by Ramona Gray
“She doesn’t want that,” I said. “She made it perfectly clear last night that all she wants is sex and that’s only until Phoebe comes back.”
“That blows. Sorry, buddy.”
“Yeah.” I checked my watch for about the hundredth time. “I fucked up with her this afternoon.”
“How?” Jonah leaned in a little closer.
“I assumed that she was sleeping with me as payment for giving her a place to stay and… it was awkward as shit. She said she’d always been attracted to me, but I still acted like a pissed off kid having a temper tantrum. She asked if I wanted to go to a movie and I brushed her off and…I could see how embarrassed it made her. God, I was such a jackass to her.”
“I’m sure you weren’t that bad,” Jonah said.
“She told me I could wake her up when I got home to have sex and I told her it would be too late.”
Jonah winced. “I take it back, you are a jackass.”
I muttered a curse before glancing at my watch again. “I asked Mia to pick her up from work after her shift. Her car won’t be ready until Monday and she doesn’t have money for a cab. I didn’t want her waiting for the bus when it’s so dark and cold outside.”
“You should have picked her up yourself,” Jonah said.
“I know.”
“But you didn’t.”
“I know.”
“Because you’re a jackass.”
“I know.” I glared at Jonah who just laughed before looking around the bar.
“Listen,” I said, “I’m gonna go. I need to talk to Nat, apologize to her.”
“You definitely do,” Jonah said, “but you don’t have to leave.”
“What do you mean?”
Jonah pointed to where Mia, Elijah and - my heart kicked into overdrive - Natalia were walking toward us.
“Hey, guys!” Mia grinned at me as the three of them stopped at our table. “Fancy running into you here.”
I gave her a what-the-hell-are-you-doing look that she ignored. Mia knew I would be at Ren’s tonight celebrating Claire’s birthday. She also knew about my crush on Natalia. About a month ago, after too many beers at this very bar, I had confessed my crush to both Mia and Elijah.
Now, I was sincerely regretting it as Mia gave me a wide grin. “How is everyone?”
“Good,” Jonah said. “We’re celebrating Claire’s birthday.”
“How lovely.” Mia turned to Claire. “Happy Birthday, Claire.”
“Thanks,” Claire said.
Mia glanced at Elijah and Natalia. “The three of us decided we could use a drink as well. It’s so crazy to run into you guys like this.”
She gave Jonah a look that clearly said, “invite us to stay, you idiot”.
“Why don’t you join us,” Jonah said with a small grin. “There’s plenty of room.”
“Are you sure?” Mia’s look would have melted butter. “We wouldn’t want to intrude.”
“You’re not.” Claire pointed to the two empty chairs between me and Asher. “Have a seat.”
“Thanks so much,” Mia replied.
Natalia cleared her throat. “Um, there are only two chairs and I’m pretty tired, so I think I’ll call it a night and -”
“Don’t be silly.” Luna jumped up and tugged on Asher’s arm. “Sit in my seat, honey.”
He moved over and she plopped herself down on his lap, slinging her arm around his thick neck and kissing his cheek. “You don’t mind if I sit in your lap, do you?”
“You know I don’t,” he replied.
“There, three empty seats,” Luna said. “Sit down, Natalia.”
Before Natalia could sit next to them, Mia had practically shoved Elijah toward the empty chair. “Elijah, you sit next to Asher.”
He sat down and Mia stole the chair next to him before patting the empty seat between us. “Here you go, Natalia.”
“Thank you.” She sat down and gave me a faint smile. “Hi, Matt.”
“Hey,” I said. “How was work?”
“Fine,” she replied.
There was silence and then Jonah leaned around me and grinned at her. “Hey, Natalia. How are you?”
“Good, thanks. How are you?”
“I’m fantastic.” Jonah nudged me in the ribs. “Introduce her to everyone, jackass.”
I mumbled an apology to Nat before saying in a loud voice. “Everyone, this is Natalia. Natalia, this is everyone.”
