So Wrong So Right

by Erica Marselas

  Colin and my dad chuckle. I’m glad they find me amusing right now.

  “Abby, Naomi and I started talking after you told me about your relationship with Colin. I asked Colin for the information and the two of us started Skyping. We ended up bonding over not just you two, but found we had a lot in common.”

  “I think I’m going to be sick. So, are you dating now?”

  “No, but we’re getting to know each other. Now, stop having a heart attack and stop worrying. The only wedding bells you hear chiming in that head of yours, are yours,” my dad says, giving me a pointed look through the rearview. I see a hint of a smirk when he glances over to Naomi, and her cheeks flush as she releases flirty giggles.

  I cross my arms and slouch in my seat. I don’t need Colin becoming a double step-brother. As if it’s not odd enough to be one-time over.

  Colin leans over, his cool breath on the side of my neck tickles my skin. “Have I ever told you how cute you are when you pout?”

  “Shut up,” I growl and shove his head away.

  Thankfully, it’s not much longer before we pull up to the women’s clinic. I sign in at the front desk and take a seat in the vast waiting room. There are four other women around, all at different stages of pregnancy. One is still tiny, but you can make out her bump under her blouse. Another's belly looks ready to pop; even her belly button is poking through her gray shirt like a turkey timer. The other two appear to be between those stages as if this is a timeline for my future.

  My hand falls to my flat belly, and I wonder what I’m going to look like in a few months. Will I get fat and swollen, as if I got stung by a bee, like the woman on the left? Or look as if I swallowed a basketball, like the woman in front of me?

  “Will you still find me attractive if I get as big as a house?” I whisper into Colin’s ear. He lowers the magazine he was pretending to read and puts his arm around my shoulder.

  “You’re not going to be as big as a house. You’re pregnant and you’re going to be beautiful round with my child. I can’t wait till you start to show.” His hand runs over my stomach, and he kisses my cheek. “I’m getting a chubby just thinking about it.” I glance down at his lap, and sure enough, the big guy is twitching in his shorts. Well, if that wasn’t the easiest way to reassure me.

  “But I read somewhere you can’t always lose the baby weight, like it sticks with you, forever,” I utter dramatically and picture what I would look like with Kim K’s ass. Guys go ga-ga about it, but I don’t think I could pull off all the extra junk in my trunk like her.

  “Any extra weight you gain I’m sure will go to your ass or boobs, and I’m definitely okay with it going to those places.”

  Point made.

  I nudge him with my elbow and he chuckles. “Abbs, you’re tiny, you’re young, you’ll be fine. I’m going to love you no matter what size you are, I promise.”

  I roll my eyes inwardly. He might love me if I weigh five hundred pounds, but he won’t find me attractive enough to keep fucking me.

  A sharp pain goes through my arm and I glare over at the culprit. “Oww,” I growl, rubbing the spot he just pinched, “what'd you do that for?”

  “Because you're over thinking. Now cut it out and stop worrying about nothing.”

  “Ok-ay, but you’ll change your tune if I ever get cankles.”

  Colin moves to pinch me again, but he’s stopped mid-grab when a nurse calls my name. I rise to my feet and look at my dad. “Are you coming in?”

  “No, I’ll wait here, pumpkin. You share this moment with Colin and it will also give me and Naomi some more time to talk.” He winks at her and she blushes and smiles like a school girl.

  Sick!

  I might dry heave right here.

  Colin slips his hand in mine and leads me to the back room. “Don't worry about them,” he murmurs. “Plus, would it be the worst thing? At least this time we like both of them.”

  I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

  The nurse tells me to pee in a cup after I’m weighed. I guess this is something I’ll have to get used to, someone taking my pee and watching the numbers on the scale go up every time I come to an appointment. Joy.

  Thankfully this time it’s only a couple of minutes before the doctor comes into the room. She's an older lady, with short curly white hair, kind hazel eyes with laugh wrinkles in the corner, and a genuine smile.

