Four

by Archer Kay Leah

  "Or accidentally tumble into bed without any clothes on and get stuck there," Aeley added, turning the corner and disappearing onto the other side of the stable.

  Mayr stared through the open doors to the red and green field, listening to Aeley and Lira giggle. He wanted what they had: a relationship where they could be who they were without apology, punishment, or abandonment. Without waking up every morning, wondering if it was the day the person they loved would leave and never look back. A partnership that overcame obstacles, strengthened over time as if scripted by fate.

  With the right person, he could have it all. For a short time, he'd believed he had.

  Now there's Sarene… sort of.

  Leaving him proved she was no different from anyone else. His worth in relationships seemed easily reduced to how much he earned, how he performed in bed, and how much attention he lavished upon his lover. Then they got bored and left, moving on to other men and lying about why they no longer wanted him. Even when they did stay, he suspected it was to reap the benefits and supposed prestige from being with a Head Guard.

  But Sarene came back. And she sounded genuine, tearful. Maybe if we just try, she won't mind sharing my life. I'm tired of dealing with myself. My most meaningful relationships are with my parents and the twins, then Aeley, and then Hetlan—in that very order. There's no one else, and I'm getting sick of it. There has to be more than this.

  He would surrender to Sarene. If she wanted him, she had him. If she wanted to take on a playmate in the bedroom, he would yield. Whatever her heart desired, he would give. Anything was better than being alone.

  "I'm crazy," Mayr told Hetlan. "Thirty years old and I still think it'll work out. I've heard miracles can happen; that strange things are actually normal in the world. That the Goddesses really do care what happens to each of us. Giving Sarene everything should help, right?"

  If only the rest of him could believe in such a miracle.

  Chapter Two

  "You won't be sorry," Sarene insisted, leading Mayr through the packed tavern by the hand. Close together, they bypassed tables of laughing women and burly men talking over the noise in the lamp-lit room. Sarene flashed Mayr a sweet smile. Her painted, pink lips matched her faded pink dress and the ribbon laced through the elegant twists and plaits of her blonde hair. The delicate green sash around her waist trailed down her back, catching on the slightest breeze.

  Bright and cheerful, she was a vision of grace and colour, a stark contrast to Mayr's black attire, grey eyes, and tan skin. Where her sweet-scented skin was unblemished, his brawny body was marked by scars and tattoos. The dark icons around his neck were the most visible and tended to make others wary.

  If she was the day, he was the night, dark and calm until a storm raged. And if the man Sarene wanted to sleep with did not approve, Mayr hardly cared.

  I agreed we'd go through with this, not that I'd change anything about myself. Still, Mayr self-consciously ran his hand through his hair, wishing he'd ignored Sarene's suggestion to keep it loose. Who knew that tying it back actually gives a man an extra boost of confidence? Ugh. I'm wearing clothes, but I still feel naked. I even left my sword behind, and I have a very special relationship with it. Oh, the things I'm doing for you, Sarene.

  Like this tryst, two days after accepting her proposal. First, they would have a light dinner with Sarene's lover. It would then be followed by whatever happened in the room she had booked in the tavern under Mayr's name. "Because they know you so well," she had said.

  What she meant was he would pay for it, in more ways than one. Not to mention they would get the best room the tavern owner, Orae, could offer, given Mayr's title and position.

  A fact confirmed as serving women welcomed Mayr with enthusiasm and insisted the moment he needed something, they would oblige immediately. Despite how busy the tavern was, he would receive their attention above all others. Most days, the special treatment was worth receiving. Tonight, however…

  "There he is!" Sarene yanked Mayr's hand and pushed through the crowd of raucous men standing in the middle of the dining area. The room smelled of roasted meat, herb bread, bitter ale, and sweat from the men they passed. Drink splashed the floor near Sarene's feet, but she ignored it and the jeers from the drunken men, her focus on her target. Once on the other side of the tavern, she rushed toward the corner table beside two open windows. A man with broad shoulders and sturdy build sat with his back to the door, the fabric and gold embroidery of his red robe shimmering in the light.

