The art of deception

by Peter Martin

  His heart beat faster. Dear God, what had she done?

  He dashed to the kitchen and saw the pram by the door, with AJ sound asleep inside. He checked to make sure he was breathing normally, and relief swam over him. But the room was in a mess: dirty dishes in the sink, dirty nappies on the side. No dinner in the oven. And a bottle of brandy by the bread bin.

  Unopened the last time he’d looked, but now only three-quarters full.

  He pushed the pram into the living room, switched on the light and walked across to where Angie lay. He moved close, smelling the alcohol on her breath.

  He tugged her arm. ‘What the hell are you playing at?’ He shook her harder.

  She opened her eyes. ‘Get off me. Leave me alone.’

  ‘I can smell it on you. Have you no shame? You’re supposed to be in charge of our son, and you’ve been hitting the bottle again.’

  ‘I … I only had a small brandy, that’s all. AJ wouldn’t drop off and it made me nervous. I didn’t have it until he’d gone.’

  ‘I don’t believe you. You’ve had more than one drink out of that bottle –

  I’ve seen it. What’s the bloody matter with you?’

  Angie looked close to tears. ‘You don’t understand what I’ve been going through. I—’

  ‘What are you talking about? Looking after a baby isn’t that difficult, for God’s sake. I managed it, didn’t I? I mean the doc’s given you those tablets, and you said you’ve been feeling better. And now you’re back to square one again.

  So why the sudden change?’

  ‘I … I took an extra tablet this morning.’

  ‘Well, that hasn’t done you a bit of good, has it? Right, I’m getting rid of all the alcohol in the house, for a start. What if something happened to him while you were asleep? How would you feel?’

  ‘It didn’t happen, and it won’t.’

  John took out all the bottles from the drinks cabinet and poured the contents down the sink. It wouldn’t stop her if she was that way inclined, he knew, but he needed to feel there was something he could do.

  pg. 114

  <><><>

  Late that night, while John watched TV, she set about filling in a job application for a temporary shop assistant at a DIY store. Six months’ work would suit her and get her out of the house. It may not happen, since she had no experience of working in a store, but if she impressed them enough at the interview, they’d train her. She now had three jobs in the offing, although she didn’t hold out much hope of getting any of them.

  ‘I’m going to bed, Angie. Lock up, will you?’

  ‘OK.’

  By the time she slipped into bed beside him, he was snoring, fast asleep.

  She smiled, but prayed to God that AJ wouldn’t wake up or she’d have to deal with him herself. All day was hard enough, without the nights as well.

  She closed her eyes, but sleep didn’t come, no matter what she did to summon it. And he was spark out without a care in the world.

  Then AJ woke. She was tempted to elbow John, but something made her get up herself. She picked AJ up and held him close. But it made her shudder; she moved him quickly away from her body as though he was infectious. Downstairs, she put him in the pram while she fetched his feed. He finished it in ten minutes.

  A quick nappy change and rocking him for only five minutes got him to sleep again. Climbing back into bed, she realised the whole process had only taken half an hour. She felt proud of herself, although she’d loathed every minute.

  The next morning, Tuesday, she woke early; AJ was still asleep, and John too. Her clock said five-thirty. She didn’t want to get up yet, but she felt her heart thumping away. She needed to walk, to try and get her head straight for the forthcoming day on her own.

  She made herself a black coffee, then walked back and forth from one end of the room to the other, breathing deeply in and out, trying to calm herself until, hearing John coming down, she sat down and picked up her cup.

  ‘I wondered where you’d got to,’ he said with a slight smile.

  ‘Couldn’t sleep, so I came down for a drink.’

  ‘Hey, AJ slept right through for the first time! How amazing! You know, he really is a good baby. We’re so lucky.’

  She snorted. ‘He didn’t. He woke in the middle of the night, but I was awake anyway, so I saw to him.’

  ‘You’re a star, Angie. I never heard a thing. How about breakfast? I’ll cook you bacon and egg if you like.’

  ‘Thanks, but I’ll have a bowl of porridge. Lost my appetite.’

