by Sam Akande
Interviewer:Really! Frank Kaars is no longer mayor due to public disapproval.
Bahati Kellan:Far from it. His party, Unified Alliance, and Krux Karv forsook him.
Interviewer:Was the former mayor adroit?
Bahati Kellan:A man that would rather be with his concubines? He is a lazy sod.
Interviewer:Your stance on marijuana might proliferate Le-Croff with the substance.
Bahati Kellan:[jokingly] Weed sandwiches or chocolate bars won’t be on sale when I become mayor.
Interviewer:There’s scepticism from some.
Bahati Kellan:They should acquaint themselves with my manifesto. My blueprint will safeguard our children.
Interviewer:What sets you apart from others?
Bahati Kellan:I’m passionate about global warming and universally redesigning Le-Croff.
Interviewer:Why are you keen on these issues?
Bahati Kellan:Our ecosystem is being wrecked by global warming.
Interviewer:But road tax and five-year-old vehicles to combat CO2 emissions was condemned by Jasper Jabari.
Bahati Kellan:We were Kaarmized by the former mayor. Upping road tax won’t end CO2 emissions.
Interviewer:Kaarmized? What does that mean?
Bahati Kellan:The Democratic Advancement Party is mendacious. Frank is their patron. So his name is a synonym for chicanery.
Interviewer:He could have clinched another three years.
Bahati Kellan:Frank was playing the victim with his most persecuted mayor in Patriccar Island. Crap.
Interviewer:The former mayor’s clanger bucked you up.
Bahati Kellan:My megalithic growth is bucking me up.
Interviewer:Aren’t you being officious?
Bahati Kellan:I’m gaining grounds. Le-Croff is shifting from the main parties. They can see through their smoke screen.
Interviewer:Best wishes to you.
Bahati Kellan:Maximum blessings.
Chapter Eleven
S worn adversary of Ricor Marsh, Chanley Kuplor of the Unified Alliance, reignited the feud with Ricor, who was now the mayor of Le-Croff.
Chanley opposed an automatic ticket for Ricor. He wanted primaries held in the Democratic Advancement Party. Shanti Bargaars was proffered by the Unified Alliance.
“Primaries will disorientate us. No silly games. Le-Croff already sees our party as a pariah,” Albert Guites, the Chairman, warned at a fundraising event.
Chanley, maddened by Albert’s remarks, untethered a venom that stung both Ricor and Albert. Chanley dragged the men through the mud in an editorial in the Le-Croff Standard entitled:
DEADLY BRIGANDS
I will not stand by to be disenfranchised by the feudal lords who have converted the Democratic Advancement Party to their chattel.
The stealth to hoodwink us into accepting Ricor Marsh as our candidate is deficient, therefore, their chalk-out must be dislodged.
The palliate that primaries would be a silly game by Albert is aberrant. The silly game is pre-empting others from contesting for the nomination of the Democratic Advancement Party. The silly game is foisting Ricor Marsh on everyone and somehow thinking the Unified Alliance would be cowed. We won’t! The chairman is negating the rules. Le-Croff doesn’t see us as pariah. Ricor Marsh would taint our party and make us to be seen as such. Prohibiting primaries will polarise the Democratic Advancement Party. Besides, Ricor Marsh is divisive and very incompetent. He almost bungled the investigation into Frank Kaars’ disappearance. Square pegs can’t be in round holes.
At this juncture, someone who would clean up our image, foster togetherness is what I recommend. Ricor Marsh cannot attain this feat. Albert is denying us of the best of the crop, like Shanti Bargaars whose résumé is impressive. As a soldier, she was on the United Nations Peacekeeping envoy. A former tourism secretary who made Le-Croff a tourist destination which has generated billions of liquets for the region.
Shanti’s political alumen is nonpareil. She is adored by everyone in the Democratic Advancement Party and far beyond.
The Chairman and Ricor cannot intimidate the Unified Alliance. We would truncate their proposal.
As stakeholders, we won’t let them ecotage the Democratic Advancement Party by fielding a detested man like Ricor Marsh.
For posterity’s sake, we can’t be silent. If they are not challenged, their shonky piffle might be entrenched in the party. They would deface this institution that was contrived on civility, equality and rectitude.
