Free To Be

by Adam Lynch

  “Insanity…” says Judan.

  Talden laughs. “There you have it, my brothers and sister. The man said so himself. He refuses to submit. He no longer has a place here… alive. Today, he’ll either be free of this fort, or free of this world.” He faces Akio. “That depends on you. If you kill me, you may have your freedom… but if you fail, I’ll show you no mercy. Now if this is what you want, then show me how much.”

  “I won’t lose!” he declares, and charges Talden like a bull.

  “No, Akio! Stop!” wails Yumi as Talden dodges and shoves him forward to stumble over himself.

  His head boiling, Akio charges again. He flurries attacks, but nothing breaks Talden’s guard.

  Talden is over six feet, several inches taller than Akio. He’s as strong as three Leferians collectively. He’s also a professionally trained fighter—while Akio and the rest of us are not. We all know this. Akio knows this. I know he knows this… so why is he set on fighting him? I don’t understand…

  Akio attacks one way and another, but Talden deflects them all.

  Akio rushes in to grab his waist, but Talden catches him, picks him up, and slams him on the ground.

  “Akio! Stop already! You have no chance against him. This is pointless,” whines Yumi.

  “Enough, Yumi!” Shouts Katsu suddenly, surprising everyone. “Let him live his life how he wants.”

  Akio charges yet again. He can’t find an opening. He can’t catch a break. But he charges anyway, knowing he’ll get pushed back every time.

  Yumi’s right. His efforts are pointless, but it’s obvious he knows that. Why then? Why is he sacrificing himself like this? Why challenge him when he knows he’ll lose?

  Wait… I think I get it… it’s because it’s his choice to do so.

  He knows he can’t win, but he wants to choose how this scene plays out… but at what cost, Akio? Why are you doing this? Why couldn’t you simply take the punishment and work on a second escape plan later down the road?

  “Akio!” cries Yumi as Talden thrashes him to the ground again, the cracking sound of his bones making it all the way to my ears.

  For a second, he doesn’t budge. When he attempts, his body shakes. He tries sitting up, but falls back on his back. He pants. Talden hovers over him, glaring and balling his fists.

  We watch and pray for Akio… hoping he still has more in him.

  “Get up, Akio!” shouts Sadao. “Show that bastard it’s not over yet!”

  Akio finds the strength to sit up, then pants with his head down. Then, he glares at his enemy who towers over him. He struggles to his feet while catching his breath.

  Screaming suddenly, Akio goes to kick Talden’s knee caps, but is deflected.

  Talden grabs him. They scowl at each other.

  Akio headbutts him, but it does no damage seemingly.

  Talden headbutts back with twice the force. Akio’s head knocks back, blood splattering out of his face and onto Talden’s. He ignores it and punches him… then again and again...

  “Akio! No!” wails Yumi.

  “Fight back!” shouts Sadao.”

  I look at Katsu for his reaction. He’s lifeless. His head faces down. His hair covers his face. He hasn’t budged an inch this whole fight…

  I’m terrified, but I can’t look away. I want Akio to win, but I know he can’t. Is this it? No… it can’t be. Akio will keep fighting. He will turn this fight around. I know he will. I have to believe it.

  Akio endures another punch, and then another. Every punch received is more blood flying off his face and onto Talden’s. He grunts, but he never cries out. He never shouts for help. In fact, even now, he doesn’t look the least bit scared. He’s furious… and that seems to keep him coming.

  Talden releases him, and then goes for a finishing punch.

  Akio catches it, and holds it with all the strength he has left.

  “What are you holding my hand for?” Bam. Talden hits him with his other fist and down he goes.

  Talden follows him to the ground and grips him by the neck. Then, he initiates another series of punishing blows. More bones crack… more blood splatters.

  When Akio stops responding, Talden pauses to assess.

  He’s seemingly lifeless… until he coughs. He does so again until his throat is clear enough to breathe… but his breaths are slow... and silent.