  ‘OK – let’s hope it doesn’t turn into something serious.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll work it off if I need to.’

  ‘That’s what I like to hear. Dedication to duty. I’m impressed.’

  ‘Well, I might disappoint you again, the way I am.’

  ‘As long as you lay off the booze, I don’t care.’

  pg. 115

  ‘John, that was a one-off – my first day alone with him. I was scared. But I won’t do it again, I promise.’

  ‘I hope I can trust you.’

  ‘What are you saying, that I’d neglect my son? You’re wrong. I’m terrified of harming him, so I check and double check everything I do.’

  ‘OK, I’ll take your word for it. The subject’s closed. I’ll never mention it again, so long as you pull yourself together and get over whatever it is that’s getting to you.’

  Her hands shook as she picked up her cup of coffee and she spilt some on her dressing gown. The pressure was overwhelming; she feared failure as much as she feared harming the baby. But AJ seemed happy so far. She’d done all right with him.

  ‘No need to keep phoning me today, John. I’ll be fine. If I get into trouble or he’s not well, I’ll soon ring you,’ she said as he made to leave.

  ‘Sorry. I just wanted you to know I do worry about you being ill. I realise you’re finding it tough right now. OK?’

  ‘Thanks.’ She kissed him on the lips.

  Once he’d gone, she closed her eyes, not sure if what she felt was relief or dread. First she checked on the baby, got him out of the cot, brought him downstairs, changed his nappy and washed him. A change of clothing followed and she gave him his feed. Again he took the whole bottle, much to her surprise.

  After that she put him down in the pram while she cleared up.

  Then she switched on the television and watched the last few minutes of breakfast TV. God, how boring life had become. No way could she stay in all day. She considered her options; as long as he slept or kept quiet in his pram, she might be able to go to Dexford for a mooch round the shops. She only had to hop on the bus. It would pass the time and she’d easily be back for lunch.

  She had her coat on and had the pram ready when her phone rang. She gritted her teeth in anger, assuming John was checking up on her. But it was only ten o’clock.

  It was Susan. God, what did she want?

  ‘Sorry to disturb you, love, but we’re in your neck of the woods today and wondered if we could pop in to see AJ, say around two o’clock.’

  Angie’s heart sank. ‘I’m out shopping shortly but I’ll be back by lunchtime.’ She took a deep breath and sighed it out. ‘Yes, that will be fine. See you later, then.’

  ‘We’re going for a meal at the Scott Arms at twelve. You’re more than welcome to join us, if you want to.’

  ‘Thanks for the invite, but I’ll pass on that one. There’s no telling what AJ

  might do and I wouldn’t want to spoil your dinner.’

  ‘No matter – we can do it when he’s older.’

  ‘Yes, I’ll look forward to that. See you later, then.’

  Why were they doing this? She had her suspicions, but no proof – yet.

  pg. 116

  After lunch, she got AJ fed and then dozed off – until the doorbell ringing brought her back to reality. She dragged herself to the front door, her heart thumping, to see their beaming faces staring at her.

  ‘Hallo,
come in. I’m afraid AJ is fast asleep right now, though.’

  ‘Doesn’t matter – he’ll wake up soon enough,’ George said.

  They followed her into the living room and sat next to each other, while Angie sat in the armchair usually reserved for John.

  ‘I’m surprised you’ve come when John’s not here – wouldn’t you rather have come in the evening?’

  ‘Well, we were just passing, that’s all. You don’t mind, do you?’ Susan asked.

  ‘Not at all. Can I get you a drink? Tea or coffee?’

  ‘Tea will do fine. Thanks.’

  ‘OK, back in a minute. Have a peek at him if you want while you’re waiting.’

  Angie made the drinks, unhappy that her in-laws should invade her privacy like this. But they were entitled to see their first grandson.

  She came in with their drinks, then fetched her own.

  Susan smiled, eyes twinkling. ‘He’s lovely.’

  ‘He is that,’ George agreed. ‘There’s a lot of you in him, Angie. He has your hair, doesn’t he?’

  ‘Yes, that’s what my dad says.’

  ‘I bet he’s over the moon, too.’