Collectively, we must stop Ricor and Albert from robbing us. The Democratic Advancement Party is not theirs, so we must see to it that primaries take place. The Unified Alliance won’t let sleeping dogs lie. If the Chairman doesn’t heed our warning, there would be a disruption which will bluster through like a cyclone.
The Chairman shouldn’t exclude us from selecting someone who wouldn’t be shunned by the electorate and heap a truckload of disgrace on the Democratic Advancement Party.
Chanley Kuplor is the phare guiding us onto the right track, Shanti Bargaars praised Chanley.
However, an erstwhile Secretary for Transportation under Frank Kaars, Sliri Puyuk, upbraided Kuplor.
The Unified Alliance is making me have a rethink of being in the Democratic Advancement Party. The wranglings won’t yield a propitious outcome, Sliri said.
We have got too much on our plate but everything would be rectified in due course, Albert Guites said.
The virus which is the Unified Alliance must be extirpated. Chanley is always stirring things up. He is sleazy, a proponent of Ricor said.
These reactions trailed Chanley Kuplor’s editorial. The discordancy in the Democratic Advancement Party sprouted as the Chairman couldn’t undo the Gordian Knot.
The gloves came off when Ricor Marsh phoned into Tea At Dawn, a breakfast show.
Presenter:The Mayor of Le-Croff is on the line . . . Morning, sir.
Ricor Marsh:Top of the morning to you [perfervidly].
Presenter:Is there a dispute in the Democratic Advancement Party?
Ricor Marsh:Well, there are degenerates causing hassles but they will fizzle out very soon.
Presenter:Chanley Kuplor of the Unified Alliance accused you and Albert Guites of behaving like feudal lords.
Ricor Marsh:He’s projecting his crassness on me. He feels everyone must seek his approval.
Presenter:The faction is the backbone of your party.
Ricor Marsh:They aren’t the backbone, Unified Alliance is a pain in the rear.
Presenter:Chanley presumed you are unfit to be the Mayor of Le-Croff.
Ricor Marsh:This jester has never held a public office in his life. He’s an imprudent man.
Presenter:Shanti Bargaars has a rapport with Chanley and the Unified Alliance.
Ricor Marsh:I have a lot of respect for Shanti. It’s disheartening that she is colluding with those nyaffs.
Presenter:They were instrumental in Frank Kaars’ election triumph.
Ricor Marsh:The Unified Alliance are bullies who railroad others to drop out for their marionette. They are like the Mafia.
Presenter:The Mafia? Aren’t you being over the top, Mister Mayor?
Ricor Marsh:No. If you don’t kiss Chanley Kuplor’s backside, you won’t make headway in the Democratic Advancement Party. Le-Croff voted for Frank but the Unified Alliance rigged the primaries for him.
Presenter:Frank Kaars kowtowed to Chanley?
Ricor Marsh:Who knows if Frank sucked his balls or licked his arse.
Presenter:[Tongue-tied by Ricor’s imprecations, the presenter coughed discomfitedly.]
Ricor Marsh:I won’t butter up to that spalpeen. The Democratic Advancement Party should be fumigated of the Unified Alliance.
Presenter:You were Frank’s deputy.
Ricor Marsh:He made me his deputy to quell the resentment from my base towards him.
Presenter:Albert Guites said there won’t be primaries in the party.
Ricor Marsh:It will be unattainable d
ue to time constraints.
Presenter:Seems like not everyone got the memo.
Ricor Marsh:Only the Unified Alliance didn’t. Chanley is pissing himself because I’m the mayor of Le-Croff.
Presenter:You have always wanted them out of the Democratic Advancement Party. Would you reconcile with Chanley and the Unified Alliance if they got behind you?
Ricor Marsh:I won’t reconcile with them and never will back down ’til the Unified Alliance is decimated from the Democratic Advancement Party.
Presenter:But Chanley has raised millions of liquets for the party. Isn’t he an asset?
Ricor Marsh:No, he is a liability to us. Chanley has given money to his buddies like Frank Kaars.
Presenter:Are you divisive?
Ricor Marsh:I held Le-Croff and the Democratic Advancement Party together when the region was in a pickle because of the Frank Kaars incident, yet that idiot tried to cause a cleave by calling for a public inquiry.
Presenter:His pretext for an inquiry was you almost goofed up the recce.