Jonah snorted his disgust as Luna waved at Natalia. “Hey, I’m Luna and this is Asher. You work at the diner, right?”
Nat nodded as Claire held up her wine glass and grinned at her. “I’m Claire, today is my birthday, and I’ve already had way too much to drink.”
Natalia laughed. “It’s nice to meet you, Claire. Happy Birthday.”
“Thank you, Natalia.” Claire tipped her glass to her before taking a sip.
As the others began to chat, I was uncomfortably aware of how quiet Nat was being and the way she avoided my gaze.
“Do you want a drink?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No, I can’t stay too long.”
“Why not?” I said. “When was the last time you had a night out?”
She shrugged and I leaned a little closer, hating the way it made her stiffen. “You deserve to have some fun in your life, Nat.”
“I do have fun,” she said. “Just because my idea of fun doesn’t match yours, doesn’t mean I live a boring life. Maybe I’m not big into going out drinking and partying, but I like spending time with my kid, okay?”
“I know that.” I was more stung by her words than I wanted to admit it. “I like hanging out with Phoebe too, she’s a great kid.”
She didn’t reply and I glanced around the table before standing up. “Come dance with me.”
“What?”
I held out my hand and after a moment’s hesitation, she stood and took my hand. I walked slowly to the dance floor, knowing her feet would be killing her, and took her into my arms. God, it felt so right to have her body against mine. We swayed to the music and I bent my head and inhaled the scent of her hair.
“Why are you sniffing me?”
“You smell good.”
“I smell like stale French Fries and grease.”
I grinned. “Yeah, you do.”
She sighed, and I held her a little closer before pressing a kiss against her temple. “I’m sorry, Nat. I was a dickhead earlier.”
“No, you weren’t,” she said. “I was. It seems like I’m always saying the wrong thing and making the worst assumptions about you and I hate myself for it. But I seem to keep on doing it.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I deserve my reputation.”
She stared up at me. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Constantly make excuses for my shitty behaviour toward you. I’m an adult and I need to own up to my mistakes. I’ve made a ton of mistakes about you and who you are as a person and I am truly sorry for it. There is nothing wrong with how you live your life, Matt.”
I didn’t reply and she reached up and cupped my face. “I mean that. You’re a good guy. In fact, you might be one of the best guys I’ve ever met.”
I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that she made me want to be a good guy, but it sounded cheesy and stupid in my head. And even though I knew she would never love me the way I loved her, I couldn’t help but feel a flush of pride at her words.
“I mean that,” she repeated. “You’re amazing, Matt Andrews.”
“You’re pretty amazing yourself.”
She shook her head. “Not lately, but I promise to be better.”
We danced in silence for a few minutes, before she said, “Thank you for asking Mia to give me a ride home after work. That was really nice of you.”
“I should have done it myself,” I said.
“No, you needed to be here at your friend’s party.” She gave me a quick look. “I’m not a crazy stalker
, by the way.”
“What do you mean?”
“I didn’t know you were going to be here. Mia asked me if I wanted to go to the bar with them and I didn’t want to sit home alone so I said yes. But if I’d known that you would be here, I would’ve said no.”
“I’m glad you didn’t know then,” I replied.
She smiled a little. “I just want you to know that I got your message loud and clear earlier, and I promise I’m not going to...”
I frowned at her. “Not going to what?”
Her face flushed and she looked away. “Ask you for sex again.”
Shit. I really had fucked up.
I tried to think of the right words to say, tried to decide how to convince her that my rejection had nothing to do with her and everything to do with me being a giant ass baby.
Aw, fuck it. The best way to tell her was to show her.
I stopped our gentle swaying and cupped her face before kissing her hard on the mouth. She made a muffled sound of surprise when I slipped my tongue into her mouth and pressed her lower body up against mine. I was already hardening, just the taste of Nat’s mouth made me horny as hell.
I pulled back and ignoring the amused looks of the dancers around us, I squeezed Nat’s ass with my free hand and said, “This is the message I want you to hear, Nat.”