  ‘He said it’s great to have a baby in the family again. I wish Mum was alive – she’d have doted over him.’

  Susan patted Angie’s arm. ‘She would. We certainly do!’

  ‘We all do,’ Angie said, smiling.

  ‘And how are you getting on? I gather you’ve not been well. John said you’ve been a bit … down in the dumps?’

  ‘Yes, a bit. Just a touch of the baby blues, I think. It’s a bit difficult to deal with now, but I’m on tablets for it.’

  ‘That’s good news. You’ll get over it in a few weeks, I’m sure.’

  ‘I hope so. I’m lucky AJ’s such a good baby – I haven’t been as stressed out as I thought I might be.’

  George chipped in. ‘If you need a rest … well, now we’re both retired, we have lots of spare time on our hands. We’d love to help you out. If you want to go out somewhere, or you need a hand with the chores, you only have to say.’

  The more she heard, the more she suspected John had put them up to this.

  ‘That’s kind, but it’s not necessary. AJ’s been good, so I’m fine.’

  Susan smiled. ‘Don’t be so bashful, Angie. We all need help at some stage in our lives. You don’t have to accept our offer, of course, but I’d hate to think what might happen if you got into trouble …’

  Angie had had enough of their patronising attitude.

  pg. 117

  ‘Did John ask you to come? Only he’s never said a word.’

  Before either of them could answer, AJ cried to save their bacon.

  Angie sighed. ‘I’d better go sort him out.’

  ‘Of course. Anything we can do to help?’

  ‘Get him out if you like – he might need his nappy changing.’

  Susan had the baby in her arms in no time and was soon cooing at him.

  ‘Oh, isn’t he beautiful, just like his daddy! Would you mind if I fed him, Angie?

  I’m out of practice, but I remember what to do.’

  ‘Sure, be my guest.’ Angie handed her the bottle.

  ‘Thanks – I appreciate it.’ She checked the temperature on the back of her hand. AJ took to the teat straight away and soon got the milk in him. ‘Wow, he is a hungry boy, isn’t he?’

  ‘Yes, he’s been eating well ever since he was born.’

  George smiled at his wife. ‘That’s like his dad, too.’

  Angie gave a slight smile, wishing they’d go. But they weren’t budging, even now the feed was done.

  Susan cast her eyes around the room. ‘Now, is there any housework needs doing? Anything at all – we’re not proud, are we, George?’

  ‘No – we realise how difficult it is, when you’re on your own with a baby.’

  ‘I’ve said no. If I needed any help, I’d ask for it.’

  Susan smiled an awkward smile. ‘Anyway, our offer stands, day or night.

  We’re available.’

  ‘Yes, that’s kind of you. I’ll bear it in mind, thanks.’

  ‘Shall I get him asleep for you before we go?’

  ‘OK. Put him in the pram. He likes to play for a while. Sometimes he goes on his own.’

  ‘Wow, that’s good,’ George said.

  Susan turned away from the pram. ‘You can all come to ours, any time you like. How about Sunday lunch?’

  ‘Maybe. I’ll ask John when he comes back from work.’

  ‘That would be lovely, we’d be thrilled to death.’

  When they’d gone, she burst into tears. Why did he do this? Plotting and planning, wanting her to be something she’d never be. She picked up a cup from the coffee table and threw it against the wall, smashing it into tiny bits. Another two cups followed. She screamed out loud. AJ cried. Her own fault, but she knew no other way to vent her frustration.

  Sometimes she hated her husband so much.

  pg. 118

  Chapter 24

  ll day, John worried about what he’d done. But it had been with the best of intentions; Angie struggled with AJ, so this was the only solution.

  A Opening the front door, he sighed quietly, put his briefcase down and wondered what awaited him. The living room door was open, the TV blared away and he guessed AJ was in his pram. Angie looked around, then up at him.

  ‘And how’s he been today?’

  ‘Can’t complain,’ she said.

  ‘What did I tell you?’

  ‘You did. I even remembered to put a ready meal in the oven. I’m pleased with myself. Wash your hands and I’ll dish up. Spaghetti Bolognese. Your favourite.’