  Tears run down the faces of everyone close to him—for Akio, that’s almost all of us. Akio is someone we look up to for hope and inspiration. No matter how ridiculous and impossible his goals seemed, his charisma would brainwash us to believe that the irrational and impossible would somehow manifest. But this time, we’re witnessing the reality of those dreams… and those who dream them. Right now, we’re not only witnessing a dear friend getting beaten and crushed… but all those irrational dreams, goals, and ambitions as well…

  I look at Yumi. Her face floods with tears, but she tries to erase every drop. She’s refusing to become blinded by them. She’s determined to watch every second—spend every present moment with him…

  I look at Katsu. He was whipped several times and is greatly disheartened, but he summons everything he has to remain conscious and watch Akio’s fight.

  Lastly, I look at Sadao. His veins pulsate throughout his body. He balls his fists. His face is tight, red, and his lips are pursed. His eyes are bulging. He looks like he’s going to lose control of himself and act impulsively. Is he considering dying with his friend rather than honoring his sacrifice and assuming leadership for the rest of us? Please don’t, Sadao. We need you.

  Akio’s breaths are faint. Yet, we still hear every one—every inhale, and every exhale.

  No one dares to blink as we fear missing the moment that seems imminent: our leader exhaling his last breath.

  Talden examines every movement his opponent makes—every breath, every blink, and every head tilt.

  Akio finds strength to chuckle, but then coughs. He gazes at the sky. With barely audible volume, he utters, “Free at last.”

  Then, his smile loosens. His breaths slow. His fingers settle. And the color of his skin fades.

  It’s Not Over

  “I

  t’s not over yet,” Talden states, walking over to Sadao and Katsu. He stops in front of them, staring with blood on his face. Katsu keeps his face glued to the ground. Hair covers his face while his body remains arched like a rag-doll. Yumi’s face flooded with tears, stares at him, trembling. Sadao scowls at him, breathing heavily through his nose with pursed lips. Talden notices this and addresses him. “Are you going to challenge me as well?”

  Sadao’s breathing escalates as his eyes bulge. His fists tighten, but then he slows his breathing and turns away, tears coming out of his eyes. “No.” Talden scoffs, and then steps behind Katsu.

  “There is still work that needs to be done.” He looks around. “My whip? Where is it?”

  A soldier approaches him with it. Talden takes it and the soldier dismisses himself. Talden eyes Katsu as he snaps it. Then, he holds it over his head. “Unfortunately, I lost count, so I’ll have to start from the beginning.”

  Kagami next to me wails louder, covering her face. Yuuto bites his nails and hugs his legs.

  I no longer know how to feel at this point. My emotions have swung from the joy of connecting intimately with Kagami, to the hope of Katsu rescuing us, to the disappointment and fear of his capture, and then to the despair of Akio’s death. And now, I have to watch two more of my friends suffer 50 long and agonizing lashes… so what am I feeling now? Terror? Horror? Despair? Hopelessness? No… I don’t think so, actually. What I’m feeling right now I think is… anger... furious, raging anger...

  He whips Katsu. He grunts. He whips him again. He grunts louder. Like last time, every lash sounds bloodier and more intense than the last. It’s hard to watch. I hear gasps sound frequently among us. Kagami wails louder while Yuuto wraps himself in a ball. Tears run down my eyes. I purse my lips and tighten my fists. The frustratio
n and helplessness I’m feeling right now is insurmountable. Isn’t there anything I can do? Ah! I’m so angry right now that I can’t concentrate. I can’t think. My hands are shaking. My head is boiling. This is unbelievable.

  Another lash is cast. Blood spills off Katsu’s scarred back. Unable to keep strong any longer, his cries reflect his inner frustrations, fears, and rage. He shouts loudly after every lash, and everyone hearing him shares his emotions.

  Suddenly, without giving it a thought, I stand and shout. “Stop! No more! Take me instead!” Though I gather the attention of all my villagers and a few adjacent soldiers, the officers don’t hear me. Talden doesn’t stop, not even to acknowledge me. Did they really not hear me? Or do they just not care? I stand, stunned and humiliated.

  “Sit down,” orders the soldier next to me, pressing me down. I feel Yuuto and Kagami staring at me, but I don’t look at either of them. My anger having vanished now, all I feel left is humiliation, worthlessness, helplessness, and hopelessness… I did something I thought I’d never do… and it did absolutely nothing. I wasn’t even noticed.