I leaned down and put my mouth to her ear. “I was being an idiot earlier. I want you naked, in my bed, and moaning my name. Can you feel how much I want you?”
I pressed my dick against her, and she made a soft little moan that only I could hear.
“Can you, Nat?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Good, then let’s get the hell out of here and go home so I can get you naked and under me.”
She licked her lips before giving me a sexy little grin. “Actually, I was thinking this time maybe I’d be on top of you. If you’re good with that?”
“Sweetheart, I am one hundred fucking percent good with that.”
Chapter Nine
Natalia
“Hey, beautiful.”
I turned, a smile breaking out on my face when I saw Matt standing behind me. “Hi!”
I sounded like a giddy school girl, but I couldn’t help it. The minute I saw him, I got all hopped up on hormones and lust.
Too bad you don’t get to bang him anymore.
I ignored my inner voice, even though it was right. Maggie was bringing Phoebe to me after work and my two-day sex marathon with Matt was over.
Why? You can sleep with Matt after Phoebe goes to sleep. Why are you denying yourself what you want?
“How was your shift?” I asked.
“Good. Not that busy for a Saturday. I thought I’d stop by and bring you some leftovers for dinner.” Matt held up a plastic container. “I made shrimp stir-fry for dinner. Do you like shrimp?”
“I love it,” I said. “Thank you, that’s so thoughtful of you. I’m actually about to take my dinner break, if you want to hang out with me?”
“Sure.” Matt followed me to the staff booth. He sat down and I grabbed us both waters before easing into the booth across from him.
He frowned when I winced a little. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Sore thighs and…”
He gave me an adorably wicked grin. “Sore pussy?”
I blushed but nodded. “Yes.”
“I’ll kiss it better for you later tonight,” he said.
“Oh, uh, Maggie and Wyatt are bringing Phoebe to the diner once my shift is done,” I said.
His smile slipped for only a few seconds. “Right, of course. So, how’s work been going?”
“Good. Well, tips aren’t great tonight but…” I shrugged and opened the container of food. “This smells delicious.”
“Cooking is only one of my many talents,” Matt said.
I smiled at him. “You are very talented. Who taught you to cook?”
“My old man,” Matt said.
“Your mom passed away when you were a kid, right?”
“Yes. Cancer.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. I don’t remember her very well, to be honest. I was only five when she died. Anyway, it was just me and my Dad and he taught himself to cook and then taught me.”
“It must have been difficult for you and your dad,” I said.
His fingers tugged restlessly at the strings on his hoodie. “Harder on my dad, I think. He loved her a lot. Although, it didn’t stop him from sleeping with half the ladies in town, married or not.”
He laughed bitterly. “When I was a kid, I swore I wouldn’t be like him. Swore that if I ever had a kid, I wouldn’t parade a different woman in front of him every weekend like it was some sort of game I was winning. It’s why I didn’t date in high school, why I stuck to stuff like chess and the debate club because I knew high school girls weren’t into that. But then my hormones got the best of me.”
His smile was weary. “Next thing you know, I’m exactly like my old man.”
“No,” I reached across the table and squeezed his hand, “you aren’t, Matt. You don’t sleep with married women, and you’re not exposing your kid to a different woman every weekend.”
He stared at our fingers laced together. “I spent most of my childhood watching my father bring home different women every damn weekend. Some of them were nice to me, some of them ignored me, but none of them stuck around. I wanted a mom and all I got was a father who treated me like I was second place in his life. The women always came first. Always. I spent most of my weekends in front of the television, the volume turned as loud as it could go so that I wouldn’t hear the woman in my father’s bedroom.”
I squeezed his hand again and blinked back the tears. The hurt and the loss in Matt’s voice tore at my heart. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
He cleared his throat roughly and refused to meet my gaze. “I’m not a parent, but I understand why you want to keep Phoebe from knowing we’re together.”