  The robe of a priest.

  Great. Guess you forgot that tiny detail, Sarene. Because sure, let's get into trouble with the Temple of the Four. Or even better: the Goddesses themselves. I certainly haven't had enough fun with priests in my lifetime. This one had better be the real thing or I'm skipping the part where we have words and going straight for the throat.

  "Sorry to keep you waiting." Sarene kissed the man's lightly whiskered cheek and pulled Mayr to the other side of the table. With a playful grin, she swished her long skirt. "Mayr, darling, meet Tash, my favourite priest from the Temple. Tash, Mayr."

  Scoffing, Tash tucked his shoulder-length brown hair behind one ear and stood. "She always embellishes." He smiled and extended his arm, his palm open.

  Hesitant, Mayr clasped Tash's forearm, clenching Tash's dark leather bracer as tightly as Tash gripped his arm. Not what I expected, he realized, studying Tash's face. Only slightly older than he anticipated, Tash's wavy hair was streaked with blond, matched by the short, trim beard and mustache framing his lips. He was striking, his face softly curved, but his bright blue eyes stole Mayr's attention.

  Eyes that shoved every one of Sarene's glances out of his mind.

  And while Tash wore dark pants, a loose white shirt, a simple belt with a small coin pouch, and the open red robe of a priest, the clothes emphasized his lean build. Had Mayr not known he was a priest, he might have taken Tash for a bounty hunter or soldier. Especially given those. Mayr eyed Tash's bracer with suspicion, releasing Tash. What priest wears armour? They're too busy with worship and doing good deeds and whatever else behind temple doors to need them. And here I left mine at home, thinking they might not be appropriate.

  Tash gestured to the table. "Please, sit." His gaze fixed on Mayr's. "I thought you might appreciate sitting in the corner. A fair vantage point and all."

  Sarene frowned and sat in the chair in the corner. "I don't get it."

  Of course you wouldn't. You don't need to see everyone or beware of people trying to kill you. Funny thing is he shouldn't know anything about it, either. Please don't tell me I'm being duped again. Please tell me he really is a priest.

  "Thanks," Mayr murmured, falling into the chair beside Sarene, across from Tash. An awkward silence fell between them until he cleared his throat. "You need another?" He pointed at the almost empty tankard beside Tash's hand.

  Tash's small smile never wavered. "I apologize for starting before you, but sure. It's supposed to be dinner, after all." He waved at one of the serving women.

  "Here, let me," Mayr offered, raising his hand. "Sometimes they take a while to—"

  "What can I get for you?" A petite, brunette server, Jesa, bounded up to the table with a wide grin and demure dress. She held an empty tray against her hip, batting her lashes at Tash then Mayr. Her glance did not stray to Sarene. "Obviously another drink for you, your priestliness, but I'm guessing food, too. Perhaps a little of everything Cook's got going? This one never seems to know what he wants," she said, nodding at Mayr.

  "Thanks, Jes." Mayr snickered. "Any other truths of mine you'd like to spill while we're at it?"

  Jesa laughed and hugged him around the shoulders. "Sorry, love. I just haven't seen you in days and days. We miss seeing your face around here." She straightened and tapped the table. "I'll just go and find you something good, then? Bread, meat, cheese. Fresh stew. And I'm pretty sure I saw a tart."

  Mayr bit his tongue as Jesa pinned her gaze on Sarene with the last w
ord.

  Before he could suggest she be nicer, Jesa blew him a kiss. "I'll be right back with your usual drinks." She disappeared into the crowd with a flounce.

  "If I wasn't in the corner," Sarene muttered, glaring after Jesa. She recovered quickly and seized Mayr's thigh before sliding her hand toward his groin. "I can't tell you how happy I am that you're finally meeting each other. I just know you're going to get along." Her mischievous smirk rattled something in Mayr's stomach. "I'm going to be a very, very lucky woman come morning. And so incredibly happy, I might just ask for seconds."

  Mayr choked on his breath. To his relief, Jesa appeared with two full tankards of ale and a goblet of gaffa nectar for Sarene.

