Loving Her Scars (Loving Her Scars Series Book 1)

by B M Griffin

  Adam couldn’t speak. He’d been dangerously close to shifting and attacking Kevin when she’d walked through the door.

  “All good,” Kevin answered her. “We were just getting ready to come out. I’m sure the two of you are ready to get home for the night. Right, Adam?”

  Adam took a second to make sure he was calm enough to speak without his voice sounding too strange. “Yeah. Let’s go home,” his voice came out low and throaty; almost a growl.

  Shayla told Kevin goodbye, and Adam struggled as the asshole pulled her in for a hug that lasted just a little too long. Shayla’s return hug was awkward as she was obviously uncomfortable with his sinewy arms wrapped around her. At least that was something Adam could smile about. He was going to have to tell her the truth; there was no other way to convince her to stay away from Kevin. He couldn’t risk her walking in on him and discovering it for herself. One more minute and he wouldn’t have been able to stop the shift from happening, she could have gotten hurt. No. He had to tell her. He just prayed she’d still be his friend after finding out his secret. His heart couldn’t handle losing her; his wolf would go completely mad. Man, it was going to be a long night.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Shayla

  She wasn’t sure how she did it, but somehow Shayla managed to keep her mouth shut until they arrived home. She was so confused and pissed off; her mind was running on a loop, replaying the whole night repeatedly. One thing was for sure—she hadn’t been imagining the weirdness between Kevin and Jim earlier that day and it only got worse. She was completely confused by Kevin requesting to speak privately with Adam. What the hell was that about? They didn’t even know each other.

  The minute they got home; Shayla quickly made her way inside. She sensed Adam right behind her. As soon as she walked through the door, she slammed her purse down on the counter, quickly turning on her heel to face him. “What the hell was that?” Her eyes were wild with anger.

  “I don’t want you working with that Kevin guy, or anyone involved in his company.”

  “You telling me not to work with Kevin is not an answer to my question,” Shayla said. “Now tell me what the hell happened tonight, because I am definitely missing a few key pieces of the puzzle. I don’t think you understand, Adam. Megan and I put a lot into landing the Hall account, and if I screw it up, we will be in deep shit with Donna. It could cost me my career.”

  Adam ran his hands over his head and through his hair and let out a deep heavy breath. He started pacing back and forth in the limited space between them and the kitchen counter. Shayla couldn’t figure out why he was so upset. Adam was always protective of her, but what was he trying to protect her from now? She had no idea why he was so amped up, and it wasn’t like him to keep things from her. She needed to figure out what was going on.

  Adam was pacing the room like a caged animal. Shayla gently placed her hand on his shoulder. Adam’s head came up, bringing his eyes to meet Shayla’s; she recoiled from the sight of his eyes. His eyes, a bright blue, had transformed and were glowing. She blinked, believing she had to be seeing things. She closed her eyes and looked again at Adam’s intensely glowing eyes. Adam held his hand out to her and took a step forward, she retreated until she was halted by the table. Adam cautiously moved closer, but stopped with a small amount of space between them. “Shayla, please don’t be afraid. You know that I would never hurt you, right?”

  Shayla was so confused. Everything that had happened since she met Kevin Hall that morning had progressively gotten more and more strange. Now, her best friend was looking at her with beautiful glowing eyes. She knew Adam would never do anything to hurt her, but that knowledge didn’t do much to alleviate the anxiety that was gripping her in that moment. She closed her eyes before answering Adam’s question, “No, you won’t hurt me.” Shayla continued with her eyes closed; waiting.

  A second passed by, she felt Adam run his hand down her arm reaching for her hand, which he took in his own. “Shayla, please look at me,” he pleaded. He gently ran the knuckles of his other hand down her cheek; Shayla couldn’t hold out anymore. She cautiously opened her eyes, forcing herself not to shy away from him allowing the glowing eyes to look directly into hers. “Can we sit down? I need to tell you something about myself; I think it would be best if you were sitting when I tell you.”

