks again, Jason, Coco.”

  Jesse squeezed my hand and I walked out of the ballroom with him. We went outside to the vineyard, just like last night. As the doors closed behind us and I knew that neither Lana, Cleo nor anyone else could see us anymore, I breathed deeper. When we made it to the steps, Jesse asked, “She’s your stepsister? Weren’t there two of them?”

  I nodded. Last night, before we’d met, he’d chatted briefly with both of them. I wished I wasn’t in high heels. I’d love to walk in the fields and not care about my clothes or fancy shoes. But I leaned on the stone balustrade and said, “Cleo. She was awful to me.”

  He walked me down the steps, and when we reached the bottom, he said, “We can make them jealous if you want.”

  He pointed toward the side path we had taken last night that led around the building. I walked with him but shook my head. “No, no, no. I just want to forget.”

  He stood a foot taller than me, and it seemed he was also smarter than me right now as he said, “You’ll never be able to do that.”

  I swung our hands as we walked. I said, “Maybe you’re right. I want to forgive, and then never think about them, ever again.”

  He placed his hand on my back as we made it to the front of the building and turned into the parking lot. “That’s what makes you so noble, Em.”

  My insides were scrambled. A moment ago, Lana’s words were like icy daggers to my heart, but now, with Jesse, I was warm again. I pressed my lips together and said, “I’m not that. I’m pretty ordinary.”

  “No.” He massaged my lower back and pointed to one of the cars in the lot as he said, “Most people will hold onto their anger till it turns their heart to stone.”

  I nodded. “More from your reading.”

  “No. Not from books.” He clicked a button on a key fob as we approached the silver Rolls-Royce Cullinan that I’d watched him step out of when he’d arrived. He opened the passenger door and helped me in, then took the driver’s seat. A moment later, he started the car. I didn’t even ask where we were going.

  As we turned onto the road, he said, “I’ve known people who have been jealous of me since I started school.”

  “I wouldn’t know what that’s like.” I leaned my head back and stared at the grey fabric ceiling of the car and ignored the butterflies in my stomach. “I spent years cooking and cleaning, and showering outside, while Lana drank the coffee I made for her and pretended like I didn’t exist. All I wanted for years was to be … loved. I see now I will never be loved by her.”

  We drove down the road and I was starting to feel a little lighter until he said, “I was wrong about you, on the phone.”

  Now adrenaline pumped in my veins. I didn’t want Jesse to ever think I couldn’t handle whatever life tossed my way, or to judge me because I wasn’t raised with a silver spoon. I arched my eyebrow and asked, “You were?”

  His lips curled into his sexy smile that showed off those dimples and he said, “I thought you wanted a boyfriend. I see now the longing was for so much more. I wish I’d known how special you were, even then.”

  “Just hold me, Jesse, and don’t let go,” I said, and curled my hand into his arm.

  Life with Jesse, and our future together at Austen, was going to be amazing. This was all I should focus on. From now on, life was good. And the past needed to be buried with a shovel and never examined, ever again. This was my dream.

  Chapter 12

  Emily

  What if Lana was right? The question flared up in my mind as we drove along. Had I learned from her? Had I internalized her love for money? Was that why I was so drawn to Jesse? With that one horrible thought, my stomach tightened like I’d just swallowed bleach and needed to be rushed to the hospital.

  But I wasn’t anything like her. I couldn’t be. Ever.

  My heart raced and my palms were sweating. I closed my eyes and tried to soak in the fresh air from the open window.

  I had a sudden flashback of how my father used to grill burgers in the backyard and swat my mom’s behind. Her face was always red when I saw her, clearly embarrassed, but also trying not to laugh. The best times I remembered with my family had nothing to do with money.

  Jesse was nothing like anyone I’d ever met before. He was so special. Knee-deep awesome. I’d be drawn to him even if he didn’t have a dollar to his name. I moved closer to him and closed my window a bit, so the wind didn’t howl in my ear, and asked, “Where are we going?”

  “I have no plan.” He glanced at me quickly and then returned his attention to the road and the small hill we were going over. He added, “You seemed like you needed to get away.”

  I let out a long sigh. He already knew me so well. I smiled up at him and said, “You read that right.”

  He tapped the steering wheel and asked, “Do you want to head back? Or go anywhere?”

  My heart thumped. I needed to escape Lana. Her voice was still in my head, telling me I’d scored a billionaire. I pressed my lips together and said, “No …”

  If I denied what I wanted, out of spite for Lana, to somehow prove her wrong, then I denied myself, too. My heart pounded, but I reached out and rested my palm on his leg. “Wait. Yes. Did you mean it when you said you’d come see me in Florida?”