  "You all right?" Tash asked, pushing one tankard closer to Mayr before accepting another. "Here, drink."

  "Fine, thanks." Mayr sipped the ale, Tash's concerned expression not lost on him. Of course Sarene would say something bold. And of course I'd react like a fool. I have no idea how I'm going to get through this.

  Except that was not completely true. Not anymore.

  For days, he had expected little of Sarene's lover and imagined all manners of appearance. Mostly he had expected a man much younger than himself, likely blond like Sarene, and a member of one of the Grand Families with a refined carriage and manner. A man he would want nothing to do with. He never expected Tash, whatever he really was.

  And he certainly never expected the wave of attraction drawing him in.

  In seeing Tash, the idea of sharing a bed with Sarene's lover was more appealing. While not the first time Mayr had considered sleeping with a man, it was the first time he would pursue it. His thoughts ran rampant, their lust outdone by his hardening cock. To see the body hidden under the humble cloth of a priest, to have those blue eyes close to his…

  Tash's coy smile chased Mayr's thoughts away. "Have a question? Or do I have something on my forehead? I can never tell with these places. Nor the Temple, for that matter. Priests can have a terribly wicked sense of humour. Priestesses are even worse."

  Mayr blinked. Had he been staring at Tash the whole time? "No. Maybe. How long have you and Sarene been… you know?"

  Sarene slapped Mayr's arm. "Mayr! I told you already. You're so paranoid. We were only together while you and I were taking our little time away. It wasn't anything serious. Just a little harmless fun."

  Harmless. Mayr battled back a laugh. "Isn't that against the rules of the Temple?"

  "What? Casual intimacy? Or intimacy with someone outside of the priesthood?" Tash shrugged. "Neither, at least not for Rese-level priests like myself. We're in the middle, with plenty of freedom to roam and experience life. Part of our station is to nurture the Goddesses' values: justice, protection, wisdom, and most certainly love."

  He paused with a wink as Jesa returned with several plates and placed them on the table. "Now the Metah-level priests, the novices," Tash continued once Jesa left, "they're allowed intimate activity but only a few times over a span of days. They're expected to pay attention and serve the Temple more than partake in personal pleasure. As for the highest of the order, the Uldana-level priests, they abstain except for the rare occasion and only should they be chosen." Tash glanced at Mayr. "Anything else you'd like to know? Anything, no matter how ridiculous or strange it may be."

  Mayr studied the silver ring on the middle finger of Tash's right hand. Long, sharp, and curved, the ring resembled a thick talon wrapped around Tash's finger from knuckle to tip. A thin chain extended from the base of the talon and over the back of Tash's hand, attached to a metal ring on his bracer. The choice of adornment played against Mayr's expectations of a priest. Normally they portrayed a softer, less intimidating demeanor.

  If he could ask only one question of Tash, it would be why Tash seemed different, almost to the point of making no sense.

  "Anything," Tash repeated softly, moving his right hand closer. He stopped just shy of touching Mayr's fingertips. "Generally it's better if we get to know each other before the first touch."

  Or maybe it's better if I know nothing at all. It'll be that much easier to forget. Mayr drank back the other answers that came to mind. I'm here for Sarene, no one else.

  "Well, if you won't ask, I will." Tash tilted his head, watching Mayr with a hint of amusement. "Have we ever met before, you and me?"

  Mayr picked at his food, aware that Sarene ate quicker than usual. "Uh, no…? Pretty sure I would have remembered."

  "I know. Me, too. It's just you seem familiar, somehow."

  "I hear I have one of those faces everyone knows. Though I've always figured it was because of too many brawls, among other things." Mayr snorted. "Maybe we got drunk and forgot."

  "Maybe. Then again, if we had, I'd have remembered. I don't forget the good-looking ones, especially those I'd make love to in a heartbeat."

  Mayr swallowed hard.

  Tash leaned forward. "You might want to drink that nervousness down," he suggested, loud enough for only Mayr to hear. "And maybe talk about yourself. Help me out. I'll make it easy if you'll let me. Have faith." As Tash sat back, he motioned to Jesa for more drinks. "So, you're Steward Dahe's Head Guard. I'm curious what that means, exactly."