  “You must be Abigail. I'm Doctor Patterson. I hear congratulations are in order,” she looks at me and then Colin, her smile permanently in place.

  “Yeah, this is my boy—”

  “Fiancé,” Colin interjects, and I nod. I won’t even have enough time to get used to that title before he becomes my husband.

  “My Fiancé, Colin.”

  “Nice to meet you both.” She shakes our hands and then opens a file, glancing over it. “Now, I'm aware I'm to confirm your pregnancy so you can get married. Dr. Montgomery faxed over your information and says everything looked good at this stage and that you were a little over eight weeks.”

  “Yes, she said I was due October eighth.”

  “How about we take a look and give you both a chance to see your baby? We will need a sonogram to put with the papers anyway.”

  “Sounds good to me,” Colin answers eagerly. The smile on his face is infectious and I think I'm still amazed at how excited he is about this pregnancy.

  I lie back while the doctor gets everything set up and Colin takes my hand, kissing my forehead.

  Dr. Patterson squirts the lube on my stomach and places the wand on my belly. I watch Colin’s reaction when the screen comes alive and he gets to see our baby ‘live’ for the first time. His eyes widen just a fraction and he’s mesmerized staring at the screen.

  “There’s your baby,” The doctor says and Colin’s face lights up, his lips making a little ‘o’ shape. I turn back to the screen as she zooms in and points to the flickering on the screen. “There’s the heartbeat.” Sound waves appear on the screen, spiking quickly, which she measures. “Nice and strong too.”

  “Holy shit,” Colin mutters, “that's fucking amazing.”

  “God, language, Colin.” I giggle with a squeeze of his hand and point to my stomach. “Little ears.”

  Dr. Patterson laughs carefree, “Luckily, he or she can’t hear yet, so you have about ten more weeks to tame his potty mouth.”

  “I’m sorry, but that is fucking amazing.” He points to the screen where our baby is happy, just floating around. “we made that!”

  “Yeah, I guess you're right.” It is pretty fucking awesome.

  “Now, let me print out some pictures and afterward I’ll go write up that certificate.” She prints out a couple of pictures and wipes my belly clean, helping me sit back up. “Congratulations, you two.”

  With the certificate and sonograms clenched in my hand, we make our way back to the waiting room. Colin has his hand on my belly and kissing the side of my neck as we walk, making it hard to walk straight. “It’s mind-boggling, seeing it, knowing our baby is in there swimming around in your stomach, growing. God, I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” I tell him and reach for the door to the waiting room, but before I can open it, he grabs my waist, pushing me gently into it. He kisses me intently, not giving a shit about anybody around us. It’s only when one of the nurses clears her throat as she walks by do we pull apart. I catch her out of the corner of my eye, and she’s shaking her head and smiling.

  “Now, there’s only one thing left to do to make this perfect.” He pushes a loose tendril of my hair behind my ear.

  “What would that be for me to call you husband, my dear fiancé?” I tease as he opens the door and places his hand on my lower back.

  “It might be.” He kisses my temple and leads me out into the room where Naomi and Dad are still making those damn googly eyes at each other.

  “What are we going to do with them?”

  “I told you not to worry about them. They’re ol
d, let them have their fun. You’re going to be my wife soon, remember? It won’t matter what they do at this point.” I guess he’s right, but I won’t admit to it.

  “Grandma, Grandpa,” I announce, loudly, as I stand in front of them now. When they finally draw themselves away from each other, I hold up the sonogram for them to see. “Would you like to see your grandchild?” I never had a chance to show them the one I got on Wednesday. Naomi takes it from my hand and gasps, covering her mouth, and a tear rolls down her cheek.

  “Oh my goodness, I had almost forgotten how tiny they start.” Naomi giggles softly. “Beautiful.”

  “It’s hard to believe my baby girl is having a baby,” my dad whispers as he looks over Naomi’s shoulder at the picture. “Everything is alright?” He glances up at me and I nod.

  “He or she is perfect,” Colin answers for me.