Ricor Marsh:Zul Baxter, the Chief Constable of Le-Croff, oversaw the process not me. Zul did exceptionally well. Chanley’s brains must be on a hiatus.
Presenter:The animosity between you and Chanley is chasmic.
Ricor Marsh:Chanley’s excesses must be subdued. He even instructs the Chairman. His loathing for me fattened when I didn’t stick up for him and his co-nutters after one of them tried to duff up the prime minister.
Presenter:Mister Mayor, you drew the first blood by tagging the Unified Alliance a “virus”.
Ricor Marsh:Yes, and I have no regrets about it. They are bad for the Democratic Advancement Party like termites are to one’s wellbeing.
Presenter:The Unified Alliance is like termites?
Ricor Marsh:Sure! They are problematic to everyone. Chanley is a narcissist and very self-centred!
Presenter:Are you in a tizz since Chanley might rend the party?
Ricor Marsh:I’m not bothered about that doltish skank. He’s drowning in irrelevance. The reasonable ones in the Democratic Advancement Party abhor Chanley Kuplor. The game is up for him.
The paroxysm of Ricor Marsh on the Unified Alliance dished the dirt on the rift in the party and it was talked about in Le-Croff.
Chapter Twelve
K rux Karv’s defection to the Liberation Party touched off a jacquerie. He became a Frank Kaars groupie after Ci Devan and Mayor Muldt Conteri flopped in the ballot.
Before the mayoral showdown, the mogul had declared:
Six more years for Muldt Conteri! Who’s Frank Kaars? Le-Croff can’t be overseen by an amateur.
When Muldt was ousted by Frank Kaars, Krux ditched the Liberation Party.
Frank Kaars is a beam of light on the region. He’s very insightful. Le-Croff will leap into vibrancy, Krux said after joining the Democratic Advancement Party.
The amity between Mayor Kaars and Krux earned the businessman some perks. In spite of the disquietude about Krux Karv, head honcho of the Liberation Party, Stivo Cobbler met with him at his mansion for lunch.
The prodigal son is home. We are so delighted, Stivo said.
A cheque of ten million liquets was fitted out to Likra Majara by the nabob.
Likra is a likeable and astute politician, Krux said.
Likra Majara, appreciative of the largess, lionised Krux on Rantpage.
Muldt Conteri, however, pitched into Stivo and Likra at a symposium:
Maybe Stivo was being pawky. That man isn’t the prodigal son, he is a turncoat. The Liberation Party must realise that forgiving a traitor is like mauling one’s self.
Our party has been disparaged by Krux Karv. If the Chairman’s memory is still serrated then he ought to hark back to how Krux ran for the hills when we lost. Krux went to the Democratic Advancement Party. The dude who said Le-Croff couldn’t be overseen by an amateur later extolled the person he had called an amateur.
Krux speaks from both sides of his mouth. He will hop into bed with whatever party is ruling. The Liberation Party should only pay mind to loyalists and not a guileful opportunist. Krux has no integrity and his wealth can’t shroud this.
The bromance between the trio of Stivo Cobbler, Likra Majara and Krux Karv is bizarre. It’s like a chicken courting a wolf. The latter only sees a meal and not a companion.
The Liberation Party should be very selective and not admit roguish individuals just for their opulence. Likra and Stivo seem to have degenerated into money-grabbing sell-outs. I am appalled at how these men are derelicting the morale of our party for a sum of ten million liquets.
Krux once gave us the elbow. He did the same to Frank Kaars. A subsidiary of Karv Holdings made mocking dolls of Mayor Kaars. In hindsight, a snake can change its skin but not its disposition. Don’t be fooled. Krux is a fair-weather friend who stumps at the sight of shtook. Likra Majara is abasing those who believe in him by toadying to this notorious schemer.
If Frank Kaars was still the Mayor of Le-Croff, and the Democratic Advancement Party had a good standing, would Krux Karv tergive to the Liberation Party? Wooing us with his money? Stivo Cobbler and Likra know fully well that he won’t.
He goes only where the grass is greener. Right now, in Le-Croff, our party is set to produce the next mayor. That’s why Krux is professing his affection for us. He’s stung our party before. We shouldn’t let him do it again.
The attendees at the symposium, dubbed Le-Croff for the Liberation Party, were spurred by Muldt Conteri.
“Krux is a scab, kick him out!” they bellowed.