  Considering Tash's words, Mayr let a long moment pass before answering. "Mostly I just keep her from getting herself killed." He sighed, the muscles in his back relaxing for the first time since entering the tavern. Something in Tash's smile taunted him with a calming effect, but only if he let it. "I keep the rest of our guards on point and trained. Every politician has people who want them gone. Every estate has its weak points. And every region needs soldiers that are ready to take on anything from village riots to disasters to war. I just tell people what to do, where to be, and when."

  "And you put nasty criminals away and awful murderers," Sarene added, scrunching her nose. "I don't know how you do something so dangerous. I never could." She scowled at Mayr. "You get into too many fights, even during your so-called training. You need to be more careful. Whenever one of your stupid guards bruises you or breaks your nose, you look absolutely horrifying. Considering all you put up with, you don't get paid half as well. You really should talk Aeley into divvying out the wealth more fairly. You say she loves you like a brother—it's time she proved it. Besides, with her brother gone and her wife so wealthy, there's no reason you shouldn't reap any of that benefit. You only save their scandalous hides."

  Mayr clenched his teeth. This was neither the place nor the time. "We've been here before, Sarene."

  "Sarene," Tash said, touching her hand, "let us be thankful there are those like Mayr who take on the more difficult paths. It's because they do that you and I are free to live in peace." When Jesa approached the table, he patted Sarene's fingers. "Although I think your stew is getting cold. And you have a fresh drink, see?" He took the drink from Jesa and set it before Sarene. "There. Much better."

  Tash faced Mayr and grimaced as if apologizing for Sarene's complaints.

  As if he had intentionally deflected her attention.

  Thanks, Mayr wanted to say, but kept quiet. The last thing he wanted was for Sarene to take the word as an insult and storm out.

  No, it isn't the last thing. Oddly enough, the last thing I want is to leave. He listened to Tash talk about the tavern and the numerous altercations in the past, some of them humourous more than violent. Except for the occasional interjection, Mayr allowed Tash and Sarene to dominate the conversation.

  Although uncertain about his role in the rest of the night, Mayr was surprised by how easy it was to be around Tash. Part of him was convinced he should hate Tash for his involvement with Sarene, but there was a measure of comfort to Tash's presence. One Mayr could neither describe nor understand. Maybe it was because Tash had saved him from Sarene's demands. Maybe it was because Tash seemed to care and understand, even though they had never met before.

  Or maybe it was because Mayr was starting to see why Sarene would like Tash, with his sweet but mysterious smile and sub
tle control.

  The sudden realization threw him off. He rethought every word, glance, gesture, and nuance. Even more, he questioned his decisions. His plan had been to stumble through a quick dinner then rush through what he hoped was an even quicker romp in a dark room—just enough to please Sarene and leave the next morning without regret.

  Was that still what he wanted?

  At this point, I have no idea. I don't know what I want. It sounded so simple before we sat down, but now…

  More than once, he had found another man attractive enough to consider making his interest known. And he reasoned himself out of it every time. Either he would convince himself the attempt would end in rejection or he reminded himself he had no idea how to be intimate with a man and feared ridicule. Any attempts would have been disastrous. His relationships with women were difficult enough. Pursuing men was asking for more trouble.

  There's too much ego involved, not to mention the abundance of aggression and suffocating need to establish dominance. Men play games, too, not just women. Anyone who says different is lying to themselves. Men might be more open about how they mess around with people, but it's still there. The effort demanded too much work for something that would fail faster than what he had with women, who carved out his heart and devoured his self-worth. They did not need help damaging him further. Sarene was proof of that.

  Then there's Tash. Curiosity crept through Mayr. Numerous unanswered questions played through his mind. A part of him never explored whispered for the chance to be free—to experience what he always denied himself. Fear and frustration had always gotten in the way.

  This time, opportunity lay at his feet, open and inviting. He had an idea of what Tash's interests were and how understanding he could be if Mayr proved inept. There was little left to fear. Nothing to lose.