  My dad stands and pulls me into a tight hug. “I want you to know, I’m always going to be here for you, pumpkin. You have me, no matter what.” I lay my head on his chest. Piece by piece I’m getting stocked back up on the love I’ve been missing for so long.

  “Thank you, Daddy.”

  I pull away from his hold to see Colin giving his mom a hug, the picture still in her hand. She then comes over to me and engulfs me in her arms. “You have me too, Abigail. We’re family now, always.”

  The cookie-cutter, nineteen-fifties television image I once had when I was little might have disintegrated, but now standing before me in Technicolor is my new improved, a little bit quirky— modern day—family. I don’t think I could ask for anything better.

  I’m combing through the racks of jeans at Nordstrom, picking out new clothes that I deem too expensive even for my taste. Naomi insisted on buying me a new wardrobe since I didn’t bring much with me when I ran. I tried to tell her I was fine, but she grabbed my hand and looked me straight in the eye, like she does when Colin needs to obey her, and said, “You’re going to be my daughter in two days, and you’re carrying my grandbaby, so I’ve earned the right to spoil you.” I couldn’t argue with her after that, but now I am hoping I can convince her to let me shop at Forever 21 instead.

  It was Colin’s idea to come here in the first place because he had to pick something up, but he had disappeared with my dad the second we stepped into the mall. My curiosity has been peaked since, though I have an idea what he’s doing.

  Like there will be something shiny and sparkly in my future.

  After we had left the doctor’s office, we went down to the county clerk's office to apply for our marriage license. Between waiting to be called and then waiting for the clerk to verify the doctor’s certificate of pregnancy, it took two hours to finish drawing up all the paperwork so Colin and I can get married. I thought there would’ve been more of a fight because of my age, but I think having my dad with us made it easier.

  All that matters now is by Monday at three o’clock I’m going to be a married woman. It’s as if I’ll become a whole different person come Monday. I’ll no longer be the teenager I once knew. Instead, I'll be someone’s bride and have a list of new responsibilities. Be forever committed to one person and carry their name. I should be afraid. Maybe even choking on the thinning air from the walls closing in around me due to the anxiety of being a wife, but I’m not.

  I feel free and insanely happy because now I have the family I always wanted. The only unfortunate thing is, I will have to share the name of the man I hate more than anything in this world.

  I wonder if Colin would change his name to Miller?

  Though I know just because Colin happens to be the spawn of Satan, the name belongs to him and he’s the love of my life. I want to be a part of him., including his name. We just have to make the name our own, leaving Victor behind for good once we say ‘I do.’

  “Abigail, look at this…” Naomi coos, pulling me from deciding how I’m going to sign my future name and holds up a beautiful lace cream maxi dress. “This would look perfect on you.”

  “It’s gorgeous, but what do I need that for?” It’s not like I have any place to go and dress up for right now.

  “I happen to think it would make a wonderful dress to maybe get married in. Just because you’re going to the courthouse, doesn’t mean you can’t dress like a bride. If not this one, there are many more to choose from.” She holds it up to me and makes me face one of the long mirrors on the wall.

  I instantly fall in love with it and it’s hard not to trust the person who works with high fashion clients every day. “You’re right, it's perfect.” Closing my eyes, I can envision myself wearing it, holding a bouquet of flowers, standing face to face with Colin who has tears in his eyes in awe of how beautiful his bride is.

  I doubt the man will cry, but a girl can dream for her man to be that moved by her.

  “Then it’s settled. We just have to keep it out of Colin’s sight till Monday.” She grins and slings the garment over her arm.

  “Naomi, thank you. For all this.” I tell her softly. I don’t have the words to say I’m glad she’s being the mother I truly need right now.

  She smiles and touches my cheek, lovingly. “You’re welcome, sweet girl. As I told you before, I’m here for you for whatever you need.”

  “I know, I just…” I trail off and instead pull a pair of jeans off the rack that are way too small for me.

  “You wish it was your mother here?” She fills in the long pause.

  “Yeah. I’m not sure she would be this encouraging or positive even if Victor wasn’t around.” I shrug and stick the size two jeans back on the rack and look for an eight.

