Ordinary is Perfect

by D. Jackson Leigh

  Her heart still pounded, but her vision cleared, and she grabbed the hand holding the cool cloth. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m okay now.” Her hands still shook, and Elvis moved in front of her while Autumn took his place next to Catherine.

  Autumn, eyes bright with concern, gently flipped their hands so that the cloth was in Catherine’s but didn’t let go.

  Catherine turned her head, unable to hold Autumn’s gaze. She was deeply embarrassed, but Autumn needed an explanation…for Gabe’s sake. She just didn’t think she could do that right now. “You should check on Gabe.”

  Autumn released Catherine’s hand, leaving the cloth, and laid down the cold compress she’d been holding to Catherine’s nape. “I will in a bit. Let’s give her some space, so she can calm down. I always needed it when I was her age and ran to hide in my room. I was probably a little high-strung, and I think Gabe might be the same.” Autumn’s smile was soft when Catherine looked back at her, and she couldn’t remember why less than an hour before she’d been questioning Autumn’s maturity and ability to parent. She knew better from the long conversations they’d had so many nights. Elvis seemed to agree. He was looking at Autumn like she was his queen.

  Catherine shook her head. “I don’t know if I’m handling things right with her. She treats me like I’m her shelter. Then the next minute, she goes silent and shuts me out.” She pulled the tie from her hair to free it, then combed it back with her fingers. The fine strands were damp with sweat. She needed a shower. “I’m afraid she’s bottling everything up and not properly grieving.”

  “Sometimes your anger and your sadness get all mixed up, and it’s hard to separate them.” Autumn’s chin dropped to her chest, and they were quiet for a long time before Autumn spoke again. “Anxiety attack?”

  “Not really. But something like that.” Shame heated her ears and face again.

  A cow lowed in the distance, and Canada geese honked as they flew overhead in formation, then disappeared behind the treetops near one of the farm’s ponds.

  “It was a flashback, wasn’t it? From your time in the army?” Maybe they did need to talk about this, even if Catherine wasn’t ready.

  “They’ve been rare in the past couple of years, but more frequent in the past month. I’m not sure why. Probably the stress of Becki being sick, then dying, and then wondering if I’m totally screwing up with Gabe.”

  “Does Gabe know about the flashbacks?”

  “Yes. Becki taught her…” Catherine closed her eyes and felt Elvis rest his head on her knee. “Taught her what to do if I freak out.”

  “Is there any danger you’d hurt her when one happens?”

  “She knows not to touch me and to let Elvis handle it.”

  Autumn paused and looked down at Elvis’s head resting on Catherine’s knee. “Oh. I guess I thought he belonged to Gabe and Becki.” She brushed his head with her fingertips and scratched lightly behind his ears. “But I’d heard dogs are being trained to help people who suffer from PTSD.”

  “Actually, Elvis hasn’t been trained and doesn’t really belong to either of us.”

  “But he had that harness on at the lawyer’s office.”

  “It’s pretty easy to buy one on the internet.”

  “Then how does he know what to do, if he’s never been trained?”

  How did she explain Elvis? He was a plain, brown, forty-five-pound mutt with bloodlines as tangled as a child’s fishing line. His ears half stood, half flopped, and his tail appeared to have stopped growing when it reached half the length it should be. As ordinary as he seemed on the outside, there’d always been something extraordinary about Elvis. His brown eyes held an eerie intelligence, and his compact frame radiated something intangible that called to the vulnerable near him.

  Sensitive to Catherine’s anxiety around crowds, Becki had reserved a table at the edge of the outdoor seating at a marina on the nearby lake. She knew that being near water soothed Catherine, and Elvis settled next to Catherine’s chair. While they waited for their food, a boy approached. Catherine judged him to be between thirteen and fifteen years old, arms and legs too long and thin, waiting for his body to catch up. Braces on his teeth and red splotches of acne added to his awkwardness.

  “Can I pet your dog?” he asked, averting his eyes as he spoke.

  Becki smiled warmly at the boy. “You sure can.” The boy laughed when Elvis offered his paw to shake, then gently stroked Elvis’s head until he was called to return to the table he shared with an older couple.

