That’s how she’d got her name. She was standing in front of Beall’s Livery and had a note pinned on her that her name was Josephine, but she was called Josey. With a sigh, Josey put the memories away, turned over, and stared at the door.
She heard the faint tinkle of the bell she’d given Connor. Josey jumped out of bed and put on her robe and slippers. She ran across the hall and opened Connor’s door.
In the dim light of the fireplace, she saw the bell on the floor. Connor must have knocked it off the table. She glanced at him. He was turning in the bed and groaning.
Josey went to him and shook him awake. “Connor, it’s just a dream.” She felt his forehead, but it was cool.
He opened his eyes, looked around the room, and lay back. Finally, his muscles relaxed. “Sorry. I must have had a nightmare.”
Josey patted his arms. “We all have them. Care to talk about it.”
He shook his head. “No, I’ve had it often enough. About the fall. The sound of my leg breaking and my horse’s leg snapping.” Sadness covered his face.
“I’m sorry. That must have been traumatic.”
He nodded. “My mother gave me the horse, Spanish Bill, for my tenth birthday. And then she died ten days later.”
She sat at the chair by his bed. “I’m sorry.”
His gaze fell on her. “Why are you here? Don’t you have someplace better to go?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m a nurse, and I go where I’m needed. Your father hired me to care for you. He must love you very much.”
Connor turned from her. “That’ll be the day. He yelled more about losing the horse than my leg being broke. Then he yelled at me because I was riding Spanish Bill when he broke his leg. It could have been anyone that day, but it was me.”
Josey remained quiet, hoping he’d keep talking and get the poison out of his system. She could see that it was festering inside him. But he stopped.
“Sorry, I must have knocked the bell over. I don’t think I need it.”
She picked it up and set it on his table. “Just in case you do, it’s right here beside you.” Josey got up and went to the door and turned to him. “Connor, your father does love you. I want you to know that.”
He didn’t say anything and turned away from her.
Back in her room, Josey looked at the picture of Connor’s mother. “What are your secrets? How can I help Joseph and Connor get along? Maybe it’s not my place, but I do want to help.”
She went and sat by the window and was surprised to see snow falling. The landscape was transformed from gray and brown to white. Even in the night, the white snow brightened the dark to almost day.
It was always a miracle to Josey. The pure white snow was coming down to cover the hard, gray look of winter in a blanket of fluffy white. Outlining the trees and helping to cover the barrenness, the snow was beautiful to her.
She liked to think of the storehouse of snow in heaven that the Bible talked about. When her time came to leave this life, that would be one of the first places she’d visit in Heaven. Not that she was in a hurry to go. Josey knew she had a purpose here on earth.
Perhaps it was to help Joseph and Connor. She’d pray about it to see what the Lord had for her. She took off her robe and slippers and snuggled under the warm blankets. In this room, Connor’s mother’s room, she felt love.
The rest of the house, not so much. Joseph’s austere personality took over, but here in his wife’s room, Connor’s mother still dominated like a queen. Tomorrow, Josey would ask about her. She already knew that Connor had loved her very much.
But that was for tomorrow.
***
Connor heard Josey leave his room. He liked her. When she was near him, he could feel warmth and peace. Like it had been when Mother was alive. No one else had ever had that effect. Colleen was pretty, but she didn’t have the quiet peace that Josey and his mother had.
Josey. She was a funny one. Always happy. Pretty in a girlish way. Not the beauty that Colleen was. But Connor found himself thinking more and more about her. She seemed to like him, but then again, that was her job.
Father still blamed him. After all these years, the anger was the same. Connor saw it in his eyes. Yes, he knew everyone said how he looked just like his father, but did he have those eyes. Those penetrating, accusing eyes that pointed out failure.
Connor slammed his fist against the bed. “David and Ben got along with Father just fine. But then they weren’t responsible for his mother’s death.”
Now here he was the cause of his horse’s death, and his father had to find a nurse to take care of him. Connor grinned. Surprisingly, he’d not broken anything trying to chase Josey away. Well, he did like her. When she was around, he was calm.
As soon as he could walk, he was leaving the ranch. He had enough money saved up to start a place of his own. He needed to get out from under his father’s accusing glare and ruling ways. Not a day went by that Father didn’t yell at him for something he either hadn’t done or did wrong.
Maybe that had stopped after the accident. But Connor had heard plenty of discouraging words from his father while he was stuck in this room. It smelled of Father. His cigars. Looked like him. Dark wood throughout the room. His books. Statues of bulls and stallions. Pictures of his brothers and him. And the one of Mother. Like a shrine in the midst of the room, his mother sat surrounded by her family. Yet, she was gone, passed on, and away from the family. Is that what he’d have to do to get away?
David and his wife seemed happy to stay. They took the west wing of the house and seemed to enjoy it with their two children and now a third about to enter the world.
Ben was about to be married and already had his house built. Life had been easy for him until the war. He still limped at times, and there were days when Connor would catch him staring into the air and wonder if he was reliving the horrors of the war.