  We continued down the road, but he lifted my hand and k
issed it. “Yes. You’re the first and only person I’ve wanted, ever, Em.”

  My heart lifted in my chest. This was it. My pulse zipped but I told him what I wanted. “Then let’s head back and sneak up to your room. I’m assuming your parents won’t find us.”

  He gazed at me and his eyes had a glimmer. He turned back to the road, but his face was slightly pinker. “They never check on me.”

  I drew my legs up under me and twisted toward him under my seat belt. “Look, I’m not sure I can … have sex right now. But I want to believe you, and I will have time to know you, physically. For now, I need us to be where no one will ask me questions later. I can’t figure out anything, other than that I want to be alone with you.”

  He patted my leg and I sat back down. He winked at me and said, “I have an idea, if you trust me.”

  My breathing was fast, and my skin was hot, but I said, “Okay. What?”

  He rolled down his window and let the air blow over us. He said, “Since you won’t run away with me, how about we go to a nearby hotel—where no family is staying, so no one sees anyone in a hallway. We can stay as long as you want, and we can just talk. But if no one sees us, no one can ask questions.”

  “Okay. I love the plan.” I rested my head on the seat behind me and ignored how my skin still pulsed. “Lana makes me crazy.”

  “I can’t imagine,” he said. He pointed to a sign that said a mile to the next exit and I nodded. But then his lips thinned as he said, ”No one’s ever abused me like that. You shouldn’t have to see the ones who hurt you ever again.”

  “Sounds nice,” I said and wiped my sudden tears. Then, I took a deep breath and said, “I haven’t had an easy life for the past five years, but at least, as a little girl, I knew my parents loved me.”

  We made it to the exit and followed the arrow to the right as he said, “Well, that’s good.”

  “And, my brother is awesome.” I shifted my feet under the seat. I thought about Stone and how he’d saved my life. I’d have freaked out if he hadn’t shown up. My voice was a little higher as I said, “I hope he gets what he wants.”

  A few minutes later, we pulled up in front of a hotel. Jesse held my hand as he led me inside. My entire body was tingling as I waited in the lobby while he checked us in. He handed over his credit card and, a moment later, the clerk handed him two plastic cards. He returned to my side and handed me one as he asked, “Did you save my number on your phone?”

  We walked to the elevator and I ignored the fast beat of my heart as he held my hand again. My face heated and I said, “I put a heart next to your name before I went to bed last night.”

  He took out the latest iPhone to show me the screen, and said, “I put ‘girlfriend’ as your name.”

  He handed me the phone and I stared at it as he hit the elevator button for the top floor, number four. The doors closed and my lips pressed together as his phone beeped and I saw Helen’s name pop up, with more eggplants. I held it up to show him and said, “You’re getting more emojis.”

  He took the phone and clicked the screen. “Helen …” He typed quickly and handed the phone back to me. “Read what I wrote to her.”

  I swallowed and read his message out loud. “I met someone. Do you mean me?”

  The elevator doors opened and he led me to room 411. He slipped his white card into the door slot and held the door for me as he said, “F yes!”

  I squeezed his arm and headed in. The room had one queen bed and open windows that looked out on another vineyard. He let the door close behind him and said, “Open my browser.”

  I did as he asked. Then, I sat on a nearby chair and reached down to take off my shoes as I scrolled through photos of houses and condos. “What are these?”

  He took his suit jacket off and hung it properly in the closet. “Properties I own in Florida. I’m waiting to find out your address there.”

  Me too, if I was honest. I swallowed and stood up again. The soles of my feet had a bit of a pinch in them and it felt good to be out of my heels. He placed his hand on my back and I asked, “When we get to Austen, how close will you be living?”

  He led me to the bed and sat on the edge as he quickly sent an address and a photo to my phone.

  I took it out and stared at the cracked screen. He was more in town, which was a fifteen-minute bus ride from campus and near the beach. I was assigned a dorm room with three other women. “Thank you.”

  “We’ll do the virtual tour from my realtor, later,” he said and put his phone on the bedside table. I put mine there as well.

  I sat beside him and he said, “I want you to believe that you’re the only girl I’ve ever really wanted to spend time with. And we don’t have to do anything right now. I’d rather know for a fact that we’ll have the next four years of our lives to be together.”

  He took my fingers and pressed them to his heart. I lowered my lashes but asked, “How are you this sweet to me?”