  Adam insisting she sit down, was not doing anything to help lessen her anxiety. She allowed him to lead her into the living room. She sat down on the couch next to him. Several painfully long minutes passed without Adam saying anything, and she was just about to ask him for the third time what was going on when he finally spoke.

  “Something happened to me a couple of years ago; it changed me. I’m still the same person you know. I am still your friend. There is something you don’t know; something a little more.”

  Adam paused and stared at her, waiting for her reaction. He hadn’t told her anything; there was nothing for her to react to.

  He took both of Shayla’s hands and held them in his own, caressing the back of her hands with his thumbs in a soothing back and forth motion. “I am a werewolf.”

  Shayla attempted to pull her hands away, Adam wouldn’t let her go. Her breathing started to become rigid and the panic started to rise. Adam quickly released her hands, but was immediately cupping her face putting his forehead to hers. His voice was quiet when he said, “Breathe Shay. Just breathe for me. You’re safe. No one will ever hurt you while I’m around, I promise. I’ve got you. Just breathe.”

  His voice was calming; his words were calming. Adam was the only person who could calm her; she allowed herself to be calmed by him. He was right; he had still been there for her and done nothing but protect her and worked to make her happy after Eric attempted to ruin her. Adam was the only person who truly saw her; he looked at her and not her scar. When he looked at her, she forgot it was there. He looked at her like she was still beautiful. He knew all of her crazy. He never turned away from her. He was the one person she trusted with everything.

  Shayla closed her eyes and concentrated on Adam’s hands gently holding her face, and the way his closeness comforted her. She felt her breathing slow and return to normal. She was still freaked out, but she trusted him and she wanted to hear him out. “I’m okay,” she whispered.

  Adam slowly pulled back an inch away from her face. He was still holding her face between his hands and she leaned into one of them trying to absorb as much comfort as she could. He examined the features of her face before locking eyes with her again. Shayla kept her cool; she didn’t flinch away from his glowing sapphire eyes. Once she accepted no matter what he was, he was still her Adam, she allowed herself to see the beauty in his glowing eyes.

  “Really, Adam, I’m okay now. Please, finish telling me what you need to.”

  He released her face and moved his hands back down to hold hers once again. He maintained eye contact with her when he spoke again. “I was turned a couple of years ago. I was bitten in a bar one night. There was this girl, a werewolf, but not a nice one.”

  “There are nice werewolves?” Shayla interrupted, her eyes wide with wonder.

  Adam’s lip quirked at her question. “I’d like to think I’m pretty nice and I’m a werewolf.”

  “Yeah…sorry. I guess I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around that little tidbit of information. Did it hurt?”

  “It didn’t hurt when she bit me. We were making out a little and she bit my lip.”

  Shayla smiled at the way Adam had suddenly let his eyes fall away from her gaze when he talked about making out with the girl who turned him. “That was it? Just a little nibble right here and poof, you were a wolf.”

  Shayla gently placed her finger against Adam’s bottom lip as she spoke, when she did, his eyes shot back up to hers. She saw something in them that she had never seen before. She was certain she saw a desire in his gaze; a desire she has been missing for too long. She was caught up with all of her crap and for the first time in years,
Shayla felt the desire to kiss someone, to kiss Adam. How could she bring herself to make the first move? She found her eyes moving to his mouth like they were drawn there. When she looked back up and saw that Adam was doing the same to her, she allowed her lips to part slightly, hoping it would be all the invitation he needed to kiss her.

  Adam leaned in; her heart transformed into a hummingbird flapping in her chest. The butterflies in her stomach threatened to fly her away. She let her eyes close slowly feeling Adam’s lips press against hers. The kiss was soft and sweet. He let his lips linger over hers, then he pulled away far too soon for her liking. She could feel herself pouting when she opened her eyes and looked at him.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “No, it’s fine. I mean…I liked it.”

  Shayla looked away; her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Her mind was racing with thoughts. Had she really just told her best friend she liked kissing him? Even worse, she’d done so right after he said he shouldn’t have kissed her. What if he didn’t like kissing her. Shit. Way to go, Shayla.