  “I’m sure she would be.” She leads me over to a bench to sit and lays the clothes we collected next to her. “I don’t know your mother or half of the things that have been going on with you two, but I know she loves you. The signs are there, but her mind has been a little warped by Victor. And trust me I know all about the mind games he plays.”

  My hands run down my face, trying to wipe away all the emotions going through me. I can believe my mother is some brainwashed mutant, especially remembering the things Naomi told me a while back. Sometimes I would see flashes of my old mom, like when we baked just the other day. We smiled and laughed and ate balls of cookie dough, which I regretted later. Maybe she was always hiding in there, but I didn’t want to see the little things between all the hurt.

  “I guess, but at least when you saw what he was doing, you left.”

  “I did, but I had to see.” She emphasizes the word, tapping the corner of her eye. “Not even Colin’s behavior at first opened my eyes. It took seeing the marks on him to realize what I missed all along. Now, it’s not an excuse, and yes, as a mother she should trust you, but there’s things we don’t know. Now that you left, maybe this will be her wake up call to see what’s really wrong.”

  “I doubt it. She probably just thinks Colin kidnapped me.” I twist my lips and try to contain my giggle. “Well, I guess he did. But I don’t think she would figure out it’s because of what Victor did.”

  “I’ve heard the messages she’s been leaving your dad today, she sounds genuinely worried about you. Panicked even. Have you thought any more about talking to her after Monday?”

  “I don’t know. Dad said he’d talk to her today to tell her I was with him so she wouldn’t file a missing person’s report. I only hope she doesn’t try to come and get me or try to get Dad and Colin in trouble. Colin hasn’t even turned on his phone, so I’m not sure if that’s making things worse,” I ramble and wrap my arms around myself from a sudden chill that dances down my spine.

  “It’s not. And if for some reason after your dad talks to her and she comes up, well, you’ll be at the hotel. You’re safe, Abby. None of us are going to allow anything to happen to you.” She scoots closer and puts a comforting arm around me. “Come on, let's try to shove this away for right now, and get you what you need.”

  Exhausted, with at least eight bags of clothes between me and Naomi, we make our way
to the food court to meet Colin and Dad. My feet are killing me, but now I have enough clothes to wear something new every day for two weeks. We even picked out some stuff for Colin that I knew he'd like.

  I collapse into the chair at the table the men are occupying and notice they’re both empty-handed. “Where’s your stuff?” I ask Colin as I let my bags fall to my feet.

  “At the hotel,” Colin answers in the midst of inhaling a slice of pizza. Pig. We only just ate lunch right before we came to the mall. I have no idea how he can still eat. I glance up at my dad and notice he’s doing the same thing and Naomi shakes her head at him.

  “The hotel?”

  “Yeah, we went to go grab my car to drop it off at the hotel. I got our room for the next couple of days.” He tears through the crust and drops half of it on the table.

  “Are we going there now? Because I’m burnt out.” I would love to just take a bath, with extra bubbles and Colin.

  “You think you could last through one more thing this evening?” His chair scrapes across the floor as he moves closer to me and drapes his arm around behind me.

  “Can that one thing be in bed?” I whisper so my dad can’t hear me and bat my eyes at him.

  He chuckles and places a kiss behind my ear. “That’s the second thing, but I promise you’ll like this.”

  I groan loudly and roll my head on his shoulder. “Fine, if I must.”

  There’s a loud buzzing noise, and the table trembles. My dad’s phone spins around as it vibrates, the caller ID lighting up with my mother’s name. My dad reaches over and hits the power button, silencing it. “This is about the tenth time she’s called today. Are you still on board with what we talked about earlier?”

  “If it’s what you think has to be done, then yes.”

  “Why don’t we move this outside?” my dad asks.

  I glance around the crowded food court. Yeah, nobody needs to hear my business or capture it on YouTube. I can imagine all the hits it would get me when that phone conversation announces me to the whole food court about doing the nasty with my step-brother, and that I have a perverted step-father to boot.