  ‘Ooh, lovely. Things are looking up, darling.’

  ‘Aren’t they just?’

  John had a peep at AJ, finding him awake and playing with a rattle. He breathed out deeply, glad everything was fine.

  As he took his seat at the table, he noticed bits of crockery lying on the carpet and marks on the wall. He was about to mention it when Angie appeared with the food. She raised the plate, then dropped his boiling hot dinner over him.

  He yelped and his hands scrabbled at his face. ‘What the hell did you do that for?’

  ‘For going behind my back without telling me.’

  ‘You what?’

  ‘You know what I’m talking about. I don’t need to spell it out.’

  He should have guessed. ‘Have you gone mad? You nearly scalded me.’

  He pulled a tissue out of his pocket and wiped his face and shirt. Most of the food had ended up on the carpet.

  ‘Nearly? More’s the pity.’

  ‘Well, thanks very much.’

  She shoved the table towards him. ‘Your mum and dad paid me a visit.’

  ‘So what? They’re entitled – they’re his grandparents, for God’s sake.

  What’s wrong with that?’

  ‘Everything.’

  ‘Look, Mum phoned me at work, asking if they could see AJ. I said to ring you first, in case you were going out. I would have warned you, but I’ve been really busy.’

  ‘You’re lying, John. You planned this with them, didn’t you? Told them God knows what. And when they came over, they couldn’t do too much for me, because I’m a lunatic who can’t look after myself or my kid. Have you any idea how they made me feel? About two inches tall. I’m an inadequate mother – that’s what they think. Patronising me over how I’m bringing him up. I nearly threw them out, I can tell you. It was so embarrassing.’

  pg. 119

  ‘Angie, they were only trying to help. They love AJ, and you too. If you’d let them help, it would take the pressure off you.’

  ‘That’s a joke. It’s had the opposite effect. Now I’m worse than ever.’

  John sighed, and his tone softened. ‘I don’t want you to go to work. I need you to be with me and AJ.’

  ‘That’s ridiculous. Even if I stayed here all day, you wouldn’t be with me, because yo
u’re at work. I want a proper nanny to take care of him.’

  ‘There’s no point in discussing this now. You haven’t even got a job yet, and until you do, you either muddle your way through, or accept Mum and Dad’s kind offer. Please.’

  ‘I can see whose side you’re on.’

  ‘It’s not a question of sides – it’s doing what’s right.’

  ‘I’m sick of this. And I’m warning you, you ever do that to me again and I’ll leave. If you get any more great ideas, ask me first – or keep them to yourself.’

  She walked away, leaving her dinner cooling on the table.

  ‘Where are you going?’

  ‘Out. If you’re hungry, have mine. I’ve suddenly lost my appetite, for some reason. And as for the baby, you deal with it. I’ve had enough of the lot of you.’

  <><><>

  He didn’t go after her, which was a blessing. He wasn’t that stupid.

  Where to now? Not her dad’s; maybe Gail, her old friend from school. She felt like getting drunk and letting her hair down, as she did before she met John.

  She stopped in a layby and rang Gail on her mobile. They hadn’t spoken in ages – come to think of it, she didn’t even know Angie had a baby.

  ‘Hi, Gail, how are you?’

  ‘Angie! What a surprise! I’m OK, thanks. You?’

  ‘Good – listen, I just wondered if you were free tonight. Fancy going out for a drink? We could catch up with all our news. I’ve got loads to tell you!’

  ‘Angie, I’d love to, only me and Richard are off on our holidays tomorrow, to Benidorm for a fortnight. Tell you what, when I’m back, I’ll ring you. Got loads of juicy gossip for you too, believe me.’

  ‘But I … OK. See you in two weeks. Have a nice holiday.’

  ‘Thanks. See you soon.’

  The line went dead. ‘Shit! Shit! Shit!’

  Not giving in, she rang several other old friends, but to no avail.

  Tears streamed down her face. Nobody had time for her now; everyone had it in for her. Even though she shouldn’t be driving yet, she decided to get as far away as possible.