  Adam put his fingers under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes again. “I know what’s going through your head, Shay, and you can stop it right now. I didn’t mean I didn’t like kissing you. I meant, I need to finish explaining things to you before I kiss you again. Trust me when I say I want to kiss you a lot more than I just did.”

  Shayla knew that her face was beat red right; she started to steer the conversation away from her embarrassment “So, you said you knew what I was thinking. Can you read minds or something?”

  Adam laughed. “No, I can’t read minds. Nothing that cool, although, I don’t really think I’d want that. I know you, Shayla, and I know how you think. You always assume the worst. Eric got inside your head and made you think less of yourself; Shay he was so wrong. You are beautiful and loving, and so damn smart it’s crazy. He was a damn fool not to see what he had. I promise you that is not a mistake I will ever make.”

  Shayla was stunned. She knew Adam loved her as a friend and he told her she was beautiful and great all of the time, but she had always thought he was just saying those things as a friend. Best friends are supposed to tell you that you’re awesome even when you aren’t, right? But now, looking in his eyes, she knew that he meant it as much more than just her friend. He wasn’t just trying to make her feel better, no, he meant every word. Without thinking, because she would definitely talk herself out of it, Shayla leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Adam’s lips. He didn’t pull away and her heart did a somersault in celebration when Adam leaned into her and deepened the kiss.

  Again, he pulled away sooner than she wanted him too, and again, her mouth formed a pout without her permission. Adam laughed before taking her chin between his finger and thumb and planting another chaste kiss to her lips. “Okay, we really need to finish our conversation now. I don’t think I will be able to stop myself if we kiss again, and the things that I need to tell you are very important.”

  Shayla bit her lip to keep from smiling when he said he wouldn’t be able to stop kissing her, but she nodded in agreement and took a steadying breath to calm her rapidly beating heart. “Am I right in thinking what you want to tell me involves Kevin?”

  “Yeah, he is a part of it. Werewolves are all part of a pack. There are numerous packs all over the world, each with its own leaders. The alpha, the head wolf, has final say over anything affecting the pack. The alpha appoints a second in command; the beta.”

  “Are you one of those?” Shayla asked him.

  “No, I don’t have an official title like alpha or beta and nobody answers to me, but I do have a reputation amongst packs all over the country.”

  Shayla waited for him to continue. He stopped talking and was now avoiding eye contact with her. He was increasingly uncomfortable. “Is this unofficial role of yours related to whatever went down tonight at Kevin’s, and why you want me to stay away from him?”

  Adam finally looked at her again and nodded his head. “Yes. Kevin is an alpha and Jim’s his beta. He has been trying to assume other packs. Unfortunately, he has been rather successful, except with my pack. No one is interested in joining his pack. He is a power-hungry asshole.”

  “Let me guess,” Shayla said, “he was referring to you when I overheard him tell his people someone’s scent was on me, and he wants to use me to get to you and your pack.”

  “It would seem so. He wants to use you to get to me. That’s why he asked to talk to me alone. He wants to use my, um, skills to help him reach his goal of claiming more packs.”

  “So, he threatened to hurt me if you don’t help him?” Shayla was trying to stay calm, but it was hard with Adam telling her some power-hungry werewolf planned to hurt her.

  Adam wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close to him. She buried her face in his chest and breathed him in. “No one is going to hurt you,” Adam’s voice was so sure, that she believed him without question. She knew that he would do everything to honor his word to keep her safe.

  Shayla sat back and tried to smile at him. “Thanks. I’m okay now.”

  He looked her over and when she was no longer shaking, he was satisfied she was okay. He nodded slightly and continued telling her about Kevin’s plan. “He didn’t actually threaten to hurt you, but I wouldn’t put that past him. He will do anything to get what he wants.”

  “What did he threaten to do then?”

  Adam looked uncomfortable and he was looking anywhere but in her eyes. “He said he would make you his.”