  He bit his lower lip and stilled. I could sense how tense he was as he said, “You asked me to be your Prince Charming, so I’m trying.”

  My eyes widened and I stared up at him as I asked, “Really?”

  Goosebumps grew on my arms and even on my chest when he said, “When we get to Austen, I want to be the kind of man you can depend on.”

  He was perfect already. I kissed his cheek and said, “You already are, Jesse.”

  He lowered his head, but I saw his slight blush as he said, “You’ve made me come alive. I’ve never been like this before, and I don’t want whatever is happening between us to stop.”

  I could hardly breathe. This was it. He was everything I’d ever imagined. I ignored how tense I was now. I stood and reached behind my back for the zipper on my dress. “It won’t. Being with you is all I want.”

  He stood up and moved behind me, and his warm breath on my neck made my hairs stand up as he kissed me. He said, “Me, too.” He put his hand on the zipper and I stilled, but he asked, “Are you sure?”

  This was it. I had the chance to say "no" and run. But I turned my head and blinked as I met his gaze. “For once, yes. Help me. Then kiss me, Jesse.”

  “Always, Em.” He unzipped my dress, but then spun my hips around so I faced him. My lips puckered as he said, “You’re mine, and now I get to show you.”

  Good. As he kissed me, I knew this was everything I’d ever want. He was the man of my dreams, and tonight, we were celebrating. Nothing else mattered.

  Chapter 13

  Emily

  My body was still warm from the shower. Jesse took one now, but when

  the water in the bathroom turned off, my heart beat faster. I wasn’t sure what I wanted next. But then, my phone beeped. I grabbed it and saw a 412-number had texted me: Someone broke into your room.

  My heart spiked. All of my cash was there. My money was my only security. When Jesse came out of the bathroom, I pressed my hand on my chest and said, “Jesse, we have to go.”

  “What happened?” He said, as he tugged on his suit jacket.

  I fastened my heels back on and said, “Someone broke into my room at the hotel.”

  “Let’s go.”

  My heart was racing as we took the elevator to the lobby and Jesse checked us out. In the parking lot, he pulled out his keys and opened the car doors. I rushed past him and jumped into the passenger seat.

  My money was my only means of making it through college. I’d spent years amassing it so I could be independent. Adrenaline rushed in my veins and my palms were sweating.

  The trip back was a blur. Jesse dropped me at the front door, and as I climbed out of the car, I called out, “I’ll find you soon, Jesse.”

  I was about to slam the door, but he said, “Be safe. I’ll park and run up behind you. But if I miss you, I’ll be right there. In the lobby.”

  I nodded and waved.

  He drove off and I ran inside at full speed. My cousins, including the bride and groom, were all gathered in a huddle, but Jason spotted me first.
He waved me over and said, “Emily, they’re arresting Stone.”

  My entire body stilled and I grew cold. My brother? I swallowed, but I asked, “What? Why?”

  Jason crossed his arms but kept his head down as he said, “Lana said he attacked her. It stopped the whole wedding.”

  My eyes widened. I stared at him and swallowed frozen air in my lungs. Stone would never do that. He was nothing but sweet, so this made no sense. “That’s impossible.”

  Jason led me toward the group, but then I saw Stone sitting alone in a chair in the ballroom. I ignored the others, and the police officers who were swarming around, talking to Vanessa and the hotel management. I made a beeline to my brother. I went to my knees and asked, “Stone, what’s going on?”

  He took a breath and his face was a little red when he said, “Em, you’re okay!”

  I wasn’t the one in handcuffs. My stomach twisted in my gut and I said, “Of course.”

  He lowered his head and closed his eyes for a second like he was saying a prayer. Then, he met my gaze and said, “I thought she might have trapped you somewhere, since you were nowhere around when all this happened. I’m happy you’re okay.”

  The past hour with Jesse had changed me, but not enough to forget my family. I scooted closer to him. “She made me angry and I took off for a drive with Jesse.” An officer came closer to us with a pen and paper in his hand. I stood and asked Stone, “Why are you cuffed?”

  “Lana.” He rolled his eyes. “She said I hit her, but I was here, at the reception or with Vanessa, the entire time. They’re checking the security camera footage now.”

  I pivoted and stared at the man in the blue uniform. I lifted my chin and said, “Officer, Lana was my stepmother. She kept me away from my brother and my family for five years. My brother here saved me. He came to Pittsburgh to get me when she threw me out, and he brought me here.”

  Stone gasped. I saw the officer write down what I’d said, then add “motive” and underline it. He asked, “Is that right?”