  The endless lashing continues. As sad as it is to say, everyone becomes desensitized to the horror by the time Talden reaches the count of 40. When he reaches 49, Talden ensures the last lash is the most painful. It zaps all the strength Katsu has left. He sinks to the dirt and plants his body in it. He looks like he’s unable to move a muscle.

  Talden’s face is grave as he assesses him. Then, he glares at Sadao as he passes Yumi to get behind him. Tears running down her face, her body trembling, panting, she watches him all the way to Sadao.

  Sadao breathes heavy through his nose, tightening his lips, tensing his jaw, balling his fists, and bulging his eyes. He grunts upon receiving his first lash, and grunts again upon his fifth, tenth, and fifteenth… eventually, like Katsu, he’s no longer able to suppress his emotions. In his cries, I hear agony, frustration, disappointment, terror, helplessness, and rage.

  I slam my hands in the dirt. Trembling, I curl my fingers and dig through it. Tears fall on my hands. I inhale and exhale rapidly, huffing on uneven patterns. To my right, I hear Kagami’s cries. To my left, I hear Yuuto’s paralyzed fear. I can’t bear it any longer… I can’t bear to watch my friends suffer like this…

  After an infinity, the madness comes to an end. Talden ends Sadao’s punishment with a lash so powerful, Sadao shouts and falls to the ground. His body is so shocked that it’s trembling. He groans, but can’t move.

  Yumi, who watched most of it, shifts her eyes to Talden who still observes the trembling Sadao. “It is finished.” He faces her, but she spins her head away. Glaring at her, he throws his whip on the ground. He watches her tremble and sniffle, and then moves back in line with the other officers.

  Fraisha, appearing numb to emotions as his standard, uncrosses his arms, and steps forward in front of the officers, Katsu, and the others.

  “You were brought here to witness the punishment of those who betray their masters. Do not think of them as martyrs. They are demonstrations—demonstrations of what might happen to you if you do the same. It is unfortunate with everything that happened tonight. It was not my plan for Akio to die, but he chose his fate, as Sadao, Yumi, and Katsu have chosen theirs.”

  He pauses, scanning the crowd. They wail, cover their faces, and point their heads to the ground. He points at them, his mouth and jaw tensing. “And you choose your fates as well. I know you were caught up in a war you didn’t ask to be a part of. Your home and freedom was taken from you. You’ve lost much… but you know what? So did we!” His voice raises, pulling everyone’s attention. “We didn’t want to be slaves. We didn’t want to be masters. We didn’t want to be caught up in this war… but here we all are. You act like you’re the only ones who’ve lost in this war. How ungrateful!” He spins his head towards Sadao. “We’re the bastards? Do you know how much was taken from us? Was taken from me? You’re our slaves. We can do anything we like to you, but we’ve treated you far better than our masters have with us. If you knew how much, you’d be more grateful.” He spins his head towards the soldiers. “Lock them in their cells. I don’t want to see any of them for the rest of today.”

  #

  No one goes to sleep when they throw us back in our cells. I hear sniffling and sobbing all around. People face the ground and out of the porthole window, gazing at the moon. Others cover their faces, cross their arms, or lean against the walls.

  Instead of throwing me, Kagami, and Yuuto back in the medical cell, they put us in one of the regular cells—I’m guessing it’s because we’ve been replaced by Sadao and Katsu. However… Yumi is in here with us.

  I sneak a glance at Kagami. I’m self-conscious about making eye contact, but I want to see if she’s okay. She’s leaning against the opposite wall of Yuuto, Yumi, and me. Hair covers her face. She hugs her legs and rests her chin on her knees. She appears drained and defeated… but I suppose nobody else feels any different. Yumi next to Yuuto sits with her back arched and her hands covering her face. She’s one of the most audible criers in the cell. Everyone gets why…

  Yuuto sits with his back arched as well, placing his hands on the sides of his head like he’s got a bad headache. Checking on my feelings now—I’m not even sure anymore. I’m feeling so many I don’t know which is more dominant.

  I think more than anything, though… is that I’m frustrated… I’m frustrated at myself for… well… basically everything… everything I did… and everything I… didn’t do...