  “I need a dog just like this,” he said as he stood to leave. “Thanks for letting me pet him.”

  “Catherine?” Autumn’s voice shook her from the memory. “Are you okay?”

  Autumn’s shoulder was inches away but no longer pressed against hers. She shook herself mentally. Autumn probably thought she was losing her grip on reality again. “I’m good. Just remembering a time when Becki and Elvis took me to the marina for dinner once. What was the question?”

  “Who takes care of Elvis?”

  “Sometimes me. Sometimes Becki would. He just showed up one day and never left. He decides where he stays each night.” She paused. “He always seems to stay with whoever needs him most.”

  Autumn touched Elvis’s head. “When I was Gabe’s age, I needed a dog just like him.”

  Elvis’s ears went up when something buzzed, and Catherine could feel the vibration in the wooden step she was sitting on. Autumn reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone. She tapped the screen, read a text, then typed a quick reply.

  Still wound tight from her flashback, Catherine wanted to snatch the phone from her hand and throw it into the woods. What if Autumn’s phone addiction transferred to Gabe? Not if she could help it. She wiped the cloth she still held over her face, but she couldn’t wash away her irritation, so she stood. “You’re probably tired from driving all day. I’ll go collect Gabe. Morning comes early on the farm.”

  “I’m almost done here.” Autumn’s thumbnails tap-danced on the phone’s screen. “I’ll be right in. Don’t leave just yet.”

  Catherine didn’t reply as she headed inside and found Gabe in Becki’s room, glaring at the television screen as she manipulated the Xbox controls.

  “I’m staying here tonight…at my house.” Gabe hadn’t waited for Catherine to speak and didn’t look away from the game. “Autumn will be here.”

  “Okay.” Catherine’s irritation dissolved into deep, sad fatigue. Dusk had begun to fall, and the living room had darkened Becki’s cheerful décor to monochrome. Autumn stepped out from the shadows. “She wants to stay with you.”

  “Will you be okay? Maybe we should all stay together.” Autumn stepped close and touched Catherine’s arm. “We’re a team, remember?”

  Catherine closed her eyes. Autumn smelled like freshly washed sheets warming on the clothesline. Like honeysuckle in full bloom. The odor of blood and guns and ruptured innards on scorching sand was gone. She opened her eyes and bent to kiss Autumn’s cheek. Catherine touched her fingers to Autumn’s opposite cheek and struggled against the urge to kiss her lips. “Thank you. I’ll be fine. You’ve chased it away, but I could use a little solitude.”

  Autumn covered Catherine’s hand, trapping it against her cheek a little longer. “I forgot that you’ve gone from living alone to having someone else with you constantly. I’ll watch over Gabe. It’ll give us a chance to get to know each other a little. Go take care of yourself.”

  Catherine nodded and brushed her lips against Autumn’s cheek again. “Good night.” She gently slid her hand from under Autumn’s and slipped out the front door.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Holy crap.” Autumn’s brain stuttered.

  She and Gabe had been running down a city street, shooting zombies that popped out from alleys, doorways, and overturned cars. Catherine stood at the end of the street by a sign that read Safe Zone, beckoning for them to hurry. A crowd of zombies was gaining on them, arms reaching for them. She hear
d barking that grew louder and louder until a pack of zombie dogs was nipping at their heels. Her phaser was empty, so she activated her light sword and was turning to keep the dogs at bay so Gabe could escape when a deafening bark threw her into a new scene.

  Sun flooded the room. Where was she? Oz? Heaven? Wait. The deep-pink and medium-green décor was familiar. Becki’s room. She was sitting up in Becki’s bed, eyes wide open.

  “Are you going to answer that?” Gabe was lying next to her. Something wet nudged at her hand, and she looked down into deep-brown eyes. Elvis pushed his nose against her hand again when a chorus of barks sounded, then backed up and looked down at something on the floor. Her phone.

  Autumn groaned but half dangled over the edge of the bed to grab and swipe it. “Hel…hello?”

  “I’m sorry. Did I wake you? It’s Rachel. I only called because Jay said you were an early riser.”