Connor had stayed home with Father, but Joseph Stark didn’t need him around. His father needed no one. A feeling Connor shared with his father. He didn’t need anyone, at least he wouldn’t once his leg was better.
After he left the ranch, Connor was sure everything would be more peaceful. His brothers never fought with the old man. Connor and Joseph Stark didn’t seem to do anything but fight.
Connor stared at his leg. What had the doc said? Three months. Well, Connor would leave in two. Since Josey had come, he felt better. That powder of hers helped him, but he didn’t need it anymore. With the chair, he could get around by himself.
Soon he wouldn’t need anyone. That’s the way he liked it, and one of the reasons Colleen had turned on him. But that’s the way he was. A Loner. His mother had known it and respected him for it.
He paused and stared at her picture. “You didn’t like that about me, did you?”
She didn’t answer, of course. But from the picture, his mother stared at him with that loving look that he almost took for pity. And that angered him.
He didn’t need pity. He didn’t need anything or anyone.
Chapter 8
Josey awoke anxious to go outside in the snow. She fumbled through her clothes for something warm and came up with her old boots and socks. A sweater and wool skirt finished off her wardrobe.
After dressing, she had to laugh at herself. She looked like the old woman who wandered the streets of Baltimore, begging for bread. But she should be warm enough for a walk in the snowy wonderland.
She left her room and listened at Connor’s door. Soft snores let her know he was still sleeping. Good. She had time for a quick walk. She went down the hall and out the front door. She left the shelter of the house, and the crisp air stung her nose.
It was like walking into a different land. Nothing looked the same. She walked to the side of the house and down to the corrals. The horses bucked and ran in the enclosure, enjoying the snow and cold weather.
She watched them, picking out a dark, almost black one with a white foreleg and a star on his forehead. He s
aw her and ran to the side of the corral.
“You’re a beauty. If I had a horse, you would be the one I would pick. I bet you're fast.”
The horse stuck his nose over the fence to be petted.
She rubbed his head. “Good boy, I’d name you Star. I think you’re just about the most perfect horse I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re a good judge of horseflesh.” Joseph Stark came up beside her and rubbed the horse’s neck.
She’d jumped. “You startled me. I hope it was all right for me to come out here.” Josey smiled at him. The poor man always looked so troubled.
“Fine. I’m glad to see you like horses.”
“I always have. I’ve never ridden one before, but I’d like to learn.”
Joseph was quiet. “Maybe once it warms up, I can show you how to ride. We have some gentle ones.”
“Thank you, I’d like that.” Josey looked at her clothes and groaned. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t planning on meeting anyone. I’ll go and change to my nurse’s outfit.”
“You’re fine. It’s cold, and you look warm.” Joseph looked around. “Want to see more? I’ve got some foals in the barn.”
“I’d love to.” She checked her watch, a pin that she kept on her blouse. “I need to get back in a little bit. Connor will be waking up.”
Joseph nodded. “You have time. He can wait.”
Josey heard the edge in his words toward his son and wondered what set them off against each other. But he wasn’t talking, and she followed him to the barn.
“That one, he’s a brother to the horse Connor was riding when he had the accident. He looks just like Spanish Bill.” Dark clouds of emotion colored Joseph’s eyes and face with anger and sorrow. Then he pointed to the next stall. “This one is a half-sister to the colt. She’s got everything. Speed. Intelligence. That’s the filly I’m the proudest of.”
“She’s a beautiful red color.”
“Sorrel. Her mother is a strong mare, and her father the fastest on the ranch.” Joseph spoke of each of the horses.
She could see that he valued them in the way he looked at them. He should be. But something wasn’t right. She couldn’t see what, but there was something off in the way he seemed so proud of his horses but not his son. And she wasn’t sure why she thought that.
After admiring some cute foals, she looked at her watch. “I better run to the house. The snow is so lovely, isn’t it?”
Joseph walked out of the barn with her. “Yes, it comes once or twice a year.” He almost said more, but something made him stop. “Are you going to have breakfast with us?”
“No, I thought I’d have it with Connor this morning, and then we’ll both be in for lunch.”
Joseph nodded. “Fine.” He yelled something to a nearby ranch hand and left her.
One thing Josey knew, it was anything but fine for her to skip breakfast with the family. Although she didn’t get the feeling that it would be Connor that was missed.
She walked around the house, enjoying the snow. She found a little shed near her room. It was just off to the side near an old greenhouse that was no longer in use. It was attached to the side of the house, but she didn’t see any flowers or plants inside. She tried the door, but it was locked.
Once inside the main house, she’d see if she couldn’t find the entrance to the greenhouse. When the sun came out, it would be a beautiful place for Connor to sit in the chair and get some sunshine without being chilled.
She was almost back to the house when Banjo met her.
The foreman nodded toward the shed. “The greenhouse, it’s not for anyone to see. Not anymore.”
Josey told him her idea, but Banjo frowned and shook his head. “No. I know Joseph, and he won’t allow it. Don’t even ask.”
“All right. If you say so.”
Banjo held the door open for her. “I’ll go in and check on Connor while you change.”