  “What does he mean, make me his?”

  “His mate,” Andrew told her.

  “There isn’t any chance I would ever be with someone so pompous. Even if I didn’t know about him being this huge asshole of a werewolf, I wouldn’t be interested in him.”

  Adam looked at her; his smile was bright and genuine. “I don’t think Kevin has ever met a woman who wouldn’t love to be his, so he just assumed he wouldn’t have a problem taking you…I mean, making you his.”

  If Shayla didn’t know better, she would think Adam already thought of her as his and Kevin was threatening to take her from him. She couldn’t deny that she liked the sound of Adam calling her his. With Adam, the phrase didn’t sound like he thought he owned her, just that he was proud to have her by his side.

  It occurred to her that Adam kept answering all of her questions, except for those that would reveal specifics about himself. He had said he had a reputation among all werewolves, but evaded saying why that was. She was a little apprehensive to discover whatever it was he was working so hard not to tell her. It had to be bad, after all. If he could tell her he was a werewolf, but was afraid to tell her about his reputation she was afraid of what it was. She knew she had to know.

  “Adam, why does Kevin want you so desperately?” She waited, he just stared at her without responding. He opened his mouth a few times like he was getting ready to say something, the words strangled him each time he tried to speak. “Adam, just tell me. You said you are well known among other wolf packs, and assume whatever you’re known for is why Kevin wants you. You’re not going to scare me off now.”

  “Huh,” Adam huffed, “you say that now, but once you know why I'm so worried, you will run away from me, and I'll become the person you’re afraid of.”

  Shayla reached for his hand and he quickly took hers, rubbing his thumb back and forth gently over the back of her hand. “I could never be afraid of you, Adam. You are the only person I trust completely, so just tell me. Whatever it is, I can accept it because it’s a part of who you are.”

  Adam shut his eyes and took a deep breath, like he was collecting his courage. It was so strange to see him afraid of anything; Shayla had to fight the urge to hug and comfort him. He was her best friend; the most important person in her life. She hated seeing him worried and afraid to talk to her. It occurred to her Adam probably felt the same when it came to her on a regular basis. Now that she
knew what it felt like to be the person on the other side, she felt sick about all the time she knew he spent worried about her.

  Adam opened his eyes and looked into her gaze when he finally spoke. “I’m different than other werewolves. I’m stronger and I have special, uh, skills that make me dangerous. Well, more dangerous. I’ve never lost a fight, even when facing numerous opponents. I help other packs whenever there is a threat that needs to be taken care of.”

  “So, you’re like a warrior for the species?”

  “No. I don’t think I’d put it that way.”

  “So, you just beat people up?”

  “That’s probably the easiest way to put it, but only people who seek to harm others, or me.”

  Shayla watched him. She knew he wasn’t telling her everything. Kevin Hall had more than enough people who could assault and intimidate others on his behalf. She was sure he wouldn’t go through the trouble of blackmailing Adam just to beat some people up. It didn’t make sense Kevin would prefer Adam to do his dirty work. Adam must be able to do what others can’t she thought. “I know that there has to be more to it,” Shayla said. “Kevin Hall wouldn’t go to so much trouble just to force you to injure people for him.”

  Adam rubbed the back of his neck; she could feel his anxiety rubbing off on her. She knew whatever he had to tell her had to be serious. Maybe she didn’t need to know. She wanted to believe she could look past anything because it was Adam. The more he hesitated to tell her his secret, the more she began to doubt her ability to be strong and stand by his side. He’d always been the one she leaned on when she was afraid. What would she do for strength if it wound up being him she was afraid of?

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Adam

  Adam’s heart was beating inside of his chest, as worry and fear that Shayla would run away from him afraid washed over him. He had to tell her the truth, there was no other way. Adam struggled with the understanding that knowing and doing were two completely different things. How could he survive losing her? Adam was certain her knowing the truth would cause her to leave. This would destroy him. Adam took a deep breath and began speaking carefully and slowly.