  “No. it’s fine. I usually am, but I was up most of the night shooting zombies.” Well, that should make a great impression.

  Rachel chuckled, apparently unfazed by her explanation. “You’ll have to explain that later. I won’t keep you on the phone since you obviously haven’t had your first cup of coffee, but I’ve got news. Which do you want first—the good news or the good news?”

  “Well, I guess I want the good news first.” Autumn smiled, her zombie hangover vaporized by Rachel’s enthusiasm.

  “I’ve got three more new clients interested in what we can do for them. I’m emailing their portfolios to see if you want to work up proposals for them.”

  “Awesome. I should have something for them next week. And the other good news?”

  “I have a friend who can get you the same office furniture you ordered, but for twenty-five percent less. And he can have it delivered in ten days, rather than the three weeks promised by the other company. Are you interested? Should I tell Jay to cancel the first order?”

  “Yes! Of course.”

  “Consider it done.”

  “Wow. Thanks, Rachel. I felt bad about leaving town and dumping everything on you so soon, but you obviously have everything in hand. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.”

  “Not a problem. Samantha is working some long hours, trying to get settled and learn the ropes of her new job, so I’m happy to stay busy. There’s no rush on those portfolios. I told them it would be the end of next week when I got back in touch, so don’t let it take away too much of your time with Gabriella.”

  “I won’t. I’ll let you know what I think after I’ve had a chance to look them over and check the analytics. Thanks again.” Autumn ended the call and tapped her phone against her chin. This was working out so well.

  Jay was great at social-media work for the accounts they already had, but he wasn’t much of a salesman and hated schmoozing at parties and events to raise their company profile. So she was the creative person, he was operations, and Rachel was the salesperson. Yea!

  She jumped onto the bed. “Get up, get up! We can’t sleep away the day.” She bounced around Gabe’s curled form while Elvis barked at her display of exuberance. A horn sounded outside the house, and Elvis rocketed to the living room with Autumn right behind him. “It’s Catherine,” she yelled to Gabe. Then she flung the front door open to step onto the sun-drenched porch.

  “Hey, Cat. We just woke up.” The porch’s wood floor was warm under her bare feet, and purple morning glories that covered a wire terrace at one end were in full bloom. She flung her arms out. “It’s a beautiful day. Come inside and we’ll make breakfast.”

  Catherine looked tired, but her answering smile was broad. She was leaning on the truck’s fender, dressed in cargo shorts, a sleeveless T-shirt, and ratty running shoes. She jogged to the porch and up the steps in the smooth stride of someone accustomed to running. “I’ll make you both a quick to-go breakfast while you get dressed.”

  Autumn looked down at her silky boxers and spaghetti-strap tank top. “What? You don’t like my outfit?” She instantly regretted the tease when Catherine’s gaze ran over her body like a hot breath. Catherine’s neck and ears reddened, and Autumn’s nipples hardened in response. Though she knew they were clearly visible under the thin cloth, she fought down her impulse to cross her arms because it would draw even more attention.

  Catherine held the screen door open for Autumn. “We’re going to be working in the garden, so shorts and tennis shoes or sandals are okay, but I’d recommend a T-shirt to protect your shoulders, maybe one of Becki’s straw hats, and sunscreen.” Catherine headed into the kitchen, calling back over her shoulder. “Hurry, because we have people waiting for us.”

  Gabe was out of bed, dressed, and brushing her teeth while Autumn stared down at her suitcase.

  “Come on,” Gabe said. “They’ll all be waiting.”

  Autumn frowned at her, taking in Gabe’s shorts, T-shirt, and flip-flops. “I didn’t exactly pack for farmwork.”

  Gabe slapped her hands to her cheeks, her mouth a perfect O as she feigned disbelief. Then she smiled. “Wear those cut-offs.” She went to Becki’s chest of drawers and took out a red T-shirt. “This was kind of tight on Mom, so it shouldn’t be too baggy on you. Do you want one of Mom’s straw hats?”

  “Sure. Or a ball cap if that’s easier.”

  Gabe picked up a ball cap that proclaimed Best Mom Ever, then hung it back on the wall rack and selected one that stated No. 1 Elvis Fan.