  “There’s no sense in dwelling on it now, Taiyo…” whispers Yuuto to me suddenly. “What’s done is done...”

  “But it’s my fault. Isn’t it? I didn’t help them when they asked me. My… my powers would have made a difference… why didn’t I help them? I’m so stupid. I’m so selfish…”

  “You were scared. And I was, too. That’s why we didn’t get involved. But we also thought that everything was under control. Who could have known that things would have turned out the way they did? Who could have predicted that Fraisha would have suddenly become a lightning god?”

  “I should have joined them when Akio asked for my help. At the very least, I could have protected them from Judan… because I’m the only one who can detect him…”

  But even if you’d offered your help, it might have not changed a thing… who can know? That’s why there’s no sense in thinking about it. It’ll drive you mad.”

  “But what if my help would have saved Akio’s life?!” I raise my voice suddenly. Everyone, including Yumi, turns to face me.

  “It’s not your fault, Taiyo...” Yumi says to me suddenly, luring me and Yuuto’s attention. “It’s not anyone’s fault. He fought to his death all on his own. We all saw it. That selfish fool… he’s always been…” She pauses, tightening her lips and fists. “Ugh! He just did whatever he wanted without thinking about how his decision would affect the rest of us. I mean doesn’t he know we still need him? That stupid, selfish fool! Stupid, selfish foo-”

  “Hey, hey!” shouts a guard, tapping on the cell door. “Careful now, I have good ears and can hear everything you’re saying… better keep it down...” Yumi raises her finger as he walks away.

  “N-no, you don’t understand, Yumi,” I tell her. “If I would have joined Akio and the others when he had asked me, I could have prevented Katsu from getting spotted by Judan which would have prevented the alarms from being sounded, therefore saving Akio’s life.”

  “Taiyo, wait. Stop,” Yuuto says to me suddenly, leaning over to whisper. “I can see what you’re thinking… you’re wanting to tell her about your powers, aren’t you? Stop and think for a minute. Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “Yes, Yuuto,” I say, facing him with a serious look. “What if Akio died for no other reason than I was too scared to try and help? Because I doubted myself? What if my powers would have made all the difference? But even if not, shouldn’t I have at least tried? I didn’t even try, Yuuto… because I was scared.
There’s really no other reason if I’m honest with myself. I’m not going to sit here and make excuses. It’s too late to redeem myself, I know, but I have to do something now, and use what I have to help. I don’t know if my help will make a difference... or if it will make things worse, but I have to try…”

  “But what if they hand you over to the Darkane? Their minds say that they wouldn’t right now, but minds change when circumstances change. I can read minds, but I can’t predict the future. Now really think about this. Are you sure this is a good idea?”

  I hesitate, thinking it over. Then, as I lock my eyes on him, his eyes expand. “Yes, Yuuto. I do.”

  His jaw drops. Feeling decided, I climb to my feet, but Yuuto pulls me back down. “Wait, Taiyo,” he says. He pauses, gulping. “I-I’m in, too.”

  “What? No, Yuuto, you don’t have to-”

  “No, Taiyo, you’re right. We shouldn’t hide our powers when they could make a difference for others... we can’t let our fears stop us from doing what’s right… because it’s not just about us… it’s about them, your people. Our choices to act or not not only affect us, but everyone around us. Our help could make all the difference… but whether or not that’s true, it’s like you said, we have to try. We owe it to them to try… and I don’t want to keep making the same mistake I made with my people...”

  I smile, and then nod.

  He takes a deep breath. “Okay, so… what do we do now?”

  “I think we should tell Yumi about us…”

  “What about Kagami?”

  My eyes widen and my heart skips a beat. “Ka-kagami?”

  “Yes. You’re wanting to tell Yumi about us because you want to form a new escape plan with them, right? Well, Yumi, Sadoa, and Kagami’s brother, Katsu, are all going to be held in their cells for a while. We need someone else we can trust, someone who can help us in the field. Out of everyone in your village besides you, Taiyo, Kagami is the one I feel the most comfortable trusting.”

  I aim to look at her. Her head is still buried in her legs.