He finally raised his gaze to mine. “Honestly, I hate that I won’t ever get to be with you again, but I love that you put your kid first.”
Now the tears were slipping down my face and I pressed my lips together before whispering, “Matt, I -”
“Mama!”
Phoebe’s happy shout made me wipe the tears away hurriedly as she barreled toward us. Maggie was walking behind her, and I smiled happily when Phoebe climbed into the booth beside me and hugged me hard.
I buried my face in her neck and inhaled deeply before kissing her face repeatedly. “Hi, Pheebs. I’ve missed you.”
“Hi, Mama.” Phoebe grinned at me before kissing me on the lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” I said before hugging her again.
Maggie slid into the booth beside us and smiled at Matt. “Hey, Matt.”
“Hi, Maggie.”
Phoebe’s eyes widened and she twisted her head to stare in wide-eyed delight at Matt. “Mattie! Mama, it’s Mattie!”
She squirmed out of my grip and slid under the table in the booth before popping back up on Matt’s side. She climbed into the seat beside him and threw her chubby arms around his neck before kissing his cheek. “Hi, Mattie.”
“Hi, Pheebs Bo Beebs,” he said.
She squealed laughter before patting his face with her little hand. “You miss me, Mattie?”
“I did. Very much.”
“Good.” She climbed into his lap, resting the back of her head against his chest as she smiled at me. “I sittin’ with Mattie, Mama.”
“I see that.” I popped a forkful of stir fry into my mouth as Maggie smiled at Phoebe.
“I know you’re taking her home tonight, but Pheebs was starting to miss her mama, so I told her we’d come visit while you had dinner. Isn’t that right, Pheeby-pie?”
“Yep,” she said before looking up at Matt. “I ate all my dinner tonight.”
“Good job, sweetheart.” He smiled down at her and my chest squeezed tight. Sitting in th
e booth with Matt and having him look at my kid with so much affection, I could almost pretend that we were just a happy family having dinner together.
“Mama, I go home with you and Mattie tonight,” Phoebe said.
“Well, yes, but not for a little while. You’re going to go back to Aunt Maggie’s first and then we’ll pick you up from there and go home,” I said.
“Nope,” Phoebe shook her head before smiling at Matt, “I go home with Mattie.”
“Not until later,” I said. “You need to stay with Aunt Maggie for a little longer.”
“I don’t wanna,” Phoebe said.
“Ooh, Pheebs, we were having so much fun together.” Maggie reached across and tickled her belly. Phoebe giggled and pushed her hand away.
“I know. But I go home with Mattie and Mama now.”
“Mama isn’t going home yet,” I said. “I still have to work.”
“Oh.” Phoebe gave Matt a hopeful smile. “I go home with you, Mattie?”
“Sure,” Matt said. “You and I will hang out until your mama is finished work.”
“Matt, you don’t have to do that,” I said. “Maggie will keep her until I’m done work. Right, Mags?”
Maggie nodded. “I sure will. Phoebe, we can watch Peppa Pig and Uncle Wyatt will make us popcorn. What do you think?”
“No,” Phoebe said stubbornly. “I stay with Mattie.”
“I really don’t mind.” Matt smiled at me before kissing the top of Phoebe’s head. “I’ve been jonesing for my Peppa Pig fix.
“Are you sure?” I said. “I work until nine.”
“I’m positive. It’s only two hours,” Matt said.
“I know, but…”
“I’ll take good care of her, Nat. I promise.”
I smiled at him and not caring that Maggie was watching us, reached across and took his hand. “I know that. I’m not worried. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to hang out with my kid.”
“I don’t.” Matt squeezed my hand before smiling at Phoebe. “You’re coming home with me, munchkin.”
“Yay!” Phoebe drummed her feet against his thighs before smiling at Maggie. “I love Mattie.”
I nearly choked on my mouthful of stir fry. Maggie thumped me on the back and handed me my glass of water before smiling at Phoebe. “That’s good, kiddo.”