The ensuing brouhaha in the Liberation Party was repressed by the prime minister, Lilian Loixe. She brought Stivo Cobbler, Likra Majara and Muldt Conteri together in Le-Croff.
Lilian Loixe interceded after the chairman pleaded with her to lend a hand in patching things up.
“Muldt Conteri is an eminence grise. He is my mentor,” Likra said.
“Likra Majara will chisel this region into an ebullient one,” Muldt said.
Muldt and Likra panegyrized each other after the mollification by the prime minister.
“We are adults in the Liberation Party,” a quite pleased Stivo Cobbler remarked.
Majara appeared on Critical Discourse days after the makeup in his party:
Interviewer:Has your party caught the bind-bug like your counterparts in the Democratic Advancement Party?
Likra Majara:No, we had a family dispute, but it’s been resolved.
Interviewer:Family dispute? Muldt Conteri censured you and the Chairman for the approbation of Krux.
Likra Majara:Muldt is the father of the Liberation Party in Le-Croff. I look up to him.
Interviewer:But Krux isn’t out. Is Muldt Conteri really the father of the Liberation Party?
Likra Majara:Le-Croff has been run down by Frank Kaars and the Democratic Advancement Party. I intend to resuscitate our region.
Interviewer:Why should Le-Croff opt for you?
Likra Majara:The lives of the burghers of this region will be perked up when I’m mayor.
Interviewer:Krux Karv has split the Liberation Party, hasn’t he? Even though the Prime Minister intermeddled, there are those who are still inexorable.
Likra Majara:We aren’t in a tangle like the Democratic Advancement Party. We are all on the same page.
Interviewer:Muldt Conteri sees Krux as a snake. Shouldn’t you listen to him?
Likra Majara:Frank Kaars wasn’t bothered about the unions. He jeopardised Le-Croff.
Interviewer:You’ve been compromised by the ten million liquets.
Likra Majara:I take exception to your reviling utterance. I can’t be bought. My principles are unbendable.
Interviewer:You affirmed that Muldt Conteri is your mentor and the father of your party, but you shrugged off his reproof of Krux. It must be the ten million liquets.
Likra Majara:Everyone lends an ear to Muldt Conteri. He was Mayor of Le-Croff and an advisor to the prime minister. His experience can’t be quant
ified.
Interviewer:So, was Muldt wrong about the whole thing? Perfidy is known in Le-Croff . . .
Likra Majara:We had a sit-down with the prime minister, the Right Honourable Lilian Loixe. The Liberation Party has gotten over this.
Interviewer:Likra, what exactly have you guys gotten over, Muldt Conteri or Krux Karv?
Likra Majara:Let’s talk about how I’m going to transmogrify this region.
Interviewer:I will touch on that, but everyone is curious about what your party has gotten over.
Likra Majara:You are so vested in negativity, which is very sad.
Interviewer:You might be perceived as not differing from the Democratic Advancement Party.
Likra Majara:Le-Croff is fed up with them. Who else can bolster this region?
Interviewer:Bahati Kellan. She might be an alternative to the bickering main parties.
Likra Majara:Who? She doesn’t have any prospect at being the mayor of Le-Croff.
Interviewer:Likra, she’s closing in on you. She’s six points behind you in the polls.
Likra Majara:I’m not losing sleep over Bahati. She’s a social media sensation.
Interviewer:The young are mostly veering to Bahati. She resonates with them.
Likra Majara:That’s not true. Both the young and old in Le-Croff are for me. She aligns herself with the Great Patriots, who are reprobates. She can’t be mayor.
Interviewer:Frank Kaars made an allusion that Jasper Jabari is a stooge of the Liberation Party.
Likra Majara:We would never condescend so low by interacting with Jasper and his hoons.
Interviewer:So Frank Kaars was chatting breeze?
Likra Majara:Frank Kaars shouldn’t be taken earnestly. He is an embarrassment to Le-Croff.
Interviewer:Are you letting your base down by accepting donations from Krux?
Likra Majara:My supporters are very dear to me. They have stuck by me through thick and thin.
Interviewer:Frank Kaars’ scandal has been somewhat of a blessing to you, hasn’t it?
Likra Majara:No, the region had been yearning for someone like me.
Interviewer:So you think you could have quashed him in the elections?