She grinned. Banjo hadn’t said it, but he wasn’t all right with her dress. She didn’t blame him. It was kind of Joseph not to chastise her. He was such an odd man. Hard as Texas nails, but with a soft undercurrent that betrayed his hard exterior.
Josey thought of Connor in the same way. Perhaps that was why they were at such odds. So much alike that they couldn’t give one another any mercy. They couldn’t give themselves any mercy either.
She changed into her uniform and then knocked on Connor’s door. She heard a muffled groan. Opening the door, she saw Connor on the floor holding his leg. She yelled for Banjo and ran inside.
“Connor, what were you doing? Oh, no matter, I know what you were doing. Let me help you.”
She took his shoulder and moved him to where his back was to the bed. “Let me look at your leg.” She felt his ankle, and the pulse was strong. What she could see looked all right. “Your leg, is it hurting you badly?”
“Some. I think it’s all right. I smacked my head on the chair when it flipped over.”
Josey felt his head.” Yes, I feel a lump.” She looked in his eyes. The pupils were the same and the right size. “I think you’re okay. I’ll get Banjo, and he can help you back in bed.”
He caught her hand. “I’d rather get in the chair. Get dressed.”
She stared at him. “I guess you’re bored. I can understand that. All right, let me get Banjo to help.” She started to leave and turned back to him. “Promise me you’ll stay right there until I get back.”
He smiled. “Lesson learned. I’ll stay.”
She ran to get Banjo and had to admit that Connor’s smile had warmed her heart. Finally, she found Banjo coming out of the office. She explained what had happened, and they went to help Connor. “Don’t tell his father that he fell this morning. Our secret.”
Banjo nodded. “I know. We all here at the house, try and keep those two apart. Been too many fights between Father and son.”
Soon Banjo had Connor dressed and in the chair. “He’s ready to go, Miss Josey.”
Josey took the chair from Banjo. “Good. We’re going to do some exercises to get your strength back. After all that lying around, you need to work your muscles.”
Connor looked at her warily. “I had breakfast in mind.”
She laughed. “Of course, we’ll eat first. Do you know how to get into the greenhouse?”
Connor’s face paled. He looked at Banjo.
Banjo shook his head. “No one goes in that room anymore. That was Mrs. Starks.”
“Oh, well, I’m staying in her sitting room. It would be a good place for Connor to work out. He’d get sunshine and not get cold. I’ve always thought about how the sun cheers a person up.”
Banjo shook his head. “Not in that room.”
Connor shook his head. “He’s right. We’ll find another place.” He looked at Josey. “I’m hungry, though. Let’s go to the dining room.”
“I thought we’d eat in my room.” Josey looked at him. After it had turned out so poorly the last time they ate with the family, she wasn’t ready for that this morning.
Connor held up a hand. “I want to eat with my family. I can push myself. You said I just have to move the wheels.”
She showed him how. “All right.” Well, his father would be surprised after she’d said no. But Josey knew better than to fight his decision.
Connor caught on quickly, and she could barely keep up with him. They whirled into the dining room and she bumped into a table. Josey jumped to catch a falling plate but missed.
The all too familiar sound of splintering glass met her ears. She bent to pick it up just as Joseph entered the room.
“It was an old plate. Leave it, the maid will clean it up.” He glowered at Connor. “I should know it would be you.”
Connor’s smile faded. “It’s just an old plate. You have twenty more of them in a trunk.”
“They were your grandmother’s dishes.”
“I don’t think she’d care if one got broke. Now, or when she was alive.” Connor wheeled his chair to the far end of th
e table away from his father.
Josey felt the old feeling of failure. Why did she break things? “I’m sorry, it was my fault about the plate.”
Joseph looked at her and nodded. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s eat.”
Ben filled everyone in on the state of the ranch’s finances. David reported on the cattle and how they fared in the snow. Joseph made notes and then nodded for breakfast to be brought in.
Josey wondered if every morning was a business meeting. She poured milk for Connor and handed it to him. “The snow was beautiful. Now that the sun is out, I don’t think it will last very long.” She smiled and looked around the table.
Joseph and stared at her. David’s wife grinned but looked down to make sure her children were eating.
Josey looked around the table. “Is it not customary to say grace?” Silence followed by tension salted the air.
Joseph cleared his throat. “No. We don’t.”
Connor pulled off a chunk of bread. “What he means is that after Mother died, we banished God from the table and the house. In fact, I think we put up a fence around the ranch to keep him out.”
Joseph glared at his youngest son. “That will be enough, Connor.”
“If only it was.” Connor threw the chunk of bread at his plate and wheeled his chair out of the room.
Josey looked longingly at the delicious breakfast before her and started to rise.
“Stay. Miss Beall.” Joseph rose and went after Connor.
***
Connor couldn’t stand to be in the same room as his father. The man dug his long spurs into his sides at every chance as if he had to prove that he was still master of the house.
“Connor!”
He stopped his chair. When Father yelled his name, it was futile to try and get away. He turned the chair to face the man. Larger than life, Joseph Stark walked toward him. His face was hard as stone, his heart even harder.
“I won’t have you talking that way to me in this house.”
A Nurse for Connor Page 5