  “Thank you. Thank you very much,” Autumn said in the worst-ever imitation of the legendary singer’s voice.

  Gabe groaned dramatically. “That was so bad,” she said, putting the ball cap back and reverting to the original straw-hat plan. “I think this one.”

  “Are you guys going to take all day?” Catherine’s voice rang out from the kitchen, but they could hear her footsteps heading for the front door.

  “Come on,” Gabe said. “Cat will leave us if she gets in the truck before we do.”

  “Maybe she’ll leave you, but not me,” Autumn said, pulling on her shorts and T-shirt.

  “I’m headed out to the truck,” Catherine called out. “You know what happens if you aren’t there, Gabe.”

  “She better not leave me,” Autumn muttered, checking the set of her hat in the mirror.

  Gabe swiped Autumn’s shoes and ran for the door. “You can put these on in the truck.”

  Autumn raced after her. Catherine was starting the truck when Gabe grabbed the passenger door and yanked it open. She jumped into the truck and reached back to pull Autumn in after her as the truck began to move. “Damn. You were going to leave me, weren’t you?”

  Catherine grinned. “You bet. A rule’s a rule.”

  “Ha. And I’ve never met a rule that didn’t need—”

  Catherine’s raised eyebrow stopped her mid-sentence. Autumn’s eyes followed the very slight tip of Catherine’s head. Gabe’s eyebrow raised in a perfect imitation of Catherine, and her smirk challenged Autumn to finish her sentence.

  “Never met a rule that didn’t need to be honored.” Damn, this parenting thing was hard. “Yep. Rule keeper. That’s my middle name. Always keep the rules.”

  Catherine flashed that smile again—the one that made Autumn feel light and happy. She wouldn’t say Catherine was striking, or even beautiful. More like handsome. Sort of sexy when she smiled…in a butch, outdoorsy sort of way. It was really, really too bad butch wasn’t Autumn’s type.

  ***

  “So, we’re picking up day laborers?” Autumn eyed the group of people congregating under a huge shade tree that seemed to be the focal point of the village of neat single-wide trailers. A few men mingled there, but mostly women and children—lots of children running among the adults, laughing when one of the men would swing a child up onto his shoulders, or tugging on one of the women’s skirts for attention. The people called out greetings in English and Spanish as Catherine stopped the truck.

  Autumn’s exuberant mood deflated. They were spending the day with all these people? He
r stomach roiled with the familiar dread she’d always felt as she approached the high school each day. She could see, could feel their sense of community. She again would be an outsider.

  “Looks like Angelique is coming along today, Gabe.” Catherine pointed to a willowy girl with long, dark hair and a beautiful face. “That should make your day. You guys haven’t seen each other in weeks.”

  Gabe looked like she wanted to crawl under the dash of the truck as much as Autumn did. This Gabe wasn’t the competitive kid she’d played video games with the previous night, or the sweet kid who’d helped her dress for the day.

  “I’ll just wait in the truck,” Gabe said.

  “You’ll get hot in here,” Catherine said. “It’s going to take about thirty minutes to get organized and on our way back to the farm.”

  “I’ll keep the windows down.”

  Catherine frowned. “You guys have a fight or something?”

  Gabe shook her head. “I just don’t want to get out, okay?”

  Autumn had an idea what was troubling Gabe, but Catherine didn’t seem to be catching on. Time to throw herself in front of the bus and save Gabe from the same fear of public humiliation that had haunted Autumn’s childhood. She wasn’t the poor kid going to school in a thrift-shop sweater. She wasn’t a powerless child any longer. And her designer shorts weren’t hand-me-downs.

  She patted Gabe’s leg. “It’s probably that egg sandwich. You wolfed it down so fast, I thought you were going to accidently eat your fingers too.” She handed Gabe the bottle of water she’d left unopened because the iced latte Catherine had brought in a thermos was so much more her style. “Why don’t you just sit here and sip on this. Roll your window down, Catherine, and I’ll put mine down too so maybe she’ll catch a breeze while she lets her stomach settle.”

  Gabe took the bottle. “Thanks.”